DH that travels

My DH has certain times of the year when he travels more (international travel where he is gone for around 10 days each time and its usually over a few weekends). Right now he is in his heavy travel time, and I am exhausted. I do have full-time help in the way of cooking and cleaning and a small amount of childcare, but i have no family here. So there is no one I can leave my kids with for the day that I trust 100%.

DH just got back for 3 days and now is gone again, so I am dreading these next 2 weekends, as I will have the kids on my own - and the weekends do drag on, as everyone here is with their spouses so there is no one to hang out with. Anyway, I feel like i am throwing a pitty party for myself - ugh. HOw do you make it threw the weekends without family around to help? suggestions?

I keep thinking that as the kids get older that I wont mind as much when DH travels - but I still find it nearly as hard as when they were babies - does it ever get easier to be on your own with the kids for long stretches?

 

My husband is in the military and he travels a lot. Our families are 3 hours away, so honestly when he's gone more than 3 or 4 weeks at a time, I do go home on the weekends just to give myself a break. Otherwise, you just grin and bear it I guess! I would try to take them on outings as much as I could, take them to the park or over to a friends house to play. I think it's definitely easier as they get older and more independent.

 

My husband is gone two weeks at a time a little more than every other month as well as several 3-4 day trips each month. I used to have a really hard time when he was gone, but now it is much easier. I think part of it is the age, mine are getting a little more independent every day. But the other thing is letting go of some of my expectations. There are lots of days when he is gone that we have breakfast for dinner or pizza and I spend the whole day just vegging with them on the floor playing games and stuff. I usually don't get as much cleaning done, but I make sure I have one thorough cleaning day before he returns home. I think one of the tricky things of our husbands traveling is that our kids miss them too, so it throws an added kink to the mix. By relaxing some of my expectations and have days where we just hang out together (sometimes even having a cartoon marathon!) then I seem to meet some of those needs and calm their spirits a little. Hope that helps. I know it's hard when our spouses are gone and I hope it gets easier for you soon!

 

I find it does get easier as the kids get older and there are more extracurricular activities. My husband works 24, off 4, two provinces away. Two of his 4 days off are travel days, so he's really only home for 2 days.

Now that the kids are older we have riding lessons, hockey and swim lessons so that takes up 4 days of the week. Daytimes are spent with me running errands - groceries etc - fitting it around the Duo's naptime. I tend to clean after they go to bed unless its cleaning in the main area of the house - ie:Kitchen/living room.

I have a playgroup that I go to once a week, a twin group every 2nd week, and we do a rotating playgroup at friends homes about once a week.

Weekends are busy for us with hockey and swimming, but when those aren't on we do lots of crafts (even the little ones get a crayon to scribble with and they are AWESOME at smearing glue sticks on paper!) We also do our baking on weekends - muffins/cookies for the weeks lunches.

It becomes a way of life and you just do what you can. We try out different parks all the time, we go rock hunting, leaf hunting...all these things the little ones can do too.

 

MY DH works 12 hr nights from Sat - Wed. No fun. There seem to be some community activities that are free on Saturdays especially. Get out and visit different places. My kids always do better if the day is broken up with getting out for a while.

 

My partner travels and while the schedule varies month to month it is typical to have two mid-week days home, gone the rest. I kinda like the *bonus* days home mid week since weekends seem full of soccer games, birthday parties and family events. Plus, if I do need to attend an adult only event sitters are more available on weekends.

I don't like the gone for 3-4 months every other year. That feels like a long time for me and I never plan to get a sitter just so i can get a run in or shower uninterrupted and while I keep myself (and the kids) together during the 3 months it is the 5days she is gone weekly during the next few months that I start to fall apart.

I think you just get used to it because really there is no other choice.