Stressed out

I find myself feeling like a first time Mom again. My oldest was so easy to transition to bed, potty training and weaning that I find myself without a clue. Well somewhat anyway. Ryan and Kayla are 2yr7m and still in the same room in cribs, still using a bottle for naps and still in diapers. I feel like I have neglected their needs. I would like some advice on what ages you weaned from breast or bottle, what age did you seperate their sleeping arrangements and such. I've already read a post about getting them out of cribs and I think I'm OK for that part now but really worried about them still being on the bottle. Potty training... I think is OK too. Ryan goes every night at bath-time but Kayla has some sort of phobia about peeing without her diaper on...or even being naked. So maybe a little advice from those of you with boy/girl twins would help.

 

I had a similar problem. My first child is what I called a text-book child. He did everything by the book, and it was a breeze. He stopped taking a paci at 4 months, stopped taking a bottle at 12 months, and I forgot when he started sleeping throught the night, but he was a great baby, and toddler. He was fully potty trained (underwear at night) 2 months after he turned 2!
My daughter was a little more difficult. She took a bottle until almost 2 and never really stopped waking up at night. She will still get up and get in my bed. And she potty trained a little later, and still wore a pull up at night until almost 3.

Now, the twins are even more behind. (I honestly think its due to my lazyiness and having more children makes it more difficult to keep up with everything)
They are 26 months and although I took the bottle away around 15 months, they still used a sippy cup at night as if it were a bottle until they turned 2. I definitely think that by 2 yrs old, there should be no more bottle/pacifier. It is a personal decision when you decide to move your child to a toddler bed or regular twin size bed. I moved my first one directly to a twin bed at 15 months and he did great. The others are all in toddler beds, and they are fine too. They sleep in the same room right now, but I'll be moving soon, and honestly dont know how Im going to arrange rooms.
Im not sure about your DD and not wanting to be naked. Mine is completely opposite. She likes to be naked, and she actually initiated her own potty training. I am the one who is not consistent with it. But my son has no interest right now, and Im not forcing it.
I hope this has helped just a little. (even just to know someone else went through it too ) I know it can be hard to take things away (i.e bottle) b/c you know its comforting but you might want to switch to a sippy cup first, or you could just get child size cups and give them something to drink before they lay down. Thats what I do, b/c mine are always asking for a drink.
Good luck

 

You aren't neglecting your kids and haven't failed them. My girls didn't come out of thier cribs until they were over three. I would have loved to have kept them in them a little longer, but we reached a point where they just didn't stay in them anyway. Potty training is a huge thing when you have had a singleton that did it by a certain age. They aren't the same kid. They will do it when they are ready. It's not about when we think they should be ready. We didn't get really and truly into potty training until they were well over three. They still wear a pull up to bed. They have never gotten up dry and I'm thinking that will happen in a few months. The little buggers just refuse to work on stuff at my schedule. I would be losing the bottle. We transitioned to a cup with milk and then to a cup with water to break the habit.
There is NO manual for this stuff. You do what you feel will work, when you feel it will work. I can't even tell you how much crap I got from my mother about the twins being in diaper when they turned three. But you know what, once they were ready, they did it on thier own with a little guidance. It wasn't "work."

 

I would start giving them water instead of milk and put it in a sippy instead of a bottle. They are going to fight you harder because they are older and smarter. ONE THING AT A TIME! This one has potentially bad side effects for their teeth. They can stay in cribs for a long time yet, they can stay in diapers and still go to school OUT of them! Those are secondary IMO. I would start with the bottles and get them on sippies at least. Then you can water down the milk as you go each day or two days. When it's all water, they'll just get water. Mine still get water in bed in a sippy. They don't always drink from it, but I like to have water next to the bed when I go, so I have a hard time denying them that! We live in a VERY dry dry climate.

Pick one and move from there. You're dumping on yourself for nothing!! You'll get it figured out!

Mine are 3.5 and still share a room! I don't plan to change that till I have to. I love the relationship and bond that they have and can sleep through each other's nonsense! :hug:

Hang in there!!! YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! You are a MOM! IT's the toughest job you'll ever love!~

 

please know that what you describe does not make you a failure in any way. every family, every situation, every child is different and you should take things as they come. i agree you should definitely make changes one at a time, start with what is most important to you at this time. i also think bottles would be the easiest to transition from and start with.

my own plan with my kids is to take bottles (they now only take one before bed, which i plan on letting them have till 18 months), then potty train in the summer, then move them out of their cribs, but that is all subject to speculation and changes that take place between now and next year at this time. i plan on having them share a room until they reach kindergarten. (FWIW DH shared a room with his older sister until she was in jr high!!) you do things in the order that works for you, your family, your kids.

you know, once you make the decision, they are old enough to understand much more, and it may very well be as easy as with your oldest. good luck and keep us posted!

 

I'd concentrate on the bottle issue first. My kids are the same age as yours and we are still in cribs with crib tents (I'm not transitioning until I absolutely have to) and we aren't potty trained yet (I'm taking a low-stress approach about this one).

Anyway, the bottle issue can affect teeth, so while I don't have specific advice on how, I would try to work on that one. best wishes. i know it's easy to be stressed out, but take a deep breath and don't feel guilt. You have 3 young children! I'm totally overwhelmed w/ 2! Anyone w/ more than 2 amazes me.

 

QUOTE(2plusbgtwins @ Oct 4 2008, 03:08 PM) [snapback]1011434[/snapback]
I had a similar problem. My first child is what I called a text-book child. He did everything by the book, and it was a breeze. He stopped taking a paci at 4 months, stopped taking a bottle at 12 months, and I forgot when he started sleeping throught the night, but he was a great baby, and toddler. He was fully potty trained (underwear at night) 2 months after he turned 2!
My daughter was a little more difficult. She took a bottle until almost 2 and never really stopped waking up at night. She will still get up and get in my bed. And she potty trained a little later, and still wore a pull up at night until almost 3.

Now, the twins are even more behind. (I honestly think its due to my lazyiness and having more children makes it more difficult to keep up with everything)
They are 26 months and although I took the bottle away around 15 months, they still used a sippy cup at night as if it were a bottle until they turned 2. I definitely think that by 2 yrs old, there should be no more bottle/pacifier. It is a personal decision when you decide to move your child to a toddler bed or regular twin size bed. I moved my first one directly to a twin bed at 15 months and he did great. The others are all in toddler beds, and they are fine too. They sleep in the same room right now, but I'll be moving soon, and honestly dont know how Im going to arrange rooms.
Im not sure about your DD and not wanting to be naked. Mine is completely opposite. She likes to be naked, and she actually initiated her own potty training. I am the one who is not consistent with it. But my son has no interest right now, and Im not forcing it.
I hope this has helped just a little. (even just to know someone else went through it too ) I know it can be hard to take things away (i.e bottle) b/c you know its comforting but you might want to switch to a sippy cup first, or you could just get child size cups and give them something to drink before they lay down. Thats what I do, b/c mine are always asking for a drink.
Good luck

I guess I just have to keep reminding myself that they are seperate little people with seperate little minds. I keep trying to find the best ways to do things for them at the same time but it is always one thing or another that seems to make me want to put things off. I only know my first challenge will be getting them off of the bottles and that, they will have to do together. I guess the rest will come with time. I sure am glad I decided to post here and get some real good advice. Thank you!!

 

QUOTE(momma*nic @ Oct 4 2008, 03:12 PM) [snapback]1011439[/snapback]
You aren't neglecting your kids and haven't failed them. My girls didn't come out of thier cribs until they were over three. I would have loved to have kept them in them a little longer, but we reached a point where they just didn't stay in them anyway. Potty training is a huge thing when you have had a singleton that did it by a certain age. They aren't the same kid. They will do it when they are ready. It's not about when we think they should be ready. We didn't get really and truly into potty training until they were well over three. They still wear a pull up to bed. They have never gotten up dry and I'm thinking that will happen in a few months. The little buggers just refuse to work on stuff at my schedule. I would be losing the bottle. We transitioned to a cup with milk and then to a cup with water to break the habit.
There is NO manual for this stuff. You do what you feel will work, when you feel it will work. I can't even tell you how much crap I got from my mother about the twins being in diaper when they turned three. But you know what, once they were ready, they did it on thier own with a little guidance. It wasn't "work."

A sippy cup will be a good idea to try I think, just to ease the transition. Thank you for the vote of confidence I really appreciae the encouragement.

 

QUOTE(~* dfaut *~ @ Oct 4 2008, 03:19 PM) [snapback]1011456[/snapback]
I would start giving them water instead of milk and put it in a sippy instead of a bottle. They are going to fight you harder because they are older and smarter. ONE THING AT A TIME! This one has potentially bad side effects for their teeth. They can stay in cribs for a long time yet, they can stay in diapers and still go to school OUT of them! Those are secondary IMO. I would start with the bottles and get them on sippies at least. Then you can water down the milk as you go each day or two days. When it's all water, they'll just get water. Mine still get water in bed in a sippy. They don't always drink from it, but I like to have water next to the bed when I go, so I have a hard time denying them that! We live in a VERY dry dry climate.

Pick one and move from there. You're dumping on yourself for nothing!! You'll get it figured out!

Mine are 3.5 and still share a room! I don't plan to change that till I have to. I love the relationship and bond that they have and can sleep through each other's nonsense! :hug:

Hang in there!!! YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! You are a MOM! IT's the toughest job you'll ever love!~


Thanks so much for the encouragement. I will do the sippy thing and very soon. I know the two of them will be fighting every step of the way but you are right it is needed to help the development of their little pearly whites. I guess I was feeling a little overwhelmed being that there is so much to do and with both at the same time. I will have to do the bottles at the same time but I'm sure they will be telling me when they are ready for the rest. I now have at least a bit of a plan. Thanks.