Finally getting up the nerve to ask....

I think it is completely normal to feel that way. I tried for almost 5 years to conceive and was thrilled to find out there were two. A friend of mine had a sinlgeton a few weeks before my girls and her life hasn't slowed down much since then. She is always on the go with the baby whereas I feel I can't leave the house with two by myself especially if there is a feeding time involved. I feel guilty I can cuddle with them each as much as I could with a singleton. Handling two babies is hard. Then I see their two little smiley faces and see them staring at each other and it melts my heart. I feel so lucky to have the both of them and I feel fortunate they will have each other growing up.

 

I felt that way for a long time, probably at least 6-8 months. One unique joy of twins though is watching their personalities emerge. It is so amazing to watch the similarites, differences and interactions!! It is truly different from having a singleton. more intense, unique joys and certainly unique frustrations!! The logistics are much more difficult than having one. Don't beat yourself up, you feel what you feel, it isn't wrong or right. Hopefully though, knowing it is common will help you be more at peace with it. I know it sounds trite right now - but it does get much easier. The first few months, having twins is so much more difficult than a singleton, so far, you have mostly experience the downside of twins. They truly enjoy each other, look out for each other. It is very sweet. Oh yes, they fight too but when one is sad, the other will run over and give her a binky or a toy. Now, when one wants a sippy, she will insist on getting two, and take her twin one :wub:

 

Usually when people post things like this I get upset. But the way you phrased everything, I can totally relate!!

I am 21 years old and I had spontaneous twins, as well. I was so nervous when I found out I had twins. Mostly because everyone in my life thought I was ruining my life by having a child so early. I really started thinking, oh my god, what have I done.
Then when I was 8 months pregnant my SO died, spontaneously. Considering my age, a lot of my friends (most of my friends are about 10 years older though) are out doing things and I feel that if there was one child I would be able to do MORE. And that's true. But two doesn't stop me from doing things. My little man is the diva and my little lady is just a PRINCESS. So my little man gets more attention because he requires more.
The fact that you are mentioning you think one is getting cheated means they're not. You're a great mother for even wondering that and taking their feelings into account when all they really feel is hunger, potty, coldness. lol.

Like someone else said, something definitely changed around 4 months.
But today they both started screaming (princess has a diaper rash very bad) and it was okay. Sh*t happens.

Everything you feel someone else has felt and someone else will feel down the line.

 

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. After reading everyone's posts, I feel such relief. I am actually happier this morning than I have been in a long time. I think just knowing others can relate and that it is "ok" makes me feel much better. TS is such a great forum. I am so glad I found it!!!!

 

So glad you are feeling better today!

Remember we ALL have ups and downs - singletons, twins, triplets...parenting is HARD, relentless work. But wonderful, joyous and amazing all at the same time.

Two of my friends had singletons within 2 weeks of my twins being born (after a hard battle - IVF) and I admit I did have moments of jealousy, but as they grow, I can't imagine life being any different than it is now. One would feel strangely 'empty' (that's not really the right word, but I'm sure you know what i mean!).

My singleton envy was put in to perspective when one of my friends' daughter developed excema (I've never spelt that right) and multiple allergies. They can't leave her to cry for even a moment as she scratches her face to bits (even with mittens) and she is often quite uncomfprtable, itchy etc...when I'm having a hard day (they're both crying for no reason and I just cvan't meet their every need/demand) I stop, take a breath and remind myself that I am so fortunate to have two very healthy babies...

Anyway, I'm rambling now...just glad you're feeling better!

 

I couldn't go anywhere with my girls until they started sitting up on their own. For the first 6 months of their lives (because they were preemies and born during flu and RSV season) they never left the house except to go the the pedi's office. I did get very tired of being stuck in the house, so when spring and summer came, I would take out the stroller and take them anywhere I could just to get out of the house. A lot of the times it was to the mall or to the walking trail at the local park, or just around our neighborhood. Once they started sitting up well I started take them out on little short trips to the grocery. By the time they were a year old, I was taking them as often as I could when I went to the grocery or to just walk around the mall with a stoller. Most of the time I would put them both in the shopping cart basket part and then push that cart while I pulled the other cart around with the groceries in it. They would pretty much entertain themselves with cans or other groceries that I put into their cart. Now, one sits in the seat part and one in the basket. I think you find as they get older you will be able to take them more places.

Another thing I often do to get alone time with one of the girls is to take one to the grocery while the other stays home with Dad. It is nice to spend one-on-one time with my girls and just because they are twins does not mean they need to both go everywhere together.

I think you will find that as they get older you will be able to enjoy them much more and take them out more places together. Hang in there!