For those that did/do Co-sleep and/or not CIO

Discussion in 'General' started by KeriU, Feb 24, 2011.

  1. KeriU

    KeriU Well-Known Member

    Starting to wonder if I am in the minority of people here that do not do CIO and who co-sleep. Co-sleeping is going great for us. I am actually getting more sleep than I was when they were sleeping in their crib at night and I absolutely love it. It is great waking up next to my babies! Was wondering for those of you that did co-sleep how long you co-slept? And how did they do at nap times when you weren't able to nap with them?

    As far as not CIO goes I never did it with my three year old and have been reading "the baby sleep book" by Dr. Sears and am more convinced that CIO is something I do not and will not do...as this is the best decision for us. Obviously the book isn't directed at twins so I have to figure somethings out on my own. I am finding the most difficulty in getting them to nap. When they are tired at the same time it is hard to get them both to sleep at the same time and then I usually end up with one napping and one that is over tired and cranky because they cannot go to sleep at this point. Any thoughts or suggestions on this? I usually spend a great deal of time rocking and "ssshhhh" one baby. Ellie will actually go to sleep on her own if I put her down drowsy enough, she doesn't fuss or anything, but I have to put her down at exactly the right time. Then sometimes I feel bad that I have to spend more time with Luke and putting him to sleep. I am constantly worrying that I am spending more time with one over the other and I try and make it even as possible!

    I would appreciate any thoughts on either topic here.
     
  2. Meximeli

    Meximeli Well-Known Member

    Hi. I cosleep and also would never do CIO.
    With my twins I coslept with them for a year. Then I transitioned them into their own bed--it was a twin matress sized crib that my BIL made for us. They slept in there together until they were 5--it was low to the ground and around 2 and a half we started leaving the gate down so they could get in and out on their own, but has rails on either end and a bit on the side so they wouldn't fall out. At about 3 and a half we took the rails off altogether. At 5 they got a second bed, one still using the same bed as always.
    The great thing about this crib was I could climb in there with them. So I could lie down with them until they fell asleep.
    Maybe I'm extrodinarily lucky, but they always fell asleep with in a few minutes. Could be they are naturally good sleepers or could be because they knew I was near. :angel:

    For naps my girls always napped on a mat in the livingroom. That way I could do other stuff with them. I could also lie down to nurse them to sleep.
    They were in daycare after a year and were always really tired when they got home and napped really well in the late afternoons when they were at home (still on mats on the livingroom floor). On the weekends from two to three sometimes they had trouble napping, but usually fell asleep in the car within ten minutes, so I'd grab a book, put them in the car, then drive to a park, park in the shade and stay there until they woke up, then drove home.

    With the baby I have now, he doesn't have a bed yet and he naps in the hammock, but like you said, with two its another ball game. No other baby to worry about. And at six my girls don't need me all the time.
     
  3. 2 Munchkins

    2 Munchkins Well-Known Member

    I only let the girls sleep with us when they woke up at night, and wouldn't go back to sleep after a few minutes, especially in the first 6 months or so. After thaty they pretty much slept throught he night. We only did CIO for a max of 5 minutes.
     
  4. twoplustwo

    twoplustwo Well-Known Member

    I co-slept with them for about 5 months then they started to not sleep well and putting them in their own bed made a HUGE difference and they slept much better on their own. (that made me very sad but it was best for them.) I co-slept with my oldest for a few months (until she learned to lift her legs up and drop them down, pulling the covers off dh and I [​IMG] She has always "run a little hot" and not liked covers.) and my ds for about a year - a total snuggle bug. It really was an individual thing and what worked best for each one.

    they always napped in their crib, no real problems with them napping in a different place other than our bed since this is how it always was for them. I never napped with them. I do think it helped them to learn to not depend on me being next to them in order to go to sleep.

    As far as CIO, we did that with all the kids and it worked great.
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. twinmom2dana

    twinmom2dana Well-Known Member

    We co-slept with our boys after trying to CIO. I just couldn't stand it, I had never done it with our others and it just wasn't working for me, or them. Co-sleeping was wonderful for us and we did so til they were 2. Mainly because we lived in a small house and had no place else to put them except with their sister or brother. They napped on a pallet in the living room. Once we moved to our new house they transitioned to their own beds and their own room. They got up every so often and would come in our room but for the most part have been content. We have an air mattress ready for set up for if one of them is ill and needs comforting. Our current baby starts in his bassinet and then with us when he needs to feed.
     
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  6. cricket1

    cricket1 Well-Known Member

    As for naps, try to put them down a little earlier. Before they are really tired. If they are too tired they do not tend to go to sleep or sleep well. my two would play a little and then settle in for a nap. Some days were easier than others.

    We did not do either when they were little as they got older one tended to sleep with us more often but that was because he woke up at night and many nights it was easier to bring him in. He slept better with me. He also slept better when he was with his brother, this we did not find out until they were two and we put them in a big bed together. But he was baby a and always slept better when "confined" we decided it was because he was used to being squished! LOL
     
  7. Chrissy Nelson

    Chrissy Nelson Well-Known Member

    We co slpt till 2 1/2 (yes we are crazy). It was just easier. It was not a problem for us but seemed to annoy others that heard about it. Napping stopped for us around 18 months.

    CIO always seemed mean to me so I just could not do it. I would breastfeed so that is normally how the girls would go to sleep or be comforted.
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. Meximeli

    Meximeli Well-Known Member

    I also remembered that my girls slept really well in their stroller--a double jogging stroller. This was a big plus because I could go places and do things and not have to worry about interrupting their sleep because they slept really well in the stroller. I would totally recommend getting your kids used to sleeping in the stroller. Also I never had a swing or anything like that but I could rock them both in the stoller. I would sit in the kitchen or out in the yard on a nice day, and push the stroller away from me, then pull it back with the wrist strap. I did that from behind the stroller so they couldn't see me and want to be held. On days when one or both were feeling fussy this really helped lull them to sleep.
     
  9. eagleswings216

    eagleswings216 Well-Known Member

    We never officially co-slept, although our boys didn't sleep well forEVER, and we would end up many nights with them on the sofa or air mattress in the extra bedroom. I never, ever slept well when I was holding them - I am a very light sleeper, and everything wakes me up, so there is no way I would get a full night's rest with them with me all night, or even in the same room for that matter.

    As far as CIO, I swore I would never, ever do it. But, after 9 months of not ever sleeping through the night and trying every sleep method I could find, I gave in and did it. It was honestly the best thing we ever did. Did I feel mean at first? Yes. But the good outweighs the bad - our boys now go down completely on their own and sleep through most nights from 7:15-6am or 6:30am. Before CIO, we were up 5-6 times a night still and were totally wiped out. We did go in at longer and longer intervals, though - I simply couldn't do the cold-turkey CIO. Our boys are happier than they were before, and I really believe it is because they are more well-rested. You have to do what is right for you - CIO was right for us. For some people, CIO isn't right or even necessary, and that is totally okay. Each child and family is different.
     
  10. Meximeli

    Meximeli Well-Known Member

    Keri,

    Here's an article that might help you. http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/allowing-crying/

    I can't believe that once again, someone posts that they are against CIO and several people respond saying Hey it worked for me. Yeah, that's fine. It worked for you--great. But Keri is looking for support help from people who are like her--she clearly states the CIO is something will not do.
     
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  11. KeriU

    KeriU Well-Known Member



    Having a giant size crib would be great for when they nap or get bigger. They wake each other up or end up with limbs hanging out of the bars when I put them in one crib together, so they usually napping alone.

    I have found that they like the stroller and sleep well in it. I am looking forward to warmer weather, unfortunately in Nebraska the weather is up and down all the time. Last week we went to the park four times...they napped almost the entire time everytime, and today it is snowing like crazy! I will use the stroller napping a lot in the spring and until it gets too hot.
     
  12. KeriU

    KeriU Well-Known Member

    thanks for the website. It was an interesting article. I practice attachment parenting and really like the website overall.
     
  13. KeriU

    KeriU Well-Known Member

    It is nice to see that people have co-slept for all different periods of time. I love it and plan to until they are at least one. Ellie might give up before then as she really likes her space, but we will play it by ear. I am sure the transition to big beds won't be a cakewalk, but I am up for it especially when we all reap the benefits of co-sleeping. (and I will not use cry it out at this point either)
     
  14. JMB

    JMB Active Member

    We don't co-sleep on a regular basis, mostly because there isn't any room in our double bed, but we don't believe in CIO either. At 3 months we had a terrible trouble with naps, so I can totally relate. I was able to "teach" my boys to fall asleep on their own in a gentle way and we never had to resort to CIO.

    I read Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Twins for the science on sleep, not for his CIO methods, and found that his sleep begets sleep concept was spot on. His idea is that sleep needs to be good quality and frequent so stress hormones don't build up and keep kids from being able to wind down to sleep. He also outlined sleepy signs to keep an eye on so that you can put your babies down for a nap in time, before they are over tired. I would put my boys down no more than 1.5 hours after they woke up the previous time, sometimes it was 1.25 hours, depending on their sleepy signs. Sometimes I would blow it and it would take a lot of soothing to get them to sleep. It was my philosophy that sleep was good no matter how they got it, and there were a lot of naps with both of them in the moby wrap since that was my go to way to ensure they would get sleep.

    My overall goal was for them to be able to fall asleep without my help, but I knew it wasn't going to happen instantly. At that point my boys were sleeping in a co-sleeper in our room at night (and sleeping well), but they just couldn't fall asleep in the co-sleeper during the day for naps. One day out of sheer desperation to get them to nap, I put them in my bed, flung my arm across both of them and fell asleep myself, they slept for an hour and a half and we all felt better. That gave me the clue that I needed to help them fall asleep, but that if I changed things gradually, I could probably teach them how to do it on their own (without crying). With all sleep problems, I've kept my goal in mind and incrementally made small changes to achieve that goal. My goal with naps was that they would be able to fall asleep on their own, without crying. So after that good nap in our bed, all naps were in our bed. At first I pretended to sleep next to them. I always avoided them being able to see my face since if they did, it would start the wind down process all over again. I was there if they needed soothing, mostly patting, shushing or sucking on my finger (my boys didn't take pacifiers). Since they were in the same bed, I could do it at the same time (with some serious contortions on my part :)). Soon I was able to just lay down next to them and they would fall asleep and I could sneak out of the room. Not long after that I would lay them on our bed and sit on the floor and they would fall asleep. Next I was able to just lay them on our bed and walk away and they would fall asleep. Then I felt the need to get them in their crib so that they wouldn't roll off the bed (even though they were swaddled), and they made that transition without any difficulty.

    Another book to check out is the "No Cry Nap Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It is so great that the book is nap specific, since that was my problem.

    Good luck!
     
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  15. MarchI

    MarchI Well-Known Member

    This. We never co-slept because I have sleep issues so adding two more people into our room would have made it worse for me. However, we followed HSHC to the T and never had to CIO because it taught them how to go to sleep for naps and at bed time. Also, we swaddled until they were about 5 months old. They loved being snug and safe. At 18 months, we had a period where Henry was displeased at being put to bed. We made bed time later (it was at 630, now 7) and did as recommended in the no-cry toddler sleep solution book. We told him we would be back in 5 mins to check on him and we went after 5 mins. It took 3 nights of having to check more than 1x and he understood we weren't leaving him and he now goes to sleep again.
     
  16. Christel

    Christel Well-Known Member

    We always put ours in their beds at first, but afterr the first waking, they come into our bed. That included the twins. I need sleep and that is the best way for me to get it. I can nurse in my sleep that way. I do not have issues with CIO, though, and have no problems doing it when they get to an age where we feel it's needed.
     
  17. KeriU

    KeriU Well-Known Member

    So what age were you able to lay down with them in bed. I haven't really tried that, but my husband has at night and Luke does not take to that very well. He fusses a ton. He seems to always need bounced. I have an exercise ball that I sit on and bounce him to sleep that way.
    Also, I have a moby and love it. When they were smaller I could carry them both in them but now that they are bigger I am not sure if it is possible to put them in it together...is this possible for sleeping now that they are bigger, or for short things like walking to neighbors for playdate type thing.
    I like your transition idea and may try this, I just hope Luke can fall asleep in bed. I do have a three year old and he just can't seem to keep himself occupied long enough for me to get them to sleep. When I have to tend to him the babies just wake up even more.
     
  18. Chrissy Nelson

    Chrissy Nelson Well-Known Member

    Co bedding is something you have to find your own groove with. We would sleep one adult to the bed, the kids and a bed rail. Devon was not a fan of co parenting at first but he knew I was very passionate about it. I never read any books it is just what came naturally to me. Same with wearing a sling or a Baby Bjorn carrier. It just felt more natural to me to have them on me than in a stroller (as well as easier). My DH went with it and actually agreed. We tried CIO once and I actually ended up being the one crying. Again DH saw that I personally was not a fan and that I preferred the comforting method. As babies swings tended to work a bit better with naps as well as baby carriers.
     
  19. JMB

    JMB Active Member

    When we were doing all of the nap stuff I described above, it was between 3-4 months and my guys were 34 weekers. They didn't always like laying down with me, but it worked the one time, so I had some confidence with the right amount or combination of soothing techniques, that I could get them calmed down and asleep. There were a few times that I needed to just do the wear a baby thing and bounce on a ball and hopefully the other one was asleep. But once they started to sense the pattern (swadddle, get into bed, Mama lays down with us) it did get easier. This is also where Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Nap Solution book might come in handy for your little guy, she has some good suggestions for all sorts of sleep issues, including getting the in arms napper to sleep in a bed.

    I can't wear them both in a moby now (combined they weigh about 38 lbs. at 9 mos), but I can wear them in 2 ergos, one on the front and one on the back. In fact a month or so ago we had a really bad nap day (because mommy couldn't read their nap signals and realize that they were going from 3 naps to 2 naps...) and I ended up going for a long walk with both of them on me and they got a much needed snooze in, and I got a walk to clear my head. I don't remember when the moby stopped working because they got too big, but it seemed like I was able to do it for longer than I thought possible. It was also possible to wear one baby and hold the other one and bounce on the ball if needed. Unfortunately your kiddos are probably still too floppy for a back carry for the 2 ergo carry, but know that it will be possible in the future.

    Good luck. Naps can be so challenging and I didn't have another child to care for. Just hang in there and remember sleep is sleep, no matter how or where it happens!
     
  20. MeredithMM

    MeredithMM Well-Known Member

    We also co-sleep and are very anti-CIO, or at least anti-cry alone in the crib. My boys always have cried themselves to sleep on many days, and even now still do sometimes. They HATE going to sleep because they are so active. This was the case whether they were being rocked or held or whatever. When they were really young I can wear them in a sling to sleep, but after about 5 months that was not an option for my back. haha.

    Anyway, Our boys are 18 months old and still cosleeping. I had intended to move them out at a year, but we've found something that works and so we're just sticking with it. I imagine we will transition them before 2 but who knows. I enjoy the closeness and cuddles so much, and I know, for us, this was the right decision. I know I will never ever forget the sweetness of waking up to them talking to me in the morning. So, so cute.
    What I also really like about co-sleeping is that they can go to sleep anywhere as long as I'm there, so that's made travel easy.

    With naps (and bedtime) I would lay down beside them until they fell asleep. They would cry sometimes, but I would just lay there next to them and sing or whatever until they fell asleep. Sometimes I would throw my arm over them to keep them from running off because I knew they were exhausted and had to sleep.

    I have always done their naps in their room and they sleep on a twin mattress on the floor. So I am hoping when we get ready to transition them out of our bed it won't be a big deal because they are already used to having naps in there.

    Good luck!!
     
  21. Heathermomof5

    Heathermomof5 Well-Known Member

    I have co slept with all 5 of my kids. My older 2 boys around 1.5 decided that they liked to have their own space. When my twins were born I had every intention of having them sleep in their own room then my dad moved in with us and needed their bedroom so we moved their cribs into our room but I breastfed and found it easier to just have them in the bed with us. THEN at 18 months my dh was transferred and was gone for a year - the girls stayed in my bed and my 8yr old also moved in to my bed. NOW my girls are 4 - dh works nights and I sleep in the girls room with them. On the weekends after the girls are asleep I move to my bedroom. Dh and I are on totally different schedules because he works all night and sleeps all day - even on the weekends he stays up very very late and wants to sleep very very late so it works for us! When the new baby is born, I will put his crib in the girls room and a bassinet in my room. That way I will have options but we will probably sleep in the girls room most of the time so when dh is asleep we wont wake him. So my girls are 4 and we still co sleep. I have never done CIO. The new baby will need to sleep in his crib close to my side of the bed because my other co sleepers are 4 and ALL over the bed!

    My then 8yr old had a twin bed at the foot of the girls bed from the time we moved up here until a couple of months ago - he caved under pressure from his brothers that having to sleep in the room with momma is babyish. so he sleeps in his own bed in his own room now!
     
  22. CROSSTWINS

    CROSSTWINS Well-Known Member

    My girls will be 4 in May and they still sleep with us. Not the best situation for me to get much sleep but it works for us. CIO was not the thing for our family. Sometimes I think back and wish I would have kept them in their beds. I have a 14 year old also and she slept with me until she was 6. They grow up so fast and they wont sleep with me forever.
     
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