Yeah, I'm a REALLY young mom..

I can't stand going out in public with the twins sometimes. I mean, I love getting stopped by everyone (when I'm not in a rush) and having everyone admire them, but then they get a good look at me, and so the questions being. Yes, I'm ONLY 19, and YES, I have two beautiful 11 month old twin boys, but what does my age have to do with anything? I realize I'm young, they weren't a 'mistake', sure my hands are full, by why do strangers feel the need to point out the obvious? "I HOPE YOU HAVE FAMILY THAT HELPS OUT!!" or "GEEZ, YOUR JUST A TEENAGER!!" I knew what I was getting myself into when I wanted a baby and God just happened to bless me with twins. I wish strangers would just give me credit for seeing me with MY kids and realizing that I'M DOING JUST FINE! Ughhh.. just a rant. Maybe when I turn 20 in April, it won't sound so.. uhmm.. different!

 

I think you should start looking at it as a compliment. Probably most people, like me, are amazed you can do what you do when you are in fact just a teenager. I know there's no way I could have done what you are doing. :bow2:

 

Well, THANKS.. I'll take your word for it

 

I know what you mean.. its hard enough to deal with the peoples comments and questions, but then being younger I can only imagine the things people say...and Im sure they dont even say HALF of what they really think!
I was pregnant w/ my first son when I was 20/21, and even though he was just one baby, people still looked at me like I was a teen mom. Now I have 4 kids and Im 26. I think I still look pretty young and I get the regular "you've really got your hands full" and "Are they all yours??" EVERY single time I go out.

 

I also had a baby at 19 and although it was only 1 I still got the same comments! People don't realize how they come off sometimes and I agree it is rude-I mean if you wanted their opinions you would ask right. I now am 32 and have a 12 yr old, a 17 month old and 4 month old twins. Between all of the questions about why the big gap in ages and how people feel sorry for me etc. because I have so much on my plate I feel like saying " mind your own damn business!" However my best advice to you is that people are naturally curious and usually mean well. Just let it roll off your back and try to ignore their comments. Just think you will be the best and youngest looking Mom around when they are in high school! Now that my daughter is in junior high, my DH and me are by far the youngest folks around-many of her friends parents are in their 50's. I feel blessed that I had her when I did. It helped me grow up and got me on the right track. Hang in there and don't take it too personally.

 

QUOTE(babymOmmax2 @ Feb 5 2009, 02:20 PM) [snapback]1177541[/snapback]
I can't stand going out in public with the twins sometimes. I mean, I love getting stopped by everyone (when I'm not in a rush) and having everyone admire them, but then they get a good look at me, and so the questions being. Yes, I'm ONLY 19, and YES, I have two beautiful 11 month old twin boys, but what does my age have to do with anything? I realize I'm young, they weren't a 'mistake', sure my hands are full, by why do strangers feel the need to point out the obvious? "I HOPE YOU HAVE FAMILY THAT HELPS OUT!!" or "GEEZ, YOUR JUST A TEENAGER!!" I knew what I was getting myself into when I wanted a baby and God just happened to bless me with twins. I wish strangers would just give me credit for seeing me with MY kids and realizing that I'M DOING JUST FINE! Ughhh.. just a rant. Maybe when I turn 20 in April, it won't sound so.. uhmm.. different!



Ok, may I say one thing? OMG!! You are amazing. Seriously. All hats off to you. I got pregnant when I was 28, had them when I was 29, and now that I'm 30 I'm only just starting to think that I maybe have it all together. Meaning, we get through most days, everyone is fed and clothed, so its all good. To do that at your age is incredible. I would have seriously lost the plot if I did that 10 years ago. Maybe the people who make stupid comments are a little in awe of you as they know that they themselves couldn't do what you're doing.

 

I'm 37 and get it too, only I get "Wow..were they an accident..at YOUR age?" Or my favorite..."You'll be almost 60 when they're 20! --GASP--!!!"

Lol..evidently being young makes you incompetent and being old makes me crazy and decrepit! If I were closer we'd go out together sometime with all the babies just to mess with peoples heads! LOL!

 

QUOTE(Meximeli @ Feb 5 2009, 01:27 PM) [snapback]1177558[/snapback]
I think you should start looking at it as a compliment. Probably most people, like me, are amazed you can do what you do when you are in fact just a teenager. I know there's no way I could have done what you are doing. :bow2:


I agree! I can't believe someone would say "you're ONLY a teenager" to you though, that would get under my skin too!

 

I was 22 when I had my girls, and I do look younger than that... and everyone makes those comments to me as well. I just think to myself about how much more "together" I have it than most of my peers. Be PROUD of yourself!

 

QUOTE(Monica08 @ Feb 5 2009, 03:34 PM) [snapback]1177661[/snapback]
I just think to myself about how much more "together" I have it than most of my peers. Be PROUD of yourself!


I agree, be proud of your huge accomplishments! I was 22 when I had my first.

 

QUOTE(Neumsy @ Feb 5 2009, 03:30 PM) [snapback]1177654[/snapback]
If I were closer we'd go out together sometime with all the babies just to mess with peoples heads! LOL!



Oh, that would be GREAT!!!

Thanks for all the kind words & advice.. I'll take it as a COMPLIMENT for now on =]

 

QUOTE(Meximeli @ Feb 5 2009, 11:27 AM) [snapback]1177558[/snapback]
I think you should start looking at it as a compliment. Probably most people, like me, are amazed you can do what you do when you are in fact just a teenager. I know there's no way I could have done what you are doing. :bow2:



I agree too! I would not have been able to handle this (or much of anything) at 19! Congrats on doing a great job!

 

People just have to say something. I don't understand why some people can't keep their mouths shut. And FWIW, I get it too. "Wow you are SO young to have twins." I look young, but I'm actually 33 (ack 34 in april!). And its not a compliment... IMO its people thinking they know better than me about what age is appropriate to have kids. I just wish some people would think before they speak.

 

People ask me "Twins? Yours?!" and give me that weird look all the time. I'm 25 now, but I look like I am 18-19. My MIL came with me to the girls' 6-month check up last week and the doctor AND nurse asked if the babies belonged to ME or HER.

I know it's frustrating, but [I'm going to reiterate PP's] take it as a compliment and brush off those weird looks. You have everything together, you should be proud of it at your age ^_^

 

Well I was just heading out the door with MIL last week with the twins and a woman stopped us and asked who the mother was! :umm: Holy moses I was insulted! My MIL looks great for her age (60) but what did that say about me?! Im 33!!!!

BTW, I think you´re doing a great job, at 19, with having twins! I couldnt have done it at your age! Well done!

 

Thanks guys. There shouldn't be a specific frame that's considered 'age-appropriate' to have children. I mean, I really wouldn't have it any other way. It made me grow up A LOT and realize not to take life or time for granted. I may not be able to come and go as I please, say what I want, or do what I want anymore, but the more that I look at my friends wasting their days away drinking and partying.. I realize that I'm the one who truly has it made. I'm with the father, we have a great little townhouse, and two great little boys. What more could you ask for?! I'm not saying it's easy.. there's days where I really wonder how I got through, but in the end, it doesn't matter if your 19 or 49.. either or, there still getting taken care of and get 2x the love!

 

The age you are doesn't matter, as long as you are a great mom - and you ARE!! It's so obvious! I would just take these comments as compliments .

 

Well i'll be 39 next month and the other day I was printing some pictures of the boys at walmart and a lady goes "oh cute!, your grand babies?" :lol: WHAT!!!!! I could have never had twins at 19-NO-WAY! Your doing great! I know for a fact you have more energy than I do!

 

I got that too as i was only 22 when i had mine and its wow your really young to have twins how do you cope!! I used to say probably a lot better than you!! Dont let it get to you i mean what do they know about you ?! Just because you are younger doesnt mean that you arnt a great mum people are just ignorant x

 

When I realized that I would be close to 60 years old when my boys graduate from High School, I wanted to faint. I had the boys (my first, last and only) when I was 38 – I will have to work to pay for college until 5 years after I'm dead

Be glad you had your precious boys early, sounds like you're doing exactly what you need to be doing!!!

good luck

 

I don't know if you are married or not, not that it matters, but I wasn't when I had my first at 19. When I was pregnant, I got alot of stares...so I finally put on a fake wedding ring. It worked for people who didn't know me. I was just so tired of the stares and comments from strangers. Years ago it was the norm to have babies at your age? Enjoy your little guys they grow up fast. My firstborn in now 13.

 

Just think of all the compliement you and your kids will get when they are older...such us "ohhh what a pretty mom you have...you are so lucky
to have a young mother"

 

hey, keep your head up. you are doing great job.
Actually the contry where I came from the avereage age for the first mom 18-22 If you don't have kids at 24 it look weird. and if you are not married by 26 you are old maiden ( not sure that I translate it correctly)

Here in America there is an different attitude for the having kids. so that why people react so weird. but believe me you have much more energies and ideas for your kids when I am at my 34. I had my first one at 30 and I still think I was already old for that. but it took us 3 year to get pregnant with first. so I cannto change anything.

So just be proud that you are already mom of twins.

 

QUOTE(Chase&Parker @ Feb 5 2009, 02:43 PM) [snapback]1177824[/snapback]
When I realized that I would be close to 60 years old when my boys graduate from High School, I wanted to faint. I had the boys (my first, last and only) when I was 38 – I will have to work to pay for college until 5 years after I'm dead

Be glad you had your precious boys early, sounds like you're doing exactly what you need to be doing!!!

good luck

Oh no, that means i'll be 59, I think I want to faint!!!!! (my boys too are my first, last and only ) Oh to be 19 again!

 

QUOTE(alex&andysmom @ Feb 5 2009, 06:53 PM) [snapback]1177915[/snapback]
Oh no, that means i'll be 59, I think I want to faint!!!!! (my boys too are my first, last and only ) Oh to be 19 again!

Thats like our Mum, she had us at 41 (but had a few miscarrages between our older sister and older brother.. theres 14 years between us and our sister.. and 7 years between us and our brother..) we werent planned, so we were a true blessing, expecially being 16 weeks premmie....

We are now 17 turning 18. I think you are doing an AWESOME job at being Mother at 19. Who cares what people think.,. just cause your young doesnt mean your not a great Mother. I cant see myself having kids anytime soon.. I love kids, but i dont think i could right now.. and your so blessed to be a young mother.. and i think some people are blessed to be able to filful being a mother at that age.. and i agree, i see kids 17, 18, 19 & 20 wasting their life drinking, partying.. just wasting there life.. and i think whats the point of it all? You've got to make a mark in life.. and you definately are.. Im PROUD of you.. and you should be too. :hug:

 

Just try to ignore them. You're obviously doing a great job - I never could have pulled off twins at 19!!

I think people just have to say something - anything - to moms.

When we just had our older DS people would say "Oh, only one child? Aren't you going to give him a brother or sister?" And then when we had our twins, suddenly we heard, "You have your hands full!" or "You're crazy, twins??", "Wow, bet you are busy!". People just like to comment!

And I agree with a PP, wait until they are teenagers and everyone is just amazed at how young and cool their mom is!

 

I was a young mother too. It never really changes, and I'm not "young" anymore. I'll be (gulp) 38 this year. What I get constantly is either "you are NOT his mother" or people who won't say anything and think I have a really young boyfriend. Gross, but true. My soon to be 16 year old is HUGE (6'1", 185 lbs of pure muscle... and really cute ) I HATE people thinking I'm a "cougar" way more than thinking I was a really young mom...

You don't owe these people any answers. Tell them you are "pushing 30" and laugh as you walk away... It really is NOTFB.

 

:Clap: YOU GUYS ALL MADE MY DAY! :Clap:

 

I get the same thing and I am 33. People just speak without thinking.

QUOTE(babymOmmax2 @ Feb 5 2009, 02:20 PM) [snapback]1177541[/snapback]
I can't stand going out in public with the twins sometimes. I mean, I love getting stopped by everyone (when I'm not in a rush) and having everyone admire them, but then they get a good look at me, and so the questions being. Yes, I'm ONLY 19, and YES, I have two beautiful 11 month old twin boys, but what does my age have to do with anything? I realize I'm young, they weren't a 'mistake', sure my hands are full, by why do strangers feel the need to point out the obvious? "I HOPE YOU HAVE FAMILY THAT HELPS OUT!!" or "GEEZ, YOUR JUST A TEENAGER!!" I knew what I was getting myself into when I wanted a baby and God just happened to bless me with twins. I wish strangers would just give me credit for seeing me with MY kids and realizing that I'M DOING JUST FINE! Ughhh.. just a rant. Maybe when I turn 20 in April, it won't sound so.. uhmm.. different!

 

QUOTE(mama23boys @ Feb 6 2009, 12:31 AM) [snapback]1177959[/snapback]
And then when we had our twins, suddenly we heard, "You have your hands full!" or "You're crazy, twins??", "Wow, bet you are busy!". People just like to comment!



OMG, YESSS! This comment amazes me anyway "You're crazy for having twins"...I mean, for heaven's sake, what CHOICE did I have? Lol! Like I sat down one day, and said, "Ok, I'm gonna make TWINS!" Duh. Or, when I get the long sympathetic faces, and people saying "Ohhhhh, deareardear me, how is your older son taking it?" as if I'm dead rather than had more kids. It's just funny to me how people can really think up a way to make just about anything, including pecious baby-blessings, into doom and gloom! People can be such Eeyores-it's ridiculous! Sometimes I just want to shout-BE HAPPY FOR PETE'S SAKE!!!! :crazy:

 

I would ignore them. From reading your posts in this thread and in general, you are doing a great Momma! At 19 there would have been no way I would have had the maturity to handle one child, let alone two. So my hat is off to you! I'm 34 and I still wonder if I have it all together. Don't let those comments get you down. Hold your head high and be proud of the mother you are!

 

THIS THREAD IS ALIVE AGAIN :laughing: I'm proud to report that YES, I AM STILL A STRONG WILLED 19 YEAR OLD MOM TAKING CARE OF MY KIDS & DOING A GOOD JOB !!! I think I'm going to keep a container of confetti in my purse & throw a celebration when strangers decide to point out the obvious :woohoo: :banana: :yahoo: :rotflmbo:

 

I think you should start telling people you're 35 but you use a top secret beauty treatment that you can't possibly reveal!

 

QUOTE(CHJH @ Feb 10 2009, 10:17 PM) [snapback]1185303[/snapback]
I think you should start telling people you're 35 but you use a top secret beauty treatment that you can't possibly reveal!



:lol: :laughing: I like that one!

 

I had my first at 19 and I wouldnt have changed it for the world I always said to people who made a comment about how young I was that Im going to have a great social life at 40 when my son is 21.