Frustrated with SIL about baby middle name

No offense, but I cannot fathom why it would frustrate you so much, that she used a name you liked as a middle name.

I would never dream of asking anyone's permission on what I should name my child, and would never expect anyone to ask my permission on what they choose to name their child.
It's a free country.

No one "owns" a name - especially a middle name. :wacko:

 

That's just silly.

 

I have two cousins that named their daughters Lauren less than a year apart (they are cousins to each other, not siblings) they are a lot older than me and I wasn't close enough to them to get the "dirt" but I've wondered since having my own kids if there were hurt feelings there.

My Dad had four brothers and all five of them had the middle name Jacobs - their mothers' maiden name.

I say name our children what you like - you're the ones that will either be glad or regretful later.

 

Hey there, in my family we have middle names like that as well. My brother and 2 of my cousins all have the Maxwell as their middle name, as it is their grandfathers middle name. My brother and one of the cousins both have an additional middle name b/c of their dad. I don't see it being a big deal if they have the same middle name, the same first name would be different. Also there are only three girl cousins on my mom's side of the family and two of us have the same middle name, Dornell, and it has never bothered me. I think you should use the middle name that you want if you have a boy!

 

I'll be honest I am a stickler on having very unique names and I don't like my kids to have names like anyone else. We gave our son the same middle name as my brother. It was something that my husband and I just wanted as he is a very important part of our kids lives. That was 7 years ago and he had no one in his life then.. we'll he is now married and their little man will be 2 next month.. Guess what he has the same middle name as our boy. They gave him that middle name as it was her grandfathers and brothers and husbands.. It really doesn't bother me, me the one who hates her kids having the same name as anyone else. But I now think it's sweet for the boys to share that with each other. I wouldn't let it bother you really!!

 

QUOTE(rhc0607 @ Feb 19 2009, 07:58 PM) [snapback]1196697[/snapback]
So here's the story: My husband's middle name is Samuel as is his father's middle name. Well my SIL decided that when she had her last baby she would use that middle name for her son. That was three years ago and it kind of pissed me off that she didn't even ask if we might want to use that middle name if we were to ever have a boy, but whatever. Well now being pregnant and finding out the sexes of the babies tomorrow, we are narrowing down our names. For a boy we have decided on the name Reece, but can't think of a middle name. My husband's initials are RSC and he wanted his son to have the same initials. We were talking about using Samuel since it is both his and his father's middle name, but remembered that my SIL already took it. I guess I am just angry that she never came to us and asked us if we might want to use that for our baby if we had a boy and that it was a family name for my husband's family. When she took that name, she said she wanted to use it so her son could be named after my husband and to honor him. Ugh, I know it might be stupid, but I realize that there aren't that many names that begin with "S."

*Also my FIL is not the father to my SIL, why couldn't she use her father's middle name or anything on her husband's side!



I haven't read every reply, but, personally, I hated my father. I never would have given my son his name. I am, though, very close with my FIL. Maybe she doesn't get on with her Dad, or maybe she simply doesn't like his name. No matter how much I loved someone, if their name was, say Ogilvie Bartemius, I wouldn't name my kid that!! Also, it's traditional for a firstborn son to use family names from his Dad's/Grandad's side. Also, maybe she was sucking up. My SIL did this-she knows that the more she sucks up to my MIL and FIL the more money and "stuff" she'll get off them, because they love to be flattered.

Also, at the risk of sounding bitchy, how many years ago was this? Should she *really* have had to clear her name choice with you "just in case you wanted to use it", if you *maybe* had kids in 10 years, and you *maybe* decided you liked that name?? I think that seems unreasonable. For that matter, it doesn't really even make a difference if you were already pregnant. She had her baby first. How would you react if she came to you, and handed you a list and said "These are the names you're not allowed to use, in case we get pregnant again, and want to use them!". I have a feeling you'd tell just just where the bear went potty in the buckwheat. I know I would.

I think all Moms tend to try and "make everything about us and our kids" to a certain degree. That's kind of what you're doing by getting all worked up about the name. Use it anyway. Heck, use it for a first name. If she says you named your baby after her son, just correct her if you feel you must. If your husbands middle name is Samuel, everyone is going to know that logically, he's named after your husband. It's like being a kid. Either be prepared to eat the cupcake that's the same as your brothers, or get over it that he got to the one you wanted first.

Just my tuppence worth.
x
Becky

 

My son's middle name is Daniel after my brother and my dad (step father). My brother who mind you was only 18 4 years ago and not even thinking of kids was thrilled. But if he has boys in the future it wouldn't bother me and I'm kinda expecting Daniel to be the first or middle name to his. I dont really see the problem if their close cousins which mine probly will be because my brother and I are like best friends then its not like they both have the same first name and are getting confused. If you really want to use that name I would go with it.

 

I would use it anyway. It's the middle name so it wouldn't be confusing when they are around each other cause you will call them by their first names. If I had a girl I really wanted to name her after my grandma, Lillian and my SIL wanted to use that name too and said "I don't care if you name yours that I'm still naming mine that." Now I'm having two boys and she finds out in a few weeks what she has and I bet it's a girl... Grrr... I'll be so mad.

 

My brother (and his wife) and I have done this to each other. I named my son Jonathan Vincent and called him Jack. Both my Dad and brother are Johns and my brother hated being a junior so as a kid he tried to change to Jack and it never worked. When my son was born we didn't even know he was dating. Years later his wife is pg and I was worried before we found out the baby is a girl!

My twins are Elizabeth and Josephine and they are naming their daughter Mia Elizabeth... oh well