Twins and the husband

QUOTE(miss_bossy18 @ Jun 26 2009, 05:57 PM) [snapback]1370426[/snapback]
sometimes i think DH still isn't all that comfortable being alone with them but here's the thing - the ONLY way he's going to learn, is to be left to do it.



DITTO!!!!!!

 

QUOTE(piccologirl @ Jun 26 2009, 07:18 PM) [snapback]1370502[/snapback]
same here. we were both awkward and new at it but he was much less scared than i was. and he was the first one to say, "you need to get out of the house, i'll take care of them."

neither of us is superparent but we're pretty equal partners in this, and i'm grateful for that. it helps ease that guilt of only having one pair of arms, because i know whoever i'm not holding is being held just as lovingly by his daddy.


I'm glad to see I'm not the only one!! My DH was better at being alone with them from day one. I was just terrified, and I couldn't handle both of them crying!! I think that it's only in the last month or so that I feel as comfortable being alone with the boys as he does. :blush:

 

dh and i were both intimidated because we had never been around children before, but he was comfortable being alone with them from the very start. he was very happy when he got to spend the first two weeks with them and bond while i was recovering from my c-section.

 

QUOTE(Nate and Jack @ Jun 29 2009, 10:34 AM) [snapback]1373504[/snapback]
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one!! My DH was better at being alone with them from day one. I was just terrified, and I couldn't handle both of them crying!! I think that it's only in the last month or so that I feel as comfortable being alone with the boys as he does. :blush:


I would have to say I'm still not as comfortable being alone as DH is! I'm fine, but it doesn't phase him at all.

 

Comfortable with the twin babies?

The way I figured it, my wife and I both are new to the whole parenting thing. Neither of us had any experience. So what?... So, uncertain or not, I was just as capable alone with the babies as my wife was, and the only way to become comfortable with handling the babies on my own? Doing it. Now, my wife and I are both equally comfortable taking care of the babies alone.

 

My husband started taking over some nights so I could get some sleep and this made him more comfortable. But, he also plays a big part in helping me when we are both home as well. Eventually he would watch them while I went grocery shopping. Maybe try the night thing at first on the weekend, and you will win some sleep out of the deal!

 

I know how you feel. My DH didn't give our babies a bath until last week and they are 6 months old today. He has only been with them by himself for about 3 hours max and when I got home he was like "why were you gone so long?" Now he was fine and so were the babies but I think it is just a little bit more overwhelming for a dad than it is a mom (in most cases). He does great with them, it just took his confidence a little bit longer to build. Now that they are easier, cry less, more interactive, he's all about daddy-baby time. I'm sure your husband will get there too. I'm glad I never pushed my husband to do something he wasn't comfortable with though because if he had had a bad experience it might have made it harder for him to try it on his own again. Also something else to think about. My Dad and my DH have admitted this to be true. When a mom thinks of having babies, she thinks of an actual baby or an infant. When dads think about babies they think about a 2 or 3 year old that can rough house, play and talk (and maybe even go to the bathroom on their own...haha!) So I guess the realization of keeping a very tiny, crying baby that has endless needs is a true wake up call. Hang in there and just give it time.

 

My DH had a hard to adjusting to being a new dad. However, he has always been willing to watch them. I was hesitant though, since he gets stressed out by their crying easily. He tends to let them cry more than I do. I have started to let him watch the babies for short periods of time. It's never been longer than a couple of hours, though. Also, I don't like to leave the babies for long periods of time since I am nursing them and they eat frequently.

 

QUOTE(CarlyLaFont @ Jun 26 2009, 05:53 PM) [snapback]1370422[/snapback]
How old were yoru twins when your husband was comfortable being alone with them? Right now mine are 12 weeks, and my husband is not comfortable being alone with both of them. I have to go back to work in two weeks, so everything I was getting done while they are in day care for 15 hours a week will now have to happen while I have them. I want to start going back to the gym at least, but find it will be impossible since he can't handle them on his own. I'm just wondering when I will get some me time when I go back to work.

Day 1! However, my dh is a sahd, so he has no other choice!

 

QUOTE(Lorem Ipsum @ Jun 29 2009, 09:26 AM) [snapback]1373679[/snapback]
Comfortable with the twin babies?

The way I figured it, my wife and I both are new to the whole parenting thing. Neither of us had any experience. So what?... So, uncertain or not, I was just as capable alone with the babies as my wife was, and the only way to become comfortable with handling the babies on my own? Doing it. Now, my wife and I are both equally comfortable taking care of the babies alone.



whoo hoo!!!!! Thank you for the inspiration!

Yesterday I left a half hour earlier (and the girls were on the verge of needing to feed) before his Mom came over.) and he did fine! yeah!

 

QUOTE(aimeethomp @ Jun 26 2009, 06:03 PM) [snapback]1370434[/snapback]
My DH was more comfortable with them than I was when they were born. But I know that is not the norm.


Yup, my husband is the stay at home dad and he is more comfortable at home with them than I am. When they were new I was terrified to be by myself and he was just fine. My point is that the person who spends more time with them will always be more comfortable. The only thing to do is spend more time with them- start with 2 hours then 4, etc.

 

My DH has been comfortable since day one. This was not the case with the older kids but I think he knows that twins take two people so he has stepped up.