Funny things your kids have said this week...

sharp vaginas.

Oh.
My.
God.

:ibiggrin:

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

ok I just busted a stitch!!!!

 

The new words to Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes:


"Head, shoulders, knees, and penis!
Knees and Penis!

"Head, shoulders, knees, and butt!
Knees and butt!"

(With all appropriate hand motions, of course!) :rofl:

 

A friend adopted a kitten and I showed Alice a picture of it, and asked her what she would name the kitty since she hasn't been named yet.

Me: "What would you call this kitty?"
Alice: "Appey"
Me: "Appey?"
Alice: "yep, Appey-Tiser."

 

At my last OB appointment, Ava went with me. My OB is so sweet and takes the time to answer all questions, including those of a very curious 4 yr old who loves to play 21 questions LOL!!! My OB was explaining to Ava that all babies are born naked. Ava told my well trained OB that she was wrong!! She told her that OUR baby will be born with clothes on as a matter of a fact he WILL be born with a Cars shirt on LOL!!


have a question?? call my house! I have a couple of kiddos that have all the answers LOL!!

 

So everyday after I pick them up at daycare, I ask them, "What do you want for dinner tonight?"

And everyday, Alice replies, "it's not night, it's daaaaaayyyyyyyyyy, it's not dark outside." No matter how many times I explain it to her, that tonight means, it's going to be night and I want to know what you are going to want in the future, she just doesn't understand. I finally this week learned and started asking them "What do you want for dinner today?"

 

Last week was the final shuttle launch. I figured our nanny would have let the boys watch it, because she knows that DH is a huge space nut (he's an astronomer). So at dinner that night I asked them about it.

Me: Did you guys watch the space shuttle take off today?

Both boys: Yeah!

Me: Did you see it on television?

Nate: No, I saw it on Facebook!

Me: (Laughing uncontrollably; how the heck does he even *know* what Facebook is??)

Jack: No, we saw it on Spacebook!

The conversation was over at that point; DH and I were laughing too hard. :rofl:

I asked our nanny about it later, and she said she let them see it on the computer, but I still don't know how Nate knows about Facebook! :blink:

 

I really love how I come to this thread and this page and my comment about sharp vaginas is at the top. Makes me giggle on the inside every time.

And Spacebook! Hah!


ETfix noun issues. Sheesh!

 

Just a little funny thing today.

Cameron tonight was eating hotdogs and milk. The hotdogs were not a big
hit, but for some reason, the milk was. We watched him as he chugged his
milk like he hadn't had a drink in days (he's great at sipping milk and
he already had milk today, but he was thirsty!). He drank the entire
cup, takes the cup out of his mouth, licks his lips, says with a sigh,
"A-men!" and puts the cup down.

I tell ya, this kid is going to crack me up to pieces!

 

Okay, this isn't so much what she said. . .

The other day, Alice came downstairs. Completely naked except for: A bow tie and a pair of bunny ears. Then she danced a little and ran back upstairs. I died of laughter.

 

Hef would be impressed :rofl:

 

This isn't the twins (although they had some good ones in their time!), Eleanor today told me very seriously; "Leopards are angry, if they see you they eat you. That's why you have to run away." :laughing: We weren't even talking about a related subject at the time, she just came out with it. I had to promise that I would run away from any leopards I chance to meet. :lol:

 

Cameron was in bed tonight as I was tucking him in. I laid down with him when he started to talk about Santa.

Cameron: I don't want Santa to come.
Me: Santa doesn't come yet. He comes at Christmas.
Cameron: I don't want him here.
Me: Why? Why don't you want Santa to come here?
Cameron: I don't like him. He's not good!
Me: But he brings you presents for Christmas.
Cameron (with a huge smile): I like Santa! I like that man! I like his nose!

Later on I had to go back in to his room cause he was crying...

Cameron: Santa is here. I don't want him here! I don't want presents. I want him to go away.
Me: I promise you he's not here. He's in the North pole with Mrs. Claus and that's no where near here. He isn't here at this time.
Cameron: He's not here at this time?
Me: Nope. He's not here now.
Cameron (not truly believing me, started to yell at Santa): Santa! Go away! I don't want your presents! Play with your own toys! Take a bath, take your deers, go home, and go eat!

I found out that DH sang him Santa Claus is Coming to Town earlier this afternoon for nap. He used to like that song. Apparently, he doesn't anymore...for now.

 

This is sad and hysterical all at the same time!!

 

Oh my goodness, the Santa thing is so sad but funny! Sometimes Ivy gets scared of Santa out of the blue too. Just the other day she panicked and told me she does NOT want Santa to come inside our house, because she's afraid of his voice. If he does come in, he has to NOT talk. I told her I'd send him an email. :lol:

Unrelated - here's a good one: the other day, Andrew was playing with the little toy gas station. He told me he was putting gasoline in his butt. I asked why. "To make the poop come out!" I think his reasoning was that since gas makes cars work, it should also make his butt work.

 

The girls are into the Land Before Time show. They were playing pretend and Willow says "I'm a dinosaur!" Azalea replies "You're not a dinosaur, you're a plain old girl."

LOL! :laughing:

 

We went for ice cream yesterday and our local place has a new "Smurf" flavor. When I asked the guy behind the counter what is was, he said they dyed vanilla ice cream blue and put marshmellows in it. Meara asked for it and while she was eating, looked at me and said "Mommy they killed smurfs for this ice cream?" I had to explain the difference between DYED and DIED and I about died laughing :laughing: Oh and it didn't slow her down even though she though she was eating killed smurfs :rofl:

 

Again, I love your girls.

Alice was singing "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly" song and when she was done, she said to Roycie, "I really like the song about the dead lady." Roycie said, "I really like dead flies."



ETfix plural issue. Flys vs Flies. My mother would be ashamed of me.

 

This morning on the way to school, DH was asking the boys if they knew our names.

DH: Boys, what is Daddy's name?
Both: Jason!
DH: Good! What's Mommy's name?
Cameron: Lazy!


:rotflmbo:!! He can't say Eliza very well.

 

We were watching a movie, and Anna licked her toe, which is weird enough. Rick said, "Anna, why did you just lick your toe?" Anna immediately said, "That's what I do when I watch movies." WTF?

 

I forgot another one. Anna has been fascinated by nipples lately. It's like the lost body part no one ever told us about. So she's constantly asking us if we have nipples, and pointing out that she has nipples. So she says to Rick, "Daddy, can I play with your nipples?" Rick said no, and she yelled, "I want to play with your hairy nipples!!" Oy!

 

:rotflmbo:

 

Today was the first day I took Cameron swimming at the public pool since his swim lessons were done. We had a great time and it was time to get ready to go home. I took him in to a locker room stall with me to get us in to our regular clothes. So off went my bathing suit. This was the innocent convo form a very curious little boy about his now undressed mommy...

Cameron: (While staring intensely at my chest as I'm undressing finally asks pointing directly at my boobs...) What are those things?
Me: We'll talk about it in the car on the way home, OK? Not right now.
Cameron: But they are so big!
Me: Shaking my head trying to ignore him....
Cameron: What are they? Why are they so big?

At this point I'm trying my hardest not to burst out laughing as I was in a public place. I just repeated my plea to talk about it in the car and not in the locker room where other people are around.

 

:laughing: Eliza!! :rofl: I would have been mortified too!

Yesterday we had my best friend and her family over for swimming and a cook out. My DS is eating his dinner and finished half of his hot dog. The other half of the hot dog he stands up on his plate and turns to me and says:
"Mommy, this is my Aunt Erica hot dog. Can you see her?"
I was trying hard not to laugh but I replied, "Is this like seeing Jesus on a cheeto or something?"

The other thing is that my kids insist on calling the Aunt Michelle, Uncle Michelle. Only because the one time, one of them slipped up and accidentally called her Uncle Michelle and the whole family was in stitches over it. Now the kids will never call her Aunt and wait for the laughter. Little hams!

 

.....It didn't stop there. I took Kiefer swimming today (Cameron on Saturday and Kiefer today on Sunday). Same situation as before. I'm getting dressed in the locker room stall and Kiefer takes interest in my boobs. Not as much of a conversation as he didn't persist on asking any further questions or making any more comments.

I got my bathing suit off and Kiefer looked surprised at my chest. He too pointed at my boobs, this time specifically at my nipples and asked very loudly, "You got batteries?" :shok:

I nearly died! :rotflmbo:

 

:lol: at all of these!

A couple recent ones... First, on the body part front: Andrew and Ivy had a long conversation about how vaginas open but penises don't open. (They are both little nudists and go around naked all. the. time.) :crazy:

And another - first off, Ivy asks about 10 zillion questions a day. Why, why, why, why, why. The other day I asked her, "Ivy, why do you like playing with ears?" (It's true, she's loved playing with my ears since she was a baby.) And she said, "Mommy, are you trying to pretend that you're ME?"

I could see where this was going (and was cracking up already), but I asked her what she meant. "Because you're asking WHY!" she said. :lol:

 

Last night, I was getting Kiefer dressed in to his Jammies, and I just took his shirt off. Now shirtless, he put his hands on his back and pushed his belly out a little and said in a very serious voice, "Ahhh, my tummy hurts. I'm getting old."

 

I think I have made girls much more appealing to Ryan...

Ryan was holding a anatomically correct toy pig:

Ryan: (pointing to the nipples on above mentioned pig) "Mommy, this is the pigs penis!"
Me: "No bug, those are the pigs teet's, it's how the mommy pig feeds her baby"
Ryan: "you have a penis mommy?"
Me: "No, boys have a penis and girls have a vagina"
Ryan: "ooh girls have an excavator???? Tractors too??????"

 

Ivy pulled out too much toilet paper, and I told her to use less, don't waste, etc. And then she said (with this total ham face she makes when she KNOWS she's going to crack me up), "But I have three vaginas and ten million butts! I need more toilet paper to wipe!" :rotflmbo:

Oh boy, she has my number, yes she does. My inner 13 yr old boy is still rofl about that one. :laughing:

 

Oh my gosh these are so funny!! :laughing:

Mine isn't quite as good but I thought it was cute! Liam and Rylee were bathing and refusing to get out of the tub, the water was already getting cold. Liam is my skinny one and he always gets cold first, I told him "Liam you need to get out before you turn blue!" Rylee pipes up, "Liam turn blue, Rylee turn GREEN!" :lol:

 

A&R currently have "diving swords" and are using them to kill "zambies" or "zombies" depending on which one you ask. Then they argue about the pronunciation of "zombies".

We have the same arguement over the pronunciation of "salsa".

 

Additional Zombie knowledge:

Royce: "When you hit a zombie with a diving sword, candy comes out of his head."
Alice: "Yeah, like a pinata."

 

DH had put DS in time out in his roof. After a minute, DS yells, "GET ME MY LAWYER!" :laughing: Someone's been watching too many Charlie Brown specials!

 

We have been PT all summer with the naked below the waist method when indoors at home. Now that it is getting colder we have been trying to get them back into pants to get used to it. The other night DS comes out of the bathroom without his pants and naked from the waist down.

DD says "Max put your penis away...no girls want to see that".


DH and I looked at each other, bit our lips trying to hold in the laughter, and are still wondering where she came up with that one. When they went to bed DH said he knew he shouldn't say this, but he hopes one day in the distant future a girl will want to see it :laughing: .

 

Last night, we had to go to CVS to pick up a prescription and of course I had to pee (after a nearly two hour bus ride, I always have to pee!) so we went inside. The Rx wasn't ready (of course) so we wandered the store a little. Both wanted to go to the Halloween aisle. We started walking down the aisle, they're oohing and aaahing over the costumes when one of the motion detection decorations went off.

That sent Roycie into a panic. Serious panic. Screaming and carrying on and trying to climb up my arm, flailing, and so I walked back to the pharmacy section saying, "okay Roycie, we're on the other side of the store, I know you got scared, but you don't need to be scared blah blah blah." Some lady looked at Roycie, kind of sympathetically, and Alice said to her, "He's scared of zombies like you should be."