Expecting! How to answer questions?

Ditto to this- any way you conceive your babies, it's really an odd question to ask of anybody. Nobody asks most parents of 1 baby how they got them. My response is always a very happy "We had sex".

 

you could say something like "we tried for a while on our own and it didn't work out so we tried a cycle of meds and we were blessed with twins"...it gives the person asking an answer, it also doesn't dredge up a lot of the past of what you went through...we tried for over 2 years to have another after our now 3 year old...we had 3 m/c during that time and then we were given these twins...we didn't do any meds, but i think that is more because we didn't have insurance to cover them, and no one could find anything "wrong" with me, considering i had given birth to 5 other children...my point is, tell them what you are comfortable with telling them..if you don't feel they need to know, simply say "i'd rather not discuss that with you"

e.t.a....twins don't run in either mine or jason's family...no one has ever had them, ever...however the more pregnancies you have the more likely you are to have twins, not sure why this is..this is my 10th pregnancy..i've given birth to 5 kids and had a total of 4 m/c...when i get asked "do they run in the family?" and i say "nope, not ever" i usually get "well how did you get them?" my answer is "it just happens like that sometimes" or "it was a fluke" or something like that...i'm sure they are trying to find out if i used meds, which we didn't, but it really isn't any of their business...

 

This is how I've been handling it:

"Do twins run in your family?" "Nope! This is the first pair on both sides! Everyone is so excited!"

"Are they spontaneous?" "Well, we had a little help along the way" (this is actually true for you - for me, we had more than a little help- many, many, many cycles of invasive infertility treatment)

"Did you get fertility treatments?" "That's a story for a long night and a good bottle of wine"

 

Ha...I like that one. We didn't use IVF, but I don't think it matters either way...NOR is it anyone elses business.

I am amazed at some people's comments though. Since I am gone, my DW gets them all. While I am witty in my own sense, she handles herself just fine...she just lets a lil bit of her "country side" out and that's bout all it takes.

 

We struggled with secondary infertility for 2 years and conceived our babies from IVF/ICSI. I also get the "do twins run in your family" question almost once a day. And have gotten the "Did you use fertility treatments?" question many times and I am only 18 weeks! I imagine the questions only increase after the babies are born! I finally started saying "Yes, they run in the family" just because I am tired of the follow-up questions if you say "no" and I also was getting confused trying to remember the story I give to everyone. It really isn't anyone's business. Our close friends and families know and that is how I want to keep it. I found out recently that my SIL has been telling her neighborhood friends (that we see occasionally) that we did IVF... it really annoyed me. Mostly because of why she did it... she said "well, when they asked how you got twins I had to tell them". Almost like she was saying... "I had to explain to them that they aren't the REAL kind". Makes me so furious. Our chances of even becoming pg with even one baby with IVF were 50% and the odds of twins were even lower so there is more than just medicine involved in the blessing of multiples conceived via fertility treatments.

Ok... feel better... just needed to vent to those of you that I know understand.

 

First off...CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR TWINS! What wonderful news!

In regards to the fertility question, unfortunately because i'm in a same sex marriage, I can't really lie about it. To strangers I can, but I haven't had a lot of people ask. However, after reading these posts, should the time come up, I will know what to say!

I did have one woman at work ask someone else if I did the same thing as my wife (who conceived our last child) and if they will have the same donor. I find that pretty sad, first off, the fact that she can't come to me and ask is sad, and with her being so nosey about if our children will be in any way bioligically related....piss off is what I want to tell her! She was the same woman that said that there is no way that I can be Grifyn's mother becuase I didn't birth him. I'm sorry, what would she say to a family that adopted a child?! Hmmm....

My entire family and friends knew that I couldn't get pregnant on my own and I needed lots of help becuase of my history with cancer as a child, but I'm in a boat where I'm so proud that cancer didn't kill me or my future children and I'm a huge advocate about it all! However, i'm not into small talk, so, if they don't know me and only want to ask so they can go back to whomever and say "IVF and twins....its so risky, why would someone do that to themsleves"....they can just shove right off!

 

I think the initial "do they run in the family" is a given. Every person we have told has said this.. My hubby and I just start launghing, now its a private joke to us. I have not had anyone outright ask me about fertility treatments. That is just plain rude! We have told lots of our friends and family we did IVF. We had a lot of support while going through it so they all knew anyways. It is strange, because lots of people do fertility treatments and end up with one baby, and know one asks them. I like the poster that said we has sex twice that night...I gotta remember that one

 

I've had a lot of my friends/family ask, "Do twins run in your husband's family?" and I usually reply cheerfully, "No, my fertility doctor's!" That usually shames them into realizing it's kind of a personal question. I wasn't super open about doing fertility treatments while we were doing them because I hated the pressure of having to update everyone when another cycle failed. Now that I'm pregnant, I don't mind talking about it if only so that others in my circle might be able to come to me if they have questions or issues.

I figure it's good practice for when the babies are born and I get inundated with a whole new set of twin questions.