Anyone else get nervous when your kids are leaving for a week without you?

Discussion in 'General' started by jjzollman, Jul 7, 2015.

  1. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    Our boys are going to my parents for a week at the end of July and as it approaches, I start worrying about all of the things that could accidents, peanut allergy reaction, illness, etc. They are only 3 hours away and we're dropping them off and picking them up. I know it's just me being a worrier because I do this every year prior to their week long visit. My parents are excellent caregivers and vigilant with car seats, the peanut allergy, etc. so I know I'm being irrational but I still worry.

    Does anyone else do this? Any tips for knocking it off?
  2. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I do a little bit.  My kids are visiting my Mom for a week in two weeks.  She's an hour away though.
    Here is something my Mom told me, "When you are a parent you worry all the time.  And it doesn't stop, not as your children get older and even when they are adults.  I'll probably worry after I am dead."
    Maybe not the hopeful thing but I think it's perfectly normal to worry, especially when the children aren't with us and we really, at that point, have no clue what's going on and have no affect on whatever situation they are in.  Like you, I know my Mom will take good care of the kids and I know they will have a good time, so I focus on that.  As I am sure your kids love their time with their grandparents, as mine will with my I try to focus how much my Mom and my kids are going to enjoy their time together.
    My mom is their only living grandparent, so I do try to shut the anxiety up with they need this time with her and she needs this time with them because I have no idea how much time we will be fortunate enough to have my Mom around.
    :hug:  I do feel you because as much I as pretend I don't feel anxious when they are away, I am anxious.
  3. Leighann

    Leighann Well-Known Member

    I worry so much my girls have only spent 2 overnights away from us (and those weren't consecutive). I wish I had some advice, but I don't :( 
  4. Katheros

    Katheros Well-Known Member

    My twins have had to spend time with their alcoholic/drug addict father since they were babies, so yes - I ALWAYS worry about them.   For the last few years, they've gone for two weeks in the summer and a week at Christmas.  I have a love/hate relationship - I hate the worry about them being gone, being taken care of properly, etc.  But I do kinda love not having them around for a little while. 
    For this summer visit, they spent two weeks with their dad, then a week with my parents and now they are with my in-laws. Definitely a bit of a relief once they are out of their father's hands, but I still worry.  I worry about them flying, driving, my father-in-law teaching them how to play with knives...
  5. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Yeah-I worry, too. I think that's pretty normal.
  6. megkc03

    megkc03 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I totally would! It's why they haven't gone anywhere without me far away! My mother in law has mentioned Italy a few times and I've said absolutely not. They have also mentioned Florida and I've shot that down too, but my saving grace is its during the school year!
  7. rissakaye

    rissakaye Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I do.  I try to balance that with remembering how much fun I had with my grandparents and aunts and uncles visiting around without my parents as a child.  I know they are having that much fun without me around so I try to relax and have fun.
  8. sulik110202

    sulik110202 Well-Known Member

    My kids spend two weeks with my mom every summer.  She lives 6 hours away and she drives them one way and we drive them the other.  I always worry about the drive, but once they are there I try and tell myself that they are with Grandma and having a great time.  It doesn't go away completely, but I try.
  9. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    Glad to know I'm not alone! I know it's such an important trip for my boys and my parents and it means so much to all of them, I'll just keep stuffing the worry down! lol
  10. BellaRissa

    BellaRissa Well-Known Member

    My sweet girls are 11 now. Due to divorce I had to cope with them being out of my care for overnights/vacations since they were 4. I hated it then - I hate it now. But the one thing that has made it more tolerable for me is that now I send them with Kindles & they can text me. I know that I have no control over the events of their day & their safety  while they are 3000 miles away - but the texts reassure me that they are OK. 
    Also, I do my best to prepare the girls by role-playing & discussing how to stay safe in situations they could find themselves in that would not be of my choosing. When they are placed in the front seat of a vehicle or encouraged to ride in a van without seat belts - they have already been taught how to politely assert themselves and appeal to be allowed to buckle up in the back seat. (I can't believe this is an issue while they are in the care of 2 pediatricians but it is.) When they were told they could walk to the pool 2 blocks away with 11 & 14 step siblings & swim without an adult or a lifeguard they had already thought through that scenario & were prepared to decline.
    Mostly, I pray...... a lot.
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