how to have a conversation - I've just laid down the law to my kids

Discussion in 'General' started by momofangels, Aug 15, 2014.

  1. momofangels

    momofangels Well-Known Member

    Just a rant:
    I've just laid down the law to my kids: tailor your conversations to whoever you're talking. In other words, don't call adults "dude", and don't interrupt ALL the time, and if you disagree with them, find an appropriate way to say that ("I don't really think so"),OR consider, if you disagree with an adult, if you should say somethng AT ALL.
    I don't want to stifle my kid's creatvity, but I'd like them to learn some manners. when I was their age (16), I knew who to debate with.(yes, for friends; no, for parents and teachers). But if I thought my parents were misjudging me, or being unfair, or were just plain wrong, I found a polite way to say that to them.  Given that I was a teenager, maybe not as polite a way as I thought, but I tried....
    And I told my kids that their are ways of " teasing" or "joking" with me may be hysterical with friends, but not at all how you should joke with mom or dad. And they looked at me like I was an old fuddy-duddy for expecting them to respect others.
    Does anyone else think that maybe the "peer culture" shouldn't be the only model for kids to use when learning how to interact?How to be polite?
    i knew teenagers were frustrating, but AAARGH!
    1 person likes this.
  2. kim01

    kim01 Well-Known Member

    I think you were right on for your convo. My boys are just now starting with a bit of a teenage attitude. They do know how to talk to adults/ teachers etc. But gosh it is so hard to keep em on track lol. I don't think you did anything wrong at all. Good for you for sticking up for yourself and teaching better manners. Being a mom is hard work for sure.
  3. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Absolutely!  They need to know how to speak respectfully and sound professional for when they get into work world, speak to professors at college.  You cannot call your boss dude.  I think you are doing the right thing in trying to teach them how to speak to adults properly, even if they don't like it.   
  4. momofangels

    momofangels Well-Known Member

    thanks for the support! I try to remember I have nice kids, really, but i've seen bunches (including mine) who say rude,ungracious, discourteous things mainly because they don't know better, have never been told/shown how to speak respectfully.  In other words, "speaking appropriately" is a new(ish) concept to them.
    They need adults to show them how to be mature LONG before they become mature.
    Also, teens can make being a hermit seem like a viable choice sometimes!
    And I am now officially old; I started a sentence with "when I was their age..."
  5. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Good for you!!! I wish more parents would teach their kids how to be respectful, polite, and in the right situation professional.  It really does go a long ways in life.
  6. Christel

    Christel Well-Known Member

    I have one specific teenager that has trouble with this as well. Finally I got the bright idea to start practicing with him. He thinks it's totally lame, but it has really improved his conversation skills as far as getting a feel for what's appropriate and what's not.

    I feel your pain!
  7. TP

    TP Well-Known Member

    Yes - Kids do need the practice to understand each conversation should have its own "tone" that needs to be altered to suite participants and situation BOTH. I have a nearly 8 year old who believes that she is 16 and my constant statement to her is "I am your mom not your friend treat me like a mom and not a friend" ...
    I see a lot of the new trainees come in to office with no idea about how to be professional - they are very bright , often very hard working also but have no clue about professional behavior and behavior norms in that setting ..... It really slows down their growth . So its good that you are teaching those skills to your children now . It will equip them to handle adult life ....
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