I can't believe I'm actually posting here!

Hi, ladies. I truly cannot believe I am posting here. Add me to the list of women who endured years of infertility, countless IUIs, and finally IVF in order to conceive... and now, I'm pregnant spontaneously.

The best way to describe my state of mind right now is overwhelmed. DH and I decided that when the boys turned 1, we'd start trying on our own just to give it a shot. Obviously, we had decided we'd welcome another baby. We decided that if trying naturally didn't work (which we DID NOT expect it to--it hadn't before), we'd consider doing a FET.

When I took a pregnancy test just to rule it out so I could have a glass of wine, you could have picked my jaw up off of the floor (and DH's) when it turned positive. I'm now 7w1d (still very early) and we saw the heartbeat today.

I am happy, but am feeling totally overwhelmed because I guess having another baby in theory is quite different than when it becomes reality. All I can think of now is how I'm going to do this with 3 kids aged 2 and under... 3 in diapers, 3 in car seats,... 3 to take care of alone most days (and I know there are some women who have multiple multiples--I have no idea how!!!!!)! These are the things I guess I didn't consider much when we decided to 'give it a shot' ;-).

It's been a long winter and I feel so cooped up with the boys. We're just now getting out a little. How will I do this with 3? There are days when I feel so defeated by my little 18 monthers (such as yesterday with bad naps, whining, fighting over toys, not listening,...) that I have no idea how I will manage 3. I know I'm not the first person in the world who will have 3 children, but the ages will be so close.

Also, how do you do it during the third trimester when you must be so tired and it must be physically difficult to do much at all (baths, up and down stairs with toddlers,...)?

Any words of advice/encouragement are appreciated. I'd like to hear your tips on what/how to prepare and/or how you will do/did it when the baby arrives. I really cannot believe I'm even writing this! I want to be happy and enjoy this pregnancy and the thought of a new baby. I'm just so stunned.

Thanks much ladies!

 

Congratulations!! Really, I was in your place a few months back and now we are four months into this and are loving every (well most every) minute of it! Keep in mind, your boys will be much more independent and able to do stuff for themselves by the time #3 arrives. During my pregnancy, I never really considered that, but it does make a huge difference now. In retrospect, I would say the last few weeks of the pregnancy were the hardest so far. It took us a few weeks to settle into a new routine and yes, there is really very little down time during the day, but it's fabulous seeing the boys love up their little sister and her face lights up any time they come into view for her. Priceless! If you can find paid help/in-laws/friends to pitch in during the last few weeks, it might help.
In terms of getting out: we do it every day. I use a sling for the baby a lot. I expect that once she's too heavy, the boys are going to be better listeners in traffic (city dwellers, no car, using public transportation a lot) and won't need a stroller for most errands so I can take her in the single. Otherwise, I take the double stroller and put one boy and the baby in and let the other one walk. I honestly can say that I don't even remember why that all seemed complicated before the baby can.
So, bottom line: you can totally do it! Of course there will be times when it's all too much and you just want to lock yourself up in the bathroom. But from someone who is so lucky to be in your shoes already I can only say the most heart-felt congratulations!!!

 

My twins were 23 months old when Liam was born. I was sometimes intimidated taking all three of them out, but I got over it and when I was overwhelmed, we just stayed home, went for walks in the carriage, etc. I found the places where I could manage to go with three kids (like the stores that had shopping carts to hold two toddlers and an infant. I went to library story time specifically geared to those three and under and I got help from family when I needed it.

You CAN do it! I am a survivor My twins are now in K and my baby in preschool. Congratulations!! And here's to a healthy 9 mos!!

 

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am in a very similar boat as you except that we had to do IVF for both pregnancies - but, you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned the idea of having another after twins is wonderful while the reality is a bit more scary and overwhelming. I have no idea how it is all going to work once baby girl arrives in a few months (my DH is currently deployed with the Army, btw, and is gone a lot with training and long work hours when he isn't deployed. he may or may not be back for the birth, as well, and he has been gone for almost this entire pregnancy). BUT, I can speak to how it has been being pregnant with young twins (mine just turned 2 a couple of weeks ago) up until this point.

Basically, I have tried to take it easy as much as possible by mainly just taking naps almost every day while the kids nap and going to bed early(ish) at night. I feel like I have the twins on a great schedule right now, so I try to enforce that and take advantage of that as much as possible. They sleep from 7-7:30 at night and are in their cribs for naps/quiet time from 12/12:30 - 3/3:30 every day. Getting the twins on a strict schedule has been key to my sanity, for sure.

I also live near family because of my DH's deployment and they have been pretty helpful with some of the errands and things around the house that I never seem to have the time or energy to do (mowing the lawn, lifting heavy things, helping me get my car in for repairs, taking the trash out to the curb every week for pickup, etc). They also help me with the kids on occasion and now that I am getting bigger and more uncomfortable, they have been coming by every other evening to help with baths so that I don't have to lift the kids as much. I have also started changing them on the floor and I have those feeding chairs that right now are on pub chairs but I may start putting their feeding chairs directly on the floor soon, too - ha! For the last few months I have also been encouraging the kids to walk to the car and get inside on their own, walk to their rooms after baths, and basically walk or stand for anything that I used to carry or hold them for. Recently I started getting a house cleaner to come 1x/month to do deep cleaning while I try to keep up with the basic stuff a little bit at a time throughout the day. Soon, I will start having her come every 2 weeks, I think.

Bottomline, I have slowly learned over the last few months how to take it easy, let the less important things slide, ask for help, and plan ahead a little more than normal. It is doable - just challenging at times. But, I am hoping that all these "lessons" that I am learning during the pregnancy will help me for when the baby arrives, too. Congratulations and best wishes for you!!

 

:woohoo: Congratulations!!!

 

Congrats!! Kinda in the same spot as you... Wondering how we will manage. I am 14 1/2 weeks with our 2nd set of twins!! The girls will be 3 are born if this set isn't born too early. We all did it with our twins tho so we can do it again, rite?!!!!!!!!

 

I can't imagine the struggles of 3 under 3 but we just found out at 21 weeks (our first ultrasound) that we're having twins. We already have three kids and it's been a huge shock. Even though they are 7, 5 and 2 1/2 I have concerns about how we'll make it, how we'll ever take a vacation or see a movie again. I especially worry about spending quality time with that many children or ever being able to work again at the job that I love. I do know that I will love them all and while I won't get out of this without smiles and tears it is going to be an unforgetable journey. Now I know that tomorrow I may wake up and be mad about it again but I'm just going to chalk that up to hormones! Best of luck and keep the faith!

 

I'm 27 weeks pregnant with my second set of twins, and my first set is only 14 months old. So, basically, they'll be 16 months apart. 4 under 18 months old. Stunning, isn't it? I've spoken to many other moms on this forum who have 2 sets of 2, so far no one has beat me in terms of close-together-ness!

I will tell you when I first found out, I was a wreck. I cried for 2 weeks straight. Yes, we were trying for a 3rd, but NO - we never in 1 millions years thought we'd have twins again. The first set was a result of some fertility drugs (not IVF though). This set was completely natural, and the biggest shock of my life. We were looking forward to having just 1 more... figured it would be a breeze after 2! As someone previously mentioned, I figured a Baby Bjorn would be for the new one, and two hands to hold with the older girls. Now - that goes out the window...

So, anyway, I haven't had them yet so I can't give you practical advice, but I will tell you that somewhere around month 4, I just relaxed about it. I can even tell you exactly when I relaxed: I had just dropped the girls off at daycare, got back into my (new, grrrrr) minivan and all of a sudden a wave of calm came over me. I told myself (and I still believe): "I don't know HOW we will do it, but I know we WILL do it. It'll all work out."

And it will. We will schedule our lives out to the minute, I suspect my husband and I will juggle "sets" of twin duties (inside the house and out of the house) - who feeds whom, etc. We will both do the daycare drop-off (I am going to still work, even though it will barely cover the daycare expenses, I can't see me taking care of all 4 all day long - it's not a job for just 1 person). We will both do double duty. I'm lucky he is around and such an amazing partner. We also have his family nearby, and will certainly need them more. My parents are lined up to come in 1 weekend a month so we can clean/grocery shop/maybe grab a bite to eat... We'll make it work.

And now, as I'm 27 weeks and closing in on the last 10, I can tell you I'm so, so, so looking forward to meeting the new girls and having my family complete. (No, we won't be trying for another... HA!). I saw them doing cartwheels in my belly during my ultrasound last Friday and I can't wait to see them, kiss them, integrate them into my family. The first -- what? 3? 4 years? -- will be insane. But I look foward to our future.

Just know that things usually work out. (Oh and hey, remind me of that when I'm freaking out due to lack of sleep and in about 3 months!!!).

Best of luck, you'll do great!

 

Thanks, everyone, for your replies! You have made me feel like this is doable.
Each day I feel a little calmer about the whole prospect. As many of you have said, we'll just figure it out!

Carrie- congrats to you! Wow! If you can do it, I can do it, right? Like you, I figure that in a few years, maybe our lives will return to some sense of normal-- or a new normal!

It'll be nice to have this forum over the next several months.

 

I loved reading this thread!

I am 17 weeks pregnant with one baby and have a set of twins who will be 2 in July. So 3 under 2 1/2 for me when this one arrives. The twins were as a result of fertility treatment (IUI) and this one happened au naturel. We are super excited, as we hope to eventually have a 3rd baby, but also a little surprised and overwhelmed feeling. I had incompetent cervix with the twins, and am really scared even with just one I might be looking at a cerclage again (so far not needed) or months of bedrest. I am a SAHM with the twins, so not sure how we will take care of them if I am put on bed rest. Dealing with the rest of the pregnancy/recovery from possible c section etc. scares me more than the idea of 3 kids.

I love that there are others on here in the same boat (or more), going through this at the same time as me, or who have already been there. As happy and excited as I am for this new baby, I have a lot of worries too. Wish I could just be blissfully happy, but it is hard not to panic a little about how I will juggle everything.

Roo

 

Roo-- I feel exactly the same. I am just now starting to have thoughts of possible bed rest... how I will do this after the c-section, etc...
I am scared of the prospect of the baby having to spend any time in the NICU. My boys were there for 3 months, although that's a very unique situation because they developed TTTS and had to be delivered very early. But, how would I visit much with two toddlers at home? I'm really trying to not even let these thoughts enter my head right now.

This is kind of funny I suppose... the first few days after I found out I was pregnant I was miserably nauseous (vomiting) and had an overall very sick feeling. I couldn't believe morning sickness was hitting so hard, so early (I never had any with the boys!).
Turns out it was all from nerves! After I calmed down a bit, I felt fine. But, that's how overwhelmed and shocked I felt--I actually made myself sick.

 

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I agree with a lot of RAR said... the first few weeks are really tough. My husband took 3 weeks off work mostly because I was an emotional basket case. I was dreading his return to work, but it was not as difficult I as I expected. I would definitely recommend getting some help for the first few weeks (husband, mom, mother-in-law) or at least until your hormones level out some. The pregnancy was exhausting and I got a lot bigger with one baby than I did with twins (believe it or not), but you will get through it... mostly because you have to!!! Once you find your routine, life gets much easier. We don't get out of the house very much but we play in the yard and take walks (no triple stroller, I carry the baby in my Ergo carrier). Three in diapers and three in car seats is a lot of work, but I keep telling myself that this "difficult" time is only temporary and I remind myself that in the long run, it will be such a gift to them being so close in age. Anyway, it can't be THAT bad... we are hoping for #4 when the twins are potty trained!!! Best wishes to you, BOST... we are your cheerleaders!

As a side note, my boys were also premature (31 weeks) and spent some time in the NICU. As you know, that time is very tough and I was so scared that my second pregnancy would also be preterm. He did come early, but he was a healthy 8 lbs at 36 weeks and we all came home together the next day (a welcome change from my twins' birth experience). I also had a VBAC and highly recommend it if you can do it! Congrats again!!

 

Ours are 13 1/2 months apart. You can do it, some days are loud and crazy and frustrating, but we have a lot of wonderful and sweet days too. I think you just have to have a plan and get organized. Having a plan and having help the first six weeks after Sullivan was born made all the difference. Find a good triple stroller and once the baby's born, just walk. Get out of the house and distract everyone! Go to the mall or walk in your neighborhood or in the park. There's not too much you can do with three young lo's, so that was my trick for tough days. Good luck and congratulations!!!