yet another sleeping issue post

Hey everyone!

I'm in desperate need of help! My girls are 5months old now (adjusted age 4mos). The last few weeks they have undergone a serious sleep regression and I don't know what to do about it!!! We have a horrible time getting them to sleep at night (usually not until 11pm) and then they take turns waking up all through the night! Usually we only get one in the crib to start and the other will be in the swing or in bed with us, sucking on me. Then they take turns in the swing or in bed with us (always sucking) until the morning. Sometimes we are able to lift them back into the crib, but they usually don't last long. They are rarely able to put themselves back to sleep once they wake up. During the day, they will only nap when at the breast, but they do usually have one really good sleep in their jogger in the afternoon (usually for several hours). They can't be so hungry that they are waking up every time to eat since they each gained a pound in the last two weeks, but they just always want to suck. I am loathe to try pacis since it took us so long to establish the breastfeeding.
My husband is starting to lose it, and wants to do CIO. He also wants to maybe separate them and put them in another room.
Does anyone have any other options/ideas for me to try? I'd really like to use CIO as a last resort since I know from long car drives with them that they can scream like banshees for hours without stopping. Anyone read the No Cry Sleep Solution. What would that book say to me?

Help!!!

One very tired twin mommy,
Melissa

 

I just started sleep training 4 days ago and already there is a world of difference. My girls would never ever sleep anywhere but in their swings or attached to my boobs. Friday, I took them out of their swaddles and would leave them to cry from 3-15 minutes at a time. One fell asleep quickly and the other cried for over an hour and a half. That night was terrible. I couldn't just leave them to cry, so I went in and checked but never picked up. They are still sleeping in their swings, but I have stopped turning them on. Last night one slept from 8pm-3am and then until 8am. And the other slept from 8pm-5am and then until 8am. The first two nights I wouldn't pick them up except for once in the night because then they would just want to eat. Now they eat once a night. I am uncomfortable dropping all the night feedings since they are still small (11.5 lbs) even though their pedi gave it the okay. They were waking up every 2 hours max before. Sleep training is hard, but utilizing the CIO method doesn't necessarily require you to just let them scream for hours on end. It is hard to listen to them cry, but after 3 days, I will tell you its definitely worth it. I feel like a completely different mom and now I am excited when they wake up to play. They learn very quickly that crying doesn't work and they learn to sleep on their own.

Good luck!

 

Please buy this book "THE NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION". I am not a fan of CIO and this helped tremendously with my daughter. I couldn't get her to sleep anywhere that wasn't attached to me.... and I didn't want to do the CIO method. Good luck to you!

 

We started having trouble with our dd around that time, and I did a modified CIO for her. It only took 1 night.

She just needed to fuss. She didn't full blown scream, she was just grouching/fussing/whining. I kept going in to check on her, pat her, shush her, replace paci, give her the lovey and then back out again. I never picked her up or actually talked to her at all. I'm not against CIO (I did it with my older 2 at age 8 and 10 months) but I never do full CIO where you don't go back in, I always always go in and check on them when they crying turns into a more of a frantic/worried cry.

At this stage if you want to use a paci it won't affect breastfeeding. You are well established at that. It does sound like they are using you as a pacifier and that's not good either. I personally love paci's and use them until my kids give them up around age 2-3, but I know not everyone is like that so it's really a personal decision on what you prefer to do. But I do believe it would eliminate the constant sucking on you all night long, which isn't conducive to mommy getting any sleep!

Mine are 9 months old, still in our room, and still sharing a crib, so I'm no help there! We are working on finishing their room this week and hope to have them moved out (and separated) this weekend. I'll let you know how it goes! :lol:

 

I relied on the paci. But BFing wasn't working for us so I understand your reason not to start it. I wonder if there is a paci that is nipple-like. I hope you find something that works for you guys! Around 5 months is when I started getting them to sleep in their cribs in their room(it was a 3-4 week process though).

 

I am reading the No Cry Sleep Solution now, and I LOVE it. It does not offer any fast fixes, but it does offer lots of information about ways to get your babies to sleep without ever doing CIO.
She helps you learn to wean them off things such as the swing, being held, waking up as soon as you put them down in the crib, etc. The basic idea is that the babies thing they NEED these things to go to sleep, so she teaches you to gently wean them off of them so that they can go to sleep---and stay asleep---on their own.

What I like most about the book is that she helps you to really observe exactly what is going on with your individual babies sleep patterns and helps you find ways that they can gradually learn to self soothe. Like I said, it's not offering any fast fixes. BUT, I noticed lots of improvements as soon as we started implementing some of the ideas. It really also helped me to think about what I was doing that was sometimes discouraging sleep rather than encouraging it (even when I thought was encouraging it).

I wish I could write more about it now, but if you don't want to do CIO, or only do it as a last resort, I highly recommend the book. It has really helped us thus far.

 

I would definitely encourage getting them pacifiers! We have used them since they were 6 days old and have no issues with breastfeeding. It actually helped correct their latch. My girls have also fallen in love with their loveys since we have begun sleep training. And nothing is cuter than seeing your baby lay there sleeping with her arms wrapped around a little frog

 

When I read your subject I did a double-take and had to think about whether I had posted and then forgotten! My DH is also going to make me do CIO, and my babies are also 5 months with an adjusted age of 4 months (and I'm also Melissa!). J&D wake up repeatedly in the night, sometimes 1 time, but sometimes 3 or 4 times. Our pediatrician, who also has twins, says we should just CIO, that they don't need to eat. But I feel like they do, and that I can't tell when they're hungry and when they're not, and ignoring them feels cruel. So far I have been able to hold DH off by compromising - we're doing CIO for naps (I soothe them for 5 minutes, and then put them down whether they are asleep or not) and that is working pretty well. Naps are easier for me because I know they're full, I know their diapers are not wet. I can't control those factors when they wake at random times in the night. I'm hoping that focusing on naps will buy me some time and that they'll eventually drop some of their night wakings...but if not I may have to leave the apartment for 4 days to let DH do CIO overnight!

 

It sounds like sleep training of some type is definitely in order but it doesn't have to be CIO. Here is a link to stories from moms here on Twinstuff who have used methods other than CIO. Hopefully, you can find some advice that will help you decide what to do with your little ones! :hug:

 

Another vote for trying a pacifier. Babies need to suck on something to comfort themselves and if you don't want them using you as a paci then you need to give them another option. At this stage it would not affect breastfeeding at all as they will still want you when they are hungry. No kind of sleep training is going to work without giving them a way to self soothe and if they don't use hands/fingers then a paci is the best option.