We are 6 weeks this Friday... and I'm losing my mind.

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by keirin, Aug 10, 2011.

  1. keirin

    keirin Well-Known Member

    Our babies will be 6 weeks old in two days and I feel like I'm losing my mind. The last few weeks have gotten progressively worse... now it feels like all they do is cry all the time. I am constantly feeding one or both of them, and as soon as I lay our baby boy down he cries to be held. Neither of them likes the sling I have at all. I cannot make either of them happy most of the time and it's just killing me to listen to them cry.

    Any tips? Does it get better?
  2. Rollergiraffe

    Rollergiraffe Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    It does get better. Hang in there mama! The colicky/crying/never ending feeding cycle tends to be over by about 3 months. In the meantime, you need to come up with a strategy to survive! While you can't change the crying babies situation for a while, you can do some other things to help you get some rest and cope.

    How are night feedings going? If you're sure that they're getting enough (wet diapers, growing well) then you might want to look into reflux. Reflux can be very painful and worse when they're laying down, so that could explain why he wants to be held constantly. Bring it up to your ped.

    If they're not on a schedule, try to get them on one ASAP. If one is awake they both get fed at the same time so you can sleep in between. During the day do they like swings or bouncy chairs? Mine were not big fans of the sling either, but we had a vibrating bouncy chair that they liked and a rocking one. We'd rotate them through the chairs all day long, along with tummy time. I sang and rocked and read stories and showed them things around the house. Also put them in the stroller and take a walk around town.. sometimes being outside makes a big difference and the motion can put them to sleep.

    Have you got help available to you? If you do, now is the time to use and abuse it. Ask people to bring dinner when they come over, if the babies are napping when they get there ask them to fold laundry or wash a couple dishes or something. You are in survival mode!

    Finally, if they're safe and you need a time out for a few minutes, just do it. I sat on the front porch with a cup of tea many times while the babes had a bit of a cry. Never be afraid to take a mommy time out if you can come back just a little bit more patient and sane. :youcandoit:
    3 people like this.
  3. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    :hug: For me, 6 weeks old was THE hardest part to date. If you can get through this week and the next, it's all downhill. ITA with Jen- get all the help you can. Call anybody and everybody- even a giftcard for a takeout dinner is useful for those far away. If you belong to a church, call them up and ask that anybody who likes babies stop on by after work to help. Mine didn't like a swing at first, but came to be really dependent on it. Try it out again, even if they didn't like it immediately.

    If you are nursing, there is a growth spurt at 6 weeks as well. Those are tough- once it's over I'd hand them off to DH and get the heck out of the house for a couple of hours. This was also the time I gave up dairy for one of my boys who was 'colicky' (actually a dairy intolerance and acid reflux).

  4. staceyloraine

    staceyloraine Well-Known Member

    You may already be doing this but I would also say keep them on the same feeding & sleeping schedules as much as possible. Its hard but hang in there! You WILL make it!
  5. monica77

    monica77 Well-Known Member

    Hang in there, it does get better. I agree with everything the others said, so I won't repeat their advise. I wanted to tell you I found out about this trick by accident, in case you don't know it, please give it a try. When a baby cries while holding him or her, go to a sink and turn the faucet on. It used to calm my babies no matter how hard they cried. Even now it shuts them up. Also the little books that make a noise like they are made of plastic bags - make some noise with one of those, that helped them settle down as well. Enjoy these days, even if it's so hectic, time flies. It's all a blur to me when I think about those days, now I can't believe how big they are and they don't look like babies anymore :). Good luck!
    1 person likes this.
  6. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Happiest Baby on the Block was really great at this time, too!
  7. momof6

    momof6 Well-Known Member

    I had one with reflux and it made those early weeks very hard! We have 6 other kids and we felt like new parents always trying something new to see what would work! I also say same feeding schedule. It helps you sleep too! I highly recommend Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. It really helped us. Looking back today, those weeks were SO hard, but here we are with babies sleeping 12 hours! Good Luck momma it gets better!! Oh and don't be shy to ask for help!!
  8. KeriU

    KeriU Well-Known Member

    A PP mentioned relux or maybe possible other issues. I would recommend perhaps a pediatric chiropractor visit. It did wonders for my colicky babies. I always heard it gets easier etc...honestly mine are almost 10 months and I don't know if I would necessarily say easier. Just with new age comes different challenges. When they are young the phases don't last forever because they constantly grow/develop. Some days though it seems like it goes on and on.
  9. keirin

    keirin Well-Known Member

    They are on sort of the same schedule... they're about 20-30 minutes off. Usually he gets fed first while she sleeps then she gets fed. I still haven't quite figured out how to feed them both at the same time so I like it better if they're slightly staggered.

    I'm also dealing with massive spit up in my girl twin which may be reflux... she's a happy spitter mostly, but she will throw up almost everything in her stomach after a feeding and cry for more. Our boy twin spits up but not as much and he doesn't act hungry afterwards.

    Thanks for the tips, I'm going to pick up the books recommended and try and fit some reading in. I think the thing that would help the most would be to get out of the house a little bit but I'll have to wait until my mom comes at the end of next week for that.
  10. eagleswings216

    eagleswings216 Well-Known Member

    Do they have reflux? Our boys started with symptoms around 2-3 weeks, but 6-8 weeks was when it got REALLY bad. Things got better once we found some meds that helped them , added cereal to the bottle, propped up the bed, etc.

    Another thing to consider is milk intolerance. That was also an issue for us and caused lots of crying, etc. due to upset tummies until we switched to Nutramigen formula.

    Hang in there - things WILL get better!!
  11. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    my son was the same way yours was...I'm not sure if you're BF'ing or not but if you aren't a change in formula might be in order...I tried Good Start (which we nicknamed Good Farts because it made their gas worse) but the pedi suggested a trial of soy (before going to the really expensive stuff)...Isomil made my kids new babies!!! Abby changed within 1-2 bottles and it took Ian a few days for it to kick in - but honestly it made so much difference!!!
  12. momof6

    momof6 Well-Known Member

    YES YES YES!! Chiropractics would do great! Our babies always did better after an adjustment! I didn't even think to mention that! We love our chiropractor and see him almost 100% even for things most people see an MD for! Good suggestion!
  13. Lindala25

    Lindala25 Well-Known Member

    It does get easier! I would say for me at around 10 or 11 weeks things got better. Your babies sound like they have colick too so you are at the point where it tends to be at its worst. My DS1 was really colicky and one of my twins was mildly colicky so I have some experience. I would suggest trying to hold them facing outwards, with your hand/arm across their belly, see if that helps. DS1 loved car trips so I would sometimes just put him in the car and drive around no where in particular because he would always fall asleep if I drove. My son was on zantac, honestly can't say if I think that helped or not but I was willing to try anything at that point. For my twins, I used the swing a lot. My boys really did well in the swing. They were also starting to like being under the playmat at 6 weeks. I also cut out dairy since I was breastfeeding and it seems to help my one twin. My twins weren't on the same sleeping schedules during the day and frankly it stressed me out when I did try to make it happen. It didn't seem to hurt because they both started sleeping 10-11 hrs with only one feeding starting at around 12 weeks. I did try to keep them eating at about the same time though. Hope at least one of those suggestions helps! Just tell yourself it will get better with time.
  14. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Check out Happiest Baby on the Block at your local library- it's a quick DVD. :)
  15. FGMH

    FGMH Well-Known Member

    Motion worked really well for us in these early weeks.

    I always went on a long walk with them in the stroller at least once a day - the movement lulls many babies, and if it does not the sky, clous, birds, trees waving overhead were like the best mobile for my LOs. And if it comes to the worst and they keep on crying, it really is less loud outside and thus a bit easier on your nerves. Being outside and getting some soft excercise also helped me and gave me a bit of calm and strength.

    I would also recommend experimenting again with the sling or a different kind of wrap or carrier. What I often did during "happy hours" in the evening was to settle my easier baby into the wrap (I had a classic long wrap, not easy to tie but very safe once it is tied so both hands were completely free for the other baby) and take the fussier one into my arms and walk with them and sing to them.

    GL, it does get easier!
  16. zanetaya

    zanetaya Well-Known Member

    Oh man...I soo remember being where you are!!!! I feel for you too. My girls were their worst from 6 weeks to abou 10 weeks. It seemed like they were screaming all the time....if not just one, then both of them were. I remember calling a lady from my church, out of desperation, and bawling to her and begged her to come over and help!! She came right over, but I was a complete wreck. I just didn't think I could go one more minute listening to a baby crying!!!! Thought I would lose my mind. It is hard with a single baby at this age, but 2 babies is just pure chaos. Hang in there. I promise it DOES get better. It's so hard though because it seems so far away, but believe me...my girls just turned 1 and it does pass by quickly. :)

    Here's an awesome thing....at 11 weeks my girls both started sleeping 12 hours at night!!! So look what you may have to look forward to....it gets much better and they DO become enjoyable (believe it or not). :) Twins are now the best thing that's ever happened to us, but I probably wouldn't have said this a year ago. Chin up and I agree...find some help!!! Anyone just to come over and rock a baby. Call an older lady, they love to hold babies! Call a local church if you're not part of one and ask for some help....I belong to a church and we would jump at the opportunity to help a struggling mommy. :) Hope you sleep good tonight. At least a few hours of consecutive sleep helps, huh?
  17. keirin

    keirin Well-Known Member

    My mom is coming tomorrow for 2 weeks, thank God... I really feel most of the time like I could totally handle EITHER baby alone but together they wear me down. After my mom leaves my husband has the whole month of September off work, so I'll have help until they are 14 weeks (11 weeks adjusted). I'm praying we can get them to sleep a bit more at night before my husband goes back to work because I think getting more than 3 broken up hours of sleep a night would make all the difference in the world. I also desperately need a schedule but it seems to me that most people don't get their babies on a schedule until they are a bit older. I've tried feeding mine around the same time but they are not napping at the same time... though they usually will go down at night at the same time, at least.

    This is by far the hardest thing I've ever done. :wacko:
  18. Rollergiraffe

    Rollergiraffe Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I just wanted to clarify that a schedule is a loose term.. more like a routine. I always had certain habits like feeding both babies at the same time (as in, one right after the other because I didn't tandem feed very well), and then back to bed. Start a good night/nap time routine with a little story, fan/white noise machine, curtains drawn. Start to understand their sleep cues and work on your nap schedule around that.

    Also, never compare yourself to people with single babies. Like you said, it would be so much easier to stay on top of meeting the needs of one baby. With two I think it's important to induce a little order for your own sanity more than anything! You are the biggest piece of the puzzle; if you're not doing well no one in your family is going to do well, so do whatever you need to make sure that you're coping. If that means scheduling or hiring help or getting a cleaner or taking a day off or filling your freezer with meals, then do it. It's great that your husband is going to be home for a while after your mom's visit. By 14 weeks you will have two different little beings on your hands.

    The first year is so tough, but :youcandoit:
  19. 1stbabies

    1stbabies Well-Known Member

    At that age, I used Fisher-Price Newborn Rock 'n Play Sleeper
    to rock them both at the same time. It's very light weight to be moved around the house. The angle helped one of our babies with reflux. Since one of our has reflux, I couldnot feed both at the same time to assure that I can burp the reflux baby. So I staged the feeding as you do when I was by myself, when I could.

    Another thing is that we swaddled. Mine swaddle kept getting loose so I used miracle blanket.

    Hang in there. The reflux gets better after the baby can sit up by herself. And twins are more work and more Fun = )
  20. megkc03

    megkc03 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    It gets better! :hug: Until they turn 3... Kidding! Maybe?

    Six weeks...man you are in the thick of it!!!! I hope your mom is able to give you some relief!

    Things I did from the beginning:
    -I treated them like one baby(if I could). So I fed them at the same time, burped them at the same time, changed their diapers at the same time(well...generally speaking..lol), swaddled/nap at the same time. That's not to say one would go off of that, but it was close. And as they got older, it became more set in stone. By six months, I knew nap was at 9 am, 1 pm, 4/5 pm, and bed by 7 pm. It took time to get there-but we worked our way up to it. It certainly didn't happen overnight!
    -Feeding them at the same time was big for me. I got the boppy pillow out and put that on the couch and put them in it together. Or, I put them in their carseats, or in a bouncy seat and fed them on the floor, or one in my arms and the other in the crook of my leg. Somehow I did it, I managed. And the more I did it, the easier it became.
    -When fussy-dance. It worked like a charm for my kids. And even to this day-at 2 and almost 4 years old-they still LOVE to dance! I would hold them both and just sway in the kitchen and sing to them. Or I would hold one in the bjorn and the other in my arms. Singing is big as well. And they will think it's the most amazing, beautiful sound in the world. :wub:
    -Go out. Get in the car. Go for a drive. Go for a walk. Take 15 minutes and go in a store. Do something. You will go crazy staring at four walls all day. And again-the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Baby steps. Maybe, if they are really cranky one day, pack them up in the car, go to a drive-thru of choice and savor whatever it is you get. Hopefully they fall asleep and you get five minutes of peace. :)

    But the biggest thing-it will pass. And something new will come up throwing us moms for a major loop. But again, that will pass too. And the next thing you know, you don't remember the sleepless nights. You don't remember the constant feeding. You have trouble remembering their baby features. The next thing you know-they've grown up in a blink of an eye! And you are stuck sitting there and wondering-when the heck did that happen?!?! So yes-it will pass. Usually three months is a big turning point, for me at least. Those personalities will really start shining. The smiling. Less fussy. More awake time. Sooo much to look forward to! Hang on-it's a sleep deprived, wild and crazy ride-but it may end up being the best ride you will ever take!


    And-feel free to come here to ask for help, etc. We've all been in your shoes!

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