QUOTE(haleystar @ Feb 17 2009, 02:54 PM) [snapback]1193756[/snapback] the 5k estimate is just that, i always go high that's just the way i budget. the furniture alone (and i'll probably get yelled at for it) is going to cost 1200 and that's a changer, dresser and cribs. yes i know they can share a crib at first but the fact of the matter is that they will need to be seperated so we might as well get it done now and have them both ready. the consignment furniture in town is the same price as those at the stores, in the $200+ range so it's not worth it to go consignment. unfortunatley for us we don't live in a huge city with lots of options. this is a rich community where even the consignment prices are large. and believe me i have shopped around. all of the places that have been mentioned in this post i have looked into and unfortnately there are no locations near us. the closest being a 3 hour drive north. i know that i'm over estimating but that's what i do. i prepare for the worst and hope for the best, it's how i get things done. maybe that's a fault of mine who knows. Honey, this is not yelling at you... but take it from all of us here who've already had our twins. There is no reason to spend $1200 on nursery furniture. Since you can't afford it, it would just be wasteful to charge it and pay the interest. I, too, live in a very wealthy community with not very many options. That said, I bought two $200 cribs at Babies R Us and still love them almost two years later. I got two really cute wooden dressers and used one as a changing table (just buy the $20 pad to put on top and any dresser becomes a changer). Grand total was maybe $700 for furniture. I had two bouncy chairs, got two great wood highchairs that convert to regular chairs, and had two exersaucers. Adding it all up, I still didn't spend $1200. And that's for ALL of my baby furniture and big items. And I didn't have the kind of money constraints you say you have. My husband has a well paying job and so do I. But we didn't need to spend $1200 on furniture or $5000 on everything. It's just not necessary. Hopefully putting some of this in perspective for you will help you plan financially for your babies. If you don't have the money, you simply don't have to spend it. Your kids will be incredibly happy with hand me downs, used items, quality items for less, or whatever you can find.
QUOTE(haleystar @ Feb 17 2009, 03:09 PM) [snapback]1193786[/snapback] i already knew that they wouldn't have the best of anything. like i said in an earlier post, my children won't have a lot of "stuff" but they will have a lot of love. and i don't plan on cutting anyone off. i'm well aware that grandparents are very important in childrens lives and i don't want to tarnish that in anyway. when i am with her i am nothing but nice to her. i'm not mean to anyone but things get to me and i do feel the need to vent. it's how i release the frustration. sorry. i will say this though, if she treats my children like she treats me or has treated her own children i will have to do something because negativity is NOT going to fly. i don't care who you are. Good, It sounds like you're keeping your perspective on those important relationships. We all need to vent and if you're like I am, those pregnancy hormones make everything seem a little bigger and more serious than it is. I don't mean to say that this stuff isnt' important, just that I got very upset about some things that didn't matter much later. One negative about posting a vent on a public forum is that you get everyone's two cents...mine included. I hope you've found something helpful in all these posts, even if they seem a littel tough on you. I do have one more question...I know what it's like to live paycheck to paycheck so I'm not questioning that it's tough to do this on a budget. The thing is, the babies will be more expensive than you can imagine. How will you handle that and credit card bills. Will there be an additional source of income later that you don't have now? I know someone earlier suggested breastfeeding as a way to save money and I wholeheartedly agree. I successfully nursed my twins and would be glad to give you any help or support you might need if you choose to try. It was rough but worth it in the long run. Please PM if you like, either now or later.
again, i am over estimating and cannot stress enough to those of you who say that hand me downs are the way to go...that would be great IF we were able to get hand me downs. like i said earlier, no one we know has furniture to sell or get rid of. i would be more than happy to get whatever i could from craigslist or sales or consignment shops but the fact of the matter is where i live we just don't have those types of things in the papers. as for the credit card bills, we will pay for them and manage. i don't know how but we will. i know this is going to be expensive and i know it's going to be tough but we will figure it out. things will work out in the end, that i have hope for. but please, i have taken the quality advice and the thigns that are not hurtful to heart and will be putting them to use but like i've said before, if you don't agree with me fine but do it in a constructive way and not a hurtful way. i'm already a mess with pregnancy hormones and i don't need anyone to needlessly push me over the edge.
Craigslist is online. www.craigslist.org. Look for the biggest city near you, and that's your local one. Freecycle is also online. They usually operate by Yahoo Groups. Google Freecycle plus your town, I'm sure you have one.
sorry to cause such a stir. i'm done with this post because it is doing nothing but making me feel like i'm failing before i'm even starting. here is what i know, we are doing everything we can to get the best for our children as cheaply as humanly possible. every parents wants the best for their children and i am no different. i am not buying up 2 of everything and will be continually seeking ways to cut costs of nursery items. i plan on breastfeeding but am preparing for the possiblity that i may not be able to. i've asked everyone at my baby showers to bring diapers. i'm getting things that are on sale and that have discounts. the furniture, yes it is expensive but when the consignment shops are charging $250 per crib the price at the stores don't seem as bad especially since we get an additional 10% off for having multiples. i live in a retirement community, people here don't have babies they burry them..sad but true. so finding things local that are used is extremely difficult. i'm very happy that you were all able to find things so cheaply. i have not been so fortunate. yes i have high expectations but i'm also realistic in knowing that we don't have a lot of money. and in knowing that we are trying to get as few things as possible and most of it will wait until after the showers so we know what we have left. currently i can't work so i can't bring in any extra income, we have to make due with what we have and hope that family is willing to help out where they can. i'm sorry that things have gotten out of control and i'm sorry that you seem to think so little of me in that you assume that i want everything and anything in multiples just because i am having twins. bare in mind that this is my first pregnancy and these are my first children and i will be doing what i can when i can. this is a learning experience for me and i learn as i go. so having said that thanks for the tips.
QUOTE(haleystar @ Feb 17 2009, 05:01 PM) [snapback]1193769[/snapback] and i don't really find it necessary to try and make me feel even worse by saying thigns like "i don't know how you could think you could afford one baby". this was not a planned pregnancy. i was not taking fertility treatment. this was a complete and total surprise, accident even. so i don't appreciate the assumption that we planned this pregnancy knowing full well that we didn't have the money. please resist the urge to judge people needlessly. i joined this site for support and i feel like there is a huge backlash towards me for thinking certain things and reacting to certain things. i did not come here to get scolded for over estimating or venting about frustrations during pregnancy. if you can't say something in a constructive way, don't say it at all. if you don't agree with me and can't say thigns nicely than don't say anything at all. it's common courtesy and i would hope that you would respect that. I've been feeling this way for a few weeks around here...
Wow, I have been reading this post on and off all afternoon and this discussion has gotten a little heated. Hopefully I'm not adding fuel to the fire, but we'll see . First off, I thankfully don't know what it is like to live paycheck to paycheck. Both my husband and I have good jobs and even though I'm out on disability right now, money-wise everything is fine. It may not always be that way and I realize that. Economically speaking things are not exactly stable these days, we all know that. As far as the cost of twins, I'm no expert, since mine aren't here yet, but you can go out of control over what you think the babies need. I agree with people who have said wait til after your shower and see what you get there. Yes we were registered, and we got a ton of nice things from my shower. There really were not any "useless" items in there. Many people bought off our registry, some did not. It all worked out in the end. We did register for only one swing, one bouncy seat, one playmat, one pack n play...not knowing who would like or prefer what. As people said I don't need two swings sitting in my living room taking up space if both babies don't want the swing. We figured we could always add things later ourselves if we needed them. Yes, we got a ton of new, unused items, but that was our families choice to buy all that stuff. Yes there was a registry but I didn't tell anyone to go to the registry and buy me things. That was there choice. We also registered for quite a few items that convert and can be used for a few years. With two on the way we wanted to get maximum use out of as much as possible. When you are looking for things, look for things you can use for a few years. Our highchairs for example, can tilt back to be infant seats, sit upright to be highchairs, and be configured some way and turned into booster seats when they are toddlers. That being said, we did purchase their furniture and mattresses ourselves. Some people asked us why and we explained we are having twins. We know we will need some extra things that one child would not need, like extra car seats, high chairs, etc...We had the money to buy ourselves the furniture and didn't expect anyone to pick up that expense for us. Total with mattresses we spent $1700, not a small amount, but not a fortune either. We only bought 2 cribs and a dresser that can be used a changing table and the 2 mattresses. We also bought converter cribs so we don't have to run out and buy toddler beds in a few years. Yes I know some people only get one crib to start, and that is their choice. I don't judge. We had the means to buy two at the same time and we chose to buy two. In the end, part of me felt bad we were going to need extra because they were twins. We didn't expect people to buy everything for us. In the end they are our children and we will be the ones providing for them. That being said, we started stockpiling diapers as soon as we found out it was twins. They don't go bad and we have ton to get us through the first few months. We keep buying because obviously we will need them for years and it will be less of a financial suprise if we only need to buy a pack or two a week. As for breastfeeding, I agree with people, it's free and great for the babies. I will be breastfeeding our girls to help cut down the cost of formula. If you want a pump I know there are some places that will rent them. I'm not sure if it is cheaper than buying, but it is another option to look into. As for family, you can't change people. I agree with others who said the financial aspects should not be discussed between people they don't involve. There is no reason to get upset over it, it's not going to change the situation. I'm not saying it's fair, I'm just saying it's not worth stressing over. I know my parents have done things for me and my sisters and I'm sure in the end it all evens out. However we are not keeping score. I mean when I was in the hospital 2 weeks ago my mom flew up here no questions asked to be with me. That's more important to me than how much money she spends on the babies. That being said both my mother and MIL spent money on my shower and gifts. That was their choice, the wanted to. I never asked or assigned things to be purchased. Yes you need things, but as many people have pointed out you can get things used and cheaper than the baby stores sell them for. You have lots of time, I think you're about 12 weeks along, don't stress over it. When I was little, looking back I know my parents didn't have a ton of money but we were always happy and they gave us everything they could. I grew up happy and wasn't overly spoiled. As you pointed out, there is nothing wrong with that. However one more thing...even though I've rattled on enough...I work for a bank. Be careful with those credit cards, it can get out of control faster than you think. I've seen it first hand. I know times are tough and have affected all of us, but just be careful.
QUOTE(haleystar @ Feb 17 2009, 05:06 PM) [snapback]1193776[/snapback] and to the person who asked what if we max out our cards to get the babies needs met, i'm not worried about that because we are not close to maxing them out. our credit is good, fortunately, and have a good bit of credit to spare. Then what's the problem? Go buy whatever you think you need to buy on credit ... You should be fine. I'm sorry, but this site is full of women who are pregnant with twins, and MORE importantly, already have them. So they are going to tell you lots of different ways to save money, and what you need and don't need. Seems like you really don't want to hear any of the advice, as you seem to find a way to dismiss everything. Anyway, good luck. I'm sure in the end, you will find a way to get everything you really need.
Totally agree with Erica. You need to sign up on freecycle, post your needs on there and craigslist. Also contact your local church. You should be able to get almost everything you need for very little. Your MIL has her own ideas and if you are relying on her for anything you really just need to accept it and move along.
I didn't read a reply to the question if you were having a shower or not. You'll get so much of what you need/want from there! Everything else will come it's way!
sorry you are so upset about this! :hug: It makes me a bit uncomfortable hearing about one person's expectations of how much another person should spend and on what they should spend their money on. Yes, it is nice when our parents are generous enough to buy us things but I just don't think it should be an expectation. Being treated unfairly by a parent stinks but is also not unusual. I wouldn't even go there. That's between dh and his mom. I agree with pp's that say $5,000 sounds like a lot to me. How about craigslist for 2nd hand items. Do you have freinds that can hand down clothes. There are so many ways to get what you need more reasonably priced. Being with my dh for 18 years now, I realize that having any kind of expectations (beyond the general basics of respect for others) for my MIL will just mean disappointment and frustration for me. It''s just not worth it. I realize this is not true for all. Sounds like it's true for your MIL. Don't expect fair treatment, don't expect anything. Life's not fair, bottom line. Accept her for who she is and how she does things. It is not worth your time and energy to waste over her. Life is too short.
QUOTE(haleystar @ Feb 17 2009, 05:09 PM) [snapback]1193275[/snapback] don't get me wrong, i get what you are saying and where you are coming from BUT you really are off base. i appologize if i made it seem like i expect her to pay for things for these babies, i don't. what i am is frustrated by the fact that she has 3 children and does not treat them equally. DH is considered the black sheep of the family because he is more liberal than his siblings and mother and therefor gets punished for it. i know for a fact that if DH lost his job we would be forced to deal with the consequences whereas if my SIL or BIL lost their jobs their mother would bend over backwards to make sure that they were financially covered. i am not exaggerating the financial help that she has given to her other children because she makes it well known and tends to hang it over everyone's heads. which in some respects i am glad that we haven't needed her help as i don't want her to have anything to hang over me but my children, her first grandchildren, do need the help. and speaking of things that we need to buy, like i said before, i am doing everything i can to get things as cheaply as possible. i've been on ebay for things and once you factor in shipping we simply CANNOT afford to pay for it unless it is on a credit card. the consignment shops in town are fine except that their furniture is THE SAME PRICE as those at the stores if not more and they don't take credit. yard sales and craiglist also only take cash or checks. and unfortunately no one that we know can get rid of or sell us baby furniture because they either don't have it or are still using it. so, for us, there is no way around shopping at the stores. and i'm not trying to get more than what is necessary but i'm also trying not to hold things to chance. i am buying things that they will need not necessarily what they will want. as i have told family members, my children may not have a lot of thigns but they will have a lot of love. so while i get that you are trying to get me to see the other side, please don't judge my situation. what i vent about is not an extension of the truth or a misconception of reality, it is reality. oh and clearance items are fine as long as it's not all the same stuff. what am i going to do with nothing but 100 newborn onesies? nothing, if you are going to buy things for my children at least make it functional. and like i said before, i am grateful for anything and everything that people give us and i don't assume or expect people to pay for things. but if you are going to contribute please do so in a way that is helpful. that's all that i ask and i don't think that it is asking a lot. Listen, hon, I'm not trying to judge, even though I know it sounds that way I *totally* get why your bugged by it all. It used to bug me about my family too. But right now the most important thing for you to do is stay stress free. Babies are the most important thing! I was trying to be helpful, not mean...honest! I know I can get such tunnel vision when I'm upset, that often times I need to hear someone tell me the other side, so I can go "You know what, I never thought of that!" Sometimes being helpful doesn't always involve teling people what they want to hear, and in truth I think right now, you are so upset and worried that you just want to hear that you're 100% right. And that's understandable, we all get that way from time to time. Especially when we're pregnant. Hang in there-I can promise you one thing, you'll figure it all out. (If your husband is a fireman, you're already married to a hero, and they tend to figure things out, those Knight in Shining Armour!) And once you see those babies, you won't give a crap about anything but them!
QUOTE(haleystar @ Feb 17 2009, 05:01 PM) [snapback]1193769[/snapback] and i don't really find it necessary to try and make me feel even worse by saying thigns like "i don't know how you could think you could afford one baby". this was not a planned pregnancy. i was not taking fertility treatment. this was a complete and total surprise, accident even. so i don't appreciate the assumption that we planned this pregnancy knowing full well that we didn't have the money. please resist the urge to judge people needlessly. i joined this site for support and i feel like there is a huge backlash towards me for thinking certain things and reacting to certain things. i did not come here to get scolded for over estimating or venting about frustrations during pregnancy. if you can't say something in a constructive way, don't say it at all. if you don't agree with me and can't say thigns nicely than don't say anything at all. it's common courtesy and i would hope that you would respect that. Sweetie, I think people are trying to help you and giving you great, constructive suggestions for alternatives that you are just refusing to listen to. You seem to think that no one should post if they don't agree with you, but from my perspective people are really trying to help. You can get baby stuff really, really cheap. And you need a lot less than you think you do. I'm sorry you don't want to see that - we all want more for our babies than we can afford - but really, people are right. You end up tripping over stuff you don't use that you thought you HAD to have. I barely ever use our changing table - and I would have sworn that I would not be getting up and down off the floor all the time to change diapers, but it's so much easier! You are better off with a dresser.
I think you've already recieved enough responses with a wide variety of opinions, but I wanted to address this one little thing in your post that spoke to me directly. QUOTE if i am having girls they will be non girly girls who like to play and get dirty (hopefully). It doesn't work that way. You don't get to choose your children's personalities, and no matter what type of influence you are they will be who they will be. I've never been a girly girl, I was a major Tom boy. Don't use a speck of makeup, the only jewlery I wear is a plain wedding band. I really really wanted to have boys because I wasn't sure how I'd handly a girly girl. I never put them in a dress until they were really good at walking, to me a dress on a crawler is cruel and unsual punishment. My girls didn't have ANY hair until they were like 18 months, so I never did bows or headbands or anything at all cute. We live on the edge of town and I encourage my girls to play and get dirty in the river, mud, what have you. We plant corn/beans/squash in the traditional Mexican way and they are in the fields with us. But guess what. They LOVE pink and ruffles and play jewlery and play make up. Maybe all the more because I didn't give it to them. From age 2 1/2 to age 4 they REFUSED to wear pants except when we were working in the fields and I told them jeans or you're not going. Their favorite christmas gift is a purse filled with play make up my aunt gave them. They get their aunts to give them elaborate hairstyles when ever they see them. I'm not saying that your girls will be like this. I just want to say--you can't choose. Oh and BTW there's no way that you have to spend 5k on baby gear. No way. Don't confuse convience and necessity. The baby gear industry tries to convience us that we "need" these things. It's okay to want them and to get them, but don't fool yourself into thinking you NEED that stuff. ETA: QUOTE yes i know they can share a crib at first but the fact of the matter is that they will need to be seperated so we might as well get it done now and have them both ready. BTW my girls are now 4 years 5 months old and they still sleep together. I do love my girly girls.
Why, oh why, can't I leave this thread alone?? I guess it's because it's troubled me since I joined the discussion. You are asking not to be judged and that is a reasonable request, but we are only able to make assessments and suggestions based on YOUR WORDS. While I agree that no one should be brow beaten, you've put some very mixed (and downright contradictory) statements out there. Heck, your stats says,"WERE PREGNANT...finally!" Um, that doesn't say "whoopsie" to me in ANY way, shape, or form. You spew venom about what your MIL wants to GIVE you, get mad when she doesn't want to buy you the Winnie the Pooh table and chairs you want (aka need...for infants?!), then you claim to be grateful for any help you get. I could go on. And you want us to believe that you are the ONLY woman with children (and hence, garage sales) within 100 miles of your home. Seriously. Oh, and retired people have garage sales, too, BTW. I'm sure you could find a dresser for about $5 in no time at all. Maybe not a crib, but so what? Isn't your father (who survives on only SS) "committing" to that already?? Furthermore, I frequent no less than 6 resale shops from the west coast of MI to the Detroit area and into NW Indiana and amazingly, they ALL take plastic. So again, you must live in a pretty weird place to not have a single option within an hour or so of your "rich" community. If resale doesn't cut it for you, Walmart (and DON'T tell me you don't have access to one of those!!!) has a dresser online right now for $40. Yes, they have plenty of $300 models and $100 models, too, but if you are that close to having to live on a park bench, then you have NO BUSINESS considering those. Again, my interpretation of your situation according to YOUR comment about why you can't do garage sales...they don't take plastic and you have NO money. As for that comment, I could write a small dissertation on how you could knock $20 (minimum) off your monthly bills to have garage sale $. If it's that bad, give up the internet service for starters. So here's my (slightly less pc than my last post) take on your situation: You need to study the definitions of "need" and "want," as well as "can't" and "won't." It'll go a long way for you. Planned or not, you are now responsible for TWO little lives. It is what it is. Assess your priorities and figure out what YOU can do to take care of your babies. No one owes any of us a dang thing. People's perceptions of what they "need" and what they are "owed" (by family, government, employers, whomever) are EXACTLY what has got our country in the heap of trouble it's in. It's time to come back down to earth and muddle thru like the rest of us. Visit a homeless shelter. You might find it enlightening as to what you REALLY need. I truly do wish you the very best for your pregnancy and beyond. We are a special little group of people that face a lot of challenges and fears that most other people don't understand, so I think it's important that we stick together and help each other out whenever/however possible. Although some of the replies were a bit more harsh than others, I do think peoples' intentions were in the right place overall. We were just trying to help how we could, and really felt as if our suggestions were falling on deaf ears. Hopefully that's not the case, as I, for one, want to see you have a happy, healthy pregnancy and enjoy parenthood to the fullest, no matter what "stuff" you do or don't have. Eve
WOW!! First of all let me apologize for not stopping in this thread sooner :blush: Kristine, I am sorry you are feeling badly about some of the responses you received in response to your post :hug: I remember all too well how I felt when I was expecting my girls. I was PETRIFIED that if I didn't have everything possible that I wouldn't be prepared. We ended up getting every last thing (some we purchased but most were gifts from my baby showers). Sure it is easy now to say that we didn't NEED half the stuff we got, but you can only know that by going through it. With experience comes knowledge and I think that some people easily forget the feelings we had as expecting parents of twins!!! I don't want this conversation to leave a bad taste in your mouth about Twinstuff. This is a VERY supportive community where we want you to feel comfortable expressing your feelings and opinions. Just as it is in 'real life' there will always be people who disagree with your choices/statements etc - I am hoping that you can take from this all the good advice & leave the negative stuff behind
we got our beautiful matching cribs and changing table from a tag sale the lady also had a set of twins. our bouncy chairs, jumperoos, exersaucers etc all came from craigslist or tag sales. there is no way we had $5,00.00 for baby things when we were pregnant with the twins. my FIL bought over a hundred dollars worth of clothes i just asked for the reciept to get some different sizes and exchanged all the clothes and bought diapers. he never noticed. baby stuff only gets used for so long so you can get a lot of nice thing in great shape and resell when your done
I remember when I as pregnant with my first DD, I wanted everything to be perfect, "newish",etc. Then I had her and learned a lot about what it's really like to have a baby, how briefly they wear (and poop on) those clothes and toys and gadgets! It's funny to me to see that when I was pregnant with the twins I did things a little different. We are fine financially, but I didn't see the point in putting money into something so temporary. So...I found a second crib in someone's trash. Brought it home, cleaned it up, DH and his dad re-glued it to make it sturdy. One of the swings I found in a trash pile, the other was 8$ at a thrift store. All the toys were donated and borrowed. My MIL took one look at how filthy one toy was when I found it and told me to throw it out, she'd buy me a new one. I proved her wrong, cleaned it up, and she didn't even believe me it was the same toy. It's fun! What I spent the most money on was the fabric for the quilts and bumpers I made while on (self imposed)bedrest, and I would like to think they will have those their whole lives. That's the kind of place I want to spend money. Hope it works out for you! Borrow, borrow, borrow!
QUOTE(haleystar @ Feb 17 2009, 05:01 PM) [snapback]1193769[/snapback] i joined this site for support and i feel like there is a huge backlash towards me for thinking certain things and reacting to certain things. i did not come here to get scolded for over estimating or venting about frustrations during pregnancy. QUOTE(oh-baby-baby @ Feb 17 2009, 05:58 PM) [snapback]1193858[/snapback] I've been feeling this way for a few weeks around here... I am really sorry you are both feeling this way. :hug: Kristine, I am sorry that your MIL can't find a way to help you out with some of the larger items since you could really use it. :hug: I remember feeling overwhelmed at thinking everything I would need for twins. I hope you find a solution.
QUOTE(haleystar @ Feb 17 2009, 04:45 PM) [snapback]1193841[/snapback] sorry to cause such a stir. i'm done with this post because it is doing nothing but making me feel like i'm failing before i'm even starting. here is what i know, we are doing everything we can to get the best for our children as cheaply as humanly possible. every parents wants the best for their children and i am no different. i am not buying up 2 of everything and will be continually seeking ways to cut costs of nursery items. i plan on breastfeeding but am preparing for the possiblity that i may not be able to. i've asked everyone at my baby showers to bring diapers. i'm getting things that are on sale and that have discounts. the furniture, yes it is expensive but when the consignment shops are charging $250 per crib the price at the stores don't seem as bad especially since we get an additional 10% off for having multiples. i live in a retirement community, people here don't have babies they burry them..sad but true. so finding things local that are used is extremely difficult. i'm very happy that you were all able to find things so cheaply. i have not been so fortunate. yes i have high expectations but i'm also realistic in knowing that we don't have a lot of money. and in knowing that we are trying to get as few things as possible and most of it will wait until after the showers so we know what we have left. currently i can't work so i can't bring in any extra income, we have to make due with what we have and hope that family is willing to help out where they can. i'm sorry that things have gotten out of control and i'm sorry that you seem to think so little of me in that you assume that i want everything and anything in multiples just because i am having twins. bare in mind that this is my first pregnancy and these are my first children and i will be doing what i can when i can. this is a learning experience for me and i learn as i go. so having said that thanks for the tips. I have two fantastic totally oak, beautiful cribs that I would be willing to sell to you if you would pay shipping, that's it, just shipping. Solid oak and they match. If you're interested, PM me!! It will definitely cost you less than $250 a crib!!
QUOTE Assess your priorities and figure out what YOU can do to take care of your babies. No one owes any of us a dang thing. Well said. As for those complaining that they don't find this site supportive..... Aside from the helpful responses, here's an example of how nice the people here are. QUOTE I have two fantastic totally oak, beautiful cribs that I would be willing to sell to you if you would pay shipping, that's it, just shipping. Solid oak and they match. If you're interested, PM me!! It will definitely cost you less than $250 a crib!!
Have you checked WalMart for cribs?? We ended up getting ours there. After having a late term loss coming to the reality of a pregnancy let alone a twin pregnancy was very hard for me. We did not even have cribs for them when they were in the NICU. My mom went to Wal Mart and bought them for our girls. I think they were around $120 each. We decided to Co Bed so the girls never slept in them at all. When they napped they slept in their pack n play. In the end I was just happy that my girls were born alive and healthy, everything else was just stuff.
Nothing my twins had matched. Almost everything was used. I even had an old wind up swing! The only new thing we had was our double stroller, which my parents bought. It was a Graco Duoglide, not some super expensive brand. You know what? They were happy babies and are now very well adjusted 6 year olds. None of that matters. My Dh has a good job and is paid well, I just refuse to spend money on things that in the long run don't matter. My children have never been in need and have always been well cared for. So what if Aaron's crib was white and Connor's was oak? Their changing table was not what I would have picked and their clothes were mostly hand me downs. They were clean, fed and loved beyond measure. I am a huge Thrift store person, and even now I buy a lot of their things there. They have a beautiful wardrobe filled with wonderful clothes that average $2.00 at the thrift store. Some of their best Christmas presents this year came from freecycle. Life is not about providing a Pottery Barn existence.
You will just have to wait for your babies to arrive to get the jist of what we are all trying to tell you - NEW isn't always better. Ebay has been my best friend. The amount of money that I saved on clothes was staggering! And, you can pay by credit card. It is almost too easy. I don't know that I've seen this suggested yet, but look for a multiples group in your area. They tend to be more regional in nature, but they also have garage sales for multiples! It's the perfect demographic. As far as support goes, I haven't been in expecting for ages (we're almost 3), but it was a huge support. As with any internet site, put out a thread that may make you look self-serving and spoiled and be prepared for those of us who have BTDT that fire back. We got about 100 words to make a judgment on. Welcome aboard to TS. It's time to focus.
I see you are in Florida. I'm close to Cocoa Beach and the president of our twins club is the president of the state club. If you don't mind sharing your general location I'm sure we can find the club in your area. We do exchanges and hand me downs through our club and they might be able to help you with finding what you need or just the logistics of finding it cheaper. If you are close to me, I have some things that I haven't gotten rid of yet from the baby phase.
Haleystar, I am sorry you have gotten the backlash, some posts have been down right rude. Even though I have to agree with some of what was said, I am sure that it could have been worded a little more nicely. What purpose does it serve to speak so unkindly to someone. Please move on and and forget the rudeness. I too got some serious backlash when I posted on the fact that I was pi**ed when my SIL used the same middle name as my son. However I have moved on and find the website entertaining and sometimes helpful! Enjoy your pregnancy and hopefully all things will fall into place for you!
One of the things that keeps catching my attention is the talk about credit cards. Please, if you can't afford to pay for it don't "borrow" from the credit card company and pay that much more. Using credit is just putting off the inevitable, take it from a family who really wracked up credit card debt and is now finally free of it. I can't stress enough about freecycle, people are wonderful on there. Newborn clothes are bound to look new because they aren't outside playing.
QUOTE(elara @ Feb 19 2009, 02:38 PM) [snapback]1196295[/snapback] I see you are in Florida. If you don't mind sharing your general location I'm sure we can find the club in your area. I am in Orlando and our twins club is having our big sale on Saturday, March 28th. Definitely worth the drive if you arent too far.
Here is a link to page one of 13 pages of Freecycle networks in FL- there are 127 groups, surely you can find one close to you.
I guess what I don't understand is how one can justify using a credit card if they have no free moneyy now? If you don't have free money now you never will if you rack up $5000 on a credit card. This is not being said to be mean just a question I have been sitting on since I started reading this post. We are in a good situation finacially but we weren't always. I just hate to see your hole deeper with credit card debt. As far as expecting you family to contribute, that I don't really understand either. I am a mother of 3 other children and now expecting twins so I don't have the twin experience that most of these women already have on here but it doesn't take experience to realize you don't EXPECT people to buy for you. Be thankful you have family that are willing to give you something even if its not exactly what you want. I think people are less likely to contribute when you tell them what to give you. I know I wouldng be. Instead of worrying about the material things that people are or are not giving you....try building a bond or some tradition that your MIL can have with the children....this is the stuff your children will remember not all the onsies she bought them. I am a teacher with a child development degree. If you cannot afford all that material stuff then don't stress over it. Children will develop without the brand name things. When it comes to toys there are things you can make at home that will teach the same skills as the toy bought stuff and often mean mores because Mommy took the time to make it with them or for them (i.e. a memory game... make one out of old magazines instead of buying the milton bradley version...then you can make many varieties for a fraction of the cost of one). There are ways around things. I guess my final thought. I know these are your first and I know the feeling of wanting to give your children everything however most important for them is to have a stress free mommy right now and even in the future. What they need from you and your family the most is your love and attention. If you give them that I guarantee you they will remember that and not that they only had one bouncy seat or a used one. I have worked with plenty of kids that have everything under the sun but have never had their parents take the time out of their day to sit down and read books with them. It breaks my heart. I have also worked with children that have used items and sometimes don't know where their next meal is coming from but have parents who are never late for a p/t conference and there to do homework with them every night. Happiness does not come from a store. So please sit back and reflect on how much more you can give your child than what is in the stores. That may also mean sucking up some of your frustration with your MIL so your children can have a relationship with her. Best of luck! I am sure it will all work out in the end. Like someone else send in a pp when those beautiful babes come you will see that the small stuff doesn't matter...at least I hope so.
