Going to bed without any supper?

You should NEVER punish with food! I'm very sorry if this sounds rude but I can't believe you guys were trying so hard to make him eat it. How would you like if someone did this to you? I'm sorry, I feel it was cruel.

 

I will never punish them with not eating, if they don't like what I make, I will offer a quick to make alternative, like grilled cheese, chicken nuggets, whatever. We all have different tastes in food, and I don't think it's fair to make a child who can not prepare something for themselves eat what I make, or not eat at all. When they are older I will let them make themselves something if they don't like what we make.

When the girls are sick I always give them a main course food & veggies, if they dont eat it, or only eat a little I usually offer them a fruit too (they love fruit).

I would've given him his milk, he's not a 6 year old just being stubborn by not eating but still wanting dessert, he's a baby who wanted milk.

 

QUOTE(ruthjulia @ Sep 20 2007, 10:07 PM) [snapback]416936[/snapback]
i will always let them have milk, but stick to the "you eat what i made" rule. i just feel better if they at least have some milk in them - that way i don't worry so much if they haven't eaten.

hope he feels better!

Ditto here. We still do a sippy of milk during our wind down time (before brushing teeth). Same reason, so I don't feel like I sent them to bed on an empty stomach. I will also usually give them a piece of whole grain bread or something if they absolutely refuse what was made. Tonight all they ate for dinner was wheat bread and peaches.

 

I'd have given him the milk, but DH would have given him the milk too, so we would not have been at odds on that decision.

Grace went to bed with no supper today, but that's because she was displaying classic toddler behaviour and wouldn't eat. She did drink her milk though. We are to the point that they eat what we are having, and if they don't then they just don't eat. They are not picky at all, so usually if they are hungry they will eat it.

 

I would have given him milk since he was sick( we don't give the babies milk if there fever is over 100 because of milk souring in their stomach). I would offer them something else if he wasn't eating. If he was old I would have denied anything else (like 5) but not on someone so young.

 

I wanted to provide a little more information to the whole scenario. When I offered Michael the taco salad and he didn't eat it, it had corn chips on it, and I picked some of those off and he didn't eat those either (he LOVES corn/tortilla chips). I even offered him the fresh chips from the bag. I gave him water, of which he drank. DH was afraid that milk is a "congesting" substance, and Michael had a slight fever and cold-like/stuffed up symptoms. DH says that milk will make him more "stuffed up".

I still think if DH wasn't there, I would have given him his milk anyway.

I think DH really had had enough of Michael dictating what he will eat. He never or barely ever eats what the rest of the family does. I am always giving him yogurts, or oatmeal or his favorites. DH really wants me to stop catering to him. You all have to remember, I wasn't with the twins all day. I leave at 6:30AM and I didn't get home until 8 PM. Whatever had happened during the day or evening...I wasn't a part of. It was bedtime for the twins anyway. I felt like I couldn't come in "at the last moment" and change everything that DH had done.

Thank you for the hugs (from some of the previous posters). I do not feel bad at all by some of the comments issued. I know that I'm a good mom and a good person. Some people feel strongly about the situation, and they have the right to feel that way. I'm glad I got input, from every angle/opinion, it is a way to learn and grow.


Bridget

 

You're awesome, Bridget. Some of the comments were rather pointed. Thanks for the extra info. He's right, milk can be bad when you are congested. But maybe some fruit or something would have been good, but he might have rejected those too.

I don't think I handed out one of these before but here's the big one: :love0028: . No one should judge, we're here to learn from each other.

DH and I have a lot to learn ourselves about getting on the same page.

 

QUOTE(bridget nanette @ Sep 22 2007, 02:08 AM) [snapback]418495[/snapback]
Some people feel strongly about the situation, and they have the right to feel that way. I'm glad I got input, from every angle/opinion, it is a way to learn and grow.


I believe that food should not be used as a punishment OR reward. I think it creates an unhealthy relationship with food and can lead to eating disorders.

By the way, I LOVE your attitude! I wish more posters felt this way. People have their own opinions on various subjects and it doesn't mean they are attacking each other personally! They just want to voice their opinion on the subject.

 

Is you DH willing to meet in the middle? I mean if I make something that I question whether they will eat or not, like taco casserole I will also put a half PBJ sandwich on the side or maybe a cup of yogurt w/fruit in it. For us some times it is just getting the eating to happen and they will continue on to the rest of their plate.

We also have a "rule" everyone has to have at least one bite, if they do not like it this time, at least they tried it. He is a bit young but like with anything, if you start with the words and the modeling, maybe. there have been nights where it was, oky you take one bit I will take theother and if you do not want more, you can be excused.

 

Your addition to the story sounds very different from what you originally said. I still think it's wrong to refuse your kid sustenance the way you described it in your original post. It sounds like your husband needs some education in the ways of toddlers, because the tactics he's suggesting are inappropriate for a child so young, and inappropriate for a human being of any age who is sick.