The Duggars are inviting you to watch

The Dugger's don't bother me, but I don't agree with all they do either. I really don't even understand why they are even on T.V. in the first place, just because they have a lot of kids??

I didn't know what blanket training was so I googled it, definitely not something I'd be into! My kids love to explore, isn't that how they learn? As nice as it would be to have my girls just do what I tell them without question, I don't think that would be helpful or fair to them. I grew up with a dad who was pretty controlling and I still have a hard time knowing who I am and what I want and feeling like I can actually accomplish it, I don't want that for my girls. (I know my dad didn't mean to be that way, it was the only way he knew how to show that he cared)

 

Wow. Reading this thread is like watching a train wreck. I'm just sitting here with my mouth open.

I'm not even sure where to begin in my disagreement...

Hypocritical to be on TV but not watch much TV? Are there seriously people who are questioning their decision to limit TV in their home? We all know that's a good decision.

I don't have cable so the only episode I've ever seen was a special a while back when they were building their house but isn't this a relatively new show (like in the last few years)? Somehow they managed to raise all their children born before that without the supposed large amounts of money that people seem to think TLC is giving them now. If people are interested in how a large family lives and they are interested in sharing their philosophy with the world, what's hypocritical about that? Are no small children allowed to be on TV because they can't give "consent"? That's going to put a damper on TV shows and movies.

So, I also looked up blanket training and, based on the observations here, I was ready for some horrible thing. Maybe it was built up too much but it doesn't seem so bad to me. So, they teach the babies to stay on blankets, entertain themselves for short periods of time, and learn self-control. That's much better than my currently crazy toddler. Anyone with a toddler as energetic and curious as Dax might utter the unforgivable "Better you than me!" when finding out someone was pregnant with twins. Whether or not they tap the baby's hand at the beginning if they stray from the blanket seems to be up for discussion but I'm not going to assume they do and I'm not going to judge them if they do. We all know that even with just two kids you can't keep your eye on everybody at once and this training keeps the little ones safe.

Their kids are responsible (probably as a product of helping with chores and siblings), aren't getting into trouble, and are polite and kind. I'm definitely not going to get judgmental on the family for that. Those kids will go out and be a light in whatever community they settle in. They seem to be a good addition to the world and not a detraction. What's wrong with having your chore be doing the laundry or making dinner? Should their children be on the Wii or texting instead?

Their "carbon footprint" is probably smaller than may people's since they share rooms, make their own clothes, use hand-me-downs, don't drive a lot, recycle, and don't use electricity hogs like television and computers. Although this is a blatant assumption (like may things in this thread ), I'll bet there are quite a few families here with just two children who have a larger carbon footprint than this entire household. It's easy to reduce your footprint by living right, even with lots of kids.

Finally, hypocritical to not show your tummy on TV? Why? I'm not sure I'd want to show my stretch marks on TV, even on a show like A Baby Story. Does that mean I'm ineligible for reality TV? Sharing the birth of their child is probably seen as sharing their joy. The 18th child is just as important as the 1st. Those kids are lucky to have such a wonderful, loving family. How many people on TS are constantly complaining because their few relatives don't help enough or don't see their babies? That's not going to be a problem in the Duggar family. They obviously think every baby is special and a blessing and they aren't going to do anything to discourage their arrival. I know plenty of families with lots of kids and the dynamic is quite different from those with few kids. When you have playmates and siblings, that "parent time" (which is a relatively new invention) isn't as important. Parents should be leaders, not friends.

Now, I would probably go crazy with 18 kids but the Duggars don't seem to be. If they want that many kids and are raising them all to be responsible adults, then so be it. That's great.

Oh, and Jim Bob Duggar was in the State House of Representatives for a few years so, obviously, the family wasn't too looked down upon by those who actually live around them.

Okay, my computer's about to die so I'll have to conclude there and don't even have time to reread my comments so, hopefully, they make sense. Everyone has a right to their opinion but some of the opinions in this thread were just plain mean with the only justification being "they asked for it".

 

QUOTE
I know there are posts by christians defending their right to live their life and raise their children the way they choose to but nowhere have I ever seen a post speaking so badly about a non christian family for not raising their family with christian morals.


Really? Are you talking about just TS or the www? Please don't make this out to be one of those "persecuted Christian" things, because it's not. These people have their fame, their family and their lives with nothing of any significance disrupting that. However, they're open to criticism much like Britney or any other public personality.

QUOTE
And that IMHO is the BIG problem most people have with this whole Duggar family. You all may not want to admit it but I think that is what it all boils down to. A family choosing to raise their children with conservative christian values in todays world. Get over it.


No, we have a problem because we think they're weird or just wrong etc.. There are many people who are raising their children with values, Christian values, and what not, all over the world. If you like to think and limit your views to within the box of a certain segment of the US of A, then by all means do so. However, please don't insult people by suggesting they are limited in their thinking so much so that their only problem could be some resentment against YOUR religion. People have opinions, get over it.

 

Ali M -- excellent post! :good:

 

QUOTE(Snittens @ Dec 10 2008, 12:03 AM) [snapback]1104850[/snapback]
:BDH:
Uh oh! Did that poor horse try to get off the blanket??!?!


:rotflmbo: :rotflmbo: :rotflmbo:

 

I have read every post in this thread and started to respond many times only to delete following the "if you can't say anything nice....."


Many comments posted are things, I am sure, that would never come out of your mouths IRL. Regardless that they put themselves out there, there is no excuse for saying things like they probably just fall out by now, and quoting about her vagina being like clowns in the car.

I would never say things like to or about another person. It is appalling.

There have also been many times the word abuse has been thrown out there. Unless you can prove abuse as set out by the laws of your country, you should be careful.

They do not appear to be breaking any of those and we could certainly argue what exactly is abuse. Each family on this site could be judged harshly by others.

I could - for example only - claim abuse is:

• women who smoke in the same house as their children
• women who put their kids in daycare 10 - 12hrs a day
• women who formula feed instead of BF
• women who extended BF
• women who yell @ their kids
• women who spank
• women who feed their children an improper diet

How many of you would fall under my abuse definition?


I think people are taking a lot of liberties with what they think the Duggars are doing with blanket training. Unless you can prove that the children spend a inordinate amount of time on it or are being physically hit(which is debatable here on any given day as to if spanking and such is OK), what is the problem?

Short periods of time where you can be assured your child with play quietly in one spot. Sounds reasonable if reasonably done. We have many women on this site who do things to ensure their children are in a safe spot for a period of time. Shall we call it abuse the people who put children in playpens, superyards, cribs, lock their children's bedroom doors when they are in it? Most could easily (and probably rightly) say it is a safety issue for them.

Some ladies should also remember that comments about Jinger and other children are exactly that - mean spirited comments about other peoples children. How mean

Then, because you all haven't heard me talk enough , we could discuss how people are disgusted by how they are supporting their family. Goodness, let us start a list of things parents should not do as careers because they are sleazy or looked down upon. I would bet we have TS parents who deal drugs, run gaming facilities, profit off the misfortune of others in many ways. No I am not claiming all of these are bad (except the drugs) or that making a living is not just making a living. Who cares if they choose to be on TV? We could bounce back up to the above abuse choices and add in a million things. How about people who show off their perfect family because of business? Kids are flaunted all over the country by their parents.

The Duggar children do not get a choice in what the parents are choosing. Who's kids do? My children do not have a real choice in how we are raising them, what religion they are being brought up in, etc, etc. That is MY choice.

:nea: I do not find it funny to make fun of others. It is just not right. No matter what they choose to do with their kids, it is their choice. We can discuss our opinions on what they choose to do, but should do it appropriately.

 

Great post Callen.

 

I love self righteousness ... it always makes me laugh. And Kelly, the horse on the blanket thing, I almost threw up at work I was laughing so hard!

Ah, I love to sit in judgement of other people ... makes me feel "Godly" ... hehe.

I think the clown car comment is one of the funniest things ever ... but hey, we've all got difference sense of humor, don't we? And I honestly don't care if others want to judge my parenting skills, or claim I'm "abusive" because I work ... that's your opinion to have. I'm just not going to curb mine because some crazy woman who will never read this board is building an army of robots. That's my opinion ... why am I not entitled to it? Oh, because it's not "nice" ... sorry, I keep forgetting. Well, I never claimed to be nice.

 

QUOTE(OneBoyOneGirl @ Dec 9 2008, 08:56 PM) [snapback]1104588[/snapback]
Like I said, they are going to outnumber us all soon I worry. BUT my kids may have a good chance at getting into Harvard or Yale if they flood the gene pool. So maybe its a wash.


Without fail, you always make me laugh.

 

QUOTE(caba @ Dec 10 2008, 03:29 PM) [snapback]1105246[/snapback]
I love self righteousness ... it always makes me laugh. And Kelly, the horse on the blanket thing, I almost threw up at work I was laughing so hard!

Ah, I love to sit in judgement of other people ... makes me feel "Godly" ... hehe.


Erica, I was thinking the same thing. Nothing makes me laugh harder than when people dont see the irony of saying "I would NEVER say XWZ b/c I am better than that" Ha! But you just did so you must have thought it right? So you are better b/c you said you would never say it?

 

QUOTE(Callen @ Dec 10 2008, 08:58 AM) [snapback]1105189[/snapback]
I have read every post in this thread and started to respond many times only to delete following the "if you can't say anything nice....."
Many comments posted are things, I am sure, that would never come out of your mouths IRL. Regardless that they put themselves out there, there is no excuse for saying things like they probably just fall out by now, and quoting about her vagina being like clowns in the car.


Oh for goodness sake.

I'm not really sure what people expect when they bring up topics like the Duggars. Since TS is such a diverse website, everyone should expect a wide range of opinions...some good, some bad, some "offensive." I thought it (bolded) was a funny comment, and yes, it actually is something I would say IRL and have, in front of friends who know me and my sense of humor. Not in front of my children, not at church, and certainly not in mixed company obviously. However, I apologize if you were offended.

I have no ill-will toward the Duggars. I just wish they'd go away. I'm tired of Good Morning America specials, TLC bits, and the near constant attention Michelle Duggar gets when she gets pregnant with the newest baby. There are plenty of women in this world who are doing far more good than she is, that's for sure. And frankly, I think the criticism leveled at them is perfectly legitimate 99.9% of the time.

As for the abuse comments...
I think it's totally subjective. I DO consider some of the things listed in your post abusive, after a certain point. Just like continuing to have children, while your older daughters raise the younger ones so you can get pregnant again. This isn't out of necessity at this point. I think it is irresponsible and neglectful, and I would say that in just about any case. Maybe they are teaching their children to be responsible, productive members of society, but I don't have to like how they're doing it.

 

Personally, I never claimed to be nice and you're right, the things I think about the Duggars are not nice at all. If they can't handle a little snark, they should get the heck off TV. They have held themselves up for judgement by putting the family's every move in front of the cameras.

It's a lot like people who post here about CIO, Spanking or whatever...they ask for opinions and then cry when anyone disagrees with them. If you don't want people to weigh in on your parenting choices then don't put them up on a public forum. It's silly to be upset that someone is being mean about it.

 

Ali and Callen great posts. I agree with you ladies 100 %. Thanks for your opinions, even though you knew they would fall on deaf ears.


Brandy

 

people, people, PEOPLE! let's look at the real issue here...! ...

her hair do.

i'm going to send TLC an email to do a "What Not To Wear" special on her.



:blbl:

 

QUOTE(a1cbrandy @ Dec 10 2008, 03:33 PM) [snapback]1105850[/snapback]
Ali and Callen great posts. I agree with you ladies 100 %. Thanks for your opinions, even though you knew they would fall on deaf ears.
Brandy


Oh Brandy, no need to be rude. It's not deaf ears, it's disagreeing ones. I heard/read everything they said. I just don't agree with them.

QUOTE(ddancerd1 @ Dec 10 2008, 03:39 PM) [snapback]1105865[/snapback]
people, people, PEOPLE! let's look at the real issue here...! ...

her hair do.

i'm going to send TLC an email to do a "What Not To Wear" special on her.



:blbl:


SERIOUSLY! You would think that TLC would take care of their own ... haha

 

QUOTE(ddancerd1 @ Dec 10 2008, 03:39 PM) [snapback]1105865[/snapback]
people, people, PEOPLE! let's look at the real issue here...! ...

her hair do.

i'm going to send TLC an email to do a "What Not To Wear" special on her.



:blbl:


:lol:

 

When I googled the blanket training thing I found one thing that said eventually the aim is to be able to sit a cookie just off the blanket and the toddler doesnt reach for it. Sorry ladies who think this is ok but I really dont agree with that.

 

OK, the conservatives will probably think I'm like the world's worst parent or whatever, but I DON'T want kids as well-behaved as the Duggars. I don't want 12-month olds that sit there quietly, 5 year-olds that happily do chores without complaint, and teens that just love taking care of the younger kids. I would rather that my teen play Wii or go out with his friends than work non-stop. Childhood is time to be a child! Not a mini-adult. Kids should have fun and be a kid, and act like one! Yes, my girls can drive me insane with their typical three-year old behavior, but they are normal. It would be abnormal if they obeyed me blindly and didn't run around like screaming banshees at times. Yes, kids should have some responsibilities and chores, but there has to be a balance.

 

QUOTE(caba @ Dec 10 2008, 02:41 PM) [snapback]1105871[/snapback]
Oh Brandy, no need to be rude. It's not deaf ears, it's disagreeing ones. I heard/read everything they said. I just don't agree with them.
SERIOUSLY! You would think that TLC would take care of their own ... haha



I think I would pay money to see Stacy and Clinton work their magic!!

 

I have finally ventured to their website and found this:

http://www.duggarfamily.com/houseguidelines.html

You know what, I expected to be put off by their list but I actually like some of what they instill here. Some of items on the list (you can guess which ones) bother me, but a lot of the others are pretty good words to live by (I agree with about 16 out of the 22). There is a lot that I don't agree with on the rest of this website, but there are good messages too.

It's just a shame that there are folks here on TS that will think that these guidelines can only be achieved by faith and religion.

 

I told myself don't, but I can't stop myself:
I watched the Duggar's once in their (I guess) first appearance when they "only" had like 15 kids. They freaked me out a bit, but it was interesting.
Now to the children raising children... I have said this before, when my youngest brother was born we were not in a good money situation and my mom chose to go back to work afternoons and evenings to help out, the responsability of the baby fell onto me (I was 10 when he was born). I took care of him for about 3 years EVERY day. I love him, he is like my first child for me and he feels this way too (I have two mommies, said when he was 3 or 4). But I think I'd rather have been tighter in cash than having to give up my childhood and early adulescence to be a mini grown up. I still resent my parents to this day that they could not find another arrangement and thought it was fine for me to run home after school and take care of a baby and toddler, give him dinner, bathe him, etc... I was not allowed to go out with friends, because we couldn't really take the baby, I was not able to do any afterschool activity because of the baby. I entered secondary education without any time to my hands and I never managed to make proper friends in school. Who wants to hang out with the poor idiot who has to babysit every day all day??
It was like being the world's youngest mom! And it sucked! By the way, we are atheists. Still somehow they managed to get the morals into me to be a constant babysitter and housekeeper to a family of 7 and do it all with a smile... oh wait, the atheism is probably why I am so darn ungrateful that I was given the chance to be a parent at such tender age!!

So... unsurprisingly I think the Duggars are doing their children very bad. Maybe not now but later once one of them hs managed to break free from the clan and sees what they missed, oh they are going to resent their parents so badly!

Just thought I'd throw in my 5 cents, since I actually have walked the mile in their kids' shoes, Millie

 

QUOTE(Callen @ Dec 10 2008, 09:58 AM) [snapback]1105189[/snapback]
I have read every post in this thread and started to respond many times only to delete following the "if you can't say anything nice....."
Many comments posted are things, I am sure, that would never come out of your mouths IRL. Regardless that they put themselves out there, there is no excuse for saying things like they probably just fall out by now, and quoting about her vagina being like clowns in the car.
Admittedly I have a warped sense of humor, but c'mon, the falling out of the vagina comment and the clown car quote were just funny (imo). :laughing:

QUOTE(caba @ Dec 10 2008, 10:29 AM) [snapback]1105246[/snapback]
I think the clown car comment is one of the funniest things ever ... but hey, we've all got difference sense of humor, don't we? And I honestly don't care if others want to judge my parenting skills, or claim I'm "abusive" because I work ... that's your opinion to have. I'm just not going to curb mine because some crazy woman who will never read this board is building an army of robots. That's my opinion ... why am I not entitled to it? Oh, because it's not "nice" ... sorry, I keep forgetting. Well, I never claimed to be nice.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's funny.

I can't be any clearer. I don't think the Duggars are abusive to their children. It's a choice of lifestyle different from my own, yes, but their decision to make. But I also don't think they merit any more attention as a family than mine or anyone else's posting here. They aren't some "perfect family" -- why do I care about them and why would I ever watch their silly show? Makes no sense to me. I don't think they deserve admiration or attention. Period.

Now I'm off to Advent services. Maybe I'll say a prayer for all the heathens who don't agree with the Duggars parenting choices. :lol:

 

QUOTE
Now I'm off to Advent services. Maybe I'll say a prayer for all the heathens who don't agree with the Duggars parenting choices.


Hehe.. :lol:

 

QUOTE(twin_trip_mommy @ Dec 9 2008, 05:59 PM) [snapback]1104501[/snapback]
This is the way their family works. They are not abusing their children. I still don't get what the big deal is. They have a large family and this is how they are able to make it work. May not be anyone elses "perfect family model" or "normal childhood" but what family is perfect and what childhood is "normal" and whose standards are you using to decide this? If you don't like the way they choose to live their lives then don't watch their show.

QUOTE(MamaKim @ Dec 9 2008, 07:08 PM) [snapback]1104605[/snapback]
Cheryl, I agree 100% with this. It isn't a big deal, imo, which is why I feel like the Duggars have already used up their 15 minutes of fame. But I have no issue with the size of their family (it is for them to decide) or how they are raising their children. I may not choose to raise my family the same way, but I also don't feel they are abusing their children or anything. By the same token, they are just a family, no better or worse than mine or yours or anyone else's.

ITA here!! I also agree with Callen's comments, but didn't want to quote such a long post

QUOTE(dollymomma @ Dec 9 2008, 08:51 PM) [snapback]1104762[/snapback]
So have the Roloff's been mentioned in this thread yet?

:laughing: No...but give it another 10 pages and maybe they will...

QUOTE(melissao @ Dec 9 2008, 09:01 PM) [snapback]1104780[/snapback]
Holy water would not be used to bless your computer. Catholics use it to bless themselves when they enter/leave the church and you can take some home with your for blessing yourself at home, but you don't use it to bless things. The church makes a different kind of Holy water called Gregorian water to bless altars, churches, etc.

Thanks for the info Melissa! I have always heard of Holy Water, but never really know what it was used for. In the LDS Church, we use consecrated (blessed) (olive) oil to bless the sick...so taht was kinda what I assumed holy water was used for...but never knew for sure.

 

Honestly, if my kids didn't care and we were going to be paid to be on TV I would do it. With that money I could send my kids to college or help them buy their future first house. As long as my family didn't care and none of us had to do anything we consider wrong or inappropriate, yes, I would be on a regular TV show to earn money. I do strongly disagree with the kids having to do so much work, though. I don't think it's fair that every day they have to do so much with a younger sibling. If you as a parent have to depend on your kids to help raise each other it is time to stop having them, IMO. However, the Duggars and most of you would say I shouldn't have had 4 kids because neither one of us graduated from college, we having no savings account and we are always behind on bills but I don't want a 14 page post about the Duggars or TS moms bashing me, either. I am trying very very hard in 2009 to not be so judgemental!!!

 

QUOTE
Now I'm off to Advent services. Maybe I'll say a prayer for all the heathens who don't agree with the Duggars parenting choices. wink.gif laugh.gif


Why maybe? Why not for sure? Souls need saving here Kim.... keep up the good fight. Please.... :girl_devil:

 

Instead of a birth show, why don't they do a show that outlines their parenting and disciplining styles? Now THAT would be a show that would likely end the fascination with them.

 

QUOTE(first_second_and_last @ Dec 11 2008, 02:41 PM) [snapback]1107297[/snapback]
Instead of a birth show, why don't they do a show that outlines their parenting and disciplining styles? Now THAT would be a show that would likely end the fascination with them.

Seriously? I think that would be a show that would give people excuse to judge them even further.

 

QUOTE(twin_trip_mommy @ Dec 11 2008, 05:51 PM) [snapback]1107598[/snapback]
Seriously? I think that would be a show that would give people excuse to judge them even further.


And once again, they chose to put themselves on national television thereby exposing themselves to judgment. I have zero sympathy for them if they do get judged because they want to be on television.

 

This is kinda weird cause Michelle Duggar wouldn't even show her bare belly during an ultrasound on tv.

 

QUOTE
Seriously? I think that would be a show that would give people excuse to judge them even further.


Ah but think of all the fun their supporters could have pointing out how wrong those people are. Everyone would be happy. :lol:

 

LOL, this is never going to end is it!!!!!!!!!!!