Your opinions on twin nurses please!

Two questions for those of you who have or had a twin nurse:

1. When and for how long does the nurse have 'time off' each day - for eating, washing, napping, etc.

2. How much do you pitch in and take care of your twins? Do you help during their witching hours? Do you leave the nurse home alone with the twins for any extended period of time? (for ex. if you go to work, go to the mall a whole afternoon, etc.)

Here's my background info:
I have 8 week old twins who are not colic, but very gassy and uncomfortable. I guess you can call them high-maintenance since they need to burp a long time and they need to be held and comforted a lot too.

Soon after they were born I came down with PPD and we hired a twin nurse for $250 for a 24 hour day (6 days a week). So far we're up to nurse number 4. Two of them couldn't handle them for 24 hours and the lack of sleep. One was excellent and came for two weeks, but then had to leave for a previous commitment who gave birth early. Now we're onto nurse #4 and having similar problems as the first two. (Understand where the PPD comes into play? If the nurses can't even do it... and all the stress from switching from nurse to nurse - and they're only 8 weeks!)

I think it boils down to skill. Some twin nurses can do two babies simultaneously, while other twin nurses do the twins consecutively. Consecutive care takes up much more time, leaving practically no sleep time (the method of #1, 2, and 4).

The excellent nurse (#3) did them concurrently and had more time to herself since they were more or less on the same schedule. She was also very in-tune to their needs and knew what they wanted and how to comfort them easily.

In general we give the nurse a 1 1/2 hours break in the morning to shower (8:15 - 9:45AM), eat breakfast and do whatever... In the evening, for supper she has another hour break (5-6 PM). In the late morning/afternoon the twins are usually both sleeping at the same time (because they were up most of the night!) and the nurse naps on the couch and then eats lunch.

As for feedings, the morning break is during one feeding and we do those. For the late afternoon feeding and for the bedtime feeding someone feeds one of the twins and the nurse does the other one.

The problem is that they're both very fussy and cranky from 6 - 11 and this is rush hour time. Kids are home from school, husband is coming home from work, and then it's supper, bath, bedtime and we don't feel that we should have to pitch in so much during those hours. After all, that's why we pay a twin nurse so much! She's supposed to be skilled to handle it on her own, no?

How did your nurse handle your twins? Consecutively or concurrently?
Are we expecting too much? Please share your experiences.

Thanks!

 

I can't speak to 24 hour care, maybe a better option would be to have someone come for a 12 hour shift - maybe 6pm to 6am?

We only have budget for help about 12-15 hours week. She usually comes 3 days a week for 5 hours (15/hour - we live in LA). She is pretty much 'on her own' unless it's a real meltdown (my hubby and I are usually home). If we need to, we would feel comfortable leaving her with the kids, but I usually use the time to nap, pump and catch up on phone calls.

Beyond takign care of the kids, she does any dishes related to the babies, straightens up our living room area (where the twins hang out) and will do laundry for the kids. All in all, it's a pretty easy gig for her...

Miriam

 

We had a nurse for the first 10 days so i could recover from my c-section. We paid the same $250 per 24-hours like you did.
Basically she did everything. I pitched in and helped during the day because I wanted to learn to care for them and she was happy to show me, but she also made me take it easy and rest if she felt I was doing too much. She was excellent and had no trouble caring for both babies at the same time. She took care of them at night exclusively since I was all loaded up on pain meds and in her words "You need to heal so you can care for them when I leave"
She slept when they slept and we always took the babies from her so she could eat her meals, have some time to herself etc. She said she's supposed to get 2 hours to herself to eat, read, whatever. She rarely took it all even though I encouraged her to do so. I don't think I would have survived those first days without her, she taught Dh and I so much and as very skillful at handling 2 babies at once. She usually fed them separately (as we do) but did occasionally handle them together.
We only had to leave her home alone once with DD when we took DS to the ER. We felt comfortable leaving her there, although she didn't drive and had no car so I don't know where she was going to go, lol! I was still recovering from my section so i wasn't going anywhere.
I think if you're going to pay a nurse to care for multiples you shouldn't HAVE to help if you're not able to. If they're going to tout themselves as a 'multiples' nurse then they should have enough experience to handle them on their own.

 

Miriam, thanks for the suggestion, I think I do need to switch to a 12 hour nurse (and also a separate night nurse!) This way she won't be burnt out.

Trillian, thanks for confirming that we're giving her enough time off.
I feel the same way, if we're paying her more because she's a 'twin' nurse then she should be able to do it!

BTW, how in the world did you both manage on your own?
Are your babies easier? Or are you just super-mom and/or married to super-dad?

Any more input from anyone?

 

We've only had night help for 3 days a week for 7 weeks, but seperating day and night sounds like a good thing. I can't imagine somebody taking care of the twins for 24 hours non stop, especially after a bad night sleep. Therefore we had night help so that I could do the days by myself.

Now I have 2 x 4 hours for the twins (take my oldest out)
My oldest is in school for 2 full days
I have evening help 3 nights a week between 5 and 7 to get my oldest to bed, she's a student.

The twins are in bed at 6-6.30 pm, so that makes a big difference too. I love early bed times!

 

I agree about the nurses getting burnt out. I never had a nurse (I was the nurse!) but I remember being pretty burnt out from lack of sleep because I was the 24 hour person. I think 12 hours would give them the chance to go home and sleep, much like it was just a shift at the hospital or something like that!

I can't believe they only make $250 for a 24 hour shift! That would definitely not be enough for me to decide to take the career on!

 

quote:
BTW, how in the world did you both manage on your own?
Are your babies easier? Or are you just super-mom and/or married to super-dad?


No way am I super mom!! My babies cry alot when I'm dealing with the other one. It's definitely not easy and you can't compare yourself to your singleton mom friends. If we're not going out anywhere my babies stay in their sleepers all day. My DH also helps out a lot when he's home. I take it one day at a time and just do my best. I think with multiples you just have to do your best and be ok with it. It gets easier as they get older too.

quote:
I agree about the nurses getting burnt out...I can't believe they only make $250 for a 24 hour shift



I definitely agree with this. We only had our nurse for 10 days. If they're permanent then I'd do 12 hour shifts. $250 seems like alot until you break it down and realize that it's only $10.41 per hour. Not a whole lot for the amount of work they do.

 

We paid $25 an hour ($200) for a night sleep (8 hours), so $250 sounds like a steal me. We're in the big city though, but for $10 an hour I can't even get help for a singleton during the day ... let alone twins day and night.

 

First off, let me tell you that you are very normal because having two babies at one time is alot to handle. We are first time parents and I did not have PPD, but I did have to have help. For the first few months we had one nanny from 7-7 and then another would come in and stay until 7. I found that with two people they were always fresh and it also gave us a different person as well. Our babies are now 16 months and we have the same day nanny and our night nanny is the one that now comes and works on the weekends. I work full time as a teacher and my husband is a Funeral Director at my parent's Funeral Home so our life is very busy. I am very proud to say that as they get older they do get easier. Our babies have very bad reflux and had to be fed at seperate times and then place upright for at least 20 minutes. My life and the Nanny's life depended on a very tight feeding schedule. We still follow a schedule, but I don't panic now if I get off some. My biggest problem I have now is I do not know how to do bath time by myself. I am working on it still and I am determined to figure it out. Also, I am now very comfortable handling them on my own when we do not have help. The one good thing about having help is I can keep food cooked for them and keep my house clean (I am a neat freak). Hope some of this info helps. If you have any questions feel free to pm me.

Ellen

 

I never had help and Im certainly not supermom. YOu do get burnt out and very tired but you adjust. Its been 10 months now with babies waking up every night but I deal. We do everything together, feeding, playing, napping,etc. I also have a 3 yo so I could not sleep when they sleep, but like i said you adjust to lack of sleep

One thing that I wanted to mention, your babies are probably so crabby from 6-11 because they are overtired. My advice would be to start working on a 6 or 7 pm bedtime, they will be alot happier in the end. Just work on starting bed 15 minutes earlier every few days. It may take a few weeks but everyone will be much happier

 

Like other posters, I'm not supermom - in fact I have had more help than a lot of women on this forum. My husband works from home and we have had family come for a few days here and there - as well as friends.

I have my first real day alone with them next Sunday - we'll see how it goes!

 

quote:
Originally posted by Cassie05:
One thing that I wanted to mention, your babies are probably so crabby from 6-11 because they are overtired. My advice would be to start working on a 6 or 7 pm bedtime, they will be alot happier in the end.


Their bedtime routine starts around 7pm. (bath, PJ, bottle, burp, etc.) They're usually in their cribs by 8pm. (dark room, no stimulation, pacifiers, swaddled, etc.)

I can try to push it up to 6pm bedtime routine leading to 7pm in bed...

The main reason they're crabby is because they have TONS of gas pain. As soon as their gas passes they are happy, until the next one comes along very soon.

I'm finding that "Little Tummies" is helping it pass faster, but they're still so, so uncomfortable. They're on Enfamil Gentlease. My doctor doesn't want me to switch since they're gaining nicely and they don't have colic (we know it's from the gas) and he says that it just takes time until their digestive system develops.

Any advice is welcome on this issue!

 

quote:
Originally posted by JDMummy:
I can't believe they only make $250 for a 24 hour shift! That would definitely not be enough for me to decide to take the career on!


I agree that it's not a lot per diem, but it's over $75,000 cash a year. That's a lot for me to pay!! (and she does no housework and gets meals and room/board)

Writing this reminds me of an article I read that lists the chores a stay at home mother does and calculates the compensation that she should receive!

 

I didn't use a nurse, but I have a friend with triplets that did.
She has a college student that comes 20-40 hours a week, depending on her schedule & then, when the babies were smaller, she had a night nurse 5 nights a week. I think one of them always helped with the night feedings.... only because of sheer numbers. Her husband is an OB so they took turns depending on his call schedule. I don't think she left one person alone with all 3 until they were a little bigger, but I don't see why, with 2 you shouldn't be able to get a little alone time.
I take mine 1 day a week to a sitter to get life in order.... sometimes that's lunch with girlfriends, or errands, or a NAP!!

 

I don't know how normal it is to have babies be THAT gassy...some gas, yes, but pain and hours of crying doesn't sound right to me. Have you thought about trying either a hydrolyzed formula (alimentum or nutramigen) or a lactose free formula and see if either the milk protein or the milk sugars are causing them this problem? My first son was SO fussy ALL THE TIME. I thought it was colic, but it was ALL DAY LONG. He pooted all the time and cried when he pooted. Finally my sister talked to a long time nursery nurse and we found out it was the cow's milk protein seeping into my breast milk (I drink/eat a TON of dairy normally). I cut out dairy and all was well...he became a happier child within a couple of days. There is also a product called gripe water by little tummies (or other brands) that is supposed to help babies with stomach trouble. I never noticed much of a difference, but lots of people swear by it. White noise in the bedroom may help your twins calm down if they are overstimulated. At the very least it drowns out their twin so they don't key each other up so much. It really helps me not to hear every little grunt and it keeps one baby from waking the other up every time they have a bowel movement or fuss a little.