Soda being served to your kids when you aren't there...

Ok, so my kids don't have the greatest diet, but they haven't ever had soda pop (well, until recently!). I gave them a Izze Soda once and that's all natural without HFCS. So, I take Ali to her first party without Martin and it's a "drop-off" party. When I go pick her up, I notice there are 7 up bottles on the counter. :faint:

I ask Alison what she had to drink at the party and she didn't even know! She said "bubbly water or bubbly lemonade" or something to that effect. I told her she had 7 Up and that's soda pop. She was like "mmmm, it was good". Then Martin chimes in "That's not the first time she's had it, Riley gave it to her before! Remember Ali? She gave you Coke!" (Riley is Bff's older sister - 8yrs.) Now I'm really dying! :faint: It should be noted that I didn't react in front of the kids at all! I was very calm, cool and collect, but secretly seething inside!

Ok, first of all, I know that I can't protect them from it forever and I tell them it's not good for them etc. etc. and that they'll get to have some, but they have enough other sugary treats in life and that's just not something they need to have. How do I handle this?!

The girl that gave her the Coke, was not supposed to be having it either. That means she was being sneaky and that sends the wrong message to my kid as well!! :grr: This older kid is constantly teaching my kids all kinds of bad stuff and it's driving me crazy.

Do I tell the Mom that I would like it if Ali and Martin didn't have soda while they are there. Or do I tell her about Riley sneaking it and giving it to her?

I mean, part of me is upset because that's sorta a right of passage that you would like to be there for with your kids. The other part is - WHO ASSUMES it's OK for my 5 yr. old to have SODA? :gah:

 

I would talk to the Mom and tell her about the 8 yr old as well as your rules for soda. If my kids were having drinks they weren't supposed to I would want to know.

 

Honestly, I wouldn't get worked up over it. I go for the everything in moderation style. I clearly remember growing about one of our friends who wasn't allowed Kool-aid at home. Or, if his mom made it, she made it unsweetened. When he got to our house, he literally drank the whole pitcher because it was the forbidden fruit. So, my kids having a soda at a friends house wouldn't bother me. Mine don't get soda at home. If a kids meal at a restaurant comes with soda, we'll let them choose and Timothy will usually get root beer. Sarah honestly hates the taste of it and prefers milk or water.

Once yours get into kindergarten you might get really shocked. Parents are supposed to send in "healthy snacks". Today the kids had 2 graham crackers glued together with pink icing. Yesterday the kids had chocolate and vanilla swirl snack cake. They have chocolate pudding for snack. Every holiday they come home with a bag of candy. Often they come home with gum and suckers that they got for something. The PTO and their teachers are continually bribing the kids with popcorn and lemonade parties. My kids have been exposed to a whole host of junk food that I hadn't planned on them coming into contact with. We just talk about a little once and a while is fine, but it wouldn't be healthy to have that all the time.

I would just thank your kids for being honest and telling you. I would remind them that that is a very special treat food because it's not healthy and you can't have it all the time and stay healthy. I would leave at that and move on.

Marissa

 

The sneakiness of the 8 year old would bug me more than my kids being served soda pop. We don't give our kids pop at home, but we don't mind if they get it as a treat at a party. Although usually at age 5 the drink served at a party would be punch or juice or water, don't ya think? LOL

I agree with Marrisa, thank your kids for telling you and hope they can follow your example. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

It would bug me only bc the 8 yr old was being sneaky. My kids know I don't like them drinking soday. Sprite and Root beer are treats if they get them. What does bug me is when there is nothing else offered for the kids to drink. My 10 yr old went to a bday party and said she was so thirsty (it was a roller skating party) and all they had was Pepsi, Dr. Pepper or Orange fanta to drink. She said none of that quenched her thirst. She said she asked the mom for a bottle of water but the mom gave her pepsi. My kids have never had Pepsi before...so I was more ticked off that she didn't have a healthier option. I know everyone is not gonna adhere to my rules but there should be healthy options imo at a party. Then I can only hope I taught them to make the right choice!

 

It would bother me and I would probably say something to the mother (both about the sneaky 8 year old and your soda rules). My kids have had soda as a rare treat. But I want the person deciding when the treat is happening to be me or my husband. I find it unusual that someone would serve soda at a 5 year olds party. We served juice boxes and water.

 

I wouldn't be upset if someone gave my kids soda at a birthday party. It's still not usually available at their age, but they've had it a few times. They know (even at age 4) that it's mostly sugar and only for a treat (just like birthday cake!).

The 8yo is a different issue because she knew they weren't supposed to have it and she was being sneaky. I'd mention it to her mom.

 

I didn't make a big deal out of it with the kids at all or thank them for telling me, because I wanted them to assume this was just normal conversation. Nothing out of the ordinary, right?!

I will talk to my friend whose 8 yr. old gave my DD coke and let her know because I know that she's only allowed Sprite or 7UP type stuff when she gets to have soda.

 

Hmmm I really don't want to be one of the people on here that come off as rude, but wow!! If I got mad everytime someone gave my child a drink or food I would rather them not have I would be mad a LOT!!! I guess maybe I am from a different culture, but I can't see how you made it this long with out them drinking soda!! More power to you though I wish I could have kept it away from my children more, but I really don't think it is something you should worry about for more than about 30 seconds.

 

No sweat AlabamaMom. I guess they haven't had it because I don't drink it and when hubby does it's diet and with caffeine. It's not really a big thing for us, but it's something that I see as not having any food value and we need MORE food value. Like I said above, I don't kid myself that they are going to have it, but I also would like to be in on the decision at 'just' 5 yrs. old.

 

Honestly, it doesn't surprise me.

Pop and/or juice are served at most birthdays my 5 kids have been too. They are both bad for you.


I wouldn't make a big deal out of it and I am quite anal about healthy foods for my children. Unless they are going to parties all the time, the amount they will get will be little.

 

Personally, I wouldn't serve it at my 5 year olds' birthday party but if it happened to be served, I wouldn't make a big deal about it, either.

 

If it makes you feel any better my MIL took the kids out for dinner and they came home reporting that the 3 boys had DIET COKE!! I about hit the ceiling on that one. I mean soda is bad enough, but to pump them full of artificial sweetners?!? My MIL can't even use the excuse she didn't know because we went through this once before when DD was little and she gave her Mountain Dew! DD knows she is allowed to have Sprite when she is out with MIL and that is what she had.

By the sounds of the confusion from your DD, maybe they had made a bubbly fruit punch for the party. I would let that slide and maybe make a mental note to check with the next party hostess while RSVPing about having a healthy drink option. Definitely report the sneaking 8yo though. What will they do when it is alcohol she is sneaking instead of Coke?

 

Jenn, exactly! I just filed it away in my head and will keep it in mind!

I'm going to let the Mom of the 8 yr. old know for sure. She's a friend of mine and she needs to know.

Thanks for the replies ladies! I guess more than anything, I was surprised that it starts at this age. I didn't know when it would happen, but I knew it would! I don't want it to be the forbidden fruit that makes them go out of their way for it, but it's not something to be taken lightly IMO! They need to be more aware of what's going into their tummies! They need to get more NUTRITION before they have soda - I guess that's my main issue.

 

I agree with this. :good:


I would never serve soda at a 5 year olds party. I know we served soda this year at my DD's 9th bday party and last years at 8 too. ardon: But it's mostly Sprite/rootbeer served with pizza for lunch/dinner. But we also had water here for the kids to drink if they wanted to.


All 3 of my kids do sometimes get Sprite to drink when we go out to eat, but they don't drink soda (other than my oldest DD, she will occasionally have one at home) at home.

 

I am surprised by it. Especially in this day and age when everything is researched ad nauseum. I cant imagine serving soda to 5 year olds and not getting the parents consent. I would be :angry: Leah gets Sprite when we go out as a treat. But nothing else. Now they have all had a sip here and there of my diet soda. But I am their parent and I like Maureen want to be the one who has the say over when they get something special. We do juice boxes and little bottles of water at our kids parties and will for a long time.

 

I don't have a problem with soda at parties. My boys are even allowed a soda when we go out. And most times, when given a choice, they will choose milk or water. By not making it a big deal, they don't need to go sneaking soda. Most places that serve food with parties do offer soda, and sometimes fruit punch, it is much cheaper for them to offer fountain drinks anyway. Honestly, I have never thought twice about soda being offered at a party.

 

Even when they were 5? I think you are right about the not making a big deal out of it. I didn't make a big deal out of what happened at all for that very reason. I want them to keep telling me stuff and like I said - need to find that balance!

 

What's the difference between Sprite/7-up and Coke? Is it just the caffeine? Thinking about it some more, I would definitely be a little ticked about caffeine, because the effects would rebound on us! We gave Amy a few sips of DH's Diet Coke when we went out for pizza after skiing a few weeks ago (when we assumed they would instantly conk out in the car), and instead she talked nonstop (even compared to her usual nonstop talking) the entire way home. No more caffeine for that kid! :acute:

 

Yes, even when they were 5, and probably before that. Like I said, they have never been told "no" regarding a soda, and as a result, will usually pick something else--forbidden fruit and all that.

 

I'm suprised a 5 year old would like soda. We don't drink soda at all, but on occasion my kids have sipped my seltzer and it is too "spicy" for them. Even for my 9 and 6 year olds.

 

Put me in the "not a big deal" camp. Sorry it upset you but even for 5 year olds, I think a lot of peo-ple would serve pop at a birthday party. It is a special occasion. I wouldn't serve cake and ice cream every day to 5 year olds but I would at a birthday party. Same thing with soda. The more you restrict something the more they want it, hence the 8 year old sneaking the soda.

 

Yeah I would definitely tell your friend about her 8 year old sneaking around, but the whole pop at the party thing wouldn't bother me, in fact I'd kind of expect it. Around here pretty much all parties involve pizza and pop or Caprisuns which I don't really see as being any better for you. My DH and I usually only drink pop when we are going out to eat somewhere so it's not something we have at home no juice either. My girls mostly drink water and prefer it to juice. I am the type that lets my kids have most things in moderation so if we are out to eat I let them have pop if they want and a lot of times when it's their b-day they want pop for the drink because it such a rare occasion that they can have it. Your post surprised me because I would have never thought a parent might be upset by me serving their child pop at a party.

 

I'm not one to purposely serve soda to five year olds, or even 10 year olds. That said, if someone had soda at a party that my kindergardener went to, I wouldn't stress too much about it. Would I like it? No. I do agree that the 8 yr old's mom needs to know about the sneaking but that's an entirely different issue.

 

This is why I asked. I didn't know whether it was the norm or not!

 

Di, I wouldn't say it's the norm. I've been to at least 6 parties for 5 yr olds in the past few months and not one of them served soda for the kids. For me the caffeine-free stuff (like Sprite) wouldn't bother me too much, but things like Coke would bother me.

 

We drink very little soda and do not keep it in the house. We also enjoy an occasional IZZE soda and the boys are allowed a small non caffeinated soda when we are out at a restaurant or something. That said, it wouldn't occur to me that someone would be upset if I gave their child Sprite or Root Beer at a birthday party, even for 5 year olds. Would you have been as upset if it had been one of those sugary juice (but not real juice) drinks? Capri sun or similar? Chocolate milk? To me, those are exactly the same as soda in terms of healthfulness. If you take away the caffeine aspect (which would upset me, as well as artificial sweeteners & I'm sort of obsessive about keeping HFCS out of my house, too!) the high sugar content is what bothers me and apple juice has just as much sugar as soda........ I think you did just the right thing about not making a big deal about it. Make sure they know that soda is not a healthy drink. I always tell my kids that soda is the same as dessert and they should think of it that way! That said, I don't think soda is more or less 'evil' than other high sugar drinks - and those things are going to be offered at a birthday party.

 

I agree I wouldn't make a big fuss about it. Many juices have just as much sugar in it as soda. The caffeine thing is different, of course. That being said, I would never personally serve soda at a kids party, unless adults were there. If it is at a place though, sometimes all they have is soda, but I'm sure they could serve water as an option too. I don't like my kids having soda often, but will allow it at parties or out at dinner occasionally. The twins are allowed 1 soda a week, and it can only be a non-caffeinated, regular soda. In the house we only have milk, water, 100% juice and DH keeps a stash of coke in the garage for upset stomach (it works wonders when you don't feel well!!).

 

I would be upset. I would just let it be known to the mom of the 8 year old next time that they are not allowed soda. My girls have never had it and I don't intend for them to as long as I can. We've been to lots of birthday parties (McDonalds etc)and they are usually offered milk or juice, I remember one child last year asking for coke and I was very surprised I checked with her mom and she said ok for special ocassions so she had it but 20 other kids chose apple juice or milk.

 

I have a variety of drinks at my kids parties for both parents and children. If parents drop their kids off I could care less what the kids drink. Especially because I have alot more to worry about than what the kids are drinking. At the girls last party there was over 25 kids so if a parent specifically does not want their kid to have a beverage I would recommend them staying at the party to make sure that happens.

 

Chrissy, that is a good point. We haven't had many drop off parties (there were about 8 kids at this party) so it didn't occur to me, but it is true! Safety first!

 

I do not mind if parents drop off but if they drop off with a list of things I need watch for then they will need to stay. At the girls last birthday party there was a little autistic girl there that needed constant supervision and her mom just dropped her off. She was extremly sweet but a majority of my time at the girls party was spent concentrating on this little girl and not the rest of the kids at the girls party or even tmy own kids. So if there was even 1 mom at that party that requested their kid not drink soda it probably would have thrown me over the edge.

 

It probably wouldn't surprise me because the nutrition in this country is insane. I am constantly mystified by what people consider to be "healthy" or at the very least "not too bad in moderation". Fascinating. I also wonder why no one has mentioned the acid content of soda? That seems to me like it would be a major concern for parents of young children. That low PH level coupled with the high sugar content is an absolute destroyer of tooth enamel, not to mention any other parts of the body.

 

Chrissy, honestly she didn't want the parents to stay, but she didn't get a list from anyone either. She just had Sprite for her kid's special day and I was surprised. I absolutely see your point!

Amanda - very true!

 

I do not agree with the "if you don't let them have it, they will sneak it". I don't just tell my kids they can't have it, I explain to them why its a bad choice. The tooth enamel is a huge one for us. My oldest son was born with no enamel on his baby teeth (thank God its on his adult teeth). So we are all very consious about that. I tell my kids why soda is bad and teach them better choices. Then they don't feel the need to sneak it. They have had sprite and are allowed it as a treat. But even when its offered at places my kids choose something else. I think (hope) that helps my kids to understand.