How far along were you when you told work?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Help' started by sheras2, Mar 11, 2010.

  1. sheras2

    sheras2 Well-Known Member

    I still haven't told my work about my pregnancy. I was originally hoping to put this off until around 16 weeks but just within the last week I am starting to show in my regular work clothes. I think I am doing an ok job of hiding it with looser tops and cardigans but I don't know how much longer I'll be able to. I bet a few people have already noticed that I am putting on weight (although I've really only gained 3 pounds). I would like to tell my boss before people start suspecting it but I'd also like to prolong it as much as I can. I'm working on an important project and don't want others to start excluding me from decisions or treat me as if I am checking out since I won't be here for a few months. I also work with almost all men on this project and don't want them to start treating me differently as I am in a leadership role. I know I'll still be capable of doing my job for at least several more months.

    When did you tell your work? Did it change the way you were treated by your co-workers? Did anyone ask before you were ready to talk about it?
     
  2. TwinLove

    TwinLove Well-Known Member

    Shera, I didn't have to deal with a project and I worked with all woman, so I hope someone who has had a similar experience can help you with this question. I told my boss right away. :blush: All my coworkers were told about a week later and they started helping me out immediately. :good:

    Good luck, I hope no one leaves you out. :hug:
     
  3. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I told my work immediately, like Liz said I wasnt in the same position as you with a project and didnt have to worry about being treated differently or being left out.
    I really hope that isnt the case for you when you decide to tell them. I hope they are just happy for you. Take care.
     
  4. mommyto3girls

    mommyto3girls Well-Known Member

    I told my work right away also. I am an accountant and wanted them to know since I was due right after tax season and that might be an issue. I didn't find out it was twins until 18 weeks but told them that right away also. No one treated me any different. My boss was really good about it also. I was able to cut back my hours ( I worked 40 hours everyone else worked 56 hours) during tax season. He was very glad I made it as long as I did. My girls were born on "tax day".

    Good luck!
     
  5. Sunny

    Sunny Well-Known Member

    With my singleton, I wanted to put it off as long as possible. (After infertility, I guess I was just really scared I would lose the baby.) I had finally decided to tell my boss at 14 weeks, and that morning in the office kitchen area, a coworker looked at my belly and goes, "ARE YOU PREGNANT?!" Guess my attempts to hide the baby bump were losing their effectiveness. :) I walked right into my boss's office and told her.

    My job was different than yours because I worked with 95% women (a counseling center) and I wasn't in a leadership role. But it didn't affect my work or the way people treated me whatsoever.

    I'm a SAHM now, so with the twins this time I didn't have to tell coworkers.

    Good luck!!
     
  6. Minette

    Minette Well-Known Member

    10 weeks, because I had already gained 15 lbs (!) and was starting to look pregnant rather than just heavier. It was easy for me, though, because I work in a very small office with almost all women. So there was no concern about being treated differently (at least not in a bad way).

    I had to tell them it was twins at 14 weeks because people were starting to ask me "Are you sure there's only one in there?" That's how big I was getting.
     
  7. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I was teaching at the time and told my friends there on my team at about 8 weeks. I told my principal at 14 weeks.
     
  8. pandax3

    pandax3 Well-Known Member

    I told my boss right away with DS. And also this time around too. I understand your concerns. But also keep in mind that letting your boss know is part of safety too. So if something happens to you at work then they can get help for you. When I told my boss. I told her that to keep it within the management team. So she did a really good job in respecting my wishes.

    Good luck to you.[​IMG]
     
  9. genagoodrow

    genagoodrow Well-Known Member

    Can't remember exactly, but I told my bosses around 12 weeks. I'd say it's best to put off mentioning it as long as you can, but not to push it past where everyone strongly suspects. I wanted to wait until after the first trimester. But at that point it was beginning to get around. Unfortunately, I got pregnant 5 days into my new job, and started throwing up in front of my boss after 8 weeks, so it wasn't a big surprise to anyone.

    Everyone treated me well. Be as professional as you can be, and hopefully it won't be a big deal!

    Good luck!
     
  10. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I waited until I knew that maternity clothes were imminent and told my boss only. When we found twins, at 10 weeks, we waited until 12 weeks to tell everyone. It was nice to throw up & not try to hold it in.
     
  11. Trishandthegirls

    Trishandthegirls Well-Known Member

    My situation sounds similar to yours. Most of the people I work with are men and at the time I got pregnant, I was managing a really critical project that was scheduled to implement about three months after my girls were due. I stressed a lot about when to tell people, but ended up doing it at 18 weeks when the whole office had a big on-site meeting (many of the staff were off site - including me - so no one could see my baby bump). I actually wish I had told everyone sooner because they were really excited for me and not having to hide it took some of the stress off of me.

    Overall, people were supportive but did start treating me differently. Mostly it was good different, but a few people started assuming that I would slack off and those people were annoying because I felt like I had to prove myself to them all over again. My boss was fantastic; asking if I wanted to work part time when I hit 28 weeks, and helping me transfer some activities to other people while allowing me to still be in charge of my major project.
     
  12. sheras2

    sheras2 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the replies, everyone. I think I'm going to talk to my boss next week. I was worried that maybe it's too soon, but I'll be 14 weeks by then and it sounds like many of you had talked to work by then. I know I'll be relieved that I can start wearing maternity clothes to work and not worried that someone will suspect or ask me about it.
     
  13. hsddc

    hsddc Well-Known Member

    Good luck with telling your office! It is a relief to have it out in the open (I think I told around 14-16 weeks) but then prepare yourself for daily questions of "how are you doing?", "when are you due?" and "haven't you had those babies yet?". :)

    Like others have said, also just be prepared to have to defend yourself a little bit. I've found that while everyone is very supportive, there is an assumption that I won't be able to carry my weight, so to speak, at work. Of course this is unfair because I know what I can handle but it might be an unavoidable assumption. At some point you will stop caring. Probably around 28-30 weeks when you start getting so big that you have a hard time dragging your own body weight around so you're grateful that people don't expect that much from you (or maybe that's just me?). It's hard at 14 weeks though when you feel pretty good.
     
  14. kristenlee5

    kristenlee5 Well-Known Member

    People started asking me at 8 weeks because I used to be pretty small and started showing right away. I "officially" told work about 13 weeks because I wanted to get through the first trimester. I didn't have any problems with my work assignments or how people treated me. More people offered to move boxes, open doors, etc for me.
     
  15. Utopia122

    Utopia122 Well-Known Member

    I told my principal at 8 weeks. I had just accepted the position two weeks earlier, and had no clue I was pregnant when I did so. I was terrified that my principal would think that I had known I was pregnant when interviewing, and cried and cried when I found out I was pregnant. However, she was really cool about it, and then when I found out it was twins...another whammy I had to tell her...she never acted like it was a big deal. I was amazed at the amount of help I got from teachers and administrators that year who barely knew me...I ended up being really scared for nothing.
     
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