Preschool question (again)

I love, love the girls' preschool program so I need to know if this issue I have is valid enough to pursue or if I should just get over myself.

Since the girls started (September) they've had lollipops in their cubbies every afternoon. At first, I was a little put off but, as the weeks passed and the girls got used to this treat every afternoon and developed some attitude about it, I asked the teacher if they were merit-based or something. No. A grandma puts them there. I guess other parents were complaining because the teacher assured me that they're dealing with it. Okay.

Well, it's been dealt with. Grandma is leaving snack packs of cheesy poofs. I'm not thrilled with that, either. Besides the fact that we don't eat that sort of snack (we just don't), it's still a snack at a totally unnecessary time. And it's messy as heck to boot! I mean, don't set me up to fail EVERY DAY, school!

The issues are whether the snack itself is a problem (I think it is, but maybe I'm being uptight?) and getting my kids to understand that these snacks or treats are not givens (maybe I should work on "you don't get it just because somebody else gave it to you"?).

Thoughts? Do I say something again? Go over the teachers since they seem to struggle with grandma? Drop it?

 

Can you somehow hide it from them? Then just take it to work or something? My kids get the goodie bags (just today actually) for birthdays and such but the teacher only let's them eat the messy things (like cupcakes) after their lunch, otherwise it goes in their book bags for parents to deal with. If it really bothers you I would ask the teachers if they could ask her not to leave one an if that doesn't work...go straight to the source. I hate confrontation so easier said than done!!

 

I would be bothered and would ask that it stop. Quite frankly, I don't want some person I don't know giving my child food on a daily basis. It's kind of creepy, and the school should have policies in place to prevent it. If they don't want to deal with it, I'd have them tell the grandma that I don't want it for my kids. I don't care if some weirdo thinks I'm mean. If that didn't work, I'd post a note on the kids' cubbies telling grandma to stop.

 

Kim, their cubbies are visible to them all day long. :/ I wish I could hide them.

Rachael, thank you for making me feel less crazy.

 

Because I'm more crazy?

 

I'm 100% with Rachael on this!

 

I think its crazy and I'm in the biz. I think they should ask the grandmother to stop with the food treats. If she wants to give something, have her donate a treat once a month or do stickers. Cheese puffs and suckers are not a daily thing. 

 

 
What she said. :good:   If it was once a month, it would be okay with me, but every day seems too much.  My kids do not get lollipops and junk food every day.

 

I'd say something too. It's just not necessary. And I'm really surprised they've allowed her to do it at all!

 

Rachael, you're better at discerning rational crazy and cray cray crazy.

Should I go through the teachers again or go to the director?

 

I'd talk to the teachers again first. Sounds like they've been receptive.

 

Just adding that that would totally annoy me too. Let us know what you decide.

 

It would bother me. It's hard enough to make sure the kids are eating healthy! I would also approach the teachers, maybe with the suggestion that they just have a school policy of no outside food? We have that at our school since parents were complaining about having birthday cake every week, and everyone seems happier.

 

would make me crazy, crazy, crazy.
 
we are dealing with a school program (unclear if it's federal or state) where they feed kids breakfast, in the classroom, every day. Coffee cake, muffins, basically a bunch of junk. Becca doesn't eat it, but it's upsetting to Jake when we ask him to opt out. I'm in the process of trying to get this out of the schools.
 
So yes, this stuff makes ME CRAZY. 

 

I would be very unhappy about this too. I don't mind an occasional birthday treat for the class or a Christmas party (although many parents send healthier snacks for these occasions), but junk food every day is just unhealthy. All of us work hard to offer our kids healthy foods and create good food habits and choices and I would not appreciate some other parent or grandparent undermining that.
 
I hope the teachers are responsive.

 

Hmm, this sounds weird. Maybe if all fails, you should talk to the parents of that kid whose grandma does this and let them deal with it. Do they know their mother/mother in law does this every day? Maybe they can talk some sense into her? Once a month or so would be OK for me, but not every day, it's strange.

 

The candy at school thing drives me bonkers.  My two are in 3rd grade and this has been a problem every single year.  Granted, it's been the teachers or staff giving them candy/treats, not random grandmothers, that just adds a little level of creepiness.    I am still constantly asking teachers not to give my kids candy, doughnuts, etc. 

 

I think the stickers are a great idea.  But I'd also go through the school and suggest that the teachers tell the grandmother what they need most (crayons, books, etc.) and have them gently suggest to the grandmother to send that instead of the treats she has been sending.  They could start off by telling her that some of the kids can't eat the treats she has been sending but the class could really share  "xxx items" which all the kids would enjoy.  I agree I would not want my children having the treats and I would not want to be the "bad guy" in telling them they can't have them, but I also feel for the grandmother who wants to help (her heart is in the right place) she just might not know how.

 

That's actually a great idea (and maybe nicer than my advice to tell the old lady she's creepy).

 

Well put!!!

 

I'm *that parent*. Sigh..
 
I addressed it with the teachers again on Wednesday and the girls had cheese poofs that afternoon and Thursday, so I called the director. On Friday the girls had stickers (yay!) but they were still pinned to their cubbies along with all the cheese poofs, so I had to wrangle crying kids on our way out the door Friday afternoon. I recognize that my kids' temper tantrums are my responsibility, but I am FRUSTRATED by this!
 
So I called the director again this morning to ask about whether this was the new normal or if there was not a policy about outside food? She said that I'm the only one complaining, that "as best she understands" it is part of a reward system (I've not been told that, I was told it was just grandma), and that Ms Carol (their lead and AM teacher) is leaving at the end of the month anyway. At this point I felt like I was being perceived as crazy, so I told her that Brittany (PM teacher) had said other parents had complained to her ("I'll confront her shortly") and I just told her to wait. If Ms Carol is leaving and I am the nut case, then let's just wait for the new teacher and see what happens. 
 
I don't feel better. I feel more irritated than I started out. But I don't want to stir up a bunch of chaos the week before Ms Carol leaves and I don't like the idea of Brittany being "confronted." Why can't this just be a POLICY? And, if it IS a reward system, shouldn't it be explained and maybe cleared with parents? We're talking about lollipops and cheese poofs at 5:15 in the afternoon. Why not stickers for all the kids? 
 
Why is this making me doubt myself? Gah!
 
I really do like the program a lot. Really. But I would switch them over this because it is that important to me. Unfortunately, I turned down the openings at the other comparable preschool program last month and we wouldn't get in anywhere right now except the $1850/mo center. That's a $600 difference over cheese poofs.

 

I would be LIVID.  We spend a lot of time and money to buy certain kinds of food for our kids. Our preschool (granted west LA, hippy dippy land) didn't allow treats of any kind. Snack was provided by the parents, but sugar was not permitted (it was items such as fruit, pretzels, hummus).
 
I know you live in a different part of the world, but I find this unacceptable.
Do you have contact with the other parents? Maybe if you can find out "from the horse's mouth" you can prove to the director this is an issue for all the parents.

 

I'm surprised they don't have a policy about outside food. If I so much as walk in with Cooper and he's got a piece of toast in his hand I get fussed at. I don't want mine eating a snack around 5 either b/c then there's no chance of them eating dinner. Even if it wasn't cheese poofs.

 

That's crazy. It doesn't matter if you're the only one upset; you're upset, and reasonably so. And if you're not the only one upset, then the director isn't doing her job by ignoring what parents are asking. It seems crazy to me that they don't have an outside food policy to start with and as educators they should know better than to reward kids with junky treats every day. There's lots of alternatives if it is a reward program.
 
GAH. Why is daycare so insane!???

 

Her response is completely unacceptable. If you are upset it doesn't matter if no one else is or isn't. I'm so mad for you!

 

Bad response. Cheese puffs at home time is not a good reward system. They have no idea they are getting something for being "good" 3 hours ago, they just know its a yummy food. Rewards need to be given at the time and should be expected. (I can dig some educational blah blah stuff if you want) 
 
It shouldn't matter if a teacher is leaving, centre policy doesn't change with staff. 

 

I will definitaly not tolerate this either.  My kids get candy as a treat.  Luckily our school has a policy of healthy snacks, even for birthdays. I hope that this granny can be persuaded to contribute to supplies for the class. 

 

I agree with Kendra.  Giving them a reward for something that has happened 3 hours ago is meaningless.  Personally, I'd be one of those parents who wouldn't care about the food-however-I just think overall, stickers are a better reward. The day care should be taking your concerns seriously, it is important to you and your feelings should be respected.   I mean, my kids get happy about treats, don't get me wrong.  But they get way more excited about stickers considering the fact that every day-according to them, I must ooh and ahh over their stickers for good behavior at school (I have no problem with doing that, I just think it's funny).  

 

I wouldn't really care about the food being a treat personally but I wouldn't like them to eat right before dinner.

Stickers make much more sense to me. This shouldn't be hard for them 1) understand 2) fix.

 

I'd be livid too!  Schools here are really stressing HEALTHY food choices.  Giving them suckers or cheese puffs are not that.  At least they are store bought!  We don't give our kids pop/soda/coke.  Yesterday at a girl scout meeting the leader (age 20) suggested pop for my daughter.  We had to have the meeting at a coffee shop.  Umm.. no.  I don't mind the occasional treat, but cheese puffs every day?  Nope.  I'd be the mom dragging her kids out screaming without the 'treat.' 

 

Can i be snarky for a moment?
 
If it a reward.. you could solve both problems at once.  Save the treat for on the way to school the next day.. they will be wired on sugar and you shouldn't have to worry about a 'reward', at least for that day!
.. clearly not a solution but.. just had to vent!
 
Uuuggg.   the whole situation would tick me off.  
Sorry you are dealing with that. 

 

I am with everyone else, I would be extremely angry.  A reward system?  Treats at 5:00??  And how is it a reward if every child is getting them?  I just don't get it, and I know it would not fly with any parents I know around here!  You are not crazy!