Going crazy with crying!

it IS an experiment. you can read books, talk to doctors, etc. and you do what you think is best for your kids and hope for the best. you reach out for support and try and pull knowledge from people who have been there and can offer you assistance but in the end no i'm sorry you won't know how well you did until they grow up. i'm not saying to you that i am not trying and doing my best for my kids because i am saying you won't know how well you did until they grow up. every child is different, every parent is different that's what makes parenthood an experiment. you try something, it works or it doesn't and you try again. you can only hope for the best. heck, i know a lot of kids that were raised by the television (hello mtv generation) that grew up to be doctors and computer programmers, so it's a crap shoot. it just depends on the child more than it does the parent. you can lead a horse to water but you can't force them to drink it. so we can try methods and encourage our children but in the end, regardless of what methods we used, they will turn out the way they want to.

all i can say is WOW, you really went out of your way to research that post from a while ago and put it in my face didn't you? was that necessary? i know that my kids need me. when i posted that original post i was reaching out for support because yeah, i'm not going to deny i am dealing with some post-partum issues and was hoping that other people could relate. as a new mom, at least with me and a lot of the other new moms i know, we second guess ourselves CONSTANTLY..."am i doing the right thing", "will my child suffer", these are all things we ask ourselves. i know i make mistakes but so does everyone on this forum, it's nature. no one is perfect and everyone is going to fumble, especially when it comes to raising other human being. it would appear to me that you aren't really listening to me. yes i let my kids CIO and it works but i don't let them cry for hours and days without comforting them. i don't NOT hold my kids. i can't even tell you how many times, in this thread, i have said this.

bottom line, everyone makes mistakes. everyone and every child is completely different and unique and everyone's experiences are going to be different. we all parent differently and we all hope that we are doing everything possible to raise the best children that will turn into productive, healthy and happy adults. i know a mom, my MIL infact, that says her first child was her "experimental" child because she didn't know what she was doing. she held him all of the time, literally, and did everything that you suggest, no television, etc. and you know what? he's not super cuddly or overly outgoing, totally rebelled, went through depression, etc. so it really doesn't matter if you hold them for 6 hours 2 hours 12 hours, the child will grow up and make up their own mind. and she pretty much did the same thing with all 3 of her kids and all 3 are completely different...why? because in the end it is the child that will determine the type of person they want to be. all we, as parents can do, is be supportive, loving and caring.

as for correcting my issues while i can...i do the best that i can for my children and provide for them in everyway possible. i know that i am not a bad mother but i have moments of desperation where i second guess myself, just like everyone else. i am only human. my children are learning, they are developing, i DO hold them it just may not be as often as you. no i don't hold them all the time but i do hold them frequently throughout the day and we do have playtime and they are developing. i have short comings and A LOT of things to learn about being a parent but so does everyone on this forum because not one of us is an expert, everyday is a new learning experience and we experiment with different ideas, techniques and ways to parent our children.

 

Prevacid..We started the compounding liquid 2 weeks ago but it was too expensive for each week and switched to the Prevacid solitab last week and so far so good. They never felt better until the meds started working for them

 

I remember these days...hugs to you! I can't say enough about Happiest Baby on the Block (forget the book - get the DVD and watch how he does it.) Basically though, you almost have to give yourself a pep talk each day that you are going to have a great attitude and your first priority is those babes, even if the laundry and dishes pile up. Even if you are against disposable products - allow yourself paper plates, plastic silverware, etc in the house for a month. You and your DH could take turns handling them while the other does chores if you must. Basically, take those kiddos everywhere with you - put on a tune and sing to it. If you are going to be in the kitchen, put them in bouncies or whatever and manage the laundry while talking to them. They may cry through this - but you will be with them. Take a walk - they may cry the whole time but you will be with them. I was not good at wearing them together, and I would get one in the moby wrap and she would fall asleep only for the other one to wake and need something...I cried lots and lots with them in the beginning and especially around this time, as all the help had went home and they wanted my arms constantly. It was close to this time they started liking their swings...keep trying...even if they appear to hate it at first. I also slept them with their heads elevated - worked wonders for us with the swaddles. They sense how you feel - once I got over my anxiety and decided I was going to get through the day they started to come around, or I came around, not sure who did first. It was a crazy crazy time and you are right in the thick of it. You and your DH need to cut yourselves some slack. Lastly, if you know of anyone wanting to come hold a couple of babies so you can have some rest or do some co-cleaning, schedule them now!

 

The weight limit on the moby is supposed to be 35 pounds so you can use them for quite some time! I think I finially had to quit wearing them together in it around 9 months and Im not sure what they weighed then- it was just starting to get to hard for me.
I used the book that came with the moby a lot in the beginning but eventually I just started making up wraps and doing whatever worked Half the things I came up with werent in that book! There are some super simple ones you can do. You'll figure it out I love the moby!

 

I got one of these twin carriers, and it was the BEST baby purchase I made. It would comfort them when nothing else could. I put them in it and walk around, or dance, or do housework. It's like holding them both at the same time, and my boys LOVE it. The movement calms them down and they often go right to sleep. I highly recommend it!! It's heavy, but not too uncomfortable.

http://www.doubleblessings.com/servlet/Detail?no=338

 

I swaddled and put them in the swing together for quite awhile since they were small but did not bucket them in, they really didn't move much at that time and it was the travel one on the floor.
Hope things start getting better soon.

 

Ours were like this at that age too. They hated the bouncy seats (we have 2 that have been used more by our cats than our babies), never liked the swing much, did not respond to white noise...they only slept when they were rocked to sleep and did not nap during the day for more than 30 minutes. I spent the first 2 months on the couch and if they fell asleep while nursing I would just leave them there in between me and the armrest because I was afraid to move. They never laid on the floor to play until they were about 3 months old because before that they would scream every time they were put down. We even went through a phase where the only time they would fall asleep was if we drove somewhere or put them in a sling or a bjorn. At about 3 months old it was like a light went on and now they are the happiest babies. DD sometimes fusses because she DOESN'T want to be held and wants to lay on her play mat and play!

My advice is to forget the housework, forget the to do lists, do the minimal laundry to get by (I used the bjorns for this), and hold them because soon it will be over and you will get through it. There should be some sort of badge for us to wear that says "I survived colic x2!" :drinks:

 

This sounds very selfish. You do/did not HAVE to let them CIO, you chose to. Just like you CHOSE to have these babies..You cant always do what you want when you want. Thats what being a parent is all about, SACRAFICE! One minute you say they were only fussing for a few, then you say they would cry for 6 hrs some times so you "HAD" to let them cry for your sanity. Thats selfish. Im at home with my boys with DH works. I toggle between the two boys like crazy all day just to meet their needs. The heck with a shower, cleaning or stepping outside....There are reasons that your not suppose to let them CIO til a little older.

 

With all due respect I don't see the point in rehashing this same argument that finally died down days ago. And while that is great that you "sacrifice" (as do most twin moms) and do everything you can for your twins, I think it is safe to say that nobody here knows exactly what Haleystar's twins are like at home, only she does. The other day both of my boys were wailing at the same time for no apparent reason. I thought to myself then "God, what would/could I do if they did this for hours on end and it was just me here?? I can't hold them both simultaneously, and even when holding one they were fussing." Luckily it only lasted for about 30-45 minutes before one and then the second calmed down, and I'm also very lucky that my mom watches the boys during the day while we work and my husband is at home with the family every single evening. It doesn't sound like Haleystar has that option though, and from previous posts of hers it sounds like her babies have severe colic. And I am not advocating CIO at such a young age either. I'm just saying no one here truly knows the situation with her twins, except her. Our pediatrician recommended that we do CIO at bedtime and for nighttime feedings when our twins turned 4 months old, and I thought she was a little nuts so we have yet to do CIO because I think they are too young. But I'm not going to call somebody else selfish for doing what they felt they had to do.