I cant stop crying

My DD Greta is clapping when we say "clap clap clap" and she pulls herself up. My other DD does not clap or even show signs that she's headed in that direction and she doesn't pull herself up either. It never occurred to me that the difference between the two of them was something I caused. I bet when other mom's tell you the differences in their children you don't think the differences are caused by bad mothering. Deep down you know that the difference in speech is not your fault. Twins have been a true study in nurture vs. nature for me. My two have had the exact same nurturing yet their natures could not be more different.

That said, I am just shocked that they are looking for these things at 10 months. My girls are just weeks away from that and not saying words. They babble, but I can't imagine them saying words anytime soon. Your DD sounds advanced. Maybe I just don't know the speaking milestones...

Not sure about textures. I've not heard how that correlates with anything under a year old, but my son (14) refused veggies for a LONG time - I still struggle with him. I used to joke that his diet was beige and orange...anything cheese and carb. He's fine.

 

For those of us with older kids who have been there, done that, it is easy for us to say, "Relax, he will develop in his own time." But I know and understand the frustration that delays can cause.

Buuuuuut, I am one that is going to say just relax and enjoy every precious moment with your babies. I would like to think that I have two fairly well-adjusted, bright three year olds. But, they were late talkers, late walkers (heck, we had an eval on Hannah at 11 mos because she still was not rolling over), and just took longer than their peers to develop. Now, you would never know. They are articulate (well, they are quiet around others, but quite talkative at home) with an extensive vocab, they can write their names and most letters, and they amaze us more and more each day with the new things they pick up.

I am just sharing these things because I wish that I had spent less time worrying about what my kids COULD NOT DO at that age, and spent more time enjoying what they COULD DO.

 

QUOTE(twoin2005 @ Jun 10 2008, 12:39 AM) [snapback]818784[/snapback]
I am just sharing these things because I wish that I had spent less time worrying about what my kids COULD NOT DO at that age, and spent more time enjoying what they COULD DO.


I have older kids also and posted ealier in the thread. I SOOOO have to second this because I spent way too much time worrying about and analyzing what Ethan couldn't do instead of all the wonderful things he could do. In the end it didn't matter. I don't get a do over though !

Mendy

 

my niece is 15 months and still isnt using words...
she eats well, and had all her milestones on time... except she didnt get teeth until abou 14 months.

 

QUOTE(MissyEby @ Jun 9 2008, 04:19 PM) [snapback]818115[/snapback]
He is only 10 months old!! Does he take the bottle/breast?? That is all he NEEDS for the first year! introducing food before that is "practice". Talking....he will speak in is own sweet time...especially if he has a chatty sister that will communicate for him. That happened with my older sons...(17 & 16) they were 13 month apart. the younger didn't start really talking til age 3. We had EI involved and speech therapy....and now...you can't shut him up! :lol: the irony of it all!

Love that little man of yours. You are a fantastic Momma!


seriously he isnt 3 why worry about speech? jake just turned 3 and is begining to talk now,his chatty brother does all the talking :lol: its premature to be thinking of therapy im very surprised its even an issue at 10 mos! :hug: dont worry about it, my 2 boys were slow to do anything including eating chunky foods without choking!

 

:hug99: Everyone has said everything so well. He will develop in his time and evaluating him now does seem very premature.

 

Wow, it doesn't sound like Thomas is delayed - it sounds like Elizabeth is advanced! My twinks didn't START walking until 17mos, and at 21mos, only have a few words (somewhere in the range of 10). Our EI program is not at all concerned, and is happy as long as they are making progress on their own schedule and are happy and healthy babies. And gee, they have issues with texture too (one twink doesn't like the feel of meat)...but we just keep offering it to her. She'll get it eventually - and so will Thomas! *HUG* - but relax, it'll come to him in time. He's still so young!

 

You're a great mom! Having twins is a very hard and stressful job so, don't beat yourself up! Look at everything you have taught them so far, they couldn't have done it without you!
My ped told me that boys will develope at their own pace!

 

I did not read all the pp but.........

Tammy, you are a wonderful mother. I read a lot of your posts and you always have wonderful ideas and thoughts. I worry about my little Nathan also. He is 9 months old has no teeth, can't crawl, cries if you put him down at all, does not sleep in his crib over night, does not like to "explore", hardly ever is happy like smiling. I worry about him constantly. My DD is right on track though with her development. She is also right on track with her weight. DS is still only 13 lbs at 9 months old.

My DS #1 was walking at 10 months old. DS #2 did not walk until well after 18 months old. I think some babies just take their time more so than others. My babies are so different but sometimes it is so hard not to compare them.

Tammy, you are on the right track. You love your babies and you are a wonderful mommy. Take care.

 

DS 6 did not get Kindergarten. He was very behind and still is. I beat myself up over it and thought I was a terrible parent. I was nearly always the smartest person in my class, so I just could not figure out how I could have failed my child so bad. I finally realized that is was not bad parenting, just a slow learner. Some kids are just slower than others and there is nothing you can do about it. I, like you have, sought help and am now getting him the additional help he needs. That is all we as parents can do.

 

Oh Tammy, you are not a bad mommy. My boys are approaching 22 months and Joseph barely says anything. I know he can hear and understand, he responds to sound and comes when he is called by name. Every child has their own timetable. At 10 months enjoy them being babies...don't press for them to grow up too quickly. I miss that age so much. If EI has a plan work with them, but do not question yourself.

 

please don't feel that this is your fault, you couldn't have made this happen if you had wanted to, I promise.
I worked in EI, and I usually don't post but I had to here, I hope you feel better after reading what everyone has said.
If they are recommending these services for you at his age it means that there is a concern, right? That is why it is called EARLY intervention. The earlier you get in, the more of an effect can be made- before a child is really delayed and there are many problems... and if you say there is a history of autism I promise you they are just trying to be more safe than sorry. Plus, if there is a concern about textures, or the way his muscles in his mouth and throat are working, speech therapists can also help you with this. Some babies have to learn how to eat, and yes I have worked with 5 year olds who can't eat food, though usually for much more serious issues. The reason they are only coming one time per month is that they will be teaching you activities and exercises that you can do with him since you know him best and spend the most time with him. Please don't worry, if they were really concerned, you would be having speech at least once per week.
Also has he had his hearing checked? This is always a concern when babies aren't playing with sounds and babbling. Again, to the poster who noted that why would someone look at speech when they aren't even three, this is what early intervention does. The brain develops the most from the ages of 0-3 and it is proven that early intervention helps kids catch up! Most will not need long term help, and I've had plenty of kids "graduate" out of services when they don't need them anymore.
you are a good mommy!!

 

Tammy,

I'm just repeating what everyone else has already said... but I had to add:

YOU ARE A GREAT MOM!!!

If Thomas is a bit delayed in his speech it's not anything you did or didn't do. If that was the case, Elizabeth would be delayed too! But even then... some kids are really quick to learn things and others take a while to get to the same place. That doesn't mean that Thomas will always be behind Elizabeth, it just means he's taking longer to get the hang of textures and sounds.

Either way, I, too, am surprised that EI thinks there's anything of concern. From what I've read on here, Thomas sounds like he's right on track and Elizabeth is way ahead of schedule. None of us here know your exact situation, but from what you've posted before and today, it doesn't really sound like Thomas is showing any of the true signs of autism either.

So please... take a deep breath... give yourself a hug... remind yourself that you're doing a great job. Your kids are just fine and working with EI once a month will only confirm that for you!!

 

Tammy you are doing a wonderful job. Please don't cry. I have read your posts and I think he is doing wonderful and you are too. I would imagine it would be hard to have a boy and a girl at the same time. I know that my oldest dd and my nephew are 24 days apart and she did things way before him. Hope and Grace did not crawl until they were 10 months and they only have 2 teeth now and they are not even close to walking. Grace just started pulling up and trying to cruise around the furniture. They use to say dada but very rarely say it now. They pretty much will say momma and that is it. You are doing great. All kids develop different. Do you think they are trying to compare him to elizabeth?

 

QUOTE(Tammy Fine @ Jun 9 2008, 03:56 PM) [snapback]818064[/snapback]
I feel so bad. I dont know what I did to my poor sweet Thomas!

Nothing...having twins has taught me that all babies develop at different paces. Having a girl and a boy probably makes it even more obvious. Don't get down on yourself. I am surprised EI is even involved considering their age. I imagine it wouldn't be so glaring if you only had him!! It will all be okay

 

Tammy - like everyone else has said -- your are a GREAT Mom!! You did nothing wrong. But, I also agree - it seems like Thomas is on track and Elizabeth is just ahead of the game. My girls JUST learned to walk and they are 13 months old, and aren't using words yet at all.

Hope you are feeling better!

 

QUOTE(Tammy Fine @ Jun 9 2008, 08:35 PM) [snapback]818461[/snapback]
My PED is concerned because he drinks between 6 and 12oz. of milk daily, 2 or 3oz. of water and grilled cheese pretty much. He will also eat other carbs. No veggies or fruits though.

As for the speech, he seriously only babbles DADA and makes no other sounds at all.

Oh and he is 11 months tomorrow!



Oh sweetie, please enjoy what he can do now & worry about that stuff later. That food stuff describes my 5 year olds now & there is nothing wrong with them. They are just stubborn. They also didn't talk much till close to 2.5 when it all started flowing in full sentences.

Cody only says mama & dada now, but doesn't asociate them with us. He is still very young. Your baby girl is just showing her gender. Girls are usually more advanced.

 

Don't beat yourself up ... you are a great mother or else you would not be concerned. All of my children have developed at different paces. My second child barely talked even up to 2.5 and then received speech therapy and by 3 she was at age level and now at 4 she is sufficient and graduated from the program. Every child develops differently.

BTW - my niece literally ate nothing until 3 yo. And I mean nothing. They brought her to EVERY specialist in the area and they received ALL types of advice. Now at the age of 4 she eats WAAAYYY better than my kids and is doing fine. She is still little for her age but that is just her. She is doing great.

Things always have a way of working out ... it is just stressful getting there.