"You have your hands full...literally" haha!

Okay, I realize twins are a novelty, though there are more and more these days...and I'm PROUD to have twins, but c'mon people, what is up with the comments people make throughout the day?! Seriously do they not realize we (as moms/parents) hear the same things over and over and over. I realize it comes from a genuinely curious place and usually I'm okay in dealing with it but today it just IRKED me! "How do you manage two babies?!!!" Uhh, because I HAVE to, because who else will take care of them?! I guess my question is....will these kinds of questions ever go away (I'm guessing no!) and any tips on how to keep your sense of humor so you don't get as irritated as I am today? Thanks for listening to me vent

 

The two comments I get the most are "Double Trouble" and "You have your hands full"...I don't let it get to me. I really think people just try to make conversation so they can stare at the babies. Which is fine with me. I don't know that it ever ends...my twin brothers are 21 and they still get goofy twin comments all the time!

 

lol, I hear ya. Everywhere we go we are the center of attention. And like pp mentioned "double trouble" and "wow you have your hands full" are BY FAR the most common. If we go out, atleast 5 people make these comments. I just smile and say "yuup",lol.

 

It will gradually get better as they get older...there are times I go shopping and still hear all the same things, but most times, people aren't quite sure if they are twins or not...mainly because one sits in the front of the cart and the other is either walking holding Dad's hand or taking a ride in the back of the cart, so not seeing them side by side reduces the comments. And also, as they get older, people focus less and less on "how do you do it" and more on "awww they are so cute." I guess its because when they get to an age they can actually have a conversation with passersby, people look at them more like fun and less like a challenge, kwim? At least all of the above has been MY experience...

It really doesn't bother me anymore...comments like "Double Trouble" and the "hands full" ones...what DOES really quite frankly PISS ME OFF is that I've had people a couple of times say "I'd shoot myself if I had twins." That just...ooooh...I get upset thinking about it.

 

QUOTE(MSB1203 @ Jan 20 2009, 08:39 PM) [snapback]1155440[/snapback]
It really doesn't bother me anymore...comments like "Double Trouble" and the "hands full" ones...what DOES really quite frankly PISS ME OFF is that I've had people a couple of times say "I'd shoot myself if I had twins." That just...ooooh...I get upset thinking about it.



I had one lady tell me, "Oh, I don't envy you...". That really pissed me off! I have wonderful babies (even if they are a lot of work, poop a lot, are teething, spit up on everything....) and I wouldn' trade them for anything. Anyway, I also get the 'got your hands full' comment all the time. It really does get old, but I just smile and move on. I'm usually in a hurry anyway.

 

I highly recommend having a stand up comedian go everywhere with you, like I get to do. He can come back to any comment.

We're only a month into this crazy wonderful journey, but boy oh boy, do I understand. Maybe it's a cultural difference, but I do have to admit I get more sweet comments than rude ones. (The sweetest thing about little old British folks is that they call all babies "Petal" or "Flower" and they always take out a silver coin and ask to touch it to your babies palm so they "always have plenty and abundance"! So cute!)

But when I do get a rude one it's a real humdinger-I completely had to tell a lady off in the store last week! Old hag...). My MIL has a badge/pin machine at work and made me a great big one to go on my stroller bag that says "No. They're not too much work." with a big smiley face on it...lol. It makes me laugh everytime someone says something, and I just point to the pin. (She also made them bucket hats and blankets on her embroidery machine -
The hats have their name ,weight, date they were born
And the blankets say:
"We think we're ID but we're not sure yet"
"Yes, my Mommy and Daddy are coping fine"
And I have a bucket hat that she made me that says "I trained Supernanny"

LOL! They're invaluable in the mall!
These are the ways I keep my sense of humor!
When people ask how I cope I almost always just say "I rock. That's how." and smile sweetly.

 

lol! very funny pp! we are pretty much the same, although we talked about getting cards made for those inevitable questions but never did. would love a badge! i always respond to negative comments with positive ones (even if at the time i dont believe it!) double trouble - double the fun, rather you than me - yes, id rather me than you! they sleep all night, play with each other, its soooo easy, im bored! (not exactly true!!!)
the thing that really annoys me is when people want to touch them. i tell them that they are contagious which usually makes them move away quickly.

 

I must admit the "double trouble" comment grates on my nerves. I don't like what it insinuates. And funny how the ones that say it think they are so clever and original. :huh:

As far as "the hands full" remark, I've been hearing that one for awhile. I just smile sweetly and say, "Better full than empty." :wub:

 

QUOTE(Natalochka @ Jan 21 2009, 12:15 AM) [snapback]1155475[/snapback]
I had one lady tell me, "Oh, I don't envy you...". That really pissed me off! I have wonderful babies (even if they are a lot of work, poop a lot, are teething, spit up on everything....) and I wouldn' trade them for anything. Anyway, I also get the 'got your hands full' comment all the time. It really does get old, but I just smile and move on. I'm usually in a hurry anyway.


You know, someone else said that to me to and I was like what the &$*! I love my twins and yes like you said they are a lot of work but I wouldn't trade them for anything either. Some people say to me, "I don't know how you do it" or "I woudln't want to be you". I feel like saying well I wouldn't want to be you with that attitude or the way you look! I think its something most people will never experience and they are curious. However, people can be sooooo rude. For instance, when I first found out I was having twins, a person at work said, "Man you are going to be a real fat A!" I felt like saying, not nearly as fat as you!

 

QUOTE(larasboys @ Jan 21 2009, 08:57 AM) [snapback]1155503[/snapback]
lol! very funny pp! we are pretty much the same, although we talked about getting cards made for those inevitable questions but never did. would love a badge! i always respond to negative comments with positive ones (even if at the time i dont believe it!) double trouble - double the fun, rather you than me - yes, id rather me than you! they sleep all night, play with each other, its soooo easy, im bored! (not exactly true!!!)
the thing that really annoys me is when people want to touch them. i tell them that they are contagious which usually makes them move away quickly.



Oooooo, I love Devon. Gorgeous part of the country! At least I'm closer to Northumberland than I actually am to Newcastle! (Love the city, hate the drunken football freaks! )

 

I try not to let the comments get to me. I get "double trouble" a lot but just as much as I get that, I also get, "You are doubly blessed." When I do get the double trouble comments, I just add, "they are so worth it." I think a majority of people mean well and think they are either being witty or just cannot fathom two babies at once. But those comments can get tiring after a while.

 

You will get used to them. We still get them. I agree with Kyrstyn, its a conversation starter.

 

When I hear......


Double Trouble....I say.....TWICE as NICE and wink!

When I hear.....You have your Hands Full....I say.....NOT NEARLY AS FULL AS MY HEART!!!

I do mean it too....these guys have been the biggest blessing of our lives.


Oh and the couple of times that I have heard the .....If I had twins, I'd shoot myself....I say.....PLEASE DO!.......or DON'T LET US STOP YOU!!!! (they are very taken aback by that!) LOL

:lol:

 

QUOTE(Kyrstyn @ Jan 20 2009, 10:55 PM) [snapback]1155418[/snapback]
The two comments I get the most are "Double Trouble" and "You have your hands full"...I don't let it get to me. I really think people just try to make conversation so they can stare at the babies. Which is fine with me.


I also agree that when these comments are made to me, they are with good intentions. However, I did have a few rude remarks when the twins were under 5 months and still in the SNG. I guess two infant carriers look scary to some people. I usually ignored them or smiled. I just figured (in my case) I can't expect them to understand how much DH and I went through to have them and that they are a sweet double blessing to us.

 

I didn't like the people that tried to be mean with your hands are full comments. If I replied back to better then empty they woudl get so mad at me like it didn't phase me what they said. Or they would say oh wait till their at home sick, I have sick ones at home right now.......
I think the older ladies say it like in a caring way, I think the younger ladies say it to be mean and tick you off and I really don't like that.
The double trouble thing really irritated me.
I know after having this babe I will be getting the hands are full comments (I was even when I only had the two boys with me)again and really at first it didn't bother me but then they kept at it and would start to get mean about it and that's when it started to get to me.

 

QUOTE(MissyEby @ Jan 21 2009, 08:45 AM) [snapback]1155644[/snapback]
When I hear......
Double Trouble....I say.....TWICE as NICE and wink!

When I hear.....You have your Hands Full....I say.....NOT NEARLY AS FULL AS MY HEART!!!

I do mean it too....these guys have been the biggest blessing of our lives.
Oh and the couple of times that I have heard the .....If I had twins, I'd shoot myself....I say.....PLEASE DO!.......or DON'T LET US STOP YOU!!!! (they are very taken aback by that!) LOL

:lol:



There are TERRIFIC! I'm going to borrow them! Thank you for sharing!!!

 

Thanks to all for sharing. I'm not having the best day and this thread has completely cheered me up!! Packing for a weekend move in the middle of winter with 3 month old twins can do that to you

Especially, the "Don't let us stop you" and "Please do" remarks which DH and I will keep handy if needed.

 

I love the don't let us stop you comeback. That is too hilarious.

 

QUOTE(Lisa&Lonnie @ Jan 21 2009, 11:24 AM) [snapback]1155907[/snapback]
Thanks to all for sharing. I'm not having the best day and this thread has completely cheered me up!! Packing for a weekend move in the middle of winter with 3 month old twins can do that to you

Especially, the "Don't let us stop you" and "Please do" remarks which DH and I will keep handy if needed.


Man I totally feel for you! I moved half way across the country, a 5 day drive, with 2 1/2 month old twins, and we had packers and movers, thank goodness. I don't know how else I could have done it! Props to you...

 

I wonder about that myself. I seem to attract all the people at the mall who need to pull out their cell phones to show me pictures of grandkids, as well as those who have an uncle's cousin's milkman's brother that has twins. I think people are just curious and are trying to be nice/identify with you.

 

it's a little different for me. i tend to get a lot of, "wow, so are you breastfeeding?" inquiries from complete strangers. excuse me, but how is that your business? would you ask the mother of a singleton if she's breastfeeding totally out of the blue? i'm not one of those proud public breastfeeding mamas, so having a complete stranger ask about my tah-tahs is embarassing!

the other thing that bugs me is that i get a lot of people who want me to regale them with gushing emotional displays of the gratitude and joy i get from having a "double blessing." like my neighbor the other day who so obviously wanted me to tell her how sweetly special my days are with my matching set of adorable little twinsies. when i instead replied, "oh they've been so crabby all weekend," her face crumpled and she corrected me and said, "but i'm sure they're just wonderful most of the time." why yes, i happen to think my children are wonderful, but it's not my job to help you imagine the happy fluffy sweet fun life of two adorable matching babies.

so i guess for me i loathe the opposite of the "you must have your hands full" comments. i loathe the ones that imply that i'm not allowed to have my hands full because surely my life is something so extra special and precious.

 

Its funny because I am not the type that says how perfect life is or how perfect this or that is either, that so many others never had a bad word about.

 

the comments do decrease as your child's ages increase. And they comments also change. I have found that i am not stopped nearly as much now that my kids are bigger and I get the most coments the more kids I have with me. I think as they are older having 2 kids, is just average, normal so less comments. When I have my 4 with me I get looks and comments.

They don't bother me unless the comment is totally offensive. I really do think that most people are just trying to be nice and engage in pleasantries with a stranger. I think our world needs more friendly people so I support that whole heartedly.

 

QUOTE(piccologirl @ Jan 21 2009, 12:16 PM) [snapback]1156263[/snapback]
the other thing that bugs me is that i get a lot of people who want me to regale them with gushing emotional displays of the gratitude and joy i get from having a "double blessing." like my neighbor the other day who so obviously wanted me to tell her how sweetly special my days are with my matching set of adorable little twinsies. when i instead replied, "oh they've been so crabby all weekend," her face crumpled and she corrected me and said, "but i'm sure they're just wonderful most of the time." why yes, i happen to think my children are wonderful, but it's not my job to help you imagine the happy fluffy sweet fun life of two adorable matching babies.

I must say that this cracks me up. We have SO MANY ladies on this board dying for nice comments about thier kids instead of the rude assumptions. Here this lady is trying to be nice and your still getting irritated.

That just goes to show that people really can't win. No matter what they say.

 

maybe you're right, maybe they can't win. i don't feel like i should have to be a spectacle just because i happened to split an egg.

 

Oh ...My FAVORITE!

I have an 18 year old and a 17 year old...and these guys are 13 months.....they are all boys....you can just imagine....

"oh they weren't planned" ....Nope we did over a 100 shots and had a room full of people there the day they were concieved....but no planning involved at all! (I don't say that...but I just smile and say our prayers were answered) sometimes they press and I say yes they were very much planned for......

and then they keep on......"but you didn't plan for two" (well actually we did....we put in 2 day 5 embryo's and prayed like heck that they would both take! and they did!) there again I just think that....and respond...oh yes, we planned for two!


Oh boy....but the previous posters are right...these people most of the time are just trying to be nice....


Oh and then my dear MOM....we were at a babyshower when I was pregnant and someone said something about us doing IVF....(wanting me to talk to another lady TTC) and My MOm.....said..."don't worry they are REALLY their children.....they used all of their "STUFF" oH MY LORD! I had a cow when we got in the car, I had to explain that she didn't know if we did or didn't use "our stuff" that was between my husband and myself, and what if someone else there had to use a donor? does it make it any less their child? Heaven's NO it doesn't!

So just take a deep breath and smile, make the most out of every day.

 

I was like you (still am I guess) i didnt' like the extra attention since it ALWAYS ment someone trying to touch the babies or sticking their heads right in the stroller, or double trouble, or hands full comments. I just wanted to be invisible and it was frustrating that when I FINALLY got out of the house that I had to WATCH my babies the entire time instead of just enjoy them. I would always look at moms of singletons and wish I got the same level of attention they got. It really gets better as they get older say 9 months or so.

when people say double trouble I always say "oh NO they are not trouble" I just figure no child deserves that label.

when they say "you have your hands full" I usually say something back like "I know I'm so lucky". or "thank goodness !!!"

 

My inaugural post.

For the most part, I view the comments as "nicely intentive." However, I had two situations in which the claws came out.

1) Older lady in the hospital lobby tells me I need to bundle my girls (6 months). Well, we were both waiting for the valet to come w/ the cars, and I know that the heater would be on when I got my car. So, I told her "we're fine." Well, she kept harping, I kept deflecting, until she said, "You don't deserve those girls." My response: "Well, you definitely know about not being worthy of children, don't you?"

2) SAHM w/ two toddlers in a SuperTarget walks past me and sneers (actually made other people's heads turn :huh: ) "you have your hands full, no wonder you're stressed." I was like :huh: ? I just reminded her that one of her "angels" just sneezed on the produce (not true, but it definitely had the staff swarm in around her). Yes, I'm evil that way.

 

Oh my gosh, I HATE when people say "are they twins?" What the crap?? Also one that really IRKS me is "it's two boys" or "its two girls".... this was when we had a pink carseat in the snap and go, and a blue one.... yeah, I want to make my boy gay by putting him in a girl car seat.... WHAT THE CRAP??????

Ugh, and I always get "double trouble" "you have your hands full" "I don't envy you"

and one that REALLY MADE ME MAD.... " I rather be commited into an institution that have twins"

:angry:

 

QUOTE(internet_cowgirl @ Jan 22 2009, 04:55 PM) [snapback]1157912[/snapback]
My inaugural post.

For the most part, I view the comments as "nicely intentive." However, I had two situations in which the claws came out.

1) Older lady in the hospital lobby tells me I need to bundle my girls (6 months). Well, we were both waiting for the valet to come w/ the cars, and I know that the heater would be on when I got my car. So, I told her "we're fine." Well, she kept harping, I kept deflecting, until she said, "You don't deserve those girls." My response: "Well, you definitely know about not being worthy of children, don't you?"

2) SAHM w/ two toddlers in a SuperTarget walks past me and sneers (actually made other people's heads turn :huh: ) "you have your hands full, no wonder you're stressed." I was like :huh: ? I just reminded her that one of her "angels" just sneezed on the produce (not true, but it definitely had the staff swarm in around her). Yes, I'm evil that way.


Hysterical!

 

QUOTE(Melissatwins84 @ Jan 22 2009, 10:16 PM) [snapback]1157933[/snapback]
Oh my gosh, I HATE when people say "are they twins?" What the crap?? Also one that really IRKS me is "it's two boys" or "its two girls".... this was when we had a pink carseat in the snap and go, and a blue one.... yeah, I want to make my boy gay by putting him in a girl car seat.... WHAT THE CRAP??????

Ugh, and I always get "double trouble" "you have your hands full" "I don't envy you"

and one that REALLY MADE ME MAD.... " I rather be commited into an institution that have twins"

:angry:


Wait...how is that any more offensive than saying putting a boy in a girl car seat will "make him gay"? It is my opinion that that comment is homophobic and hateful. Gosh, I hope you didn't mean it that way, and I'm misundertanding something.

 

I called my cousin from the hospital and told him that he had 2 new cousins. He didn't know that we were expecting, and asked me if we had just had baby birds (I have several pet parrots). I replied that no, they were human cousins, and he asked me to spell the word "human." Then he asked me how we got them. WTF ???????

 

hahah, I love this thread!!

It is true that the comments decrease as they get older. Last night at the mall, I didn't have one person say anything to us!

Now it's more of a twin to twin thing. Other MoMs come up and say things about my twins, their twins, which is so much nicer than strangers saying stuff.

As for the touching, I live in a very hispanic area, I knew there would be lots of feet touching and I just learned to deal with it. It doesn't even bother me anymore.

 

QUOTE(Neumsy @ Jan 23 2009, 04:11 AM) [snapback]1158554[/snapback]
Wait...how is that any more offensive than saying putting a boy in a girl car seat will "make him gay"? It is my opinion that that comment is homophobic and hateful. Gosh, I hope you didn't mean it that way, and I'm misundertanding something.

i assumed she meant it more as a joke than a literal belief that it would "make him gay." but i'm optimistic like that.

 

QUOTE(Neumsy @ Jan 23 2009, 03:11 AM) [snapback]1158554[/snapback]
Wait...how is that any more offensive than saying putting a boy in a girl car seat will "make him gay"? It is my opinion that that comment is homophobic and hateful. Gosh, I hope you didn't mean it that way, and I'm misundertanding something.


I am not homophobic... I just said it as a joke, and I am sorry if I offended anyone. I just don't understand why people think that I would put my son in a pink car seat with flowers.