"Speaking of Old Wives Tales"

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Help' started by dutree123, Feb 7, 2009.

  1. dutree123

    dutree123 Well-Known Member

    I am 4.5 months now. My dr. says 18 wks based on last period-I say 17 wks based on the day I conceived-but in any event...Because I turn 37 this month and this is my 1st pregnancy, I am so excited. I often feel tempted to purchase items for the babies but there are some people who say things like "It's bad luck to buy stuff for the babies early in pregnancy." I am so tired of folks scaring the daylights out of me. If it's not one scary story it's another. Don't get me wrong...I appreciate the helpful info. that helps me to be careful such as what not to eat or the medications that are safe-things like,not carrying heavy things-but if I purchase things for my babies.....where is the harm? Some say that it would be more difficult if "God forbid" some mishap was to happen-but my thing is I would be devastated with/without the items purchased.So here's the real deal..............I get a rush from getting a good bargain.......In Babies R Us, ther is this Natural Martine Collection, which includes a Lifetime Crib which converts into a daybed or twinbed (399.99),there is the combo unit..which is the dresser that has a built in changing station,a place for the wipes and lotion,diapers,clothing (349.99)......then there is the 5 dresser chest (319.99)...so that's 3 pieces that will cost well over $1000.00 after taxes are added. Well I found the very same set..3 pieces..for $300.00 (In a consignment store, in excellent condition)(these kinds of things go really fast and there is no guarantee that a deal like that would come around again)and I was hesitant to purchase it because of "The Old Wives Tale" :mad: Ladies..What would have you done? What do you think of the "Old Wives Tales"? When did you start purchasing items for your babies? By the way I will be having 2 baby showers..that way if someone really wanted to purchase a 399.99 crib, instead of purchasing 2 they can just buy one.I know that times are tight and would not expect anyone to buy anything so expensive. The Graco double stroller and 2 Graco carseats will be on the registry. Thanks in advance for your feedback.
     
  2. dawnmj

    dawnmj Well-Known Member

    We started buying big stuff for our girls after finding out what we were having. However I know my mom started buying stuff as soon as we passed our 1st trimester. I think with everything and everyone it is different.
     
  3. lilalyshia

    lilalyshia Well-Known Member

    Me personally havent bought anything except for the stroller which i actually got today. I am going to wait a little bit longer and im 27 weeks. My friend did the same thing, and good thing she did. She lost one twin at 24 weeks and her other one is still in nicu as 3 days ago was her actual due date
     
  4. rosenschaf

    rosenschaf Well-Known Member

    In my husband's family, it's tradition not to bring anything into the house until after the babies are born. So we actually found a store that will keep everything we ordered (cribs, matresses, stroller, car seat) until then. While I'll be in the hospital, our families will come and help put everything together. His grandmother had many miscarriages, so I can understand holding off. We waited quite a bit to make our purchases (until 28 weeks or so). I'm glad to know that we have things, but I'm also okay with not changing everything until after the babies are here safely...
     
  5. doublej's

    doublej's Well-Known Member

    I know it's hard not to but I have not purchased anything except for pampers. I have friends constantly calling and telling me that they have shopped for them already! My babyshower is March 29th so I am kinda making that my official time!! But yes it's something that we don't want to believe in but I think that it's something that just won't allow us to go against the "old wives tale"!!
     
  6. Momof2wonders

    Momof2wonders Well-Known Member

    No, i don't take the "old wives tales" into the mix, had i been in your shoes and seen that great deal, i would definitely have gone for it. I know what you mean about people just wanting to tell you the scary or gory bits about pregnancy, it is just so inconsiderate, everyone is different and scaring pregnant women about everything that can go wrong is just rude and insensitive, unless you are that woman's doctor IMHO.
    Go with the flow and do what you feel is right for you :hug:
     
  7. heathertwins

    heathertwins Well-Known Member

    I actually purchased a ton of baby and maternity stuff even BEFORE I was even PG !!! I was moving from the U.S. to Australia where everything is more expensive here. I figured that if I didn't use it, I knew it would go to someone who needed it. I met a twin mom who went at 26 weeks so I was determined to have EVERYTHING ready by 26 weeks including washing all baby clothes, and even down to buying batteries. When you can save that much money by buying on sale WHY NOT ?? It really is hard towards the end of the pg for some twin moms since you can be on bedrest, be too sore to walk too far, etc. so it is harder to find the good deals. I felt so much more relaxed when everything was done and ready for the girls to arrive. In the final months I spent reading some great books that were recommended on here -- for soothing and for getting them into some good sleep routines. I found this was great use of time when I was more bed or couch bound. I always saw the baby stuff as a good luck sign.

    Heather
     
  8. TAHOEMOM

    TAHOEMOM Member

    I have two children already my son is 8 and my daughter is 10 . I am 25 weeks with boy/girl twins and am feeling good and my other children both went well. I am going to be 34 in a few weeks . In the beginning of my twin pregnancy I was spotting so we went to the doctor fairly early . The doctor did an internal u/s and found a baby with a heartbeat and then found another baby . The baby appeared to be much smaller than the first and there was not a visible heartbeat . The Dr. told us it was natural for my body to miscarry a fetus due to a possible birth defect and the other baby would probably be fine . I was scheduled to due a follow up app. to ensure that the second baby was dissolving and the first baby was okay .

    I went home and surfed the internet for hours and found VTS vanishing twin syndrome . It is very common and a lot of women never even know that two fetuses ever existed . I anxiously waited and worried for my follow up app. I accepted the fact that I had lost one said my peace and tried to move forward and stay calm and positive for the living twin .

    We went in for the follow up appointment and the second baby Twin B my little girl was alive ! She was still smaller than my boy Twin A . We went to the doctor every other week for a couple weeks and they did an u/s everytime . Eventually my little trooper Twin B was within 3% of the size of my Twin A .

    I made it past the first tri-mester and still always felt like I would get bad news . We took my husband's mother with us to the 3D u/s and the twins looked great . It was about 16 weeks into my pregnancy and the tech. predicted a boy/girl . My Husband's mother wouldn't believe her prediction . She said it was still to early and I shouldn't get over excited because my Sister in Law miscarried at 5 months ???? I don't know why she said this to me . It bothered me a lot . I am always worried and it is for no good reason .

    Sorry about the long drawn out story but the fact of the matter is It is in God's hands . You do what you feel is right for you and don't worry about what people say . It only causes unecessary stress .
     
  9. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Personally, especially if I find a deal, I would get it! My mom did that with my first, told me a story about her best friend who had the whole nursery set up, and her baby was born at term, stillborn. She had to clean up all the baby stuff when she got home from the hospital.

    Yes it's awful, I can't imagine dealing with that, but how often does that happen? I mean really, all the people I know that's the only person I've heard of that happening to.

    So we started preparing for all our kids from early on, even after 2 miscarriages I still believe each and every baby needs to be celebrated, for as long as they are with us! Be it a week, or 9 months and then for life! :wub:
     
  10. nicinthebu

    nicinthebu Well-Known Member

    I bought stuff once I passed the 1st trimester. I began getting things organized and ready and got a lot of good deals. I am glad I did b/c I am too tired to do much of anything now and once the babies are here I know I'm not going to have time- plus I will not want to mess with all that when I can be spending time with my precious lil ones.

    Congrats on your pregnancy and best wishes!
     
  11. oh-baby-baby

    oh-baby-baby Well-Known Member

    My mother always told me not to get anything until I was 5 months...
    But I had to consider that it was not one child this time, but two...
    I would pick up small items like tees, onesies (speaking of which, I need socks!) but I didn't get anything major jil about a couple of weeks ago (16weeks) after I found out that they were both girls...
     
  12. dutree123

    dutree123 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(dawnmj @ Feb 7 2009, 06:59 PM) [snapback]1181020[/snapback]
    We started buying big stuff for our girls after finding out what we were having. However I know my mom started buying stuff as soon as we passed our 1st trimester. I think with everything and everyone it is different.

    True...true.I find out the sexes on Tuesday. I have already purchased 40 onesies. 20 for girl & 20 for boy! :) And I don't know what the all in one thingy with the little ears on the hood winter thing is called- but I purchased 3 in neutral colors and there was one so adorable in pink w/black ears on the hood that I purchased. I will let you ladies know what the sexex are on Tues.-and my thing is this....If they end up being the same sex...I actually have a friend who is expecting twin girls and there is a friend who is expecting a boy- but I tell you this...for around $60.00 I purchased all those clothes.Brands like Ralph Lauren, Baby Dior, Bon Bebe...I just could not contain myself for that price. I also purchased a Graco Carseat for (get this) $7 bucks at Babys R Us that same seat goes for $139.99.
     
  13. dutree123

    dutree123 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(rar @ Feb 7 2009, 07:30 PM) [snapback]1181046[/snapback]
    In my husband's family, it's tradition not to bring anything into the house until after the babies are born. So we actually found a store that will keep everything we ordered (cribs, matresses, stroller, car seat) until then. While I'll be in the hospital, our families will come and help put everything together. His grandmother had many miscarriages, so I can understand holding off. We waited quite a bit to make our purchases (until 28 weeks or so). I'm glad to know that we have things, but I'm also okay with not changing everything until after the babies are here safely...

    My husband and I will be moving in his aunt's home this month and so today I will be picking up that crib set, but it will actually be sitting in storage until we move in our new home. I plan... " If the lord say's the same.." to set things up for the baby at the end of 7mths. or in my 8th month if I be feeling fine ( It all depends on how I am feeling ) I do not have family in the state that I live in-my husband does...but if they were to offer that kind of help it would be fine, but I am not going to ask.
     
  14. dutree123

    dutree123 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(doublej @ Feb 7 2009, 07:51 PM) [snapback]1181066[/snapback]
    I know it's hard not to but I have not purchased anything except for pampers. I have friends constantly calling and telling me that they have shopped for them already! My babyshower is March 29th so I am kinda making that my official time!! But yes it's something that we don't want to believe in but I think that it's something that just won't allow us to go against the "old wives tale"!!

    Back then, "the old wives" did'nt have the technology and medicines that we have now. :umm:
     
  15. dutree123

    dutree123 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Momof2wonders @ Feb 7 2009, 07:58 PM) [snapback]1181075[/snapback]
    No, i don't take the "old wives tales" into the mix, had i been in your shoes and seen that great deal, i would definitely have gone for it. I know what you mean about people just wanting to tell you the scary or gory bits about pregnancy, it is just so inconsiderate, everyone is different and scaring pregnant women about everything that can go wrong is just rude and insensitive, unless you are that woman's doctor IMHO.
    Go with the flow and do what you feel is right for you :hug:

    Girlfriend, now you know I jumped on that deal! :cool: What really happened is when I actually saw the set there was already a young lady and her mother with the tags in their hands headed to the front to purchase it. I asked them who were they purchasing it for. She told me that she was going to purchase it for a friend. ( That was a very cool friend to purchase that beautiful set as a gift! ) So I continued to shop but saying in my mind " If only I would have seen it first" ( because I must to have missed being the 1st to get there by 5 min.) So I said this prayer ( I kid you not) "Lord if this set is meant for me..cause them to change their minds" And then I thought about "The Old Wives Tale" and prayed..."but if it is not meant for me to get that set..let me get over it." So I watched them like a hawk in secret as I shopped.They had not purchased it , they had cell phone to ear...and after about 15 min. of phone play...I saw the mother headed back in the direction of the furniture. Sure enough, she placed the tags back on the furniture. You would have thought that I was a pregnant linebacker the way I ran to retrieve those tags. I found them and asked why did they change their minds about the purchase.And she said that they could not get in touch with her friend nor the other person that they intended to purchase it for. :cool: Within minutes there was a crowd of mothers heaped around the set being told by the salesmen that the furniture had been purchased. :D
     
  16. stephi5882

    stephi5882 Member

    I am also 17 weeks, and I have been buying stuff from the beginning. My MD has had me work part-time due to the type of job I have, so we are not getting as much income as we are used to. So i try and buy something, no matter how small once a week. That way the expence of the babies won't be so hard once they are here. I also figure, even though we all hope for the best pregnancy, no one ever knows if and when you may have to go on bedrest, which will make purchasing things a little more tricky.
     
  17. dutree123

    dutree123 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(heathertwins @ Feb 7 2009, 08:00 PM) [snapback]1181076[/snapback]
    I actually purchased a ton of baby and maternity stuff even BEFORE I was even PG !!! I was moving from the U.S. to Australia where everything is more expensive here. I figured that if I didn't use it, I knew it would go to someone who needed it. I met a twin mom who went at 26 weeks so I was determined to have EVERYTHING ready by 26 weeks including washing all baby clothes, and even down to buying batteries. When you can save that much money by buying on sale WHY NOT ?? It really is hard towards the end of the pg for some twin moms since you can be on bedrest, be too sore to walk too far, etc. so it is harder to find the good deals. I felt so much more relaxed when everything was done and ready for the girls to arrive. In the final months I spent reading some great books that were recommended on here -- for soothing and for getting them into some good sleep routines. I found this was great use of time when I was more bed or couch bound. I always saw the baby stuff as a good luck sign.

    Heather

    Now that's what I'm talking about Heather! That's the whole idea! In my third tri. I want to be relaxing and reading books and focused on my breathing techniques for delivery.I don't want to feel miserable from wobbling into stores trying to get things together at the last minute. And I also don't want to be worried about that stuff after delivery when I am suppose to be healing.(Some people end up hemmorrhaging) (I know I butchered that word-but you know what I mean) lAnd from that kind of stress...who knows if that's what may cause complications-by stressing and anxiety? I am a student and my husband is the only bread winner for our home. I have to take some stress off of him-when I get good bargains. If he's strss-free that makes a better me. ;)
     
  18. dutree123

    dutree123 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(TAHOEMOM @ Feb 7 2009, 08:07 PM) [snapback]1181086[/snapback]
    I have two children already my son is 8 and my daughter is 10 . I am 25 weeks with boy/girl twins and am feeling good and my other children both went well. I am going to be 34 in a few weeks . In the beginning of my twin pregnancy I was spotting so we went to the doctor fairly early . The doctor did an internal u/s and found a baby with a heartbeat and then found another baby . The baby appeared to be much smaller than the first and there was not a visible heartbeat . The Dr. told us it was natural for my body to miscarry a fetus due to a possible birth defect and the other baby would probably be fine . I was scheduled to due a follow up app. to ensure that the second baby was dissolving and the first baby was okay .

    I went home and surfed the internet for hours and found VTS vanishing twin syndrome . It is very common and a lot of women never even know that two fetuses ever existed . I anxiously waited and worried for my follow up app. I accepted the fact that I had lost one said my peace and tried to move forward and stay calm and positive for the living twin .

    We went in for the follow up appointment and the second baby Twin B my little girl was alive ! She was still smaller than my boy Twin A . We went to the doctor every other week for a couple weeks and they did an u/s everytime . Eventually my little trooper Twin B was within 3% of the size of my Twin A .

    I made it past the first tri-mester and still always felt like I would get bad news . We took my husband's mother with us to the 3D u/s and the twins looked great . It was about 16 weeks into my pregnancy and the tech. predicted a boy/girl . My Husband's mother wouldn't believe her prediction . She said it was still to early and I shouldn't get over excited because my Sister in Law miscarried at 5 months ???? I don't know why she said this to me . It bothered me a lot . I am always worried and it is for no good reason .

    Sorry about the long drawn out story but the fact of the matter is It is in God's hands . You do what you feel is right for you and don't worry about what people say . It only causes unecessary stress .


    Thanks for your story. Now see your mother-n- law.... <_< I wanted to say why was she in tow in the 1st place with her doubts.But I understand she may have wanted to protect you from pain. I know some people like her and I must admit..my mother can tend to be an over-protective worrier. It is because they love us-but trust me....I leave my mother in the dark about alot of things until good news come my way them I shed that light to her, and that's how the support that I really need shows up in her. I am a perspective person. I always look for the rainbow in everything.And if there has to be some mishap.I still find the perspective "God knows best-and there is a reason for everything" I'll tell you about a true story....there was a woman who went to the dr. one day and her baby did not have a heartbeat-after a couple of wks. of not hearing a heartbeat the dr. wanted to take the child so that her life would not be in jeapordy ( long story short) don't you know that that lady and her husband went home and had some positive people to pray and believe with her for god's will and when she went back to the dr. there was a heartbeat! They actually showed her little girl playing. That was on the 700 club if you want to research. I can not wait to hear your awesome story of how your precious babies survived-and you "your little girl" will be an inspiration to other mothers who feel like they are in hopeless situations.
     
  19. dutree123

    dutree123 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Danibell @ Feb 7 2009, 10:13 PM) [snapback]1181208[/snapback]
    Personally, especially if I find a deal, I would get it! My mom did that with my first, told me a story about her best friend who had the whole nursery set up, and her baby was born at term, stillborn. She had to clean up all the baby stuff when she got home from the hospital.

    Yes it's awful, I can't imagine dealing with that, but how often does that happen? I mean really, all the people I know that's the only person I've heard of that happening to.

    So we started preparing for all our kids from early on, even after 2 miscarriages I still believe each and every baby needs to be celebrated, for as long as they are with us! Be it a week, or 9 months and then for life! :wub:

    Yes... the least celebrate them while there is a heartbeat inside.And about the friend who child was born still-born at full term.....was she suppose to wait until she came from home to set her nursey up when she was suppose to be healing? Even if her nursey was not set up she would have still felt that devastation...It may be possible that cleaning her nursery helped her to grieve and come to closure.
     
  20. dutree123

    dutree123 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(nicinthebu @ Feb 8 2009, 01:41 AM) [snapback]1181401[/snapback]
    I bought stuff once I passed the 1st trimester. I began getting things organized and ready and got a lot of good deals. I am glad I did b/c I am too tired to do much of anything now and once the babies are here I know I'm not going to have time- plus I will not want to mess with all that when I can be spending time with my precious lil ones.

    Congrats on your pregnancy and best wishes!

    Thanks..and Congrats on your boy/girl that's what I am expecting to hear on Tues. :p
     
  21. dutree123

    dutree123 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(stephi @ Feb 8 2009, 10:47 AM) [snapback]1181634[/snapback]
    I am also 17 weeks, and I have been buying stuff from the beginning. My MD has had me work part-time due to the type of job I have, so we are not getting as much income as we are used to. So i try and buy something, no matter how small once a week. That way the expence of the babies won't be so hard once they are here. I also figure, even though we all hope for the best pregnancy, no one ever knows if and when you may have to go on bedrest, which will make purchasing things a little more tricky.

    Yes.
     
  22. lilymoo

    lilymoo Active Member

    It is very hard not to buy things for your little one, especially this is your first baby! However, if you wait until later, you might find more stuff you like on sale. The old wife's tale thing I don' tknow how much i would believe in that.
     
  23. dutree123

    dutree123 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(lilymoo @ Feb 8 2009, 12:55 PM) [snapback]1181750[/snapback]
    It is very hard not to buy things for your little one, especially this is your first baby! However, if you wait until later, you might find more stuff you like on sale. The old wife's tale thing I don' tknow how much i would believe in that.

    I only buy when I really save. I have a minister in my family & before I purchased that big item...I called "the minister" and asked was there anything in the bible in reference to the "old wives tale" and I was told no.So because my faith in God and I believe that he is in control of everything that happens in my life...that was my communication to him that my faith is based in him. However if some people feel safe with heeding to "the old wives tale" I do not bash them...everyone has their own level of faith.We all know what we can handle. At first this year I tried to continue pursueing my degree in Nursing taking 3 classes one of which was organic chemistry-and on top of that I was also pursuing a certification course in Medical Billing and Coding. I take into consideration the advice that is given to me and I search within myself to see if the advice applies-Well...I ended up dropping from the organic chem. course because I felt myself becoming stressed and overwhelmed-that was my mind spirt and body telling me that my load was too heavy.Now I feel much better.....putting the health of the babies 1st and farmost and making sure that my physical and mental health is priority.
     
  24. Bestian

    Bestian Member

    Just whatever you feel you need. It's only your decision.
     
  25. BillShiphr

    BillShiphr Well-Known Member

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