Staying calm

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by rosserj, Jan 27, 2014.

  1. rosserj

    rosserj Active Member

    I'm looking for some tips about how to stay calm in the face of disobedience. I had been relatively good at this, however after returning to work after a 3 week break over Christmas I end up shouting at my kids when I should be handling the situation in a more calm manner. I'm a bit stressed with work plus my youngest wakes every 2nd or 3rd night and I know I have trouble staying calm when tired. Any tips you might use would be grateful received
  2. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I talk through my calming down process out loud. Ex "I'm really frustrated right now! I'm closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I need a minute. I'm going to my room for a minute to calm down. When I come back we'll talk." I find it serves two purposes - 1) it keeps me from yelling and reminds me what I need to do to stay in control and 2) it models the behavior I want my kids to use when they're angry.
    3 people like this.
  3. mom2gc

    mom2gc Well-Known Member

    [SIZE=medium]You are not alone.  I also work and at the moment the pressure at work and the start of a new school for my kids are getting to me.  [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=medium]They are also pushing the boundaries harder than ever.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=medium]I have found putting myself in “time out” helps.  I just step away from the situation and calm down in another room.  It is very hard to always find the time when I get home to just focus on them, but even 15minutes of special time helps.  They seem less desperate for my attention.  Often they misbehave to get attention even if it is negative.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=medium]Hang in there.[/SIZE]
  4. rosserj

    rosserj Active Member

    Thanks both this really helps. I am going to try the talking aloud, that will definitely remind me about what I need to do
  5. 1stbabies

    1stbabies Well-Known Member

    Besides the above, I also mention to the kids in calm and firm tone that "Mommy is tired (or sleepy if it's bed time ) ... xyz..."  or "I'm about to get mad ... " if I had requested multiple times etc... Our 3.5 yr olds seem to comply when I said that ... I don't say that too often, only when I'm really worned out and about to loose it ... that also remind myself to stay calm too.
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