Really need someone to talk to

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by jolcia17, Mar 2, 2015.

  1. jolcia17

    jolcia17 Well-Known Member

    I am a mom of 4 year old girls. Just looking for someone to talk to and vent to and to give me advice.

    There is nothing I love more than staying home with my girls. I am 25, am in grad school, and my girls go to a preschool 3 days a week. I go to school one day and the two days I'm doing an internship. I hate it that they go to school 3 days. I wish I was staying home with them.

    So for my following year I need a second internship which requires me to be there three days and school one day so that would mean my kids are in preschool 4 days a week. I get so depressed when I think of that. I will have such a hard time giving them away for four days instead of being home with them. I've never worked since they were born just been going to school. I'm confused as to what I should do. Should I slow down with school? My husband works everyday and he's a total opposite of me. It doesn't bother him to be away and I feel like he doesn't understand where I come from. And I have no one else to vent to.

    I just know that in a year my kids will go to school everyday when they start kindergarten and I guess I just don't want them to be going everyday yet.

    I'm just really attached to my kids and it makes me sad when I see how fast they are growing up. I'm looking for advice on how to deal with this sadness and what to do. Any moms been in a similiar situation where they have a hard time letting go or feel bad for taking their kids to preschool?
  2. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I promise they will be okay...and eventually you will too.  I've worked full time since my kids were 8 weeks old, there are many days that I had wished I could be home with them but they're doing great and I dont feel like they missed out on any meaningful bonding with me.  I still spend plenty of time with them and they are loved just as much as any stay at home kids :) You know if anything I think they are well rounded and have had lots of fun with other kids to play with, going on field trips and learning new things. 
    I think its great your kids have been able to spend all this time with you, and next this will be a new and exciting step in all of your lives.
  3. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    So, I was conflicted this year about all day kindergarten. I do miss them, but I also enjoy the ability to run errands without them.

    What I would say is that there are tons of breaks in the academic calendar for you to have off each year, in addition to weekends. Maybe it won't be as though as you are thinking?

    But, if you've changed your goals and priorities and want to stay home a year until they are in school full time, would that be possible?
  4. rayceryin12

    rayceryin12 Well-Known Member

    I work full time. Some days I wish I could spend more time with them. But, for me, I feel I'm better mother being a working mother. If you decide its what you want to do, you can come to peace with it.
  5. jolcia17

    jolcia17 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your responses ladies. I've been thinking about this all day.

    Cheezewhiz I have thought of that option too. I told myself that If I don't find an internship for the fall I'll just wait an extra year and not stress about it. But I went for an interview today and am pretty sure I got it. So now I am going through this dilemma of what I want out of life.

  6. TP

    TP Well-Known Member

    I promise you that you and the kids will be okay in what ever you choose . As long as kids have parents that are actively and positively involved in their life , they will be fine. Be at peace with what ever you decide and do not think too much once the decision is taken ..... The grass is usually green on other side and you will have moments of regret in any path you choose ..:)
    2 people like this.
  7. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I am going to echo what everyone else said.  Your children will do well with whatever path you decide to choose.   The most important thing is that they know they are loved and cared for, you definitely have that covered.  I think there is always a push and pull with being a Mom, our needs and wants have to be balanced out with what we think best for the children, where I think fathers have it in a different way.  I think it is normal to feel a little sad over how fast they grow up (believe me, mine are 7 and I constantly wonder where does the time go) but think of preschool as opportunity for them: to make friends, learn new things and be prepared for kindergarten.  I am a stay at home Mom (for the most part), I did go to school and do an internship when my children were babies and I did feel guilty not always being there a 100% of the time.  But my father cared for them (they were 4 weeks old when I went back to school and 1.5 when I graduated) and my father has since passed away, so I look at that time as a gift that he had to spend with his grandchildren in the short time he'd be able to.
    I would say, if you do decide to take some time off and start up an internship when they go to kindergarten, find out how easy it would be to jump back into one.  I was very glad to be home with my kids, but at the same time, having a gap in my work experience has proven very difficult to find full time employment.  So that might be something you want to consider as you make your decision.
    1 person likes this.
  8. jolcia17

    jolcia17 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all the replies ladies and all the encouraging words. That's what I needed. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who is experiencing this. I need to figure out what I'll do. If I do find an internship I guess I'll just go with the flow. Thanks ladies!! Hugs
  9. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    I was going to say what one of the other posters just said.  Don't look at Preschool as Daycare, but rather an opportunity for them.  More and more states are looking into funding preschools, as all research is showing how important it is.  I am a teacher who is working full time for the first time since my boys were born (they are 12.5 years old).  Even though I was able to be home, I still sent them to Preschool--for THEM--it wasn't for me.  I would have saved a lot of money if they stayed home :)  So you are doing what you need for you, and coincidentally, what they need as well.   
  10. cm301263

    cm301263 Well-Known Member

    :hug:It will all work out. In the end, you need to do what really feels the best to you but I don't think you should slow down your schooling, Do that for yourself & find comfort in knowing that your kids are enjoying their school time and their friends and they are learning and growing and you can love them up every minute that they and yourself are back home together. I can really relate to feeling saddened by the fact that time is passing so fast, but as someone told me once, don't let that sadness rob you of living in the moment and enjoying the moments that you have with them right now.
  11. jolcia17

    jolcia17 Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad I wrote on here and got such great advice from you all. I feel like I have no one to talk to who understands me. And you all helped a lot. Thank you for the kind words and the love I felt reading your posts. I am currently interviewing for internships and so if one does come along I will probably accept it and move forward.
    1 person likes this.
  12. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    That's what we're here for!!  (to support each other) I'm glad you wrote on here too. 
Similar Threads Forum Date
Really need some help with car seats! General Feb 20, 2014
had the worst afternoon...really need discipline help The Toddler Years(1-3) Dec 7, 2011
What do I really need? Pregnancy Help Sep 17, 2011
Really in need of help Childhood and Beyond (4+) Aug 28, 2011
Really nervous about moving from 2 naps to 1 starting tomorrow...need quick support The Toddler Years(1-3) Dec 5, 2010

Share This Page