Not sure if this is the right place for this

QUOTE(twoplustwo @ Nov 25 2008, 11:13 PM) [snapback]1087111[/snapback]
I agree, in an ideal world seperate would be nice but.....

But life is busy. I do think it is rude to not send thank you notes at all. I would send a seperate note in the christmas card (not put it on the x-mas card). I agree it is important to include one sentence mentioning the specific gift given to you as to make it personal.

I also must add that having multiples or being "busy" is no excuse to be rude. I have 4 kids and always make sure I send notes for things promptly. I do think that people will greatly appreciate the thank you, no matter when it comes, late or in your christmas card.



I completely agree with Alison. I am a stickler for Thank You notes.

Maybe you could ask your mom (if she is close by) to help you get them written out, she could address them while you write a short, personal note to the gift givers.

 

I personally don't get offended if someone doesn't send me a thank you note, but I always feel bad until mine are all sent out. Right now you probably feel overwhelmed by the task, but once you sit down and start knocking them out, you will be done in no time.
I feel like your mom is putting too much pressure on you about the timing and the separate cards...blahblahblah. You should put a funny little note saying something like "life has been crazy with these two little girls, but I still wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you coming to our shower..." and add something in there about how much their gift has come in handy, and send it out inside the Christmas cards. You will instantly feel better about it, and I'm sure nobody will be offended by that gesture. Also keep in mind that people are generally happy around this time of year anyway
you can't worry yourself over what other people think about your etiquette... we are all doing the best we can and nobody is perfect...

 

Yeah, I'm definitely a person who believes thank you notes are necessary. And I can't deal with procrastinating on stuff like that, so I had my thank you notes out less than a week after my shower ... I started writing them the night of the shower in bed.

My cousin takes the easy way out with thank you cards, and goes to Shutterfly and prints out a card with a picture taken the day of the event ... then has it preprinted with "Thank you (blah blah blah)" and even has their names typed in the card.

I wouldn't do it (not as personal to me) but at least it's a seperate recognition of the shower gift, and it shouldn't be much more work than putting together a Christmas card ... just a suggestion.

Anyway, most people understand. I would never end a friendship or something dramatic like that over it ... but I do think when people spend their time and money and attend a shower, celebrate you, and buy a gift, you should find the time to send a thank you card.

 

I think a personal thank you note or card with the Christmas card would be better than nothing. I had my DD's one week after my shower, and I did send out my cards later than I felt comfortable with. What I ended up doing was just sending their first professional pics with the thank you cards, apologizing for the lateness. Everyone knew I had DD's in the NICU for 5 and 6 weeks, so I never got any grumbling.

 

Thanks for all your answers girls!!
I didn't mean to start a fight, but...touchy subject I guess!

 

Why are thank you notes so important if you said thank you at the shower?? I can understand sending a note for something that you receive in the mail or if you are not able to thank them in person, but this pressure to send a thank you card is overwhelming. If you opened a gift in front of someone and said "Thank you, I love it," why must you follow up with a note?? I just don't get it. :unknw:

 

My personal opinion is that you shouldn't have to send thank you notes to your immediate family and friends who are close enough to be family. For something like a shower I would give the people who hosted the shower for me a hostess gift and give that to them at the shower, so I think a thank you note on top of that is unneccessary. And I also think it's unneccessary when I get thank you notes for Xmas gifts, especially when it is a parent who is writing for gifts their child received.

But for regular guests who attended your shower I think it is important to send a thank you note, because that person took the time to go the store and buy something for you and bring it to a party in your honor. It's polite to send a note saying you appreciate the time they took and the money they spent. I was months late in sending out thank you notes for my bridal showers b/c I had so much going on at that time, but I did eventually get them out. I would put thank you notes in with the Xmas cards, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

 

I dont come from a culture where baby showers are a tradition (I wish it was though!). However, quite a few people - both friends and family - sent gifts after the babies arrived. I just didnt have the time to post thank you cards, and it is etiquette to do so. My mum acted as my "thank you" voice and everyone was totally understanding. I have to admit that, like you, I felt so uncomfy about it that I printed off pictures of the twins and made my own thank you cards and sent them out when the twins were about 3 months old.

In your shoes, I´d add a thank you note in with the Christmas card and apologise for the lateness, etc, and add a picture - if you want. I am sure people will understand and appreciate the effort. At least you made the effort plus the old saying is true: "better late than never"

 

Why are thank you notes so important if you said thank you at the shower?? I can understand sending a note for something that you receive in the mail or if you are not able to thank them in person, but this pressure to send a thank you card is overwhelming. If you opened a gift in front of someone and said "Thank you, I love it," why must you follow up with a note?? I just don't get it. unknw.gig

Because it is proper etiquette. I believe when someone takes time out of their lives, spends money on gifts that they may not be able to afford or can afford, it is proper to acknowledge that. I believe it is proper and it is manners. I guess I am an old fashioned girl who believes in recognizing important things, this is important.

 

Ugh! I HATE HATE HATE buying/writing/stamping/sending thank-you notes!!!! But i like the gifts and I like getting thankyou notes from other people so I do them, they may not be punctual but they get sent sooner or later.

To me a note on your Christmas card is good and you will feel sooooo much better once they are all sent and it is off your mind.

Good Luck

Erica

 

i don't think it's BAD to do that, but i think some people might think you didn't put much time into it. i know, i know, you have no time! but, at least in my case, i felt i'd rather take the time to thank everyone personally and thank them for all their support, no matter how long it took me..... btw, i am down to my last ten thank you notes. but shower was on jan 6th, if that makes you feel any better. but, the boys were born 12 weeks early on dec 23rd.

gl, jl

 

Do what you can - if that means a quick personal note goes in the Christmas card, so be it! Miss Manners may not be pleased, but she isn't living your life (or mine...I only got about 75% of the way through mine before I finally gave up for good!)

 

I haven't read all of the responses... my babies were born Nov 13 and I sent out some thank you's as I received items (I didn't have a shower, as they were not my first children). I then wrote out some thank you cards and put them in the envelope with some Christmas cards and birth announcements... all together! I thought this was practical and did not have anyone complain that it did not come seperately. I am embarrassed to say, though, that I did not send thank you notes to everyone who gave us something or made us a meal. I too felt completely overwhelmed and did what I could. I actually had the thought that I might send out a card this year with a pic of the kids at 1 to those that I forgot, asking to be excused for the very, very late thank you!! I'm hoping they'll understand....

So I guess my vote is that you should do them with or before your Christmas cards, but sending them out together would not be a problem IMO. Have a happy holiday!!

 

I have to admit, I agree with Mum2TwinBoys... ideally, a separate note is in order. I think thank you notes are so important. People spent their precious time and hard-earned money on gifts for your babies - the least you can do is thank them for their generosity. Even if your thanks you is late, I'm sure everyone will appreciate it. And your mom is right - if you can find time to send Christmas cards, you should be able to find time to thank people.

That said, if all you can find time to do is include a note in the Christmas card, then that's better than nothing!

 

QUOTE(Jenn G @ Nov 26 2008, 11:18 AM) [snapback]1087834[/snapback]
Why are thank you notes so important if you said thank you at the shower?? I can understand sending a note for something that you receive in the mail or if you are not able to thank them in person, but this pressure to send a thank you card is overwhelming. If you opened a gift in front of someone and said "Thank you, I love it," why must you follow up with a note?? I just don't get it. :unknw:


That exactly what I was thinking! I don't send thank you notes if I already said thank you right to their face. It makes sense to me to do it for Wedding gift since they are not usually there when you open them. If I got something in the mail I would probably just pick up to phone and say thank you. That's just me though. Who ever came up with what is the "proper" thing to do anyway?

 

QUOTE(blended6 @ Nov 28 2008, 07:12 PM) [snapback]1089408[/snapback]
Who ever came up with what is the "proper" thing to do anyway?


EXACTLY! :lol:

I think people will be so excited to get a picture of the babies that they really won't care if you include your thank you in your Christmas cards. Also, humor goes a long way. You can say something like, "Well, this is the first time I've sat down in six months, so I wanted to take a moment to thank you for the....." or "Santa might bring me a lump of coal of I didn't take this chance to say thanks for the....". I think people will understand and will appreciate it.

Can DH help?

Personally, I hate writing thatk you notes (unless it's something that someone DID for me, not gave me) and I also don't like getting thank you notes. I do wrtite them, but I don't like it! :lol: I think it's a waste of paper and money! For me, I think it's enough for someone to tell me they appreicate the gift (and I honestly don't even mind if they don't). The exception is if someone gave a big gift or has really gone out of thier way.

Send them with the Christmas cards, it will be over and done with! Then you won't have to worry about it!

Good luck!

 

I haven't read the other replies, but I think you should put in a hand written note into the christmas cards. I know you don't have time, but I would get a sitter (can your mom come over for a few hours) and then take everything to a coffee shop with your ipod! Enjoy a quiet cup of coffee while you write out some thank you notes! This way you can stop being "haunted" by this (life is TOOOOO short!) and enjoy an afternoon alone. Just my opinion though.

 

Separate would be ideal, but its not very realistic. I think the Xmas card idea is a good compromise. People get their acknowledgement, you have less work, and you save trees, stamps and time in the process.

QUOTE(AmynTony @ Nov 25 2008, 08:34 PM) [snapback]1086884[/snapback]
honestly thats why I put tags on my shower favors that said "Thank you for sharing our special Day, Love Amy, Tony, Abby and Ian"....then I didn't have to worry about sending thank you cards...

Its nice that you put the tags on, but a generic 'thank you' and a personal note or verbal acknowledgement are definitely not the same thing.