Funny things your kids have said this week...

I'm making muffins with Jack, aka lecture time for me.
"Are u making a mess mommy?"
Idk buddy does it look like I am?
"well no, but you probably made a mess somewhere else in the house"
Hmmmmm...kettle meet pot.

 

I was at the eye Dr the other day and she was opening up a trial contact lense for me to try out and as she is opening it up my 2.5yr old DS says "hey lady what you got there, a tampon? I was sooo embarrased, i had no idea he even knew about tampons!

 

Tonight Samantha told me that my artichoke was "sooo cool, mama!"

Where did she learn that expression??

 

The other morning River was standing in front of me and he had a VERY loud fart. When I heard it this happened...

Mommy: "Did you fart?"

River: "Yes!"
followed by a surprised face

River: "OH! Where did it go?"
he turns around to look over his shoulder to try and see his fart and went in a couple of circles looking behind his shoulder to see it.
he had a toy staple gun that lights up when you push the handle to "staple"
with his finger pointed in the air...

River: "I know, flashlight."
he turns the "flashlight" on and points it down over his shoulder while turning around to try and see his butt

River: "Mommy, I can't find it."

He then puts his hand over his mouth and giggled.

 

While having their snack at their little table this evening, sitting quietly, DS says to DD, "Audrey will you go on a date with me tonight?" to which she replied, "I can't, I don't have time."

 

Let's see, this week my kids have done the following:

"Mommy, mommy, mommy, Steph!!!" Hey! My name is MOMMY! No matter how many times you have to say it!

"Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy." "Yes, Samantha?" "I forgot." I did not realize that this would start so young!

The girls were eating raisins and referring to them as "poo poo food." I guess that's why they don't really eat them? They do sort of resemble my kids' rabbit pellet poos, if I'm honest about it.

 

[font="lucida grande][size="2"]So we always have the boys use the big boy potty prior to getting into the tub and since I don't like the thought of getting a refreshing urine cleansing I make sure they've emptied themselves as best as possible by sitting there for a good couple of minutes. Well, Alex was having NONE of that so he stood up, while looking right in his MeMe's eyes, point his finger down to his urine dispenser and says ever so seriously "look my penis, it's not working". Translation....he didn't have to go.[/size][/font]

 

I was trying to compliment Sophia...
Me: Sophia, you are so astute.
Sophia: Mommy, I am not ASTUTE!!!
Me: (realizing that I used a word she doesn't understand) It means clever...that's good.
Sophia: I am not astute or clever, Mommy.

Lesson learned: Do not use compliments that your kids do not understand.

 

Took the boys to the pool today and this was my evening conversation before bed with Alex while waiting for River to finish up in the bathroom....

Me: "Alex, did you have fun today?"

Alex: "Uh-uh at the pool. Swimmin' was making my soups heavy in da butt. Mommy! Where is your soups?"

Me: "The bathing suits are in the washing machine"

Alex: "Soups are dirty? Need to be cleaned?"

Me: "Yep, they're in the wash."

Alex: "Soups are in washin' ma' sh**?"

Me: "Yes honey they are in the washing machine."

 

A few weeks ago my daughter picked up the bad habit of just saying "mama" over and over again with no real purpose. One day she was going "mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama" forever and I reached the end of my patience so I asked "Vivi, can you say any other word?" I swear she looked me dead in the eye and said "Mommy!" :headbang: I suppose I asked for that.

 

Today's funny is brought to you by the letter "A".

The boys were in our closet and all of the sudden I hear this...

Alex: "Mommy, this is the best box ever!".

The box...DH's old t&a magazines.

 

I just finished brushing Cameron's teeth. He climbed on the stool to get a wipe and nearly slipped off. He caught himself, but he turned to me and said while laughing, "I almost cracked my head open! Then I'd be an egg!"

 

Yesterday while we were having breakfast Ethan heaved a big sigh and said in his 'sad' voice (not whining, more like a 'poor me' tone):
"I wish I was young."
Me: "You are young."
E: "Really?"
Me: "Yep."
E (hopefully): "Is 3 is young?"
Me (trying really hard not to laugh at this point because he seemed so earnest): "3 is pretty young, yes."
I guess that's what comes from telling him he's growing up and is a big boy! :lol:

Then today we were just playing and I had picked Eleanor up ("Jump me up and catch me!") and said "I got you!", then Ethan said "you can't get me" and ran away from us into the playroom. Eleanor looked at me and said "Quick! Get him like he's a pine cone!" :laughing: When I stopped laughing enough to ask why a pine cone she explained "Because you can see them and get-them-up. You quickly can get them and run and get them up."

 

Being 2 1/2, This was the first haloween my DD has really paid attention. I let her have a couple of pieces of candy a day, if she remembers. This morning she got to take some with her. In the car she tells me.
Emelia: " mommy my candy smells like hummus.
Me: o-really?
Emelia: it smells like hummus so it's good for me

 

[font="Georgia]Today, we went to find a tree at the nearby Christmas tree farm. Somehow, we all got on the conversation of old age and the boys' current age.[/font]

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[font="Georgia]Me: Right now you boys are very young. When you are 12 years old, you'll be bigger. When you are Mommy and Daddy's age, which is probably ancient to you now, you'll be even bigger. By then, maybe you'll even have a country-house on the moon![/font]

[font="Georgia]Cameron: I will still be on the Earth. I don't want to live on the moon. I like it here.[/font]

[font="Georgia]Me: Oh? You'll still be living here on Earth when you are our age?[/font]

[font="Georgia]Cameron: Yes! Earth![/font]

[font="Georgia]Me: Then maybe there will be flying cars and houses that are as tall as the clouds are![/font]

[font="Georgia]Cameron: When I'm 12 years old, I'll be on Earth. When I'm old like Daddy, I'll be in heaven![/font]

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[font="Georgia]OMG!! [/font]

 

The other day i rolled my eyes at my son because of his attitude, he looked me straight in the face and put his hands on his hips and said "Mommy you can't treat me that way its rude!" (He is 3) I couldn't help but start to giggle which made him giggle as well.

 

Gavin (my boy twin) has this conversation with me all the time and it makes me laugh every time! EVERY TIME!

Gavin "Hi Mommy"
Me "Hey Handsome"
Gavin "How are you?"
Me "I'm going great, thank you, how are you?"
Gavin "This is a nice conversation we are having today!"

Even writing this makes me giggle!

I actually had my co-worker listen to it over the phone today because he is just so darn cute!

 

[font="Georgia]Today was an unusually warm day as it IS winter...I think! So, by the time school was over, it was warm enough to take off their jackets. We were putting the harnesses on the boys, and Cameron decides he needs to point out why he'd rather have the normal seat belt (which we use for their winter jackets since the jackets are too puffy for the harness to fit correctly). [/font][/color]


[color="#333333"][font="Georgia]Daddy: OK Cameron, we need to put on the harness this time.[/font][/color]

[color="#333333"][font="Georgia]Cameron: Why? I won't be able to reach! What if I want to play with my balls?[/font][/color]
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[color="#333333"][font="Georgia]edited for grammer...[/font]

 

Hubby is watching the grammys in the other room while Evan is eating. They are announcing the best country single or something.

Announcer: "...and the Grammy goes to... Carrie Underwood!"

Evan: "Carrie Underwear! They said Carrie Underwear! Hahaha!"


:laughing:

 

Okay, I've got two recent hilarities:

I was chasing Alexis and telling her that she has "the cutest tiny hiney!" She stopped and turned around and yelled at me, "Mama, you have a big butt!" I laughed so hard.

Then, yesterday, there were road crews working on a busted water main in front of grandma and grandpa's house. Grandma and grandpa took then outside to watch and they lost their minds yelling "Look at the f*cks! The f*cks!!" Grandma said she couldn't stop laughing long enough to correct them. I guess we need to practice the TR sound??

 

While driving home from the gransparents' last weekend DS (who does not enjoy being shut up in the car) said: "When we get home I want to be really wild in the garden." When we got home we did go straight into the garden but he immediately went to the sandboy and then asked if he could help me with some gardening. So running around, shouting, whatever he had in mind never happened. Once we were indoors and washing hands for supper he suddenly broke into tears and sobbed "I forgot to be wild. Mommy, I so wanted to be wild."

 

Ha ha ha! I feel his pain. I hate when life gets in the way of being wild!

 

So sweet! I hope he's gotten to be wild since then. :wub:

 

Just over the weekend, Cameron and Kiefer were talking to me about holidays. I figured we'd talk about a few that are coming up.


Me: Boys, do you know what special days are coming up in May and June?
Kiefer: No.
Me: In May it's your daddy's and mommy's birthday and it's Mother's day. In June, it's Father's day, your birthday, and your auntie's birthday.
Both: What's Mother's Day?
Me: It's a day you celebrate your mother.
Cameron: What do you do for Mother's Day?
Me: Well, since it's a day to celebrate your mother, you can say nice things to her, or do something nice for her, get or make her something nice, ...something to make her feel happy or special.
Cameron: Mommy?
Me: Yes, Cameron?
Cameron: I like your face.

LOL!! You gotta give the boy credit for trying!

 

Plenty, especially since spring weather finally arrived here!

 

DH and I alternate tuck-ins and check-ins. Tuck-ins are reading and other bedtime routine stuff. Then that parent will go check-n on the twin in the other room just to say a quick goodnight and one last hug and kiss good-night. The boys really look forward to that last check-in from either of us. The other night, DH told me about a funny conversation he had with Cameron when he went to go check-in on him. **Side note: Cameron is not at all afraid of dogs. He was just curious about something.

[font="verdana]Cameron: Daddy, why did you take so long to check on me?[/font][/color]
[color="#333333"][font="verdana]Jason: Kiefer was asking me questions about bones and muscles.[/font][/color]
[color="#333333"][font="verdana]Cameron: Do dogs eat our bones?[/font][/color]
[color="#333333"][font="verdana]Jason: No dogs don't eat our bones, they eat snack bones.[/font][/color]
[color="#333333"][font="verdana]Cameron: Yeah, cause if dogs ate our bones, we would be all squishy.[/font][/color]
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Conversation overheard between DH and my two as we are trying to teach them our address:

DH: So Ieuan, what's your address?
Olivia: But Daddy, Ieuan is a boy he doesn't have a dress

 

"Girls, did you go to the doctor with daddy today? What did the doctor say?"

Samantha: "No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"

 

My son who is 2 years old, took his diaper off in the living room and went into the bathroom. He came back out with a maxi pad between his legs. I guess he wanted to try out mommy's diapers

 

Two from last night-

At Kohls, I had Alexis in a fitting room with me while I tried on a dress. She loudly exclaimed "Mama, your panties are stuck in your butt! Look at that tiny hiney!" The lady in the next room started laughing and called over "at least she didn't say it was big!"

At Target Samantha shouted "Woah, woah, daddy! Back the tuck up, the wipes are right there!" Tuck should have been tRuck and we really need to work on enunciation..

 

Haha Stephanie, Alexis paid you a compliment .

I have 2 from yesterday also. My kids will be 3 in Sept. They aren't good to color between the lines yet - but yesterday they asked to color some lions and trees. So my DH looked up some coloring pages and he found an image of Dora with a lion and trees so perfect since they love Dora. We gave them the printed pages and crayons and they went to town. Vanessa took a green crayon and started to color a tree - and she said very seriously: "Mommy this is my first tree EVER" - and she was right - she never colored a tree before. I was laughing because I had no idea she knew the concept of "First Ever" or the word ever. Also, I recognized myself so much in that sentence - I am the kind that notices stuff like that - since I was a kid.

Yesterday my DH had to stop to a pharmacy on the way home and he got me a bag of white chocolate Godiva truffles - YUMMY. After dinner we each had a piece - it was the first time the kids had white chocolate and the truffles had a white chocolate cream filling inside. Both kids loved them - big shock there . Right after he took a bite, as he was chewing Max said: "Mommy, this is so good, it has cheese inside" .

 

sounds like it IS getting better!! :acute:

 

I forgot about that! Ha HA! It is crazy to me how much they're starting to sound like little adults. Now I just need to start watching our vocab to keep them from sounding TOO adult!

 

Upon seeing an Xbox game for the first time:

Orion: "That is f*cking awesome!"

Now, Ben and (mostly I) do curse like sailors so it's possible he picked it up from us, but I'm going to blame Macklemore's "Thrift Shop" as it has that line in it and I love that song.

Sebastian: "Mommy, look what I can do with my penis". Then he retracted it. Good times.

 

We recently talked about certain words that they are only allowed to say at home because other people don't like those words and we need to be aware of offending people. Also, Danika's picked up my habit of saying "mother frickin'" as in "Mom! It's mother frickin' hot out today." ardon: