Toilet training question for those w/older children

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by chicagomama, Jul 9, 2009.

  1. chicagomama

    chicagomama Well-Known Member

    Hi folks--

    I was not sure which was the most appropriate forum to post this in but thought I would start here. I have a 21 month old daughter and she will be 23 months when my twins are born. I am on the fence about toilet training now, thinking she will likely regress, but then lately I wonder if I am better off just going for it and then dealing with whatever backsliding b/c she is going to have accidents in life and I will need to deal with them. But then I wonder, is 2 months too close a span to introduce a change so big?

    Thanks--I appreciate any feedback you have!
     
  2. chicagomama

    chicagomama Well-Known Member

    I x-posted this in another forum here as well, trying to find moms in a similar boat. I have a 21 month old daughter and she will be 23 months when my twins are born. I am on the fence about toilet training now, thinking she will likely regress, but then lately I wonder if I am better off just going for it and then dealing with whatever backsliding b/c she is going to have accidents in life and I will need to deal with them. But then I wonder, is 2 months too close a span to introduce a change so big?

    Thanks--I appreciate any feedback you have!
     
  3. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    My DS was quite a bit older than your DD is when our twins were born. He was 3.5 and just showing interest in potty training right around the time they were born in January. By March he was peeing in the potty and a few weeks later, pooping also. He was on the older side, but you see that a lot with boys - so I can't offer any advice on PTing girls. He didn't regress when the babies were born - but he was a lot older that your DD is.

    I would follow your daughter's cues. Does she act interested? If she seems interested, I imagine that even if she regresses a bit -she'll come back around fairly quickly. I wouldn't stress about it - she's pretty young still - but if she acts like she is interested, it can't hurt to encourage it.

    Good luck! And congrats on your baby boys!
     
  4. MLH

    MLH Well-Known Member

    My DD was 2.5 when my twins were born. I decided to go ahead and try the summer before they were born (They were due Oct. 3rd and arrived Sept. 20th). I figured if she regressed, then I would deal with it and it might be easier to deal with then trying to fully train her with two twinfants. She did remarkably well. She had an incident that lasted maybe 2-3 weeks when the twins were about 3 months old. She ended up getting diarrhea and we gave her something to help stop it (shouldn't have!!!!) and then she got constipated and started having some BM accidents from holding it b/c it hurt to go. That was stressful, but other than those few weeks, she did awesome. I was too overwhelmed with 2 new babies that thinking back I know I wouldn't have been able to spend the time needed to train her properly in those first few months. But, she was ready and showing signs. Each kiddo is different and if your's is showing signs she's ready to try I say go for it knowing there maybe a bit of regression.
     
  5. faerieprncs

    faerieprncs Well-Known Member

    My son will be about 25 months when the girls get here and I've had the same issues/thoughts. I did finally decide to try and potty train him a couple of months ago, but he wasn't having any of it. So, I gave up and realized that pushing him before he was ready was just an invitation for disaster. I say try it and see how she does. Two months is actually a decent amount of time and may be easier to deal with a week or two of regression than doing three in diapers for a lot longer!!! Good luck!
     
  6. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I attempted pt'ing my dd (she was 2.5 when the twins were born), and she was nowhere near ready. I think it's going to depend more on your dd than on anything else. As Jori said, if she's acting interested then you might have a good shot of pt'ing her.

    I have since tried twice more to pt my dd since my twins came and no-go. My ds wasn't ready until he was 3 either. I'm going to try it again when we get back from the beach next month and hope it works, I'm tired of changing 3 butt's a day! :D

    Good luck! And congrats on the boys!
     
  7. mommylaura

    mommylaura Well-Known Member

    If your DD is ready, I would go for it. I do think there is a critical period in which they are ready and if you don't jump on it, you may have more trouble later. I can tell you that DS was definitely not ready at that age - he was 2 1/2 before he was ready. Good luck! Even if she regresses when the babies come, it won't be a total loss.
     
  8. Sofiesmom

    Sofiesmom Well-Known Member

    My oldest was 2 1/2 when the twins were born. She's extremely mellow and easy and showed no interest. So I decided to wait until the twins were 3 months old (and the worst was over) and I potty trained her over the weekend, day and night, never had any issues and no more than 10 accidents over the past 2 1/2 years! I honestly could not be bothered doing it before. The twins are now a little over 2 1/2 and I am also planning on doing it within the next 2 months ... I believe, it's more likely to go quicker when they're slightly older and less chances for going back and forth (which I honestly cannot be bothered with).
     
  9. Babies4Susan

    Babies4Susan Well-Known Member

    It depends on if your DD seems ready. 23 months is pretty young. My neighbor had a baby 2 months ago and her older DD was 26 months. She opted to wait and now is trying in earnest because she wants her DD to go to preschool in the fall. She's having mixed success so far (her DD is 28 months now).

    One of my DD's trained at 2 1/2, easily. The other didn't until 3y2m, and it was not easy...at all!
     
  10. shoudeshell

    shoudeshell Well-Known Member

    I agree with a lot of the pps. It all depends on your DD. If she's ready and seems interested, then go for it. However, if she's not interested at all, then wait till you can manage after your twins are born. Pushing PT'ing isn't ideal. When I PT'd my older kids I tried to push with one and didn't push on the other one. It was much easier not pushing! GL and congrats on your twins!
     
  11. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I agree with everyone else. If she's ready I would get it done now! If she isn't nothing you can do but wait!
     
  12. BRMommy

    BRMommy Well-Known Member

    If I were you, I'd wait until your DD is older. PT is a big transition period and I don't know if you'd want to go through the stress and frustrations associated with that so close to the due date and/or after the due date. My twins were potty trained 1 month before their baby sister arrived, but they were 3 years and 1 month old, so they were older and were really ready. They potty trained completely in 10 days and hardly had any accidents after that. By the time their sister arrived 1 month later, it was just not even an issue. I followed the methods in a toilet training book. I think it was called "Toilet Training Your Child in Less than a Day."

    But a close friend of mine tried to PT her boy at 2 1/2 year old just before his baby brother arrived. She said it was totally fine and successful at first, but he regressed so much after the baby's arrival that she had to put him back in diapers again. She said it wasn't just her son's regression, but it was also because she just didn't want to deal with the PT issue when she was so tired taking care of her newborn. It's just easier and feels more secure knowing that he's in a diaper. Of course your child has to be ready to PT, but equally important is whether YOU are ready to PT.
     
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