Yelling and screaming....and it's me not them

Let me begin by saying that I am generally a very calm, quiet and patient person. Most days I can handle the day to day stressors involved with caring for two three year olds without feeling like I'm losing it. But lately, I don't know what it is, I have found myself yelling and at times it feels like I am even screaming at them. Typically it's when I have told them over and over to stop doing something. (One of my biggest stressors right now is that they like to run in the house..and really fast! I'm so afraid one of them is going to get hurt. I've tried diversions, time-outs, trips to their room, etc without much luck!) Or today, they were fighting and screaming over something and I just yelled to be louder than them so that they could hear me. Not my proudest moment. And what makes it worse is that I have noticed my one son saying to his brother "Nicholas, give me back my car...NOW" in this very stern loud voice. And my heart sinks because I think golly he is very likely imitating me. Because I know I have said it to them. Oh my...I'm filled with so much guilt tonight that I have not been a very good Mom lately. I love them to pieces and I want them to grow up in a very loving, secure home. Thanks for listening and I appreciate any advice anyone would have.

 

:hug: Momma! I think we have all been there at one point or another, so you are definitely not alone! :hug:

Have you tried 1-2-3 Magic? That has worked great here with behavioral issues. :good:

When my two fight over a toy (and I don't know who had it first), I give them to the count of 3 (just like in the book)to work it out, but instead of timeout I take the toy away from both of them. They do get timeouts for other behavior, but I base the consequences of their behavior on what I think will be the most effective. I tell them before I start counting what the consequences will be if they choose not to listen. They key is to find out what works for your kids. I can tell you that I rarely get past 2. My girls know I mean business.

As far as running in the house, I let my girls run. Do they fall down? Sure. But it's not life ending when they do, it helps them burn energy, exercise, and gain agility. I really try to pick my battles and maintain balance. I do my best to let them explore their surroundings and experience natural consequences, but at the same time ensure they are aware and follow the rules and expectations that I have of them (age appropriate of course).

I find that I am constantly having to remind myself that they are only kids. I can't expect them to behave like I do, nor should they.

 

:blush: Right now, my boys are only 2, but gosh, I already understand what you are saying. I hate yelling at them, but we all have our not-so-proud moments/days. I hear Cameron yelling at Kiefer and telling him what he can and cannot do. He gets that from me and some things from his father. I feel so bad when he does that. He'll try bossing Kiefer around telling him he can't do something when Kiefer isn't even doing anything wrong. I just want to bury my head in the sand when he does that. Poor Kiefer! But, we all just have to forgive ourselves. We do our best and we are allowed to slip up every now and then. Our nerves can only take so much! :hug:

 

:hug: I think we've all had those screaming Mommy moments...I know I do :blush:
I do the same as Krystyn with fighting over toys (1-2-3 Magic is working so much better here as my kids get older)...I would say most of the time, I don't even have to get to three before they've settled down and worked it out.
My two love to run the house at high speed, I let them. I figure it's burning off energy and getting them some exercise. There's not much in their path that will seriously hurt them, though they have fallen a few times, but as long as I know they are not going seriously hurt themselves or damage anything, I let them run.

Hang in there Momma!

 

Thanks everyone....your support and advice is greatly appreciated! I need to get that 1-2-3 Magic book. Sounds like that might be helpful. I know I use probably a modified version of this now. For example, when I'm trying to get them in their car seats I will say "Mommy is going to count to 5 and if you aren't in your seat then Mommy will have to put you in your seat". Amazingly it works. Glad to hear it works in other settings like toy sharing issues. As far as the running in the house, I guess what scares me is that just a few weeks ago my one son fell in our bedroom and cut his head on our night stand. It required three staples - YIKES! Makes me a little more nervous. What I try to do now is just take them outside as much as possible (and the weather allows) or find activities inside like dancing to music or playing ball that we can do inside.

Thanks again so much for everything. I am feeling better today....it's a new day....and I am doing the best I can. You all are the best!

 

:hug: you are not alone! We also use the 123 magic and it works really well for them. They actually start counting at each other and it's pretty funny.
I also let mine run in the house but I totally understand your apprehension! While they are running can you tell them to jump? Sometimes that helps slow them down and distract them...
Good luck!