Anyone else HATE their body?

Discussion in 'General' started by efmolly, Apr 5, 2011.

  1. MeredithMM

    MeredithMM Well-Known Member

    I totally hear you on getting the right bra size!! My friend took me for a fitting, and I thought it was just silly. But, some to find out I was totally wearing the wrong size, and my shirts fit so much better now! I'm a convert for bra-fittings. They are totally worth it. As you said, the sisters aren't spilling out anymore. It really helped me improve my confidence in my less-than perky boobs.

    I am not too happy with my body right now, but I've been exercising and watching what I eat for a few months now, and it's made a difference. Not a huge difference, but a difference. And I am learning to find encouragement in each of those little changes.

    And while on the one hand I don't like the gained weight or stretch marks, I do see them as marks of motherhood. And for that reason I'm proud of them. They have their own kind of beauty, and, honestly, I think they come with a certain sexiness. I really do. It's not the same youthful body I had before, but it's sexy because I know what my body is capable of, and I know that it can do amazing things. I'm proud of what it did and what it can do. All those marks and lines mean I've been through a twin pregnancy. It means I gained the weight I needed to feed them while they lived inside of me. I love the way momof5 put it.
    I have a certain love for this new body, and while I know it isn't the body our culture idealizes, I think it's beautiful in it's own right.

    Somedays I hate it. My stomach is kinda big and probably always will be. And oh the stretch marks. And the twin skin. But it really is getting better, and I think part of that is due to my decision to honor my body and respect it.
     
  2. Leighann

    Leighann Well-Known Member

    This thread makes me so sad. For those of you who I've met/seen pictures of who say you hate your body, I'm stunned. You are beautiful, amazing, intelligent, funny women. I'm shocked that you don't see yourselves that way.

    While I wouldn't say I hate my body, I'm definitely not comfortable in my own skin. I've always had issues though so I think its more about my perception and thoughts and not as much the reality. I can be stick thin and find lots of things to dislike and I can be 10lbs over my target weight and feel the same way. I look at pictures of myself and realize that I see a totally different person when I look in the mirror. Its sad. I thought I'd be over this by now (turning 36 this month), but I'm not. I worry that I will pass this on to my girls so I'm VERY conscious of not saying things about my body around them.
     
  3. Utopia122

    Utopia122 Well-Known Member

    Had I not read the other thread before this one I would have said that there was very little I like about myself. I am not overweight, but I don't have a husband that tells me I look nice or pretty..he never has since we have been married. So, It's been roughly 10 years since my husband told me I was pretty. I think he loves me, he just thinks things like that are unnecessary and since he didn't have that when he grew up, he doesn't see the need in wasting words. He as told me many a time that he married me and that ought to be enough, but it isn't. So, I am constantly looking at myself and picking out things that I hate. I have been trying to focus on the things I like about myself without needing his approval, but it is very hard. It's something that I struggle with constantly, but I am trying to focus more on my own approval rather than someone else's.
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. Lynn76

    Lynn76 Well-Known Member

    There are things I do not like about my body and I know those things can be changed. After having my first ds, I was pretty happy with the way I looked. After having the twins tho, they really wrecked my body. Especially my stomach. I don't care about the stretch marks, its the flabby stomach that I hate. I am overweight or I call extra fluffy! It's my fault too that I am this heavy. I am an emotional eater and the past 2 yrs has been very emotional and stressful so I eat. Since being on anti depression meds, I am hoping to see a change, emotionally.

    I am thankful I have a dh that loves me no matter what size I am. He still says I am sexy. He understands that having kids did this to me and he wouldn't change that!!

    Has anyone checked out this cool website called Shape of a Mother There are stories of moms who have had kids and have come to accept their bodies no matter what they look like. There is a category for mothers of twins and triplets.
     
  5. efmolly

    efmolly Well-Known Member

    I hate that website! There are a few women on there that really have been wrecked by pregnancy like me, but I would say the majority look really good still. THIS girl for example... depressing.
     
  6. Lynn76

    Lynn76 Well-Known Member

    Oh, I totally agree with you about that post. For the most part, I have found most of the women look like me.
     
  7. ECUBitzy

    ECUBitzy Well-Known Member

    I like to hope that post is an attention seeking one and not real, because if that's what I'm comparing myself to I give up!

    But I like the site in general, I've been popping on every few months since my girls were born. Insecurity attacks all women, regardless of shape or size, age or ethnicity. It's good to see a forum that celebrates the accomplishments of a mother's body and allows women to support one another in those accomplishments.

    I was incredibly self-conscious growing up. I was bony and awkward (pre-adolescence) followed by muscular with no curves (as a gymnast). When I finally quit gymnastics and developed a shape overnight, I was picked on for stuffing my bra. Add to that the glasses and braces that I had for 5.5 years... As I said in another thread, I didn't really gain real confidence in myself until I was in late college.

    Post children, I am as self-conscious as ever. I feel like my body will never return to "normal" and that I LOOK like a mom and that I'm only attractive to my husband anymore. I want to be beautiful to other people.

    But that's ridiculous and I'm learning to push through it. I'm going to be in shape (the best shape I can) by this summer. I'm going to make a better effort to do my hair and make-up every day. I'm going to wear flattering clothes. If, at the end of the day, I still don't look "normal" and I still look like a mom and I still am only attractive to my husband then so be it. I will be happy with my efforts and will accept myself and love myself. As many of you said, I don't want to harp on my insecurities because I don't want to instill that in my girls. Confidence should come from within!

    So, here's hoping we can all be positive about ourselves and support one another and gain some of the inner confidence.
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. happybearsfan

    happybearsfan Well-Known Member

    I like what my body can do, but knowing that the ugly words "morbidly obese" have to be used to describe me makes it very, very hard to like my body.
     
  9. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    i strongly suspect those are her before pictures.

    and if not, than she is one very lucky woman - and certainly the exception and not the norm. we obviously think she looks amazing - but when she looks in the mirror all she sees are saggy boobs & stretch marks & all that's bad & doesn't measure up (and that's what i think is sad - that anyone who looks like that would think it's not "good enough". what kind of culture puts that sort of pressure on anybody?). which makes me think that when that negative voice in my head starts repeating mean things when i'm looking in the mirror it must be lying, since my friends, family & DH have all told me i look great. the bottom line is that they're going to have a much more objective opinion than i'll ever have, so i choose to believe them & not that awful voice in my head.
     
  10. Melis

    Melis Well-Known Member

    I hate/loathe my body. I used to be in really good shape until 6 months ago. I actually used to run marathons. I had two surgeries, my brother committed suicide, my grandmother died and my dad died all in a matter of 3 months. I have put on weight, I am sooo unhappy right now.
     
  11. ECUBitzy

    ECUBitzy Well-Known Member

    My god, that is a lot of tragedy for one person. I really hope you're doing okay and taking care of yourself. I'm so sorry.
     
  12. TwinsItIs

    TwinsItIs Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you've been dealing with so much. :hug:
     
  13. BellaRissa

    BellaRissa Well-Known Member

    I am pretty happy with my body...it's not perfect....but it is pretty darn good. But my sister has spent the better part of her adult life feeling sad, mad, bitter & angry over her body. She is NOT fat...but she is thick - no waist at all & a consistent small amount of belly pudge. However....she is beautiful & has sacrificed a good portion of her happiness over 10lbs that she has struggled, unsuccessfully to lose for 30 years. I HATE that she has never felt pretty - she is absolutely beautiful....the most gorgeous sea green eyes, beautiful legs, gorgeous skin......none of which she can see because she is obsessed with that 10 pounds.
     
  14. momotwinsmom

    momotwinsmom Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry you have been through so much. Do not worry about the weight you have put on. Just take care of yourself and in time, when you are ready to, the weight will come back off. You just need to get to a place, mentally, that you can begin to heal from all of this and your body will follow suit. :grouphug:
     
  15. Cristina

    Cristina Well-Known Member

    I didn't know you've been going through so much! Huge hugs!!! You are such a beautiful woman! Just hang in there!
     
  16. Poohbear05

    Poohbear05 Well-Known Member

    I find it interesting how loosely these terms are thrown around, by the public and Medical professionals alike. At 5'0" and 140lbs, I am considered obese by any chart that takes into consideration height to weight ratio, BMI, etc. However, I'm in the military and oddly enough, have absolutely NO problem passing my bi-annual PT test with flying colors (passing is a 75, I generally get in the mid to upper 80's depending if testing time is close to a major holiday) my Dr. always tells me how low my cholestrol, blood pressure, heart rate (which is supposed to be a measure of physical fitness as well) and all that jazz is.

    So how is it that someone can be 'fat and fit'? LoL I don't put the two together at all. I used to love my body and all it's curves - now I can honestly say that I hate my kangaroo pouch and have seriously contemplated a tummy tuck, but for the most part I have decided to not pay attention to all the mainstream media (including Medical professionals) that say I'm fat and just like myself for what God gave me.
     
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