I hate Valentines Day and other daycare gripes

I don't even know where to begin with yesterday, so I'll just start at it was a no good, very bad day. We went and had hibachi for dinner (I was way too exhausted to cook!). It seemed I could actually watch the sugar fade from the girls' systems over our meal and, by the time we left, they both had full blown meltdowns. It was mortifying. I'm so grateful that the valentine crowds kept us from attempting anything nicer for dinner!

Okay, daycare. Sigh. Y'all know that we've got the girls in a preschool/daycare set up. Besides the old issue with crappy food being given by a grandma, we've been really happy there. The girls know some sight words, they know their letters and numbers, and the grandma stopped with the sweets when a new teacher came to our class. All good!

Since Christmas, though, we've noticed a dramatic uptick in the number of incident reports and a general increase in aggressive play. The afternoon teacher is a young girl and her hours are more daycare in function and it seems that all of the incidents happen on her watch. I've addressed the poor classroom management with the AM teacher and have seen very limited improvement for a few days and then a return to chaos.

This week alone:
Brayden S cut Samantha's hair. All scissors were removed from work stations.
Alexis had an accident (so unusual).
Samantha said Brayden S pushed her. No incident report or mention, I drop it.
Alexis said Morgan shoved a toy in her throat and she choked. No incident report, no mention. I called the afternoon teacher and she says she came over at the point that there were tears but she didn't know what happened. She comforted Alexis and they moved on.
Yesterday Paul walked in and the class was madness (predictably considering the sugar intake). He finds Alexis in the bathroom with wet pants while afternoon teacher is writing an incident report because she dropped a puzzle on herself. He changes Alexis, she's telling him that Brayden S threw the puzzle and it hit her in the face.

Now, I know my kids are not perfect. I suspect they tune out the teachers at time and I know they can be wound up by the other kids. But I feel like this afternoon teacher has NO control over the class and that it's Lord of the Flies in there.

Alexis's PT regression worries me. I'm not sure if she's reached the age where she's testing her ability to hold it (play > potty break) or if her nerves are shot and she's peeing.

I DO NOT like the physical aggression I'm hearing about between the kids. If Brayden S is a tougher boy (I would put money on him having an older brother), then special attention should be paid to him when he plays to redirect that kind of rough housing, right?

I've left a vm for the director requesting a Monday afternoon meeting and I've asked the AM teacher to call me this weekend (I don't want to go in blind). I have not reached out to the PM teacher, though, because she's so young and so socially immature that I don't think it would be a professional or productive talk. I just want to know how my kids are behaving before I go in to this meeting about the class at large and before my husband goes Education: Classroom Management 1001 on the director (and he will, he's got no patience with this since he teaches as well).

I don't know why I just typed all of that out except that it makes me feel better to share it. I'm just really disappointed and worried for my girls, Alexis is particular.

 

Good luck.  Let us know how it goes.  
 
I would be bring this all up to the director especially if the same group of kids are in the morning today without any issues.

 

:hug: good luck with your phone call this weekend and your meeting on Monday.

 

The one thing I hate about working is daycare. I feel like ours has too many teachers coming and going and i Hate it.
 
I hope your talk goes well on Monday. I wouldn't like going in the classroom to chaos, that's for sure.

 

Stephanie, I think you are handling this well.  It does sound to me like the PM teacher does not have firm control over the children if all of this stuff is happening.
Regarding Alexis and the PT regression, it could be her holding it too long because she does not want to stop playing.  We went through that with my daughter (who was our ace pottier!) because she did not want to stop what she was doing.  But I would find out from the daycare what exactly is going on to make sure there is nothing else that could be causing the PT regression (is she having accidents at home too?)
 
Let us know how it goes with your talk to the director and AM teacher.

 

High sugar days are hell. I have older kids who stuffed themselves with sugar and did nothing but party and watch the Olympics from 9-12:30 at school yesterday then came to us beyond hyped and "too sick for lunch can you call my mom?" (it was early release day) About 3:30 came the crash which was super fun.
 
It does sound like a classroom management issue. What is the ratio in there and is there only one teacher? (their age would be 1-8 here) A lot comes with training but there is a lot of instinct you have to have. Brayden sounds busy. That takes very special handling to channel that. 
 
As for her PT and regression vs wanting to play more. Could they put her on a check schedule. Every 45 minutes she gets asked if she needs to try. 

 

Ugh, daycare woes!
 
It sounds like she's letting a lot escalate. We see this too at our daycare. Our boys are not aggressive, but they will get riled up, especially if they're asked to sit a lot or focus for too long (like, hours.. not minutes). There is a boy in their class who is quite aggressive. The teacher just misses the cues. She tells me that all of this came out of nowhere, but if she was actually observing the kids behavior she would have seen that an hour ago they were looking antsy during circle time, then they didn't get to burn off that steam before heading to snack time, then tensions start to rise if someone does something at snack time.. and so on. Eventually tensions are high and everyone is yelling and hitting and going to the peace table and the teacher has no idea how it all got out of control. It's always the boys, it's always the same story every day.
 
Things we've suggested are to increase the opportunities for physical play, give the troublesome kids (including ours!) a special role or project instead of punishing them and giving them negative attention all the time, and just in general being more proactive about diffusing tension. Notice when kids are jostling against each other and things are starting to ramp up and head it off then. Meetings are good though; hopefully they're proactive and will help her get the class under control.
 
As for the peeing, we go through periods of regression too. I notice that Miles in particular has a regressive period when he hits other developmental milestones. It's just sort of too much for him to think about all at once.
 
And Kendra, can we just start a twinstuff daycare with you as our fearless leader??????

 

no. too much paperwork. I'm in it for the fun. 

 

I've been subbing at a preschool this year. Every classroom has it's own atmosphere, due in part, of course, to the mix and age of kids but even moreso, IMO, due to the teacher. There is always at least two teachers with each class. I can sub in the same room with Teacher A and the day will be smooth, sub with Teacher B another day and it's loud and chaotic the whole time.
 
It does sound like this teacher just can't handle this class. Maybe she needs a different age group, additional training or maybe she isn't cut out to be a preschool teacher.  I think bringing your concerns to the director is the right thing. I would write out a list of every incident you can think of, and start documenting them.

 

I hope the meeting goes well and you can get some things resolved.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that. But personally, I think it's the teachers and the schools. Kids usually go with the flows.

We do love our Catholic school so much. My kids do pick up some bad habits. But no biggies, it doesn't take long to correct them. And they do learn so much good stuffs there beside knowledge...

One thing I love about our school is all the teachers are old and have many yr experience and teacher awards... And they only have the same teachers for the whole yr. they know what type of kids they deal with right away. And I never see any whiny kids when I drop off/pick up. All the kids seem very happy and enjoy

I am not sure if you would like to change school. But we have changed 3 schools and finally we found ours! Good luck!

 

I'm somewhat satisfied right now and am tentatively optimistic.

On Saturday the AM teacher gave great feedback on the girls. She said that they are happy and adjusted kids and that she's very pleased with their progress. Her two notes were that the girls tune her out on occasion (they do) and that they yell at one another when upset (yes, they do. Made me consider whether Paul and I are used raised voices in an appropriate manner. Made me a little sad, but it's important to know). She was very supportive and even encouraging about speaking with the director.

The director caught me during a break today and we spoke enough on the phone that I decided not to go in (Paul was okay once I reported back). First, the PM teacher is already being moved. They have her replacement picked and are only waiting for the background check to come in. She is an older teacher and she's got a lot of experience and a more structured way of running her room. The director understood all of my concerns and agreed that classroom management was at the root of all of them. Free play just isn't realistic for almost five hours with four year olds- they need activities and stations and much more stimulation. She also took down the name of the child who is often the aggressor in stories so that she could alert the teachers to watch his play style and redirect him as needed. She said she was familiar with him but didn't expand- I think she was acknowledging that we weren't alone without sharing more than necessary.

I'm willing to ride out this transition for the greater benefits of this school, I just expect to see some positive changes soon.

 

That's good that the problems were on their radar and they are doing something about it. That's huge, actually. Not every teacher is going to work out.. I am just sorry that you had to get stressed about it! Hopefully all turns around soon.

 

They seem willing and able to respond to your concerns. It sounds like they are worth another shot to me.

 

I am glad you got a good response from the director and I hope things turnaround.

 

That sounds promising.  Hopefully the new PM teachers starts soon. 

 

Sounds like your situation is resolving, but I wanted to comment on the PT regression.  My Twin A had the same thing, but with poop.  We went for a period of about 2 months (when she was approximately 43 - 44 months) where she would poop in her pants 2 out of every 3 days.  I wish I could say that I had some magic cure that had fixed it, but if I did something right I don't know what it was.  Like you suggest, I think Twin A was also not liking taking time out from play to do her business.  We kept talking with her about it and the situation was eventually resolved.  We kept pointing out that it took her a lot of time to have a fit instead of sitting on the potty and trying when we asked, and it took more time to clean up an accident.  We also kept suggesting she listen to her body.  We still think she holds it until the point of bursting, but she hasn't had an accident in over a month.  I hope you haive the same thing.  Good luck.
 
Oh, and finding good care SUCKS!  I totally empathize with your day care frustration.