Yesterday I found out I'm pregnant again

Ladies I really need some support so I decided to post here. My girls are now getting close to 4.5. This fall we are putting them in some dance classes for the first time, next fall they will be in kindergarten, and faced with the extra time I have been seriously considering going back to work and entering the "adult world" again. Everything was going well, on track, we felt 2 was the perfect number and though we had talked about more kids we ultimately decided not to do it.

Yesterday while looking in the mirror I noticed my belly was very large and I do mean large. I figure it was from the prescription meds I take because they can cause significant weight gain. Then I realized it had been about 5 days since my period should have started. I didn't think much of it, it fluctuates a few days here and there though it is usually regular. I had an old pregnancy test just lying around so figured I would take it. I was nervous even though I expected (hoped?) the result would be negative. Afterward I couldn't tell if it was positive or not. I bought some more tests and all in all took 4 tests from 3 different brands. They came out positive.

I am in complete shock. So was my husband. We have talked numerous times about getting a vasectomy, or my tubes tied because we didn't want any more kids. I am not sure what stopped us. But now it is obviously too late. I don't believe in abortion so I am keeping the baby no matter what. I want to get into a doctor to confirm so I can start planning. But my husband is in the military and the clinic told me they don't do pregnancy tests until you are at least 2 weeks past your missed period.

I feel terrible because I was not excited when I heard the news. I've been worried, stressed, scared, just in disbelief. I feel like I am in denial. I feel so unprepared, and like I will never be able to handle another child on top of twins. Not to mention I am SO WORRIED it will be twins again. I can't be more than 4 weeks along and I am already huge. I look like I am 3 months along. That is how they first suspected I had twins last time, my uterus was much larger and higher than it should have been. I think I would die of a heart attack if I found out I was having 2 again.

I guess I really just needed some womanly support. This is much harder than I could have imagined and I want to be happy and excited about it all, but it is hard when I feel my entire world changed overnight.

 

I think all your feelings are totally normal! Of course you were looking forward to other things and a baby is a definite change in plans. Life has a funny way of doing that sometimes. Don't feel guilty; process this change however you need to and feel however you feel about it. it won't change the love you have for the baby once they arrive and things will work out, but it is hard accepting that they're not going to be according to plan. :grouphug: Sending lots of vibes for a healthy pregnancy, and hopefully a happy one too.

 

Jen said it perfectly!! Whatever emotions you are feeling, they are yours and they are justified for reasons only understandable to you! This *will* be okay in the end!

I know it's hard to see the positive's right now, but a few are that your girls will be huge huge helpers whether you have 1 baby or 2! My oldest son was 4.5 when our next child was born, and he was soooooo excited to be a big brother. He adored his little sis, I have so many pictures of him holding her and cuddling her, playing with her when she was a baby. He was old enough to get his own snacks and juice, old enough to help keeping an eye on her, he'd bring diapers, burp clothes or a change of clothes when I needed them. It really was so nice having him so independent already when she came along.

Dance classes this fall will still give them something to look forward to that is just for them. Kindergarten next year will give you a little time to focus on the baby while they are in school.

:youcandoit: and it'll be okay I swear once your head wraps around this!! :hug:

As for your belly, second pregnancies will always show faster than first ones will. Because everything is already pre-stretched out (especially having twins first ), and your body also knows what to do this time around, it remembers from last time. Muscles will start relaxing sooner, I had braxton hicks sooner...etc.

Give yourself some time to process this and don't beat yourself up for being upset about it! :hug:

 

I think this is why it takes 9 months to grow a baby. Jen & Danielle have said everything I would have. Don't judge what you're feeling, just go ahead & feel it, work through it & let it go. :hug:

 

Your twins are ID right? Then it's unlikely to be twins again... But I'd feel like you do. I can't even imagine. You'll get through it!

 

Jenn and Danielle said it perfect. Take time to accept your situation and you will figure out how to make things work. Good luck with your pregnancy, I wish you a healthy 9 months.

 

Everything's pretty much been said. I just want to add that my husband and I wanted more than 1 all along but I still had mixed feelings when I first found out I was pregnant again. Those mixed emotions became even worse when I found out it was twins (ok - I'll admit I was terrified!). It's perfectly normal to feel a wide range of emotions. And you've already got a great resource here!

 

I adore my baby girl. I wanted another kid but when the boys were more manageable- ironically around your girls' age. I went to the doctor in June of last year saying "I'm not pregnant but something's out of whack". Yeah, I was pregnant. I couldn't even tell DH, who did NOT want anymore kids, out loud. I wrote it on a piece of paper and held it up for him to see. Fast forward to about January of this year. My baby started becoming real to me. I started prepping for our lives with her including a VBAC. She's here and has been one of the best things I've ever done. This kid is a joy - even my very reticent DH just adores her.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is- you will come around. You will love little him/her completely and it's ok to feel weird and strange and cheated of how you thought your life would look this time next year. It's ok because it's going to be better than you ever imagined. :hug:

 

First off, congratulations! I could've written your post about a year and a half ago, though the difference was that we did eventually want another child and my twin daughters were only 8 months old.... That being said, those same emotions were playing through my mind as well... We were NOT ready for another baby yet..but as the pregnancy went on I did become much more excited and now I can't imagine life without my little man... The advantage you have..as I think others have said is that your girls are older and hopefully they will be a bit of help and they will be in kindergarten during the day. I worried as well about having twins again..in fact I was just convinced! Either way you will do fine..big hugs and take care.

 

Thanks so much for your support everyone! Now that it has sunk in a little more I am feeling a little better. I know it is unexpected but that doesn't mean it has to be bad. I know we will love this child no matter what. My husband said "Think about it, a couple years we will look around and won't be able to imagine life any differently" Plus I have 8 months to prepare myself for the new baby so I'm sure in that amount of time I can get things figured out I'm actually feeling a bit excited about it now. Thanks again!

 

I'm happy you are having a 3rd- I love what you named your girls and am looking forward to what you'll come up with for #3.

 

Everyone said it so well already but I promise you, 3 isn't so bad. I honestly think the best part about having my third is watching my twins in the big brother/big sister roles. They blossomed so much and love their little sister so much that it has brought out a whole new aspect of their personalities! I look forward to seeing updates! Hop on over to the "Pregnant after Twins" board and you'll get lots of BTDT support

 

Exactly this happened to me. I just found out we are expecting #3 about 2 weeks ago. You could have knocked me over with a feather. Seriously. I felt/feel exactly the way that you do. Things were getting to be so easy with the girls; they are starting Pre-K. Everything seemed to be falling into place...but my tummy was looking bigger, I missed my period, I felt weird, etc. Took a dollar store test and BAM!

My dh keeps reminding me that this is such a blessing and that we will be fine. In my heart I know he's right.

I did find out that I am having just one, so that was a big relief. I was a wreck thinking it could be twins...I'm a fraternal twin, had a set of twins and am of older maternal age.

So, we're in this together! That's all I got right now. LOL!

Wishing you the absolute best with your pregnancy.

 

Two new recruits in Pregnant After Twins! YAY!!!!!!