Yet another sleep question...

Sorry to keep posting for sleep help, but you guys have such great ideas!

We've made huge progress with girly's sleep (thank goodness), but I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to even begin to fix boy twin's sleep. He literally will not sleep except with (on) an adult. Even that's not really true. He will sleep with my mom but fidgets a lot, and he just screams if my husband takes him. So really, he wants to just sleep with me. I hate sleeping with kids - I can't get comfortable, I end up with a stiff neck, and I feel like I was awake all night even when I wasn't - but the bigger problem is that I keep waking him up with my tossing and turning, so he's overtired too.

I'm trying to come up with something (anything) to do that is not CIO, but I can't think of anything, because he screams like he's being injured every time he's in his crib (or pack n play, or even my bed if I'm not with him), even if I'm standing next to him and patting him. The only way to keep him from screaming is to sleep with him. I have 5 other kids, and I've never had this problem before. I read HSHHC, and it makes sense to me, but it still requires CIO (although he calls it extinction).

Besides not wanting to see my baby so miserable, I have logistical problems with CIO, too. There's really nowhere in the house that I can make him CIO w/o waking up other kids.

Any ideas for how to wean him off of cosleeping w/o torturing the whole family? Thanks for reading.

 

Sorry to keep posting for sleep help, but you guys have such great ideas!

We've made huge progress with girly's sleep (thank goodness), but I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to even begin to fix boy twin's sleep. He literally will not sleep except with (on) an adult. Even that's not really true. He will sleep with my mom but fidgets a lot, and he just screams if my husband takes him. So really, he wants to just sleep with me. I hate sleeping with kids - I can't get comfortable, I end up with a stiff neck, and I feel like I was awake all night even when I wasn't - but the bigger problem is that I keep waking him up with my tossing and turning, so he's overtired too.

I'm trying to come up with something (anything) to do that is not CIO, but I can't think of anything, because he screams like he's being injured every time he's in his crib (or pack n play, or even my bed if I'm not with him), even if I'm standing next to him and patting him. The only way to keep him from screaming is to sleep with him. I have 5 other kids, and I've never had this problem before. I read HSHHC, and it makes sense to me, but it still requires CIO (although he calls it extinction).

Besides not wanting to see my baby so miserable, I have logistical problems with CIO, too. There's really nowhere in the house that I can make him CIO w/o waking up other kids.

Any ideas for how to wean him off of cosleeping w/o torturing the whole family? Thanks for reading.

 

Sorry for your troubles, you must be exhausted!

It sounds to me like you might have to try the pick up/put down method by the baby whisperer. It doesn't involve CIO, she doesn't believe in that. It can take a while for it to work, but it really does help. You could try lining his crib with something your wore or has your scent on it (like a pillow case) so that he thinks you're with him. I did that when my twins were newborn as they had trouble settling without me. It worked great. Is he too big to swaddle?

 

the pick up/put down method is really amazing. after doing it for a month, my boys can fall asleep within 5 minutes. i sometimes have to humm as i pat them. My boys slept in car seats until a month ago so this transition was huge for them. i always said they hate their crib and cant sleep in it but then i realized i needed to teach them howw to sleep.

now having them sleep through the night is a different story for me. They each wake to eat or because of teething issues. When will it end!!

 

Debbi, can you try to put him down on his own once he's been asleep for a little while (10 min.) He might wake and fuss, but give him about 5 min. to go back to sleep before you intervene. That's not CIO, but it might be a little crying!

 

I hate to say it... BUT for us... my Jack was like that as well... and he is STILL like that. If he isn't sleeping with one of us, he won't sleep! BUT, we have a king sized bed, and there is lots of room, and we all sleep peacefully.

 

Thanks (again!) for all the advice and success stories. I busted out my old copy of the baby whisperer for a refresher, and moved my good sleeper into my room in a pack n play so I could work on the boy. I started putting him down at 8 and he fell asleep at 8:27. He woke up at 8:51, and cried until 10:05, whether I was holding him, patting him, or ignoring him - I finally left the room, and he settled down a few minutes later. I told dh, if he's going to be hysterical when I'm helping him, maybe CIO is my only option after all. So far, it's been another hour and he's fussed once, but only for a second. I'm afraid we're in for a long night, but I'm a little optimistic!

Off topic - I'm watching the national geographic multiples special - how wild! I still can't believe we all did this!

 

Hi there,

Can I ask if you are still swaddling him? even if its with his arms out? My boys are 5 months old and we've recently realized that htey just feel safer and sleep better if they are swaddled tight. So we swaddle them for naps and bed --

They always wriggle free at least one arm -- but it helps get them to sleep.

Can you do a modified CIO with him sleeping in a crib or pnp in your room? that way you're there. It may take a few nights of pain, but it may work in the long run...

Teri D

 

He slept in his crib all night!!! After he fell asleep at 10:05 (per my earlier post), he woke up at 1 and 5, ate, and went back to sleep in his crib with no fussing. He slept til 7:30! I seriously can NOT believe it. I'm so hopeful now!

Thank you all so much for your advice and for keeping me from feeling alone!