First time mom!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Help' started by Larusso, Feb 4, 2014.

  1. Larusso

    Larusso New Member

    Hi all,
    I am 28 years old and a first time mom. I just had my 12 week ultrasound and found out I am having twins. I am freaking out to say the least! I immediately started crying and panicking when the doctor showed me the ultrasound. My pregnancy up until this point has not been an easy one. I just started a new job that I hate and I am dealing with anxiety and depression because of that on top of the worries of expecting a baby. To find out that I am not expecting one but two babies has added a whole other level of anxiety and I am terrified that I will not be able to handle it. I wanted a baby but my anxiety and depression has not allowed me to enjoy my pregnancy the way I always thought I would. I am terrified of having postpartum depression and am worried that twins will make that even more likely. Is there anyone else who has dealt with a similar situation or was initially unhappy about the news of expecting twins?? I know it is a blessing and I should be thrilled and all that stuff, but at the moment I just don't feel that way and don't know how to cope with it. Any and all advice or help is welcomed! 
  2. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Your reaction and feelings are completely normal-I remember feeling *exactly* the same way after finding out I was expecting twins.  :hug:
    Welcome to TS, hopefully being apart of this community will help give you some of the support you need. :welcome:
  3. mommymauro

    mommymauro Well-Known Member

    OH YA... completely normal...
    i was not planning on having any more children (i had one son and he was all i could handle) so when i found out i was pregnant and then to find out there were two... i said "Oh Fudge" on the ultra sound table... except i didn't say fudge, i said the mother of all bad words... the F dash dash dash word.... and cried my eyes out the whole car ride home... i didn't even want to be pregnant much less with twins... i faint when i throw up... so every time i had morning sickness someone would have to follow me to the bathroom to keep my face out of the toilet water that i just lost my lunch in so i wouldn't drown... so ya... it sucked... plus it was 2008 so we had lost half our savings to a crashing stock market... the house that was the perfect size for a family of 3... that we put WAY too much money in to was now worth less then we paid for it before we redid the master bath, put in wall to wall hard wood floors, kitchen... BUT everything happens for a reason... and now 6 years later... i am so happy it did... HINDSIGHT... someone knew what they were doing when i got pregnant while on birth control... and it makes my a little sad to think what my life would be like right now if they didnt fall into my lap ...
    So ya... you are not alone in your feeling... NORMAL!!!
  4. rayceryin12

    rayceryin12 Well-Known Member

    You are not alone!

    Welcome!!!! :)
  5. threebecamefive

    threebecamefive Well-Known Member

    My daughter was 8 months old and my husband was a full time student two hours away. We were surviving on student loans and my teacher salary. The second pregnancy was a huge surprise (long story really short - We had a difficult time conceiving my daughter and were told the chances of becoming pregnant a second time were pretty slim and we'd probably need medical assistance. Wrong!). I was so excited to be pregnant, but so stressed about money and the fact that I would be pregnant and then taking care of three babies on my own while my husband finished his degree. I had many moments throughout my pregnancy when I wondered if I could do it, should I do it, how would I be able to do it, etc. I don't share those thoughts with really anyone, but I had them. I was so worried and stressed out, but everything turned out just fine. I deal with chronic insomnia, depression and anxiety as well. I survived, we survived, finances were really rough and we're still paying back student loans that helped us survive, but I feel so incredibly blessed to be the mom of these three awesome kids. I love my daughter and my boys so, so much and cannot imagine life without them. My twins are 8 now, and I still marvel at all the little things that are so special between twins, and also love the bond that all three have being so close in age.
    Best wishes to you for a happy and healthy pregnancy! Do your best to relax and enjoy the ride. Take advantage of all the moms on this forum! There is a huge amount of experience here for the asking!
  6. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I was a first time Mom with my twins and I remember getting the news and feeling so anxious and overwhelmed afterwards.  Looking back on it, I can't say that I was unhappy but I was so anxious, I could not take joy in the news.  I do remember saying to my husband, 'I don't know how to care for one baby, let alone two!'
    What helped me get through it was just talking to my husband, friends, and Mom.  I was in therapy at the time, so talking to my therapist also helped me.
    I wish you all the best in your pregnancy :hug:
  7. ECUBitzy

    ECUBitzy Well-Known Member

    Big, big hugs! Your reaction is completely normal (as you can see from your responses so far!). Our girls were also our first (and only) and I'm not really a "kid person" so I worried about whether I would even know how to parent one.. let alone two. I also worried about money, space, and logistics (my husband teaches and I was an office manager at the time). I'm a total type A planner personality, so I had a hard time letting go of my expectations and living in the moment.

    It all works out, though. Give yourself time to just feel whatever you need to feel. Having two at once is amazing and beautiful and it's fun! If you're worried about PPD or anxiety, just make sure you're talking to your doctor and your spouse about those feelings so that they can support you. Understand that there's no "right" way to react- you're perfectly normal.

    Welcome to Twinstuff!! We're glad to have you and to be your sounding board as you need us.
  8. Larusso

    Larusso New Member

    Thanks so much for all of the encouraging words!! I know it will take me some time to get used to, but hearing other women with similar stories and feelings definitely makes me feel less alone!  I am glad I found this forum!  One more follow up question....  Does anyone have any advice for job searching while pregnant, like whether or not or when to tell a potential employer that you're pregnant??
  9. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    This forum/site will help support you through all the twin stages, we're good at that!
    I think if it were me, I'd wait until I was offered the position before telling them you're expecting, I know it seems unfair to not warn them in advance but you dont want to squelch your chances. 
  10. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    :welcome:   and congrats on your twins!!
    Like others have said, your reaction is normal.  It can be scary when you first find out you are having twins. :hug:
  11. rayceryin12

    rayceryin12 Well-Known Member

    I would what until you are hired. It's not their business really. And it's illegal for them to ask.
  12. paperclippy

    paperclippy Well-Known Member

    Also a first time mom of twins here! It definitely took me a while to get over the shock of finding out I was having twins. I had a lot of anxiety the whole pregnancy and I'm not gonna lie, the first six months were rough. Just make sure you have lots of support!
  13. Jenz7520

    Jenz7520 New Member

    I was told I wouldnt be able to carry a baby. At 7 weeks my boyfriend and I found out we were a expecting, when we went to the appointment we found out it was twins we were both nervous wrecks, anxiety, happiness and all sorts of mixed emotions arise. Its normal to be scared, its two babies but its also twice the blessing.
    I'm currently at 9 weeks and I cant wait for the time to go fast enough where I can at least reach my 3 months and not panic so much. Everyday I worry and I want to make sure everything is okay.
    I wish you nothing but the best and hopefully you can figure out the job situation. Is there a possibility you can find a new job? I feel terrible for you, I know that feeling I had to leave my prior job after a miserable year of constant stress and fatigue.
  14. riftara

    riftara Member

    I felt exactly the same way, and this is #4&5.
    I don't know how we are going to make it work, but I'm determined to make it and that's what's important.
  15. mamapagetw

    mamapagetw New Member

    well yes, your reactions are completely normal!

Share This Page