Home: When did you stop letting your boys in the bathroom while you were exposed? I am trying to start this with my 7 year old....but had a friend tell me this weekend that it was too early and I should not worry about it? Thoughts? Public: I go out often with me and the 4 littles. I am not 100% comfortable with my 7 year old in the men’s room by himself, especially because it takes me awhile in the girls room with the other 3. ...I could let all 3 in the men’s room?...but I just have control issues and am afraid of all the weirdoes out there. They use the men’s room when their father is around, but when it is just me, well I keep them herded together in the women’s. I have noticed a few looks lately from other ladies with daughters, when in the bathroom with my 7 year old. Thoughts? No judgements please.... Thanks
I've been sending my 7 year old in the men's room since he was 5 by himself. Well, both of them, I shoo them off to the bathroom if they have to go and I don't. The only time I've had problems was recently, somehow or another he got tangled up in his pants (who only puts on one leg of underwear? For real!) and some big muscle-y, guy came sheepishly out of the restroom, came over to find me and asked me if that was my son in the restroom because he was having a wardrobe malfunction. I think honestly, it might be less embarrassing for him to not have to go in the ladies room, maybe he could hang outside of the door?
We're practically nudists at home and have no qualms about our kids seeing us naked. Recently the girls, 6.5, have been requesting privacy at times, which we respect. I suspect this is more an exploration of their personal power than any concerns about anyone seeing them naked though. I've also been sending my girls to the washroom on their own for some time now. There really and truly aren't that many weirdos out there. That risk is irrationally and ridiculously inflated in the media and not reflective of how the overwhelming majority of people actually are. Is there a possibility something awful could happen? Yes, there is. But that's true all the time. There's also a chance a meteorite could land on you at any time but I'm quite certain you don't spend your time worrying about it. Statistically speaking, both risks are about equal. At 7, you could talk with your son in advance and brainstorm solutions to problems - like what could he do if he ran out of toilet paper? or got tangled in his clothes? That's more likely to cause problems then anything else. In general, we often talk to our girls about how they are in charge of their own bodies and no one, not another child or any adult, is allowed to do anything to them that they don't like or that feels uncomfortable to them. We talk about how if that happens they can ask the person to stop. If they don't, they can loudly and firmly say or yell "STOP!" If that doesn't work, we've told them they can find an adult they trust to help them and they can do whatever they need to to feel safe, which includes kicking, hitting, and punching. In day to day life, we're constantly pointing out moments of consent. Let's say they're play fighting and one of the kids starts yelling stop, I'll say "I hear X saying stop. Let's see if she's still enjoying this game". With my youngest, if I'm tickling him and he yells stop, I stop immediately. At the doctor's, they have permission to decline any check or test them don't want and we encourage them to ask questions if they're not sure why the doctor wants to do something. Stuff like that. Anyway, is it foolproof? No, it's not. But ultimately, despite whatever efforts I make, I will not be able to be with them all of the time. When I'm not there, I want them to know they are in charge of themselves and they know what to do to keep themselves safe.
I worry more about sanitary conditions sending my boys into washrooms than I do about people in the bathroom, but my boys are really good about avoiding messy bathrooms. Sometimes they insist on going to the men's room. Only once did Miles get overwhelmed because there was a lot of men, and a guy came out to tell me what was going on then gave him a pep talk and it all worked out fine. A lot of places have family washrooms that we take advantage of. My boys do not want me in the stall with them though. I say let them do whatever they're comfortable with. Maybe let them go by themselves when your husband is with you so he can go check on them if things go south? As for nudity at home, it's a bit of a free for all. Sometimes the boys will even jump in the shower with me still, although that happens less often now.
Well so far they are still naked in front of each other all the time and see me naked as well. It's a good question though... Typically now I let my son use the men bathroom and ask him to wait by the door, even if it makes me a bit nervous, but it depends on the place really. I don't see what the deal is with boys in the women bathroom, it's not like there is anything to see. I wouldn't be comfortable with my daughter in the men bathroom though!
my kids have beeing going into bathrooms by themselves since 5 or 6 - our issue was my daughter wasn't tall enough to get soap and turn faucets on and off but my son never had that issue. I taught them that if someone bothers them to scream - I figure no one wants to screw with some kid making a ruckus! I saw a mom trying to drag a boy of about 11 or 12 into the ladies room - felt so bad for the poor kid - he obviously didn't want to be in there but his mother refused to let him stand outside the bathroom by himself. He appeared to be able bodied and was CLEARLY expressing his displeasure!
My boys (8) go to the men's room since they are 6/7 They will NOT go into the girlsroom with me I tell them to wait by the door. And they do (very very scary the first fey times). When they were all younger I would go to a handicapted toilet with all of them And I will go into the men's room if needed. Once I could hear Keagan scream, he couldn't get the door open. I just say "sorry" and smile hahahh to men there and pay no atention to them. I'm a geriatric nurse..I have seen enough.....hahahahah In need I will go with the boy's into the mens room At home the kids see me and my boyfriend naked, I leave the door open in the bathroom. Keagan turned shy a year ago, and likes his privacy. That's fine I asked DD (10) if she would like to go to the sauna with me (nude) and a friend and her daughter. Butt she didn't. We go to one where there are more kids, as long they can behave. Will see in the future..
Home: my son was probably 5.. In public I started letting him go in the men's room with me waiting outside when he was about 7...around 8 I let him go in the men's room while I went into the women's and would have him wait for me just outside the bathroom. Like Suzy said, it's a little nerve wracking the first couple of times..but, our kids don't want to lose us anymore than we want to lose them in a busy place.
