Funny things your kids have said this week...

:rotflmbo: Smart girl, everyone should be scared of zombies!

On the subject of Halloween toys at the store, I was shopping with E & E today and they also like to go to the Halloween aisle and look at all the stuff. Our store has about 4 different toys that sing and dance when you press a button and today we had the pumpkin (I only let them watch one of the things each time, otherwise we'd be there forever). It sings a version of "I want Candy", with the verses changed to Halloween lyrics. After we finished watching it we carried on shopping, Eleanor was singing the chorus as we went round. Only instead of "I want candy" she was singing "I'm a candy", I tried to correct her and she ended up singing "I want to be a candy". I gave up at that point.

 

My boys are like bloodhounds...they smell EVERYTHING! They know what grass smells like mowing, gasoline, cabbage in the fields, and they HATE coffee breath!!! Which of course DH and I love coffee. They also tell DH to take a shower bc he stinks from working on the farm

Well putting them to bed I was waddling on my knees from JTs bed to Jack's to kiss him good night and he starts giggling and goes "Here comes the other stinky one! Go brush your teeth!" :laughing:

Body parts: Hannah's peepee is "inside".....

 

Hahaha, I have a bloodhound here too! She catches me when I sneak nutella (because I don't want to share with them ).

And when I get home from running, she says, "Mommy, get away from me. Go in the other room. You smell gross. You need to take a shower." :lol:

 

We were watching The Muppet Caper this weekend, and it has a Miss Piggy swim scene (if any of you all remember it). Well, she starts blowing bubbles out of her snout and Roycie says, "Ewww, it's like mermaid snot" with such disdain and disgust. It was hilarious.

 

Meara saw what she thought was a satellite dish on a tree this weekend and said "mommy I guess the squirrels have cable too!"

 

Ooh, here's one...

Ivy: "Mommy, when I grow up, my vagina will be hairy just like yours!"

:laughing:

 

Holly...:rofl:

Just a few minutes ago:
DS is complaining about DD playing with his vacuum cleaner, "Mommy...girls aren't supposed to vacuum, boys are. That's for boys!"
Me: "Make sure you remember that for your future wife!"

 

Here's one that possibly only fellow parents of little drama queens (or princes ) can understand...

I snapped at Ivy for something. Not yelling, not screaming, just got a little irritated with her for misbehaving for the millionth time that day.

And she started wailing, all betrayed and martyred, "MOOOMMMYYYY...I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" :cry:

I'm beginning to see the origins of the expression, save the drama for your mama... :faint:

 

Nate: "Where's my brain?"
Me: "Where did you throw it?"


We have a stress ball in the shape of a brain. It's the only thing I let them throw in the house.

 

Today I was driving E & E to a class, they live down a fairly narrow country road so I never drive that fast but this morning we were stuck behind someone driving so s-l-o-w-l-y that I was getting totally fed up (plus we were running late). Then when we got to the T junction at the end of the road this person stopped and was checking the junction for what must have been a full 20 seconds, even though you can clearly see both ways and there were no other cars. At this point I burst out "Oh, just DRIVE!"
Eleanor: "They're not a good driver."
Me: "No, they're not."
Eleanor: "They need to learn."
Which at least cheered me up a bit :lol:

Also in the car with them, we were listening to 'Marry You' (which is one of their favourite songs) and they were discussing the lyrics;
Eleanor: "He wants to marry the lady. Why's he marry her?"
Me: "Because he loves her"
Eleanor: "He loves her, he's going to marry her"
Me: "Yep"
Ethan: "He's going to marry the princess"
Eleanor: "No! Only kings marry the princess, he's marry the lady"
Ethan: "He marry the princess"
Eleanor: "He can't marry the princess, got to be kings and princes marry the princess, him marry the lady"
Me (intervening to avoid a prolonged argument): "Princesses can choose whoever they want to marry. If they want to marry a king they can, if they want to marry a man they can"
Eleanor: "Princesses can marry a man?"
Me: "Yes, if they like. People marry who they want to"
Eleanor: "Oh." pause "I think he like to marry that lady I think"
Ethan: "I think he marry the princess"
Thankfully they went back to singing along after that, but now every time the song comes on they state who they think he wants to marry (and they haven't changed their minds yet). :laughing:

 

My kids have spent the week at my Mom's house and today they are due to come home. So this morning DH is on the phone with DS.
DS: Daddy, I don't want to come home. I love you.
DH- :huh:

 

Jack has decided that yelling "Penis" in public places is funny, which it is, but apparently I'm supposed to discourage it.

 

ME: "I'm pooped!!"
RYAN: saying with so much empathy; "In your underpants, Mommy??"

 

In the bath last night...

Ivy: "Andrew, you have a second penis under your penis!"

Andrew: "That's NOT a penis! That's my CHESSICLES!"


:booty: :laughing:

 

Azalea was drawing the other day and I asked her what she was doing. She replied "Working on my opportunity!" LOL

 

It was a very good day at preschool today. The boys were behaving and actually took a nap. We thought we'd go out for ice cream and a Red Robins dinner. We had some ice cream and were on our way to Red Robins for dinner (I know, backwards, but who said ice cream can't be dinner?). I get Cameron out of the car. This was the conversation that followed....

Cameron: It's dark out.
Me: It's night time.
Cameron: It's not that dark out.
Me: Well.... (the sky was very black as the sun was already down when I picked him up from school)
Cameron: When it gets dark and spooky and chilly, then it's night time.
Me: Spooky?
Cameron: Yes, spooky. That's when we go to bed.

 

A few days ago while getting dressed, I was jumping into a pair of shorts, and Donevan said, "Mommy your shaking your booty!"

The same day he handed my one of my bras and said, "Here are your boobies"

Today on the way home from his first day are his new daycare I asked him if he made and friends and what their names were. His answer, "Yes, but I am not big enough to remember their names yet. Maybe next yr."

 

Yesterday DD was trying to dance with DS. They have about as much rhythm as I do (which is none at all) and finally DS turns around to DD and says, "Leave myself alone!"
My mom and I were :help: "Myself?"

 

I don't know about this being funny, but more a sweet moment...

Today, we had a nice visit with Santa Claus at the mall. The boys enjoyed their visit with Santa and took advantage of telling him they were good boys and what they wanted for Christmas. He was a pleased Santa to hear that! After the mall, we decided to go to Cheesecake Factory for lunch. We didn't have their wipes with us so I took one of the boys in to wash his hands in the bathroom (DH took Cameron and I took Kiefer). On our way to the sink, an elder lady was just finished up in the sink area and was about to leave when Kiefer said to her...

Kiefer: Santa is coming to my house and bringing me a Buzz Lightyear!
Lady: Oh? You must have been a very good boy!
Kiefer: Yes I am! I am a big boy! I am Kiefer!
Lady: Oh how wonderful! Have a great Christmas! (Then she left with the biggest grin on her face. I think Kiefer just made her day!)

 

Today when the girls got home from pre k the tv in the living room was on and some show was on that showed a part of the show The Biggest Looser. Ava was so excited and said " I want to be a looser"!!

 

Cue Andrew the drama king!

Me: "Hey Andrew, where did you go with Daddy this afternoon?"

Andrew: *long-suffering, pedantic voice* "I DON'T KNOW. There are lots of things I don't know." :grr:

:lol:

 

Driving to preschool:

Finley: Mommy, why do those houses have their Christmas lights on when the people are sleeping?

Me: I don't know, I guess they wanted to leave them on overnight.

Finley: (angry) That is called wasting batteries!!

Sullivan: Yeah, they are wasting batteries!

:laughing:

 

DD: Mommy, I not a baby, I a big girl
Me: Oh yeah, are you big like Mommy?
DD: No
Me: Are you this high (hand a little shorter then my height)
DD: No. I a big girl like a thumb. (Holds out her thumb to show me, how big she is).
Me: Oh...Oh...okay...big like a thumb, got it.

 

Lily calls anything Snoopy-related "the peanut gallery" and gets so excited. It cracks me up. :laughing: If the Peanuts Xmas song comes on the radio it's "Listen mom! The peanut gallery!" When we got out the Xmas stuff and their snow globes were found she was thrilled about her peanut gallery snow globe. :laughing:

 

We had a late day looking for a stand for our new live Christmas tree. We decided to go to McDonalds for dinner as it was very late and they needed a bath the night before school.

We get to the McDonalds close to our house and started ordering at the drive-thru. I ordered for Jason and myself and ordered for the boys. Here it went...

Me: I'd like to order 2 hamburgers, 1 apple dippers, a medium coke, a #11 medium with a coke and two kids' chicken mcnuggets. Could you make those with apple dippers instead? ...and two milks.
Cashier: Two adults or kids? (confirming the chickens were for the kids meals)
Me: 2 kids.
Kiefer: NO! Not 2 kids! I'm not food!

We had a blast teasing them after that calling them Yummy! It was too funny!! :rofl:

 

My mom was babysitting the twins the other day and it was lunch time, so she fixed their sandwiches while warming up her leftover roast beef with red skin potatoes she was going to eat for her lunch.

Max: Grandma what is that?

Grandma: Roast beef and potatoes

Max: That smells like something that comes out of my butt :woah:


We don't know where he picked up that gem, but my mom had him switch seats and Lily shared her leftovers since she loves roast beef.

 

At Ringling Bros. Circus today and during the performance Finley turns to me and says:

"Mommy, why doesn't the circus have their Christmas decorations up?!"

 

My kids have an upcoming Christmas show for school. They are supposed to practice Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree.
Me: How about we practice Santa Claus is Coming to Town?
Luke: I only sing for Mr. Ed (their teacher) and at school, okay...

I guess I was told.

 

Today, Jason was helping Kiefer get ready to go out. We needed to exchange his new shoes that didn't blink with a working pair of shoes that actually blink like they were supposed to. Kiefer decided to tell his daddy what he was thinking about the new shirt Jason was wearing.

Kiefer: I don't like that shirt.
Daddy: Why not?
Kiefer: Because you are wearing it.

 

Random children rules:
Happy Birthday can only said or sung when there is a cake present. And you have to close your eyes.

Oh and my son gave me instructions on how to take a bath: get undressed and take off my toes first.

I don't know how I managed to survive all these years without my kids telling how to do things.

 

Ivy is such a curmudgeon sometimes. We were talking about how to tell if bananas are ripe, and I said something like, "And they're sweet, like you."

And very soberly, she said, "Yeah. But that's a different meaning of sweet."

OK then!

 

My dd was riding her tricycle the other day when she proudly declared
"mom look I know how to drink and dive now!"

SHe proceeded to show me how she can drive her tricycle and drink her water at the same time. Dh and I cracked up!

 

We have one of those air gun bazooka thingies that you pull back and it hits you with a big gust of air....The following conversations:
"Don't use all the air!!!"---fighting over using it
Me trying to get a snuggle out of JT: "Ok then Jack will snuggle with me." Jack: "Well, I want to shoot you with this gun".....oh how awful that sounded!

 

I was informed today from Aiden that "nana balls was coming to leave nesents under the mis mis knee and eat his cooooookies".

 

In the bath:

Andrew: My penis is magic.

Ivy: *in her most grown up "little mommy" tone* Oh? What does it do?

:rotflmbo: