wish there could be positive stories

I understand the need to vent and come for advice. I am sure that I will be doing the same. I just felt that there were so many stories of people saying that the first few months were so bad and it scared the living daylights out of me! It is encouraging to see people responding to this that have positive first month experiences.

 

Our first year was awesome. Yes, there were some rough nights here and there but they dropped to one night feed at 9 weeks and stuck with that pattern predictably until 9 months so I wasn't sleep deprived for long at all. We never needed to use CIO because they had (and still have) great sleep habits. No allergies, no major illnesses... But, when I posted talking about my good fortune, I was met with replies that reeked of jealously. People having a rough time didn't want to hear about me "having it easy". So, not only do people not post when they're not having any issues because they simply don't need the help, they may keep their mouth shut because they don't want to upset those who are struggling.

So don't waste energy waiting for it to get awful -- enjoy your babies!

 

I was actually thinking the same thing the other day. I sometimes get the impression from people on here that twins are a curse, not a blessing. I wholeheartly agree that having kids can be very stressful at times and your first is probably the hardest because that's when your life changes so much. For 1st time moms with 2 babies, it probably is a little overwhelming. I know I was overwhelmed with my 1st and I can't even begin to tell you how terrified I was when I discovered we were having twins. That being said ...

I have absolutely loved having twins - the ENTIRE year. I am so thankful I was blessed with this experience and can't even believe I was ever upset! Maybe I have been blessed with easy babies or maybe I was better prepared because I already had an EXTREMELY active child. I do remember being terribly stressed the 1st month about BF before I decided I would be a better mom if I stopped. Anyway, I have really loved the experience. I learned quickly how to get all 3 kids out of the house by myself, I arranged naps and "rest" time for all 3 at the same time so I can have some quiet time and I created a "loose" schedule for us fairly early. Have fun with them!

 

I understand where you are coming from but for me, I was relieved to hear that I wasn't the ONLY one that was having a hard time. I found that I could relate to a lot of what other people were going through and it made things easier for me....knowing I wasn't the only one. I agree with the pp's in that bad news travels faster then good news. Don't let it discourage you, don't let it get you down. There are so MANY amazing and beautiful things about being a twin mommy but it's no cake walk either. I think that TS is wonderful! It's a place to vent, a place to compare stories and it can be a place to brag and show off your beautiful babies!

 

QUOTE(HT @ May 9 2008, 12:26 PM) [snapback]764444[/snapback]
I was actually thinking the same thing the other day. I sometimes get the impression from people on here that twins are a curse, not a blessing. I wholeheartly agree that having kids can be very stressful at times and your first is probably the hardest because that's when your life changes so much. For 1st time moms with 2 babies, it probably is a little overwhelming. I know I was overwhelmed with my 1st and I can't even begin to tell you how terrified I was when I discovered we were having twins. That being said ...

I have absolutely loved having twins - the ENTIRE year. I am so thankful I was blessed with this experience and can't even believe I was ever upset! Maybe I have been blessed with easy babies or maybe I was better prepared because I already had an EXTREMELY active child. I do remember being terribly stressed the 1st month about BF before I decided I would be a better mom if I stopped. Anyway, I have really loved the experience. I learned quickly how to get all 3 kids out of the house by myself, I arranged naps and "rest" time for all 3 at the same time so I can have some quiet time and I created a "loose" schedule for us fairly early. Have fun with them!



I have never gotten the impression that anyone thinks it is a curse. Having had three singletons prior to twins, I can verify that two are indeed much harder to care for. I plan to speak freely of my experiences and ask for advice when I am stressed, concerned, etc. Just b/c I reach out to others will in no way mean that I don't feel extremely blessed! I thank God everyday... right after I pray for patience!

 

Ok, here is my list of good things:

1. The boys started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks. (They are 5 months old today)
2. They only cry when they are hungry or wet/poopy.
3. I lost all of my weight within a month. (really happy about this one)
4. Once they start smiling and laughing, you just fall even more in love with them!
5. We love storytime, playtime, and snuggles.
6. My husband is such a huge help and adores his sons.
7. We carried to 38 weeks, with no NICU time. The boys are wonderfully healthy, fat and adorable.
8. I am able to stay home with them. (A blessing for sure!)

Wow, I'm glad you posted this. Makes me see how much I have to be thankful for. It's not always roses and sunshine, but for the most part, I LOVE my life and my family.

 

QUOTE(JVC0625 @ May 9 2008, 10:27 AM) [snapback]764565[/snapback]
Ok, here is my list of good things:

1. The boys started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks. (They are 5 months old today)
2. They only cry when they are hungry or wet/poopy.
3. I lost all of my weight within a month. (really happy about this one)
4. Once they start smiling and laughing, you just fall even more in love with them!
5. We love storytime, playtime, and snuggles.
6. My husband is such a huge help and adores his sons.
7. We carried to 38 weeks, with no NICU time. The boys are wonderfully healthy, fat and adorable.
8. I am able to stay home with them. (A blessing for sure!)

Wow, I'm glad you posted this. Makes me see how much I have to be thankful for. It's not always roses and sunshine, but for the most part, I LOVE my life and my family.


I will pretty much take your entire list, because that is exactly how mine are. Except a few differences.
-I have b/g twins.
-I lost all but gained some back because of my poor eating habits.
-We carried to 37.5 weeks
-my SO stays home with them and I am back at work.

They do something different almost everyday. It's so exciting to go home and see what they have done today

 

QUOTE(spiveyplustwins @ May 8 2008, 07:22 PM) [snapback]763445[/snapback]
Don't get me wrong - I LOVE twinstuff! The expecting forum was so helpful and informative! My boys are 4 weeks old so I have not been in the first year forum long - however, I was reading through posts this morning and got so discouraged and terrified! My boys have been doing very well, but it seems like the only stories I hear are horror stories! It made me scared of what was to come. I read through the post about survival tips and so many of you guys said the first four months were horrible.

Does anyone have any GOOD stories about the first few months - stories that are encouraging instead of terrifying?


My babies have gotten consistently easier and easier as time goes by. It really started at 6 weeks and seems like it has been all downhill from there. Now, at 3 months, they are happy and smiley and awake a lot more often without crying. They are starting to like to play. They sleep really well - go down at 7 and get up at 4 to eat, then we wake them up at 7. If they do have a fussy night and end up in the swings, they will skip the 4:00 a.m. feeding and wake up at 6:30 or so to eat. Anna wakes up happy and smiley and just kind of like, if you have a minute, I'd love a bottle. Things are good here. They are still hard work, but things are good.

 

I definitely agree with some of the other posters - people tend to post more when they are having trouble because they are looking for help. I posted a lot of issues I was having with my oldest child and I was so grateful when I got tons of responses with suggestions and acknowledgement that it wasn't only happening to me.

 

QUOTE(HT @ May 9 2008, 11:26 AM) [snapback]764444[/snapback]
I was actually thinking the same thing the other day. I sometimes get the impression from people on here that twins are a curse, not a blessing. I wholeheartly agree that having kids can be very stressful at times and your first is probably the hardest because that's when your life changes so much. For 1st time moms with 2 babies, it probably is a little overwhelming. I know I was overwhelmed with my 1st and I can't even begin to tell you how terrified I was when I discovered we were having twins. That being said ...

I have absolutely loved having twins - the ENTIRE year. I am so thankful I was blessed with this experience and can't even believe I was ever upset! Maybe I have been blessed with easy babies or maybe I was better prepared because I already had an EXTREMELY active child. I do remember being terribly stressed the 1st month about BF before I decided I would be a better mom if I stopped. Anyway, I have really loved the experience. I learned quickly how to get all 3 kids out of the house by myself, I arranged naps and "rest" time for all 3 at the same time so I can have some quiet time and I created a "loose" schedule for us fairly early. Have fun with them!


It's fabulous that you have had such a perfect and blissful first year. That is GREAT!!

I spent four years and 40,000 dollars on my twins and would NEVER consider them a "curse." I would NEVER use that word to describe mine or anyone elses' children.

TS should definitely be a 'safe haven' for people to VENT away. It shouldn't mean that someone doesn't consider their children blessings. I have NEVER once in my entire time on TS had those thoughts even cross my mind about ANYONE.

I love my boys. Was it the hardest thing I have EVER done in my entire life for those first 14 weeks?? You bet your butt! Would I have rather been prepared by my mom (who had twins) for what I was going to be "in for"? ABSOLUTELY. I tend not to be one of those people who likes to be told that I'm going to DisneyWorld when I'm actually being taken for a root canal. I like to be realistic. Did I think I was going to make it through those first weeks? Nope. Did I? Yep. Am I stronger for it? You better believe it.

We all love our kids; doesn't change a thing if we struggle or sail through it.

I LOVE that people b*tch and moan and cry and complain!! That's what we're here for!! If that stops-- I won't come around anymore!! LMAO!

Love you guys and PLEASE DON'T CHANGE A THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hi,

Your post sort of reminds me of when I was pg and could not sleep. I would watch Discovery Health channel-Babies Special Delivery and would freak out! Just knowing what could happen had me so scared.

I usually post here when I have a question or need to vent. My boys are 4 months and it has gotten easier but I feel it because of these boards. :bow2: If I did not know about TS, I most likely would of gone :wacko: :crazy: There have been many days I wanted to post something and someone was asking the same question.


Here is my list of good things:

I made it to 37 1/2 weeks with no NICU time.
They cry when they are hungry or tired. It's been then way pretty much from birth.
They started sttn at 3 months and now sleep 11 hours at night.
They now take a good 3 hour nap in the afternoon.
Oh, those first smiles :wub: they just melt your heart.
I love when they wake up and I go into their room and they are just full of smiles.
I am lucky to be a sahm.

I know there are many more, but those are just a few.

 

QUOTE(ivfbound078 @ May 9 2008, 04:36 PM) [snapback]764901[/snapback]
TS should definitely be a 'safe haven' for people to VENT away. It shouldn't mean that someone doesn't consider their children blessings. I have NEVER once in my entire time on TS had those thoughts even cross my mind about ANYONE.

We all love our kids; doesn't change a thing if we struggle or sail through it.

I LOVE that people b*tch and moan and cry and complain!! That's what we're here for!! If that stops-- I won't come around anymore!! LMAO!

Love you guys and PLEASE DON'T CHANGE A THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AMEN SISTER!!

 

Wow, I never said anyone on this board doesn't love their twins! I just think twins sometimes get a bad rap on here. I think it's kids in general that can be stressful, etc. Maybe "curse" wasn't the appropriate word and I apologize.

I have been lucky to have such a great year with my twins, but I have also had some really rough years with my older child so I completely understand mom's frustrations. This goes back to why I think whether it's hard or not depends on the kid's personality, not because there are two. I also commented in another post that I understand negative comments on here and won't want people to stop posting because I know it's because people need suggestions.

I know how hard some women have worked to get their twins here safe and healthy and I know how blessed they feel! I've had numerous miscarriages myself including my oldest DD's twin.

 

i didnt post on the last thread, because i didnt want to sound like i was floating my own boat

My girls are soooo great, and they have been since birth!! They were born 4 weeks early, no NICU time, and we al left the hospital after two days. As soon as we came home, they were wonderful!! They were content and happy, and they only cried when they were hungry. they started sleeping through the night around ten weeks old, and its been smooth sailing ever since!!

dont get me wrong, when they are teething or have a cold, they can be a little crabby, but i have never experienced an all out screaming match ( and i hope i never do!!)

I decided a couple weeks ago to try the CIO method with my girls, because we have been letting them fall asleep downstairs. So, i got myself all geared up and put them to bed, ready for them to get PO'd!! Instead, they cooed back and forth for about ten minutes and then just fell asleep!! I was amazed and i thank god every day!!

Not all stories are bad!!--and dont get scared! enjoy the moments, they go by fast!!

 

There was soooo much I enjoyed the first few months. OK, by 9 weeks they were sleeping 13 hours a night (that lasted until they were 5 months - not any more though) so that might have helped. Every day we would go to the park and lie on a blanket, one on either side of me. We would watch the leaves and the clouds and I would hold their hands and talk to them. I've lived in my house for 11 years and it is 3 houses up from the park but, that year, for the first time since I've lived here, monarch butterflies made it their resting ground. Each night at dusk we would go and look at the trees covered in butterflies and watch the neighbourhood kids (and adults) run around and chase them and delight in the whole thing. And I would be watching this marvel of nature with my own marvel strapped to my chest and I'd whisper to him about all the amazing things he would see in his life. Every night we had a witching hour and I'd walk up and down the street with one of them held in my arms singing to them. The whole neighbourhood would be on their porches or walking their own babies and we'd talk and laugh about what we were going through. Every day I'd sit on my front porch and all the neighbourhood kids would come up and want to hold them and guess which one was which and the boys would smile and coo.

I loved that first summer. I cried when it was over. I cried that last warm day in October when I knew I was laying on the blanket in the park for the last time because I knew the next year they would be crawling or running around.

One more thing, every night my Ezra would laugh in his sleep and I would hear it on the monitor and it filled me with such joy to know he was happy even when he was sleeping.

I could go on.

Every night try to find 3 things you were grateful for in the day. You will be surprised at how much we almost let slip by us.

thanks for giving me the opportunity to remember those first few months.

 

QUOTE(ladybenz @ May 8 2008, 09:21 PM) [snapback]763631[/snapback]
Now I feel bad for posting how stressed I was earlier this week.


No one here should ever feel bad about posting something 'negative'!!! This IS a place to get your answers, whether you are having a good day or a bad day!! Having twins IS stressful no matter how happy and good your babies are. I would hate for people to feel uncomfortable posting their true feelings here. Being honest is the only way to get help and support.

I've had many great days with my babies and totally adore them. But there have been many challenges and often I needed to vent or needed help figuring out a solution. It is a great feeling to know I am not alone!

 

I agree with you 100%! I post on another board - with mom's that were all due in March. We talk about a lot more than just the "horrible" times. It's great. I only come here for questions.... I don't come here to "talk".

My twins are 15 weeks old - I only have positive things to say.

 

QUOTE(ivfbound078 @ May 9 2008, 04:36 PM) [snapback]764901[/snapback]
It's fabulous that you have had such a perfect and blissful first year. That is GREAT!!

I spent four years and 40,000 dollars on my twins and would NEVER consider them a "curse." I would NEVER use that word to describe mine or anyone elses' children.

TS should definitely be a 'safe haven' for people to VENT away. It shouldn't mean that someone doesn't consider their children blessings. I have NEVER once in my entire time on TS had those thoughts even cross my mind about ANYONE.

I love my boys. Was it the hardest thing I have EVER done in my entire life for those first 14 weeks?? You bet your butt! Would I have rather been prepared by my mom (who had twins) for what I was going to be "in for"? ABSOLUTELY. I tend not to be one of those people who likes to be told that I'm going to DisneyWorld when I'm actually being taken for a root canal. I like to be realistic. Did I think I was going to make it through those first weeks? Nope. Did I? Yep. Am I stronger for it? You better believe it.

We all love our kids; doesn't change a thing if we struggle or sail through it.

I LOVE that people b*tch and moan and cry and complain!! That's what we're here for!! If that stops-- I won't come around anymore!! LMAO!

Love you guys and PLEASE DON'T CHANGE A THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I love the bit about the root canal! :lol:

 

QUOTE(ladybenz @ May 8 2008, 09:21 PM) [snapback]763631[/snapback]
Now I feel bad for posting how stressed I was earlier this week.



You shouldn't feel bad about your post and neither should anyone else who comes here and vents. Just to be completly real for a moment...two babies is really hard. I mean I think it would be unrealistic to think otherwise. I have been so encouraged by the good and the bad posts. The bad ones show me I'm not alone, and I have needed that some days. The good ones show me that it can be and will be better. Not only that but that I can perhaps look at my situation different. There have been times where I was very negative and someones post just made all the difference. We are here because we feel safe to just be completly frank about the hardships of being a twin mom. Good days, bad days and in between, its where we are and its great that we can all be there for each other.

 

QUOTE(Momto2es @ May 9 2008, 06:10 PM) [snapback]765093[/snapback]
There was soooo much I enjoyed the first few months. OK, by 9 weeks they were sleeping 13 hours a night (that lasted until they were 5 months - not any more though) so that might have helped. Every day we would go to the park and lie on a blanket, one on either side of me. We would watch the leaves and the clouds and I would hold their hands and talk to them. I've lived in my house for 11 years and it is 3 houses up from the park but, that year, for the first time since I've lived here, monarch butterflies made it their resting ground. Each night at dusk we would go and look at the trees covered in butterflies and watch the neighbourhood kids (and adults) run around and chase them and delight in the whole thing. And I would be watching this marvel of nature with my own marvel strapped to my chest and I'd whisper to him about all the amazing things he would see in his life. Every night we had a witching hour and I'd walk up and down the street with one of them held in my arms singing to them. The whole neighbourhood would be on their porches or walking their own babies and we'd talk and laugh about what we were going through. Every day I'd sit on my front porch and all the neighbourhood kids would come up and want to hold them and guess which one was which and the boys would smile and coo.

I loved that first summer. I cried when it was over. I cried that last warm day in October when I knew I was laying on the blanket in the park for the last time because I knew the next year they would be crawling or running around.

One more thing, every night my Ezra would laugh in his sleep and I would hear it on the monitor and it filled me with such joy to know he was happy even when he was sleeping.

I could go on.

Every night try to find 3 things you were grateful for in the day. You will be surprised at how much we almost let slip by us.

thanks for giving me the opportunity to remember those first few months.


Thanks for remembering those first few months - that was VERY encouraging!