Schedules

My girls are almost 13 weeks (born at 30 weeks) and for the past week, all of a sudden one of them has been crying incessantly unless she is being held (thanks to a overzealous mother-in-law who would not put them down at any cost!).  I go back and forth over letting her cry it out and getting her up to try to play with her/stimulate her.  My problem comes in when the other one wants/needs to play or be fed.  I also want to get her back to realize that crib = sleep/quiet time.  The NICU "trained" these girls so well on being able to lie in their cribs and not cry, if possible I'd like to get them back there.
 
My questions are...are they too young to cry it out (I'm having trouble distinguising whether they 3 months or do I correct their age to only 3 weeks??) and when has everyone else started a schedule such as 7:00 feed, 8:00 play time, 9:00 nap time?   I feel like they are still too young to get an established schedule but at this point, I have no clue!!

 

Treat them as 3 weeks old. Unfortunately, it sounds like she's right on schedule for beginning the typical full term increasing fussiness period. This usually peaks at about 6 weeks after the EDD.

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of schedules for children but do love me some routines. So while the day has some structure to it, we have the flexibility to follow babies' cues.

Also, young babies don't need stimulation - EVERYthing around them is stimulating to them, every noise, everything they see, every sensation they feel on their skin. More often then not, they need help relaxing. Have you tried baby wearing? Getting a good wrap or soft structured carrier would allow you to carry your one baby close, where she seems to need to be right now, while allowing you to continue caring for your other baby.

 

Even 3 months old is too young for CIO. You are really looking at 4-6 months adjusted. Like Rachel said, treat them as 3 week olds.

 

Thank you both! This is so new to me and as everyone on here knows, it can certainly get overwhelming. That is a good idea about baby wearing, I think that would help a lot.

 

Baby wearing helps a ton; also The Happiest Bany on the Blick has a short video with soothing techniques.

 

I agree with the baby wearing.  see if you can borrow and try a number of different carriers/wraps.  Until my son was about 12 weeks (adjusted) he spent nearly every evening in the Moby Wrap.  If i put him down he cried.  It is a stage and they out grow it.  
At this point you can't spoil them.  Do what you can to comfort them.  Make sure that there is nothing physically wrong.  if they are physically fine but inconsolable do something that helps relax you.. put on some music (or i use to put ear plus in) and hold them while they work through it.

 

Don't want to jinx it, but the crying seems to have stopped for the most part (except during diaper changes, which I can handle). I am going to try baby wearing though - sounds like it will be very helpful.

 

Hi abw, sounds like you've gotten some great advice. Are things still going well I hope? One of my boys screamed all thru diaper changes, outfit changes, waiting to eat, after eating, etc etc for several weeks in the beginning, so I feel your pain! We just tried to move through the transitions as quickly as possible so we could just pick him back up again. I don't really even remember when it subsided (17w adjusted now) but he's been much happier for the past 2 months at least. Hang in there!

 

Things are going pretty well still. Even the diaper changes are good (9 out of 20 of them, at least). She still has her moments but I think it's just part of being a baby, she just seems to cry really hard when she does cry. We're getting there!

 

Glad things are going better. 
 
for diaper changes, try hanging something above the changing table for them to look at.  Or if you have a mobile above their bed do it there on a changing mat. The music should help too. Everyone needs a little distraction sometimes.  You could also try baby massage at changing time.  there are some good videos if you google.  sing.. anything to make it more enjoyable, relaxing... for both of you.
 
 
For me it was hard to be away from one baby, and changing means you always have one baby waiting.  I tried to think of changing time as quality time.  The baby being changed got my undivided attention and while i was always listening for baby #2, very little would pull me away.  That approach helped me be more relaxed and not rush through but spend a little time talking and tickling.  It will get better and better..
 
... until they get to be more mobile and then you will need every distraction you can think of to keep them from rolling away! lol!

 

My girls used to HATE getting their diapers changed and now they love it.  I play with them and make up songs to sing to them while I am changing them during the day.  It took some time but now they love it.  Stick with it and good luck!