When to start Kindergarten

My boys will be 5 in August and will be starting Kidergarten this fall. I've had quite a few people ask me why we didn't wait and have them start Kindergarten next year, after they turn 6. I hadn't really considered waiting until next year to start them, so I was surprised when people kept asking.
Did your kids start when they were 5 or 6? Were they close to the cut-off so you pushed it back to the next year?

 

My boys have a late August birthday. They have been in Montessori school since they were three and kindergarten is just rolled into the "primary" years. But we did wait to move them up to the elementary school until they were 7 (so, basically, a year later than usual). My boys were preemies and one is especially small for his age. Also, the developmental pediatrician told us that, with preemies, he suggests going by their due date to decide regarding school placement. I don't know if your kids were preemies or not, so that may or may not apply. The other thing I'd say is just to look at your kids and see if you think they are ready for kindergarten--able to pay attention, etc. The "conventional wisdom" is that boys may be ready a little later than girls. I'm sure there are some teachers on the site who can give you some guidance on what to look for. BTW, we've been happy with our decision to keep our boys in the primary school for an additional year.

 

My boys will be 5 in June, and I have also had people tell me that they shouldn't start on time. BUT when I talk to their teachers, they all tell me that they are ready for K. I think if you talk to the teachers, they will give you the best idea of if they are ready to go on.

 

We gave all three of my boys an extra year to mature before starting them in kindergarten. My boys birthdays are 6/30 and 7/6. We started them all in school when they were 6. As they've gotten older, into middle and high school, we are appreciating the extra maturity even more. We've never regretted waiting. Academically, they were all more than ready for K at 5 (heck, Sean was reading for two years by the time he started K), but on a maturity level, we felt they could use another year to grow. Besides, I selfishly liked having them home that extra year. If I had it to do all over again, I would still wait because it's been a plus for our boys in many ways. I can't stress enough how happy we are that we waited that extra year with all of them. Now as Sean approaches college, I am appreciating it even more. One more year at home with Mom and Dad (selfish, I know).

It was our personal choice to wait on them. During that year, we enrolled them in Fabulous Fives, which was a terrific interim program at our preschool for 5 year olds. There were about 15 in their class. It was such a great experience for them.

Good luck with whatever you decide!!

 

My b/g twins have a July birthday, and were (still are) small for their age. However, both were early readers, and we never considered holding them back a year.

Our school administered a one-hour test of some description at kindergarten registration, and there were no indications that they weren't ready to start kindergarten.

Trust your instincts, and by all means discuss it with your school if you're on the fence.

 

My son has a late August birthday and we held him back last year. Academically he probably would have been ok, but he totally lacked the maturity I think he'd need for school. He was in preschool and did fine there except he refused to do any structured work the way they wanted him to do it (I like to do it my own way) and he is so emotionally sensitive that he would bring home all kinds of stress and be upset about everyone else's problems in his class. He also didn't want to go to school, so we put it all together and decided to keep him back last year.

He still doesn't want to go this fall but he has definitely matured enough that I don't think he'll have as much problems. Another thing to consider if you have full day kindergarten is how tired your child may be. My son, at 4 turning 5, would still sometimes nap and especially on school days after just 4 hours of preschool- I thought going 7:30-2:55 would make him way too tired and grumpy.

I think most kids would be just fine starting early or late. For me, I couldn't see any negatives related to holding him back last year and I think he's benefited a lot from it.

 

We read a book called Summer Children by James K Uphoff which was excellent. It really helped us make the decision for our boys to give them that extra year. I can't stress enough that it wasn't an academic decision, but an emotional maturity decision for us not to start them in school until age 6. The benefits of that extra year of maturity continue to exhibit themselves well into middle and high school.

 

Sorry to derail a bit.

Kim, did you find that you battled boredom issues with them, either early on or down the line? If so, how did you deal with it? I would have been afraid of that myself, as we had no alternative program, and as it was, they were somewhat bored, to the extent that their kdg teacher told me that if I wanted them to skip first grade, that they could do so (we definitely had no interest, due to the size and maturity issue). We did some fun stuff at home, but much of their school day was spent doing stuff they already knew.

 

Huh. My girls are 3.5 and they will be starting Kindergarten this September. They will still be 3 but will turn 4 in October. I live in Canada. I guess we start earlier here.

 

QUOTE(BGTwins97 @ Apr 24 2007, 03:56 PM) [snapback]232414[/snapback]
Sorry to derail a bit.

Kim, did you find that you battled boredom issues with them, either early on or down the line? If so, how did you deal with it? I would have been afraid of that myself, as we had no alternative program, and as it was, they were somewhat bored, to the extent that their kdg teacher told me that if I wanted them to skip first grade, that they could do so (we definitely had no interest, due to the size and maturity issue). We did some fun stuff at home, but much of their school day was spent doing stuff they already knew.

No, I honestly did not find that too much mainly because we had WONDERFUL teachers. For Sean, he was in a K/1 combined classroom (we lived in Ohio for K and part of 1st grade for him) and his teacher was terrific about assigning him slightly different, more advanced work, to help combat possible boredom. He was allowed to get his reading books from the older kids' classrooms, etc. She was excellent in helping him to work at his level and keeping him challenged. She knew from the beginning that we had issues with this. And honestly, he may have been bored as a 5 year old starting school (he had actually read my computer manual at age 5!), and we decided that the extra year maturity might help him to deal with that boredom and not act out in class if it became a problem. Communication with his teacher on a regular basis helped prevent boredom from setting in for him. As we moved to Tennessee in the second half of his 1st grade year, he was a bit bored here at the beginning until we talked with his teacher a bit and she got to know him better. Then she began to give him more challenging work as well -- allowed him to work at his own pace. We had much the same experience with Brian and Craig as we did with Sean, although they were in straight K classrooms. Their teachers had children of all levels and abilities and the more advanced students were given more advanced work to do -- somehow it all worked. They also did extra programs in K like Accelerated Reader which was terrific for them. In fact, throughout the school years, we've never really had to deal much with the boredom issue because all of our teachers were really wonderful at keeping the kids challenged at their level. I highly recommend if this is a concern at any age, that parents and teachers conference to find the optimal workload for their child. I don't know if it was unique to our elementary school, or if all schools are this great about keeping the kids motivated and challenged.

 

QUOTE(MamaKim @ Apr 24 2007, 05:00 PM) [snapback]232488[/snapback]
I highly recommend if this is a concern at any age, that parents and teachers conference to find the optimal workload for their child. I don't know if it was unique to our elementary school, or if all schools are this great about keeping the kids motivated and challenged.


Our school has generally been pretty good, but some years are better than others. Kindergarten was phenomenal -- the teacher gave them different work where appropriate, different books to read, and it was only later that I figured out that she might have had an ulterior motive in suggesting the first grade skip, because their first grade teacher had no interest whatsoever in going above and beyond. For the most part, it was a wasted year. It has improved quite a bit since then, both due to more involved teachers and pull-outs for enrichment activities. The school is starting to focus on individualized instruction, too, though the big push for that will start next year. I'm not sure yet exactly what that will mean. :lol:

 

QUOTE(HolyScrap! @ Apr 24 2007, 04:15 PM) [snapback]232434[/snapback]
Huh. My girls are 3.5 and they will be starting Kindergarten this September. They will still be 3 but will turn 4 in October. I live in Canada. I guess we start earlier here.


Angie, from what I have read from other Canadians, your 4-year old Kindergarten is like our preschool--I think Sharon (the other one ) refers to it as Jr. Kindergarten. Then you have a 5 year old Kindergarten, which is the same as ours, and they all go into 1st grade--if they aren't held (for ease of explaination) as 6 year olds. Now, my boys well go to K in the fall as barely 5, and Dianne's kids will be one month from turning 6, but both of us are sending "on time"--just how the birthdays worked out.

Does that make sense?

 

My boys will turn 6 in July and will start Kindergarten this fall. One of the main reasons to start boys later, is the late mental maturity of boys. Also, since their b-days are mid-summer, they will have the extra growth over most boys that will be in their class, stronger and more mentally able to handle the pressures and responsiblities associated with school through graduation. This is the best decision that I have made for them, and I have also read somewhere that whether sending early or late, by the time kids reach 3rd grade, they are all on the same levels anyway. So it is a personal choice for many people. But most people feel that boys with may-sept. b-days should wait another year. Just do what you feel is right for your children and you and them will be fine.

 

I think it's a personal choice based on your own children. My boys will be 5 on May 20, and they'll start Kindergarten in August. For them, to wait another year would be too long, as both are reading (Brady pretty proficiently). And they are the biggest kids in their preschool class, even though they are the youngest. I started Kindergarten when I was 4, turning 5 in October, so I was always the youngest in my class, but it worked great for me. Even being the youngest, I still was taller than all the girls and many of the boys, which was difficult enough in grade school and middle school. Another year older and I would have towered over everybody!

 

QUOTE(jxnsmama @ Apr 26 2007, 06:40 AM) [snapback]234278[/snapback]
For them, to wait another year would be too long, as both are reading (Brady pretty proficiently). And they are the biggest kids in their preschool class, even though they are the youngest.
I do think you have to do what is right for your own kids, and I think your boys will be fine starting this fall, Amy. I did want to point out, however, that Sean was reading for two years already prior to K and was also always tall for his age. These factors were not a problem at all in starting him later (as I described above). The main reason for starting them later is the emotional maturity factor as Caleb2Cody pointed out. The benefit of this emotional maturity is felt all throughout their middle and high school years as well. I cannot stress this enough. I was also always one of the youngest in my class and I know I probably could have benefited from that extra year myself. But I made it anyway. I graduated when I was 17. I look at Sean, who will be seventeen in two months, and there is no way he'd be emotionally ready to graduate and start college in just a year.

 

Amy, I am right there with you. I do think a discussion with preschool teachers can help as well. I was talking to Marcus' teachers one day, and we discussed that you would never know that Marc had a late birthday if you didn't look it up. Even as a 3 year old, he was a leader in the preschool class, and his peers flock to him. In fact, he would love to be "less liked"--such problems Jonathan, coming from the preschool disabled class, was never even a question of him going on to K. He actually reads and does math at around a 2nd grade level--and is physically bigger than most of his peers. There really isn't a right or wrong decision here.

I did hear through the grape vine, that there is a set of twins currently in K, who have Sept. birthdays. The parents sent them to K, and then want to have them repeat K. First of all, I don't think the school will allow that, but also, they are either going or not, it isn't fair to send them to K with the intention of retention--because they will just be devestated when they don't go on--especially if they aren't behind.

 

My twins aren't there yet but we had issues with DD. She is a middle of May baby and although I would have never thought to keep her out another year, I wish I had. She wasn't ready for school. She had been in daycare since she was a baby, but they were always non structured daycares. Unlike some of the other ladies children she wasn't reading, barely knew her abc's and honestly couldn't care less about them (this was the biggest issue to overcome). We found out way into school (end of March) that she was having hearing problems and probably had had them for years but undetected. Once we got that fixed she started to rebound academically. Even still she only passed K by a hair. Our K teacher suggested she go into the pre-1st program and that was what we should have done. Instead we pushed her into the 1st grade where she has struggled to keep up in just about every subject (the girl could barely read, but she can spell with the best of them). Now as the year is ending again she is probably going to make it to second grade. Unfortunately I don't think she is going to ever have it easy at school and I think some of it is because of her age. I really wish I would have stuck to my grounds for going into pre-first but DH saw it as failing when in reality it would have helped her get more of the basics down without actually having to repeat K. I would look into the school and see if they have something like a pre-1st option. This is for children that can do most of what they are asked of in K, but really need a little more help before they can tackle 1st grade. If the school has the option, then I would say you could always try K and if at the end they aren't doing well enough they can go into Pre-1st, If they don't have this option I would hold them back a year. Our K teacher said that she can predict which children will be held back each year based off of birthday and gender and 25yrs experience. She honestly said that the cutoff for all children should be no later than June and even that was pushing it.

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Apr 26 2007, 08:49 AM) [snapback]234369[/snapback]
I did hear through the grape vine, that there is a set of twins currently in K, who have Sept. birthdays. The parents sent them to K, and then want to have them repeat K. First of all, I don't think the school will allow that, but also, they are either going or not, it isn't fair to send them to K with the intention of retention--because they will just be devestated when they don't go on--especially if they aren't behind.


This must differ from school to school. It's considered no problem here to start your child in kindergarten with the idea that they might do a second year of it, and in fact some people make this decision based partly on financial considerations. Preschool is several thousand $/year; public kindergarten is free. For those kids who have been doing preschool, I don't see where they're more devastated by repeating kindergarten over going back to preschool while their peers move on to kindergarten.

Many local schools here offer a transitional year for the kindergarten-repeaters. The kids do kindergarten in the AM, then do the afternoon with the first grade. It eases the transition socially, since they spend time with both their new class and their old class, and they also get a bit of a preview of some of the first grade material, so that they have more confidence when they start full-time first grade the following year. The first grade day is structured so that the afternoon activities tend to be more accessible to the transitional kids (e.g. science and social studies and individualized reading).

Sometimes this is really the BEST thing for a struggling child, as if there is a true learning disability of some sort, the child is in the school system a year earlier and (at least in our rural area), the public schools are far more likely to have the resources to identify this sort of problem, whereas the preschools around here just don't have that sort of expertise.

 

QUOTE(BGTwins97 @ Apr 29 2007, 09:08 AM) [snapback]237454[/snapback]
Sometimes this is really the BEST thing for a struggling child, as if there is a true learning disability of some sort, the child is in the school system a year earlier and (at least in our rural area), the public schools are far more likely to have the resources to identify this sort of problem, whereas the preschools around here just don't have that sort of expertise.


Yes, for a struggling child, that is a great idea. BUT in this case, the children have no issues, just having a late birthday--and the parents didn't want to pay for preschool. For me, as a teacher, that is no reason to retain a child! For a child to repeat something that they easily did the first time, just so they can be the oldest and biggest in their class is simply rediculous! A child who is struggling is a whole different ball game. BTW, a truly learning disabled child is not helped by retention.

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Apr 29 2007, 12:11 PM) [snapback]237563[/snapback]
Yes, for a struggling child, that is a great idea. BUT in this case, the children have no issues, just having a late birthday--and the parents didn't want to pay for preschool. For me, as a teacher, that is no reason to retain a child! For a child to repeat something that they easily did the first time, just so they can be the oldest and biggest in their class is simply rediculous! A child who is struggling is a whole different ball game. BTW, a truly learning disabled child is not helped by retention.


Sorry, I wasn't understanding that there were definitely "no issues" with them. I completely agree that the whole redshirting just so they'll be the oldest (as opposed to genuine concerns about social maturity) is a poor idea. I was responding more to the opinion that they'll be devastated by being held back in kindergarten. If a child NEEDS to be held back, I don't see there being much difference between doing it in late preschool or doing it in kindergarten. Some kids who start kindergarten as borderline questionable thrive and blossom, and personally, I think that kids who are in the questionable range at the end of preschool should be given this opportunity.

As for learning disabled kids being helped or not by retention, my own experience with a relative is that a child with fairly mild learning disabilities can feel more comfortable with kids who are more closely matched to his ability. If allowed to progress with his original peers, he might find himself so far behind them as to exacerbate the self-esteem issues. That was our experience, at least.

 

My Alexandra's birthday is July 20th, so pretty close to the cut off. At the time I wasn't aware that I had a choice to wait until she was 6 to start her out in Kindergarten, but I wish I would have known that because I would have chosen to wait. My dd was very immature and had a really hard time sitting still and focusing for long periods so she spent most of kindergarten in time out and I was at my wits end. My daughter was the youngest kid in her class, it was horrible for both of us! Having said that I think it depends on how mature your boys are.

 

Our cut off is September 30th and my boys were born October 2nd. They were 32 wkrs. I am glad they missed the cut off so I didn't have to make the decision and it end up being the wrong one. My boys needed the extra year, academically and physically, but I feel they are ready now. They will start at age 5 but turn 6 less than 2 months later.

 

Our cut off the year my DD turned 5 was Sept. 30, she turned 5 Oct. 11, so she missed it by 11 days. She started K (all day) last Aug. and turned 6 at the beginning of Oct. She is the oldest kid in her class. I obviously did not have a choice, but to wait to send her, but if I had the choice I would have chosen to start her late. As a former teacher I've seen many kids who had "later b-days" and some not so late, that could have really benefited from that extra year. And sometimes, as Kim pointed out, it's about maturity rather than academics. I'm sure my DD would have been fine academically to start K when she was turning 5, but I did not want her to be the youngest in the class and have it possibly catch up to her in a few years. When I was teaching I heard several parents say they wished they would have started their child later as they were seeing it catch up to them in 2nd and 3rd grade. Our curriculum in Maryland is very academic and all day K is pretty much like first grade used to be. I did not want my DD struggling academically or lack maturity to be able to handle all that is asked of kids these days, and believe me I think it's too much. I just didn't want to end up with any regret and figured it would not hurt her at all to start a year later. And as she is ending her K year, she is doing great and I can definitely tell the younger kids in her class. I am glad she was an older student.

 

And as the mother of a soon to be 17 year old (end of the month), I can only say that we have seen the benefits of starting him later rather than earlier as time goes on. In fact, I would venture to say, I am more glad than ever that at 17 he will just be starting his junior year in HS. For a boy especially, the benefits of being a bit older really have proven to be an asset.

 

My oldest son turned 5 in July and our cut off here is September 1st. We were really torn, because he does suffer from very high end ADHD and sensory isssues. We were encouraged by all different people to do different things.... Since he attends a very small private school, all his classmates were going on the Kinder, and we knew he would be devastated to be held back. The teacher said he was ready, academically. We decided to let him go on...

I will admit he has struggled socially, but he will struggle in that are irregardless of where he is placed. He is reading at around a 3rd grade level, so being held back would have left him pretty frustrated academically. We are very involved in his day to day schooling and are in constant communication with his teachers.

I think that each parent know what his or her child can handle. (Kim explained that well in another thread! )

 

QUOTE(MommyTo3andCounting @ Apr 23 2007, 06:28 PM) [snapback]231430[/snapback]
My boys will be 5 in August and will be starting Kidergarten this fall. I've had quite a few people ask me why we didn't wait and have them start Kindergarten next year, after they turn 6. I hadn't really considered waiting until next year to start them, so I was surprised when people kept asking.
Did your kids start when they were 5 or 6? Were they close to the cut-off so you pushed it back to the next year?


Our school system actually does not allow parents to make that decision solely based on birth date. If they make the cut off they are supposed to go, unless it is mutually decided they are not ready socially, physically or academically ready by the parents and educators. I believe they do some evaluations and take preschool teachers recommendation into consideration in addition to parent's views. We have a friend who's child is currently going through this process as the pre-k teacher thinks she should consider holding him back due to some motor delays and maturity issues.

My daughters are also August birthdays and will be attending K in the Fall. We believe they are ready as do their pre-k teachers. On the other side we know a family with twins with a birthday one month later and they just made the decision to have them do a second year in pre-k. In their case the parents and school were in mutual agreement that it would benefit them personally.

I agree that it really does depend on the children and as a parent, you probably know best. I have heard arguments on both sides but like class placement I think this is best decided case by case. I don't think it benefits anyone to hold a ready child back or to send another one forward when they are not really ready. Good luck!

 

QUOTE
Our school system actually does not allow parents to make that decision solely based on birth date. If they make the cut off they are supposed to go, unless it is mutually decided they are not ready socially, physically or academically ready by the parents and educators.


K is not required - I don't think in any state. The standard I have seen is that children must be enrolled by the age of 7 or a declaration of home schooling filed.

If my guys were summer b-days, I would wait until 6 to start. As it is, I'm lucky that they are Nov babies so they will be amonst the oldest in their class without waiting a year to start K.

 

QUOTE(Mellizos @ Jun 16 2007, 03:36 PM) [snapback]294983[/snapback]
K is not required - I don't think in any state. The standard I have seen is that children must be enrolled by the age of 7 or a declaration of home schooling filed.

If my guys were summer b-days, I would wait until 6 to start. As it is, I'm lucky that they are Nov babies so they will be amonst the oldest in their class without waiting a year to start K.


You are right, it is not required here either and I was surprised about that actually. Our public school system does not allow parents to hold off a year just because they want to and some people are unhappy because of the trend in other states on this issue now. As a compromise I heard they are thinking of making the cutoff earlier but not sure if that will definitely happen. I was told if you wait the extra year and it is not deemed necessary then they can actually put the child right into first grade when they enter elementary school based on their age. I should be surprised about that too, then again nothing our school system does should surprise me any more!