Funny things your kids have said this week...

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by jjzollman, Mar 7, 2011.

  1. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    Here's this week's funniest so far:

    Me: "Finley, your diaper is SOAKED! Where did all this pee come from?"

    Finley: "From my penis."

    Me: "True."

    1 person likes this.
  2. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Me: Luke, can you spell your name?
    Luke: L-U-K-E (slight pause) H!
    Me: There's no H in Luke!
    Luke: That's how I spell my name, Mommy.

    1 person likes this.
  3. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Alice: "A-L-I-C-E." "R-O-Y-C-E." Mommy, there are ten letters in our names together!!

    Me: :shok:

    Alice: "There are five in my name and five in Roycie's and five and five make ten!"

    Me: "That's amazing! Royce can you spell your name?"

    Royce: "Beepboop. Roycie starts with Robots!"
    3 people like this.
  4. AimeeThomp

    AimeeThomp Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    This really cracked me up. :rofl: The girls and my DH were in the girls' room. He gets them to walk on his back, he says it's like a massage. They talk to him the whole time they're walking on his back.

    I hear "Dad, do you have a penis?"
    DH: "yes"
    one of the girls: "Does Cooper have a penis too?"
    DH: "yes"
    one of the girls: "Dad, where is your penis?"


    I was cracking up. DH was just trying to ignore the question with hope that they'd change the subject. Ever since I had the baby there has been a lot of penis talk between my girls.
    2 people like this.
  5. gina_leigh

    gina_leigh Well-Known Member

    Aimee, we have a lot of penis talk around here too sometimes!

    Mine is more of an Awww moment, but just want to share.
    Last night J was doing his bed time breathing treatment (he's been sick) and he really really hates the mask. Well, we were on the couch watching cars. He was sitting in my lap, sort of leaned back against me and Rea was right next to him.
    Well, then he says, "I not like my 'sheen', Mommy. But it's gonna be okay in a minute." Then he showed Rea the "smoke" that was coming up and telling her it's his medicine.
    Then she leans over and lays her head on him and puts her arm around his legs and says, "That's your medicine. It will make you better. It's okay, Buggy."
    He puts his arm around her and says, "Yeah, it's okay. I love you, Sassy."


    My heart melted!!
    2 people like this.
  6. meganguttman

    meganguttman Well-Known Member

    Before naptime:

    R: Mommy, I jump on the couch?
    Me: No. We don't jump on our couches.
    R: But mommy it's my exercise! PLEEEEZZZZZEEEEE?
    Repeat conversation 3-4 times before getting the boys into bed for nap.

    10 mins into naptime:
    R: Sorry Momma, I have no more sleep left in my body.

    Maybe I should have let him jump on the couch!
    1 person likes this.
  7. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    we recently changed the kids from toddler beds to double beds...they've had a few sleepovers and now Ian thinks it should happen every night...anyway this was the conversation the other night when I was putting him to bed...

    Ian "mommy will you sleep with me"
    me "no Ian - I have my own bed"
    Ian "but I'll be alone"
    me "but if I sleep with you then daddy will be alone - I have daddy to sleep with besides you have all your animals to sleep with"
    Ian - mulls this over for a second or two
    me "Ian when you're married you'll have someone to sleep with all the time"
    Ian "mommy when I'm married I think I'll need a bigger bed!"

    I think he thinks it will be him, his spouse and his stuffed animals :laughing:

    oh and the winky discussion drops off after a while!
    1 person likes this.
  8. Leighann

    Leighann Well-Known Member

    The girls went to a birthday party on Sunday and got balloons. Meara's popped on the way home so I had to endure a half hour of crying in the car post-pop: "Mommy I am so very VERY sad! I miss my balloon and I will NEVER have this balloon again!" Then we got home and Ana's balloon got put in time out (I don't remember why). Ana was sitting in hall crying "I'm so very VERY sad. Balloony is so special to me and now she is in time out and I miss her very VERY much!"

    I probably sound like a mean mommy, but I found the whole outpouring of love for 2 helium balloons amusing. :tomato:
    2 people like this.
  9. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My twins just turned 2 and don't have a ton of words, but one word they do know is NO! My hubby was putting Liam's pajamas on last night and when he pulled the top over his head, he pulled Liam's paci out of his mouth. Liam looked him straight in the eye and said "No No No" including the finger shake and everything, before leaning over to pick up his paci again! *giggle*
    1 person likes this.
  10. LMW1015

    LMW1015 Well-Known Member

    My LO's are just finally starting to talk more and they are cracking me up left and right. Not necessarily good things coming out of their mouth but I just can't keep a straight face. I do love that they say please and thank you. :)

    Anyway - the kids (all three) were playing in the twins room last night while I was cleaning up dinner dishes and they play in the closet (big closet and that's where most of the toys are). They kept shutting the door (never a good thing) so I went in and told them they needed to keep the closet door open. Jocelyn said "Get out of my room Momma!" OH MY! Of course I told her not to talk to me like that but I had to turn around quick before I died laughing. I think that was the longest sentence she's used yet. LOL Then this morning my husband went in to get the kids out of bed (normally NEVER does that but he was running late and I was making his lunch). Walker says "Where's MOM?" LOL Oh these kids. The more they talk the more I get some good laughs - much needed laughs!! :)

    Oh - and the twins have taught my 11 month old NO. Next it will be NO WAY (their favorite "word")
    1 person likes this.
  11. nikki_0724

    nikki_0724 Well-Known Member

    The boys have been sick for a while with a cough so from time to time I ask them to lift there shirt so I can watch them breathe and make sure they are not retracting.

    Me: Brandon can you please lift your shirt for a second?

    Brandon: ok ( and he lifts it, then he starts moving his stomach around all funny so I cant see what I need to see)

    Me: Can you please stop doing wiggling your stomach around?

    Brandon: Well I need to breathe you know!!!!

    I told me husband and he said, he has a point..LMAO!!
    2 people like this.
  12. amelowe9

    amelowe9 Well-Known Member

    My DS Owen didn't eat his eggs the other day for breakfast and after they'd sat out awhile, I put his plate on the floor to feed our sweet dog Wrigley. Owen sees this, bends down on to meet Wrigley's face and says, "No Wrigee, that not nice, that Owen's breakfast...Mommy, I want more eggs." I made more and ate them after that! :rolleyes:
    1 person likes this.
  13. vharrison1969

    vharrison1969 Well-Known Member

    My guys say so much funny stuff, it's hard to remember it all! :lol:

    This week we were taking the boys to the grocery store, and were going to Kroger. Nate kept saying "we're going to Costco", "we're going to Meijer", and we corrected him saying that we were going to Kroger today. He says "we're going to ogre!" :laughing:

    We've been playing hide and seek with the boys (mostly Dada hiding), but Jack decided to try hiding last night, so we went along with it. I clearly heard him climbing the stairs, and saw him peeking over the railing (the landing is open to downstairs), but I made a big show of looking for him. I said "is Jack hiding behind the couch" and I heard a little voice from above say "No!". :rofl: I guess he has a lot to learn about playing hide and seek...
    1 person likes this.
  14. Lydia

    Lydia Well-Known Member

    Gotta love this thread. Here's my addition:

    We were looking at pictures of all sorts of animals and I asked the kids which ones had tails.
    Annika: Puppy.
    Ezra: Horse.
    Annika: Daddy.
    Mommy: No, daddy doesn't have a tail.
    Annika: Yes, daddy big tail.
    Mommy: Oh. I don't think so.
    Annika: (pointing to Ezra's penis) Yes. Daddy big, Ezra small tail.

    It's so much fun that they are now talking more. The things they say are hilarious sometimes.
    1 person likes this.
  15. meganguttman

    meganguttman Well-Known Member

    This is one of my favorite threads! Thanks for making me LOL today!

    Oh, I thought of another one. The boys have been asking DH why he has to go to work. His response (once) was "I gotta bring home the bacon!". They thought this was a perfectly exceptable answer.

    That night he was not greeted by cheers and hugs, it was "where's the bacon daddy???". The next day we went to the grocery store and as we passed the bacon Jake said "gotta bring home the bacon!". LOL!
    1 person likes this.
  16. SMax

    SMax Well-Known Member

    After dinner last night...

    DS is calling for DD from the living room: "Maw-ee, maw-ee, maw-ee"
    DD goes around the corner, with a stern look on her face, holding up her pointer finger and says "Jus one minute...jus one minute." ^_^
    1 person likes this.
  17. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    L&L studied the human body last month in preschool. One night last week, Luke was messing around at the dinner table & hit his knee on the underside of the table. He immediately grabbed it & said, "Ow! My patella!" :huh: :lol:
    5 people like this.
  18. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    :laughing: these are great! Keep them coming ladies! :D
  19. pgmummy

    pgmummy Well-Known Member

    My boys are fascinated with the dvd player. There have been very serious consequences for touching the dvd player since the day they jammed two of DH's dvd's in there. One day this week Marc wanted to play with the player and tried to convince me to let him. "Mouse stuck in the rectangle door. Open rectangle door. Please Please Please!"

    If they feel the need to have a BM, but their body is not quite ready they tell me that they don't have to make kak kak anymore because it's "in the tunnel". Pee pee of course comes out of "the hose".
  20. Heathermomof5

    Heathermomof5 Well-Known Member

    Yesterday while shopping a woman asked me if my girls are twins. Ava pipes up and said " no, we are girls" LOL!!
    1 person likes this.
  21. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    Here's an excerpt from Finley and Sullivan playing house the other day:

    (Sullivan at kitchen, with his coffee pot on a platter - Finley approaching and bumping into platter)

    Sullivan: "Honey! You spilled my coffee!"

    Finley: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

    Sullivan: "That's okay. Do you want some toast?"

    Finley: "Not right now, I'm busy."

    Sullivan: "Do you want some cake?"

    Finley: "No thanks, I'm busy."

    They call each other Honey all of the time and it cracks us up! :laughing:
    1 person likes this.
  22. fuchsiagroan

    fuchsiagroan Well-Known Member

    Oh, these are hilarious! :laughing:

    [some background info for what follows: pig is Ivy's favorite stuffed animal, bunny is Andrew's favorite, and elephant is just another stuffed animal.]

    Ivy: "Mommy, pig and bunny are twins! But elephant is just a singleton. [pause, thinking] And bunny came out of pig's tummy. She's the mommy."

    Note: this parallels EXACTLY Ivy's perception of our family. She knows that she and Andrew are twins, and she also thinks she's his mommy and treats him accordingly (ie lots of "helping" him do stuff that he actually wants to do himself). She has also told me that when she grows up, she'll be a mommy, and then Andrew will have two mommies.
  23. vharrison1969

    vharrison1969 Well-Known Member

    Okay, here's another one: Nate and I have had"digestive issues" in the past few days. I came home early from work yesterday, and was sitting in the kitchen with Nate when he let out a prodigious fart. I swear it went on 20 seconds and we both stared at each other in awe while it was going on. Then he looked at me very solemnly and said "There are two poops in there." :lol:
  24. ckreh

    ckreh Well-Known Member

    Lily just said "Mommy will you have a baby for me?". Daddy said "Noooo" loudly from the kitchen :laughing: .
    2 people like this.
  25. ckreh

    ckreh Well-Known Member

    1 person likes this.
  26. nateandbrig

    nateandbrig Well-Known Member

    me to Aly: What's your name?
    Aly: EEEyiSSA
    me: how old are you?
    Aly: EEEyiSSA

    Every single time Aly goes "yucky" (her word for poop) she has to look at it, if it's long it's a banana, if it's round it's a blueberry. My 2 year old Ethan has the hardest time finding the banana and the blueberry that are in the bathroom, but he searches for them every time he's in there :laughing:
  27. ldrane

    ldrane Well-Known Member

    DS had a HUGE BM the other day in the potty. He came running out saying "Mommy come look at the sandcastle I made"!. :lol: I have no idea where he got that from and why he now calls a huge poop a sandcastle. ;)
    1 person likes this.
  28. fuchsiagroan

    fuchsiagroan Well-Known Member

    Oh yes, the poopology! "Mommy, I made a heart poop!"

    Or since they're getting really into the alphabet now, "Mommy, I made a T poop!" "I made a V poop!"

    And they INSIST that I look at every single one of their creations, and they're not happy until they hear, "Wow, that does look just like a V!" <_<
  29. Aeliza

    Aeliza Well-Known Member

    Cameron was getting put to bed tonight and it was my turn to tuck him in. Cameron was giggling adn wiggling about wanting a hug from his daddy and Kiefer. They finished their hugs and Cameron looked at me and said, "Mommy has a boogie in there!" Then he changed his view to the left side and said, "Mommy has a boogie there too!"


    I can't believe it! That was too funny! Jason just sat there laughing did I. How can you not! Of course, I looked in the mirror later on and there were no boogies to be found. Silly boy!
  30. ldrane

    ldrane Well-Known Member has a name! Poopology~ too funny, love it! :laughing:
  31. MrsWright

    MrsWright Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    :rotflmbo: :rotflmbo: :rotflmbo: These are tooooo funny!!!!

    All from this morning....

    Jack: "Me want Handy Manny fruit snacks!"
    JT: "Nope, all gone Honey"

    Jack (pulling his underwear down): "Oh goodness" then he proceeds to poop..."OH MY GOSH!!!!!"

    Playing with a punch balloon that wasn't his JT finally hands it to Jack who is throwing a tantrum on the floor over something else...
    JT: "Your turn Jack, here ya go"
    Jack (stops crying/whining): "No, me grumpy."
  32. Lynn76

    Lynn76 Well-Known Member

    This isn't from one of the twins but from my oldest at 5yrs old.

    The other night he was taking a bath and I heard him making some bubbles but by the sound of them, he wasn't blowing them with his mouth.

    I looked in and said "Sounds like you're tooting"
    He said, "Yep, tooting like a fog horn!!!" :rotflmbo:

    Now anytime someone toots, he pipes up and say "Tooting like a fog horn"!
  33. pinkpoonani

    pinkpoonani Active Member

    Yesterday Ashton stuck a sticker on the side of his head, and Carter started giggling and said "little girl!" and kissed him on the head. Ashton did sort of look a little Girly with a sticker right where a girls bow would be.
  34. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    Poopology - LOVE it!!!

    Abby always says (when its really big) that she has a hot dog poop :bad:

    and if she's pooping she'll yell for me to hit the fan!
  35. maryjfb

    maryjfb Member

    After getting a shot at the doctor:

    "Mommy, the lady poked me!"
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