Anxiety about carrying twins - I have had a lot of freak out moments

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Help' started by Winterberry, Sep 1, 2014.

  1. Winterberry

    Winterberry New Member

    Ever since finding out that I am carrying twins, I have had a lot of freak out moments--which I know is to be expected. But until I see my OB in two days, I cannot seem to sleep! Each day, I go through a range of emotions from excitement to disappointment to resentfulness to feeling happy. Couple with the fear of having preterm labor, I cannot sleep! Sometimes, I just break down and cry and in my most terrified moment, I think about life with just my son and maybe it isn't the end of the world if we terminate this pregnancy. I get extremely sad thinking about that, but it is a "safe" and secure option for a planner and realist like myself. I am so sorry if that honestly offends anyone on this board as I understand you all think having twins is a complete blessing. I do to, but I don't know if it's a blessing for ME. I am terrified. 
    Please share with me your height, weight, and when you delivered? I am 5'2" and 106lbs before I got pregnant. I've lost 4 lbs and am going into my 10th week.
    I try to eat very healthy these last few days, but I feel nauseated and food makes me feel sick. I am drinking plenty of water and keep a bottle of water with me at all time. Until I see my OB, I think I might lose my mind trying to find answers and stories of people who could relate online. Please help!
  2. rrodman

    rrodman Well-Known Member

    First, please feel free to speak your mind on this board. I'm sure we all think our twins were a blessing, but we also understand the realities and downsides better than anyone.

    That said, you are really focused on downsides that are unlikely. Of the hundreds of women here who have had twins, I can think of only one bad outcomes after the first trimester. The odds are very strongly in favor of everything being fine. I don't think you really want to make a decision based on a remote worst case scenario.

    Also, your size isn't as big of a factor as you think. Lots of tiny girls have healthy pregnancies. And sometimes taller women have preterm labor.

    Finally, your son really will be fine. Think of all the people you know with siblings. They were once toddlers or preschoolers whose mom brought home a new baby. I had a coworker who had two sets of twin siblings younger than him. He was the nicest, most well adjusted man you could meet.

    I'd really encourage you to talk to your doctor. Some of what you are describing seems like it could be depression. Either way, please feel free to keep talking to us. I do know women who have chosen to reduce a triplet or twin pregnancy. It's a decision you have the right to make. Just make sure you make it with a clear head.
    3 people like this.
  3. rayceryin12

    rayceryin12 Well-Known Member

    Agree with above. I'm 5'3'' and went to 38 weeks 3 days with no major issues. Focus on the positive - extra snuggles, extra love. That being said, it's ok to have freak out moments too.
  4. megkc03

    megkc03 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    First, what the other wonderful ladies said, I agree. Now, I did have my twins first, and my daughter came 19 months later(we did IVF for all three). When I got pregnant with her(sooner than we originally planned), I had the range of emotions you are having(aside from the twin aspect). I felt so bad for them. Was I doing the right thing? They were so little, I was going to turn their world upside down. All.normal.emotions. And those first few weeks were probably not a walk in the park. But, I took it one day at a time(I'm a SAHM), and we all survived. Sure many tears were shed lol. Now, I blinked and they are in K and first grade. For me, the good far outweighs the bad. And now, aside from typical sibling behavior, they are the best of friends, and a lot of times people think they are triplets!

    As for my pregnancy, because of dealing with infertility, I thought I would get every then with twins-blood pressure issues, nausea, etc etc. I was lucky and had no major issues. I had a scheduled c/s at 38 weeks, with one spending a week in the NICU.

    I am 5'5", and when I got pregnant I was overweight, 190 lbs plus. When I gave birth I was 234.5 lbs.

    Feel free to post. What you are feeling is normal. But those extra cuddles, those extra smiles and giggles...some positives to look forward to as well. Do you have any family near by?
  5. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I never slept well when I found out I was pregnant. My mind would race for weeks with logistics and fear. Eventually I'd come around, but it was a process. It's weird to think that I wouldn't want them around now as each kid is so different and adds a dimension to our family, but I didn't really think about it that way back then.
  6. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I think what you are feeling is normal but I do agree with Rachael in that you should talk to your doctor about the anxiety and feelings you are having.  I wish I had.  I think the first few months of my pregnancy would have been a lot better if I did.
    I was terrified to have twins.  I remember running through all the feelings you are having and cycling through them quickly.  I went through brief thoughts of terminating, signing custody of one over to my Mom, to I can do this.  
    I don't remember my weight before I got pregnant and before I delivered but I am 5'4" and I delivered at 38 weeks.  Both babies were healthy and fine and I had no major problems during the pregnancy.  To touch on how you are feeling right now, I too was nauseous every day and barely food was appealing.  I think I lost 10 lbs the first 3 months I believe.  My OB had said that if I did not start putting on weight, they were going to have to intervene.  As a matter of fact, my co-worker at work e-mailed my Mom because she was worried that I wasn't eating.  Once I hit the second trimester, that nauseous feeling went away most of the time and food started to be appealing.  I did drink Ensure to help!
    I also agree with Rachael, to think about other children with siblings and your son will be fine.  It will be an adjustment for everyone, but he truly will be fine.  You are in the right place to talk about how you feel, we've all been there and done it :hug:
  7. jennycraig

    jennycraig Active Member

    When we found out we were expecting twins we already had 4 and 2 year old daughters.  I went through many emotions also.  One of them was anger and I think depression.  I didn't know how I would handle 4 under 4.  I stay at home during the week and work every weekend to be able to not have daycare.  I am 5 ft. tall and was about 115 lb before getting pregnant. I was very sick for about 16 weeks and also lost weight.  I tried to drink the breakfast drinks and eat whenever I could small amounts.  It did eventually get better.  I was also worried about carrying twins and preterm labor.  My girls were born healthy at 35 weeks and spent 2 weeks in the NICU to learn to eat better. 
      I look back now that the twins are 18 months and couldn't imagine any different. 
  8. PJ

    PJ Well-Known Member

    Don't worry about your size at all.  I am sorry you are feeling so much anxiety.
    I am 5ft 4in and weighed about 110 lbs - I gained around 40 lbs and delivered at 38 wks on the dot - one day before my scheduled c-section because my water broke. I was absolutely terrified of pre term labour as my good friend delivered her single baby very very early and I saw what a struggle it was for her.  I never in a million years imagined I would deliver at 38 wks.  Your body will adjust to carrying two babies and I am sure you doc will keep a close eye on you.
  9. sulik110202

    sulik110202 Well-Known Member

    One thing I have learned on this board, is that every twin pregnancy is different.  No matter your body type, past pregnancy experience, etc.  Just take each day one at a time.  You will always hear bad stories and those are what you tend to remember.  You don't always hear about the good stories and the mom's who went 38 weeks with twins.  I carried my twins to 38 weeks and had no issues during pregnancy.  Your doctor will monitor you closely (lots of appointments) but that is good and hopefully that will help ease some of your anxiety.
  10. momofangels

    momofangels Well-Known Member

    First off, I didn't think they were a complete blessing at first.  I love them now. Take lots of pictures, and go back to look at them and remember them when they're small and cute, becasue you MIGHT be too harried to appreciate them at the time.  I'm so  glad that my MIL demanded we get a digital camera and a video.  I thought it was just her being annoying at the time, but those are great pictures to have now.
    Another unexpected benefit of having small twins and another toddler -- you can use the "I'm SOOOOO busy!" excuse to get out of a lot of things you just don't WANT to do. And you can use that as an excuse to be direct, and to speak your mind (I have problems with telling people nicely that they're monopolizing my time.)
    Don't be so hard on yourself.  This is BIG adjustment, even though I had family near, I cried for quite a while.  It MIGHT be that sheer stress and worry (while certainly a factor) isn't the only thing keeping you up.  Their are tons of hormones doing their thing inside you! I didn't sleep well at all, all through my pregnancy.  My mind would just race.  I had to play little mental games to calm myself down and sleep.  I never did learn hw to meditate, although that wouldd have been helpful, I think. Plus I felt like I was hungry all the time, and I worried about each and every little bite (is it healthy? Am I putting on too much weight? what does it say in my "what to Expect..." book about hunger?)my OB NEVER put any stress on me -- I did it all myself.   I'm a worrier.  Glass half full, glass half empty, I'm going to wonder if it spilled and whose going to have to clean it up! Talk to your doctor -- she/he will help.  LOTS.  And they'll refer you, if you want more.  Speak up!
    I'm 5'2", rather overweight. Going into the twin pregnancy, I was still carrying about 10 extra pounds from my first pregnancy, 17 months before. I weighed about 170 lbs then. I gained about 70#, and I carried them to 37 weeks. My kids were 8.5 and 7.5 # (rather large, I know.)
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