WWYD?

I hope someone can lend me some info... As some of you may know, Anthony is going in for his third hypospadias repair surgery on January 10th. We have 8 days to go. He had his first at 12 months, second at 26 months, and now his third he will be 3y2mths. So now, he is older and knows something is up, kwim? The previous surgeries, we never told him anything. I was always there by his side with him up until he was asleep in the OR.

So, do I tell him what is going to happen? Do I just say that he's going to the hospital, he's going to take a nap, etc? I mean, really, what do I tell a three year old?!? I imagine I should tell him *something*, but what?!!? What's enough?

Ugh. I don't want to scare him. If it was Nicholas, I might. Heck, I told Nicholas that he could/should listen for Santa's footprints on the roof on Christmas Eve. You should have seen that kids face go white! LOL! Anthony should be a bit better!

Any advice? I hate that we have to go through this. Again. I just asked DH if maybe we could take the boys to Chuck E. Cheeses next Sunday afternoon so he can have some fun... What did he do? Immediately started to cry. :cry:

But I had to tell him, it could be much worse. He's healthy. And if this is the worst of what we have to deal with, so be it. I'm looking forward to January 20th when this should all be a distant memory!

 

Jessy had open heart surgery in Jan at 4 1/2. We told her we were going to the hospital to have her heart fixed and didn't make a big deal out of it. We did take her to the aquarium the week before

 

I think you should definately tell him something. If it were me, I would. Like you said, he is at an age now where he knows something is going on. I think by good preparation it would make him feel less anxious about the events that will happen when the time comes. I would just try and explain the procedure as simply as possible..."your spot where your pee-pee comes out isn't in the right place and the doctor needs to fix it". Maybe let him know that many boys have had to go through this and it is something that has to be fixed at the hospital. If you think he will understand it, I might even talk about the anesthsia. I think many kids tend to get freaked out about whether or not it will hurt. Maybe just explain that a doctor will give him medicene to make him go to sleep so he won't feel anything and once it is finished he will wake up and you will be there with him.

Also, some hospitals offer a pre-op children's program...where they give a tour to you and your kiddo and get you and child familiar with the hospital setting/surrounding. It might be worth checking into.

:hug: to you! It is so hard when our kiddos have to go through these kind of things. Hopefully, this will be the last of this kind of surgery and it is fixed for good! :hug:

 

My DS had a minor surgery at 2 (hernia repair), and altho he was young, I did talk to him a little bit. I said - We are going to the hospital, to see a doctor, and he is going to do surgery to fix your penis area, and when you go and lay on the table for the surgery you might see people with masks, the masks help keep everything really clean. And, I think I even showed him a few pictures of doctors and nurses with masks (as I have read that kids can get really freaked out when they see medical staff with masks on). My DS did great, and he was up and about in no time. Yes, he did cry when they took him away (as where I live I couldnt go to the operating room with him, or be there when he first woke up), and he cried when he came out of recovery and saw me. But, that was the only tears I saw.

Good luck to all of you : )

 

For my more sensitive ones, I'd tell them but not until the day before if you have to get up super early or the day of if it's after normal wake up time. I have a couple that would make themselves crazy with worry if I told them too soon. As for what to tell him, pps covered that pretty well already.

 

I would definitely tell if it were me. Sure it's gonna be scary, but I think that if you don't tell him, and then take him, it might cause some trust issues later on. If it were me, I would hate to not know anything, then whammo, end up at a hospital. I think that would cause more anxiety then knowing beforehand.

 

I would tell him, but probably only the day before. Since he really can't understand what's going to happen he'll either make himself crazy with anticipation or worry... especially if he can tell that this is a situation that makes YOU tense. And, there's nothing Anthony will do differently in the 8 days until surgery whether he knows or not. An adult would, certainly, but at 3, he's just interested in playing and being a kid. Surgery in a week doesn't change that.

So... I'd nonchalantly mention it the day before. Perhaps something like: tomorrow we're going to the hospital so the doctors and nurses can fix your penis. I'll be with you and when you come home you and Nicholas can do something special. I wouldn't say anything about not being scared or not worrying, because he might not even know this is something that should bother him. And above all... try not to let your stress show! (not easy, right?)

Good luck!!

 

Jon had his tonsils out at that age. We simply told him that the Dr. was going to fix his throat. In your case, I would just say that the doctor is going to fix his penis (or whatever you call it). And reassure him that mommy will be there shortly after he wakes up. Now, Jon had a blankie that he slept with, and we sent it into the surgery with him. That way he had his blankie when he woke up. The doctors and nurses told me that that was a lifesaver, since he didn't wake up well, but was able to calm down when he got his blankie.

 

Count me in the "tell him the day before" camp.

 

Thank you ladies! I/We will tell him the day before. I don't want him stressing or seeing us stress about it for an entire week!

And Sharon, yes he does have his blanket that he is super attached to. He will be bringing that with him. I will make sure that is in the car before he even is!