tell me why I should keep them separated

My husband and I were not going to separate my boys until after they were in Kindy. But, they were about to rip each other to shreds at home. They were fighting in school over the same friends and the teachers were starting to compare them a bit too much. At home, Kiefer, who was usually a very chilled out boy, started to get physical with Cameron about his things. I realized they were having to share everything both at home and at school and nothing seemed to be their own...including their friends, their teachers, and their space. They had their separate rooms since 5-1/2 months, but that wasn't enough. Seeing each other all day was not working out anymore. We switched schools so they could be in separate classes (their first preschool did not have two classes available per level). It worked perfectly! Rarely do they get physical at home anymore. Kiefer does fight with Cameron on occasion, but it does not usually involve hitting, biting, or pushing anymore (it happened during the transition as expected, but not since). Cameron is thriving now and so confident. Kiefer is too as he speaks out more in class. Cameron didn't really speak for Kiefer, but Kiefer just wouldn't talk much expecting the other students to speak out. Now that he's alone, you can't quiet him down. He's made tons of friends and has shown so much pride in the things he's accomplished.

Separating the boys was my best decision. It worked for me. In different circumstances, when twins or very attached to each other, I believe it's much better to ween them off each other when they are ready to do so. There's no reason to force them to separate if they truly aren't ready. I also do not agree with the blanket statements that twins do best separate. My boys had their own identities before separating them. They just needed a better environment to let themselves shine. For others, they need each other to help them gain that confidence. They'll separate when they need to. A book I read (I forgot the name now, but I can look it up if anyone is interested) told of a story of twins that were in school. They remained together, but their mom would ask them every year if they wanted to be in their own classes. Eventually, I think around 3rd grade? They said they wanted to try to be in their own classes. It was a friendly way of doing it. The reminder questions of being separated would let them know it's OK to have your own space. The twins made their own decision to do it and it worked very well. There was no forcing them to separate and therefore, no hard feelings. Maybe something like that would work for those whose twins are having a hard time separating.