I need advice about my oldest

Okay, where to begin. I don't have anyone IRL that would have any insight into this, so I come to you! My oldest will be 10 next week. She is in 5th grade with kids that are all already 10 or turning 11 based on when she started school in MD and the cut off date here in SC. She is a bit immature in some ways for a 5th grader imo but she seems to be sort of inbetween the little elementary school kid and the preteen. She has befriended a child on the bus that is in second grade. Why SHE sits with himi and MY second grader doesn't, I have never figured out. Well, this boy's mom left me a message yesterday that her son wants to have a playdate with Megan. I immediately thought, "no way!". But then I thought about it a little. I hate to turn away a chance to get to know another mom, maybe they have other kids and we can do like mom/kid get togethers. I don't know, it just seems weird to me to have a second grader come over for a playdate with my fifth grader when I also have a second grader. What do you think/what would you do? Am I overthinking it? :umm:

 

I would go for it. I think as kids get older, their playgroup can expand to a larger age span based on common interests. I know that my boys are happy to play with the younger sibling of a friend at times. Maybe call back the other mom and make it a family playdate at a park, that way all the kids can play together.

 

I wouldn't mind as she is a young 5th grader so they are really only a couple years apart in age. My DD has no kids her age in the neighborhood. When we first moved into the neighborhood she was 3 and it wasn't uncommon for our 11yo neighbor to come play with her (no other kids in the neighborhood at all). As the girls got a little older and her friend moved down the road 3 houses, and a new set of kids moved in (only 1yr young than the 11yo), the play dates slowed down. We still see the girl from time to time and she included DD in her church's VBS this summer which DD loved. I must admit I have bigger issues with the gender difference than the age difference (I know bad me since I hung out with as many boys as girls growing up but we were just so much more innocent back then). Just make sure you keep an eye on the kids so no accussing can be made for inappropriate behaviours. Kids are still curious at that age but with your DD being the older of the 2, she will be held more responsible if something goes on.

 

In my afterschool day care group I have kids from grade 1 to 5. There have been some really tight friendships formed between the age groups. Its sorta unusual for a girl and a boy of different ages to become good friends, my 9-10 year old girls view most of the younger boys as pests though they do love the one grade 1 boy.

I think you should have him over for a play date. I bet your second grader would join in too.

 

Thanks! I knew I'd get help here! I like the idea of a group outing to a park or something.

 

I would absolutely schedule a playdate for them.

Jackson is always one of the youngest in his class, and he has always gotten along better with kids in the grade behind him. Currently, his best friend is a 2nd grader (Jackson's in 4th). They really enjoy being together and have many of the same interests. I honestly don't even think about the age difference. He lives just one block over, so they spend a lot of time together. The friend's older brother is closer to Jackson in age, but they don't have as much in common and so have never hit it off as friends.

 

My 6 year old boys have a lot of older "girl" friends from the bus and the neighbors. They usually play, in the summer, with the girls next door who are 15 1/2 and 13 years old respectively. They also play with the girls behind our house who are 14 and 9 years old. They also play with the 14 1/2 year old boy that lives by my Parents. They have always loved playing with older kids. I don't see a problem with it, he probably see's her as "older sister" and she probably views him the same as "younger Brother" type relationship. Some kids need that interaction for self-fullfilment purposes. Hope that this helps.

 

Yeah why not, you do have a 2nd grader also maybe they will also become friends. My soon to be 10 yr. old SD still plays with a 5 yr. old across the street occasionally and so does her other friend on the street who is 12.

 

Sure, go for it.

When I was about 12-15yo, one of my best friends was four years younger. In my case, I was the youngest in my family and I think it was in part a "little sister" situation, but when the rest of my friends had outgrown playing Parcheesi and Monopoly and doing gymnastics, my younger friend still loved all of that stuff. I remember knowing that she was not my parents' favorite friend as they found my friendship with her a bit odd, but I still look back really fondly on the time we spent together. She moved away when she was 11 after her dad died unexpectely.