Venting

With my first, DS4, I was pregnant and so was one of my best friends. She had twins. I was so jealous! She was freaked out. Then the babies came (2 days apart at the same hosp! How cool was that?) So we went through a lot of the same stuff, all 3 boys were in the NICU, mine was very sick and hers were very preemie. So I saw a lot of what she went through. We would call each other every day, about 4 times a day, and I would try to visit as much as possible. I remember wishing we wouldn't have gotten pregnant at the same time so I could help her. I thought I had it rough, I had severe PPD, but afte the drugs kicked in I saw what it really took to raise 2 babies. I was glad I didn't have twins! I knew (or thought I kew) how hard it was.

So mother nature has a sense of humor. This time I am the one having twins. (my friend wasn't pregant and still isn't!) Now I really know what it is like, plus my DS. INSANE! Although I have to say these babies are easier than my DS was, my DH and I are always saying how much easier, and boring, life would be if we had only had one more baby. People ask us how we do it, and DH will point to DS and say we had a practice run first. If the twins had been my first babies...... I know the PPD would have driven me insane.

 

The guilt does get better... I think you just start to realize that having more than one child brings the siblings benefits, not just sacrifices. As they get older they spend a lot of time with each other, playing, enjoying each other...so you see the happy side of having 2 babies at once...and that alleviates the guilt of having to share mommy.

I must say I had 1 demanding baby...who never napped...and then a set of twins, who once they got on a schedule around 2-3 months took 5 naps a day until 6 months...4 naps until 9 months...3 naps until 13 months...and 2 naps until 18 months...and now another singleton who thus far doesn't want me to to put her down anywhere, that there are some aspects of twins that are easier. You are forced to let them fuss more, and they become less demanding in a way. (at least that's what my experience has been.) The sleep deprivation with the twins is the real killer... that's the hardest part. The first time I got 3 straight hours of sleep with my twins was around 3 months.