Why dont DH's get it

My Dh hasnt been home for 3 days. He works graveyard so since he sleep during the day I am doing most things by myself. He has been working double shifts to help get up ahead before the baby comes. It was supposed to be once a week but he did 3 in a row. I am so exhausted. We finally got our girls bunkbeds. I had to clear out there room and then put everything back so the delivery compmany could set them up. It was an all day project that couldnt wait for Dh to be able to help when he had some time. Saturday was a sunny and gorgeous day and I didnt want to waist it and I took our DD's outside to play and we worked in the flower gardens. I am still fighting this cold I have had for 2 weeks and sleep is getting harder and harder for me at night. So today was DH's first day off. He was going to go golfing with a friend from work but the weather was terrible so he slept in. That was fine by me I knew he was tired it had been a long 3 days for him. Then after he got up the sun came out and he made plans to golfing with his friends. Leaving me at home, tired lonely and feeling overwhelmed again. The girls have preschool in the morning and having him go in the AM would have been great for both of us. He would be home shortly after the girls came home and then I would be given a chance to sit back and get some rest. Instead he has left me home alone with 2 little girls that are crying for his attention and a mommy who is crying like a baby from exhaustion and lack of understanding from him. When I was pregnant with my twins DH took good care of me. He cooked me dinners, helped me with my baths and everything else I needed. I feel like since this pregnancy has been smooth he doesnt feel the need to have to care for me at all. I am not asking for him to cater to me but some understand or compasion for how I am feeling would be nice. Just because its not a bad pregnancy doesnt mean I dont need help with cooking dinner sometimes or taking care of the house and our daughters. My family who lives near by doesnt offer any help either. WHy does it take mommy or the babies to be sick to have people want to help. Im really not asking for much but something would be so great for me right now. I feel huge and look huge and its getting hard to try and get what need to be done by myself. I am trying to enjoy this pregnancy since I know its my last but its just so hard lately to enjoy it or find the time to play with my dd's and bond with them some more before the baby comes and my attention is split. Maybe I am being unreasonable? Being a SAHM isnt easy and just because I am at home doesnt mean I am sitting down relaxing all day. My job follows me to the bathroom, to the shower, and even wakes me when I am sleeping. I understand work is hard for him too but I make and pack his lunches, make sure he has his favorite snacks or drinks to relax him when he comes home, I make and serve him warm meals and I thank him for working so hard for us. A thank you, or I got this for you babe you go sit down would be wonderful and real uplift in my spirits. Sorry this has turned into such a pity party TS is my only release most of the time.

 

:hug99: :hug99: :hug99: I'm so sorry you are having a rough time and your dh isn't being understanding. Sometimes they need a swift kick in the behind to understand all that you are dealing with!

 

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I am really sorry you are going through this. I could have written your post. I love my DH, but he seems to think that pregnancy, expecially a singleton, is a peice of cake, and hardly ever offers to help me. Like you, I'm not asking to be waited on hand and foot, but little compasion and understanding would be great.

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:hug99: I think you should read your post to your DH. Sometimes DH's need a little reminder that mommy's need help and attention, too! And you are so right about your job following you everywhere. Get some YOU time quick. You'll feel refreshed and be able to spend some quality time with your girls. I'm sure your DH will understand. It just sounds like he needs a reminder!

 

I'm so sorry you are dealing with all of this right now. I do think it's true what you said about an easy pregnancy and it feeling like no one cares b/c there is no drama like there is with twins (normally). I hope your DH gets his head out of the hole adn helps you out some more. YOu definitely deserve a little bit of TLC. BTW, I love the names you have picked out fot the baby, I just noticed them on your ticket...very unique names. Love them!

 

I am right there with you too. My dh would rather be at the firehouse playing around than help me around here. I wish men had to experience pg for one day. Things would change then.

 

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I know how you're feeling. When i was pregnant with the girls I was on bedrest for 20 weeks and dh had no option but to cater to my every need. this time around things were going so smoothly i sometimes felt he expected me to be superwoman. have you tried talking to your dh? my dh had no idea i wanted help with some things I assumed he should be offering to help me with. after spelling it out it's gotten better. maybe you can give it a try?

 

I remember when the twins were little having an argument with my Dh about whose job was more demanding...I tried to explain it to him by saying that Matt and Gavin were my bosses, he went on to argue that his boss was more demanding than mine...I then won with a comment something like "oh yeah, does your boss sit on your lap when you take a dump!" (I used a grosser word :blink: ). He was amazed that that is what happens...he actually gets privacy!!!!

over the years he has figured it out and is usually pretty helpful...but he still needs a kick in the "arse" every now and then...they all do...and I really think they are just clueless!!! These days I refer to myself as growing a human as opposed to pg..he seems to get a clearer picture that way!!!

Hang in there...and tell him how you really feel like you could use a little extra TLC...he may just think you are superwoman!!!!

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