Teacher facebook friends? it was school policy that the teachers could not 'friend' parents

Discussion in 'General' started by MNTwinSquared, May 7, 2014.

  1. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    Just curious.  I know at the preschool the kids went to, it was school policy (apparently) that the teachers could not 'friend' parents of the students there.  I know that rule was broken numerous times, but I was told that was policy. 
    Do you friend teachers or have any facebook friends who teach your kids?  What is the 'policy' in your neck of the woods?
  2. ECUBitzy

    ECUBitzy Well-Known Member

    I had the girls' (young) afternoon teacher friend me this year. It's against the school policy and, I'll admit, seeing her FB posts colored my view of her. When her classroom management was poor and my girls had a rough day I wondered how much had to do with a 12:00 check-in at a bar. I wondered how much her relationship ending (and non stop posting about it) was affecting her enthusiasm for the classroom and her patience with four year olds.

    We're no longer Facebook friends because I made a reference to it and the director addressed it.
  3. Katheros

    Katheros Well-Known Member

    I honestly have no idea if my kids' school has a policy about this.  I've never 'friended' one of their teachers on FB and I don't think I would while they have them in their class.  Maybe after the school year is over.  Maybe. It would depend on the teacher.
    I do have several friends who teach that use different names on FB so their students can't find them though.
  4. ckreh

    ckreh Well-Known Member

    My husband teaches HS and GED students.  It is his school's policy that he cannot "friend" any current students while attending within the district.  He has accepted two requests over the years from former students who went on to graduate and become productive members of society.  He also avoids these requests due to his/our privacy since we live in the district.
  5. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I'm quite certain I have no interest in knowing anything at all about what my kids' teachers do in their down time. ;)
    2 people like this.
  6. Katheros

    Katheros Well-Known Member

    Am I the only one that Facebook stalked their kids' teachers after reading this thread...?
    2 people like this.
  7. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    I'm FB friends with all of my kids' teachers...but only because I'm also a teacher at their school. So I was friends/coworkers with them before they were my kids' teachers!

    As a teacher, I ignore parent friend requests until their child is no longer a current student. :)
    1 person likes this.
  8. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    I think it is a smart policy not to be 'friends' with the child's teacher.  I've been on their pages a few times, those whose settings allow me.  I don't know how much I am seeing, but I think it is a good policy.  I don't need to know their personal stuff... now.  :)
  9. gina_leigh

    gina_leigh Well-Known Member

    As a general rule, I wouldn't friend their teachers. The exception is their pre-k teacher. We moved right after school was over. And so did she. So neither of us is in the same district anymore. We all loved her!
  10. Christel

    Christel Well-Known Member

    I've never friend requested any of my kids' teachers, but am FB friends with most of them, as well as the principals, most of their friends and most of their parents.

    It's a small town, though, and I would look like a jerk if I didn't accept them. Most intersect in my life in other ways as well (principal and friend's parent, teacher and baseball coach, etc) Plus our school is so small and our family is so big we've had every teacher at least once!
  11. mommymauro

    mommymauro Well-Known Member

    i became friends with a select few of my oldest's teachers when we MOVED from So Cal... i am not friends with any teacher my dudes have or had have... i know oldest is friends (or was at some point... he doesn't go on FB as much so i haven't stalked lately) with a counselor at his HS... she is very young and i asked if that was allowed at school and he said no but she doesn't care.... oooookay.....
  12. MrsWright

    MrsWright Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My kids are only in preschool and yes I do have their teacher on facebook, however I just added her and they go to a very conservative Christian school so I'm not worried about her:)
    I do have some daycare workers that requested me that I would like to remove
  13. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I'm a jerk.  I don't friend current coworkers, my husband's coworkers, or my children's friends or parents of friends.  I wouldn't expect to friend a teacher.  I do have two of my own teachers friended, but they were very special teachers to me, one in junior high, and one in high school. 
    1 person likes this.
  14. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I am fb friends with all three of my kids teachers.  This is the case with lots of parent/teachers at our school.  I have to be remain pretty neutral and professional on my page because of a work policy and I'm sure the school has a similar policy for their teachers.  We are all friendly and I'm sure there are some exceptions but I am very active in the school with PTO and as a room parent so we have a great relationship. 
  15. Christel

    Christel Well-Known Member

    I didn't think it makes you are jerk. You are fortunate that your circles don't overlap so that's possible.
  16. mommymauro

    mommymauro Well-Known Member

    this was my original plan... i was on FB for mostly out of town family and my TS friends... when i moved things changed... though i keep my # low it was a bummer i found myself "changing" when my new neighbors were lighting me up and asking me why i had not accepted their request <_<
  17. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My SIL teaches and her principal actually had a meeting with staff advising them not to friend parents or students on FB.  The principal thought everyone knew that but the school did run into some problems and so she strongly suggested the staff not friend parents or students.  My SIL is not on FB and has no desire to be, so she avoided that.
    I would not want to be friends with my kids teachers on FB, unless the teacher moved from the school or my kids did.  I did accept friend requests from two of their pre-k teachers but those came at the end of my kids time at the pre-k, so I was comfortable with that.  They both keep their pages very neutral and professional.
  18. Kendra

    Kendra Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I'm a teacher. I have a few parents from past jobs as friends but none from my current one. I have also had former kids add me but they usually delete me later cause I'm boring.

    It is against policy to say where I work but I havent seen a no friends policy.
  19. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    I do have many FB friends who were my kids' teachers but obviously not currently and not while they were actively teaching my children. I am just friends with them outside of school because of having worked on the PTA for so many years or they have kids who are my kids' friends.
    Bex, I also don't friend co-workers (and I let them all know I do not accept friend requests from coworkers - of course there are only four of them, lol) or my children's friends.  I am friends with some of my kids' friends parents because we are actually friends in real life. I went to Hilton Head with a whole group of friends who all met because we had sons the same age. I am also friends with former co-workers who I have continued friendships with.
    ETA: I have had some small world FB stories though. I noticed on a former TSers wall recently (she is in Cali, I am in TN), a post in one of her status updates by someone who I know through work only. I asked her about it because the guy has an unusual name and I know he lives and works in Cali in her area. Turns out he is the husband of someone she is friends with in real life! How odd.
  20. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I have a FB friend or two who teach at my kids' school, but not their current teacher (although I would if she had a FB page).  But those teachers I have been friends with since before they even started teaching there or before my kids started going to school there, so it is a different situation.  I don't think I would friend any teachers just because they were my kid's teacher.
  21. ECUBitzy

    ECUBitzy Well-Known Member

    One of our former mods is the coworker of and good friends with somebody I coached with in college. That was a Facebook "woah" moment!
  22. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Just curious why so many wouldnt be friends with their kids' teachers on FB-I didnt think it was a big deal, am I missing something??
    1 person likes this.
  23. ECUBitzy

    ECUBitzy Well-Known Member

    For the reason I experienced- we have had terrible problems with the afternoons at school. It's like night and day behavior and classroom management. I can't help but look at all of the things I know about the teacher's personal life and wonder if my kids are in the best care.

    It's no different than me complaining about how I can't get a handle on my job when my boss knows I am stressed at home and am going out on work nights. It could be that none of that is affecting my job, but the doubt is there.
  24. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I just have a personal side and a professional side and in my life, the two of them are mutually exclusive. :)
  25. Leighann

    Leighann Well-Known Member

    You are like George from Seinfeld!  "Relationship Bex and Single Bex"  :laughing:  
    To the OP: I don't know if our school has a policy or not.  We have many teachers in our very small district who are also parents, so I don't know if a policy could really be enforced.  That said I haven't searched out or friend-requested any of my girls' teachers and unless we have a friend in common its impossible to find me on fb.  
  26. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I taught for 10 years (stoopped 8 years ago when I had my twins) before staying home so that was obviously before FB was around.  But if I was still teaching now, I would not be friends with any parents of students I taught with.  I would want to keep my private life, just that, private.  I am very active in our school and I have never "friended" any of my kids teachers and I don't think I would.  The only "teachers" I am friends with on FB are the ones I used to teach with myself.
    I don't think there is any kind of policy like that here because i have seen some other parents being "friends" wiith teachers on FB.
  27. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    I am only FB friends with one of the boys' former teachers.  She taught both boys consecutive years, and I spent a lot of time in her room as room mom and volunteer, so we became friends.  We only became FB friends after they were out of the class.  
    Many schools and camps have policies about social networking, just like you are only to communicate on school email, and not use personal as a teacher, etc.  Now, I do have 4 different teachers in my phone for texting purposes, and 2 are current teacher.  One is the band teacher who comes to my house for lessons during the summer and the other is their LA teacher, who initiated the texting :)  But I am careful not to abuse it!
  28. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    a few of my friends from HS are teachers and teach at my kids school (which is also my old high school).  LIke someone mentioned we're a VERY small town - also their posts are NOT school related.
    on a similar note, our hospital has a policy of NOT checking people's social media sites/posts because they feel what we do in our personal life is just that - personal downtime.  Refreshing in this world of asking for passwords just to get interviews.
    1 person likes this.
  29. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    As a teacher, regardless of who my FB friends are, I'd never do more on FB than a family friendly, wouldn't care if the whole world saw it, kind of posts.

    People are too eager to go after teachers and other public figures for anything they perceive as controversial. I wouldn't dream of putting anything on my FB page that could be misinterpreted.
    1 person likes this.
  30. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Lesley, as a child, I nearly fainted when I saw one of my teachers at the supermarket.  Like, "She DOESN'T live at school?"  For me, I just feel like, there should be that degree of separation there.  I don't want to know what my child's teacher does in his or her personal life.  Now, if it's after my kids have had that the teacher and they never will have him or her again, I'd have no issue being FB friends.  But I would not want to feel like the teacher is in an awkward position should he or she have to discipline my kids or have to handle a problem involving my kids and feeling awkward about it because they are my friend or something.  And what if the teacher found my FB offensive..."Ewww...Luke and Sophia's mom posts way too much about TV"  :laughing:
  31. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    My mom was a teacher when I was a kid, Nancy, and she used to get that gaping look all the time. I know exactly the look. :lol:
  32. sulik110202

    sulik110202 Well-Known Member

    I do not have any of my kids teachers as FB friends and I don't think I would.  Like others have said, i like to keep the private separate from school.  My Mom was a teacher and taught for years with a lot of the teachers I had growing up.  I am friends with most of them on FB because of my mom.  I still find it weird to call them by their first names and I haven't had them as teachers in 25-30 years. 
  33. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    In my young life, Kim, I have had many shocks but that stands out for some reason.  I remember the teacher saying hi to me and my Mom and I am pretty sure I just stared at her and I kept telling my Mom, 'I just don't believe it!'  The funny thing is, we had a teacher friend growing up who taught at my elementary school and I was used to seeing him around outside of school...so I don't know why I was so shocked.
  34. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I guess I feel pretty lucky to have such a close/good relationship with my kids teachers, they text me with cute pictures or quotes from my kids during the day and I know that i can reach out to them if I need to.  As for FB I know people use if for many different reasons and I mostly do it to keep in touch with  friends near and far and family.  I see it for what it is-just a little blip in peoples lives that they want to share.
    I do see all your points and agree-to each their own.  I just wanted to make sure there wasnt some imaginary line that you dont cross with teacher/parents relationships.  Good to know :)
  35. Rollergiraffe

    Rollergiraffe Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I probably wouldn't want to be FB friends with teachers for the reasons Steph mentioned. My ex-BIL was a teacher at a Catholic school, cheated on his wife with another teacher at the school, who was also the mother of his daughter's best friend. They were all linked together on social media, and it was an UGLY affair. The girls were FBing and tweeting about it, and people nearly got fired. Obviously that was pretty exceptional, but I can see where drama could ensue to a lesser extent.

    I don't think I post anything terribly outrageous on FB, but I have had people unfriend me over whatever. I wouldn't want to jeopardize my kids relationship with their teacher over facebook. I made the mistake of telling coworkers about my blog, and now I don't blog anymore because I can't speak freely. Boundaries are important. ;)
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