How did you know you were ready to conceive?

I hope this was the right place to post!!

My DH has always said he wanted 3 kids and then well, we had twins. I've always said we'll discuss the option after the birth of whatever # we're on (sorry, that sounds weird!). Well, we've been tossing around the idea of having another ... he says it's my decision because I would be the one pg and have to have a c/s unless we could find a hospital to do a vbac. I think I want to have another I'm just not sure when and I don't know why it's such a big issue for me. I'd like to have them close in age, it took us 3 years and 2 miscarriages to get to the boys and I'm getting older; that's why. I'm scared ... I'm a SAHM and I think to myself " could I really handle it?" 3 kids under the age of 2 if we got pg right away, yikes. If I had another c/s if would put me out of commision with the boys, what if we had another set of multiples, what if, what if, what if.

How did you get to point where you, yourself, knew it was either yes or no and if yes, how did you know when was the right time? I know this is a very personal decision ... It's obviously weighing on my mind so I know I want another baby ... I just don't know when. EEK. Thanks for thoughts!

 

Wait until they're 18 months old to discuss. That's the best advice I've got for you at the moment. (My boys just turned 2).

GL!

 

We had planned to have the when-to-have-another-baby conversation when our twins turned 2- Needless to say they are 22 months now and have a 2 week old sister! I can tell you (although I wouldnt trade her for the world) it sure would be nice to have a little more space between them.

It was rough for me having morning sickness & still having to change 2x the poopy diapers from the twins. Towards the end we moved the twins to toddler beds at 19 months and we also invested in a small picnic table for our kitchen. It just got to hard for me to lift them in and out of their cribs/high chairs. Getting them in and out of the car got more difficult so we went less places.

They still want lots of my attention- I wish they had a little more independance. its hard when Im tending to the baby (who cant wait!) and I tell the twins they need to wait and they dont understand or they act like little monsters while my hands are busy feeding or what have you.

I would wait a little bit longer- I also never had a c-section and imagine the recovery on top of twins and a newborn would be quite challenging.

 

For me, the right time to start trying was before the twins even turned 1. I was 39 when I had them and we started trying about 2 months before they turned 1. It took me about 6 months and then I found out I was pregnant in May (they were 15 months old). Liam was born when they were 23 months old and I wouldn't change it for the world. Was it hard in the beginning, sure, but they are all such great friends and play so well together. There are times when I would swear that they are triplets!

 

Honestly, I don't think anyone should tell you 'you need to wait.' This is a very personal decision. Maternal age does have a huge bearing on how women feel about spacing their kids. And if you feel like you have a cut off on your age for when you'd like to have your last child it might be better to go for it now. I got pregnant with my twins when my first child was 12 months old. They were born when she was 20 months old. It was actually really ideal. My 20 month old was too young for serious potty training, so I didn't need to deal with that until the twins were 6 months old. So much easier than having to get up and put a kid on the toilet all the time when your baby/babies are fussing. Honestly, I think toddlers are easier to deal with at 18 months than at 2.5. All of my children have given me a harder time between 2.5 and 3.5 than they have between 1.5 and 2.5. So if I could plan for adding a baby that increment is ideal. I waited for my 4th child until my twins were almost 3. In some ways it was easier because they were fully potty trained and could do some things themselves, but they were still pretty needy. The phase I would just totally avoid adding a child though is around 2.5 exactly. That's normally when a child is potty training. I'd rather avoid the potty training/infant care combo.

But everything is so individual. I'm not sure if you took drugs, etc. to conceive your twins, but if they were spontaneous then the likelihood of reoccurance is fairly slim. I'm on my second pregnancy after twins...and no twins. And my identical twin has had 3 pregnancies with no twins. Since we are identical we should have the same likelihood of having frat twins...and out of 7 pregnancies combined there's only been one set of twins. So don't worry about that too much.

 

We got pregnant with the twins after 2nd IVF and knew we wanted more kids. We had decided that we would wait until they were 2 and start the IVF process again that way it would not be two big of an age difference but also they would be old enough if we had another set of multiples to understand a little better. I am having a c-section on Jan 5 and the twins turn 3 on the 10th. They are still very needy and it was a tiring pregnancy but for the most part not bad because I can talk to them about their little brother coming after Santa. They are excited but I know there will probably be some jealousy. I think it really all depends on your family dynamic too. I am also A SAHM so having my kids closer in age made since so when they are all in school I can get a Mother's hours job to help out more financially. Good Luck with your decision. We will be discussing it again in a year too because we have a frozen embryo so we need to know when we will go thru a FET. Happy Holidays.

 

I just knew I wanted mine close together and then when I was diagnosed with lupus/scleroderma the decision was sort of made for us (we wanted to start TTC around 1years old or a little after, we started trying when they were 9 months and conceived the first month!!) or else we would have to wait a lot longer than we wanted to for the meds to get out of my system (and possibly damage my eggs).

Not saying its going to be all sun and roses but I know once they get older our house is going to be a lot of fun! and no one will be left out if we go somewhere for the twins.

Good luck with your decision

 

We did use clomid and estrogen therapy to conceive the boys. I haven't had a serious talk with my OBGYN as to the statistics of a reoccurring multiple PG but it's definitely on my mind. Some of my thoughts are "what if we don't get pg within 6 months to a year", "would we have to use clomid again" ... and the thought of another set of multiples, although we would love them, is scary. I guess I'll have to have a talk with my doctor about all of the numbers. Decisions, decisions.

 

for us it would take a miracle to get pg on our own (our twins are inj/IUI babies) so a trip to the RE will be in order (at least we know what we need to do this time around!)...

anyway DH and I were talking about it the other night...the twins are 3.5 right now...if I wait until after they are 4 I'll deliver right before they go to K...which I think will be a good buffer...I have a hell of a time with them now being the same age and I can't imagine having an infant as well....

we're still very up in the air about having another child...DH is content with the 2 we have but says he's not opposed to another baby as long as we can put food on the table!